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Man Is Beyond Hurt After His Mother Calls Herself A “First Time Mom” After Having A Second Child
Being a parent is an amazing experience that requires effort, patience, and love. However, it can be extra difficult for someone who has a child too young and doesn’t have the resources to look after them. This is what happened to a woman who got pregnant at 16 but wasn’t able to raise her baby.
Later in life, when she had a second kid, she truly felt like a mother. Unfortunately, she voiced those exact thoughts out loud to her firstborn son without thinking. He definitely didn’t take it well.
More info: Reddit
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Mom can afford luxuries and a better lifestyle for her second child and says that she feels like she’s experiencing motherhood for the first time, her older son feels hurt by her words
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster’s mom had him as a teen and lacked the maturity to raise him, so his grandparents looked after him till he was around 12 years old, after which his mom could take him back
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man shared that his 40-year-old mom got married, became financially stable, and recently gave birth to a baby who she bought many expensive accessories for
Image credits: Filip Wouters / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When he had gone to visit his mother, she told him that now she truly felt like a first-time mom because when she had him, she had been inexperienced and financially vulnerable
Image credits: Quiet-Vermicelli7444
The guy felt hurt that his mom considered herself a first-time mother only after having another kid
The poster did mention that he has a good relationship with his mom now as a 24-year-old. Earlier on, when she had him at 16, she was not in the right financial and emotional space to be able to look after him. Luckily, her parents took on the responsibility despite being in poor financial circumstances. That’s why she was able to go and finish her college education.
Many teen girls aren’t this fortunate. Either due to lack of support, poor finances, or other responsibilities, pregnant teen girls often have to drop out of school. Around 51% of teen moms don’t get a high school diploma, and many don’t graduate at all. This can severely impact their future and their ability to get work.
It’s also important to note that newborn or infant care is extremely expensive. It’s hard to imagine a teen mom being able to afford all the costs that come with raising a child while also studying or holding down a job. Luckily, in this case, it seems like OP’s grandparents didn’t burden their daughter with those responsibilities and took it upon themselves to provide.
The poster’s mom worked hard and improved her life so that she could get a place and take her son to live with her. Eventually, she even got married and became financially stable. So, when she had her second child, she was able to afford many luxuries for him that she probably couldn’t give her firstborn.
Image credits: Christian Erfurt / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
When the poster came to visit his mom, she said something that really hurt his feelings. She told him that she finally felt like she could experience motherhood, almost as if it was the first time. He felt pained by her words and probably even jealous.
Even though it was hurtful, her words made sense. She struggled a lot as a teen mom, but now, as an adult living a stable life, she could finally experience the joys of being a mother. In fact, teen moms go through intense physical, psychological, social, and spiritual challenges. So, it’s no wonder that the woman feels grateful for her life now.
The guy might have been hurt because he misunderstood his mother’s words and felt like she was saying she only became a mom after having her second kid. She probably didn’t mean to word it that way, but the damage was done as soon as she blurted it out.
The OP and his mother’s relationship might be alright now, but it certainly is a complicated one. He was also probably forced to grow up and become mature very young just because of his life circumstances. That’s why hearing his mother’s words and seeing the way she was looking after his half-brother probably caused him a lot more pain and jealousy than he expected.
Do you think the author was justified in getting angry with his mother? We’d love to hear your opinion on this situation.
Netizens tried to comfort the poster, and a few shared their own experiences of being raised by teen moms
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What do you think ?
Libstak 3 months ago
He is NTA but he has very much misunderstood her words. Yes she phrased it badly and now can't take it back. She was 16 unmarried, single with no support from the father with an unplanned but nonetheless wanted baby who she could not be the mum women dream of being to their children, she had no support or finances for the life she believed a mother should be having with and providing for their child. Now she has all that and can experience fully being a mum, not a scared teenager with SATS and college and no money. She will spend at least 50% of her time wishing she could have done all this for her first born but she is very grateful at the same time to provide it to her next child.
Sami-Jo Ross 3 months ago
OP is SOOO NTA, but I might be a little biased. My birthing unit abandoned me to move to Georgia with her affair partner when I was 7, and when she had a son she had the balls to post on Facebook about her "first-born child".
R Dennis 3 months ago
Yeah... yours, wow, is a whole different story with a well earned bias. Sorry your incubator sucked.
Load More Replies... Libstak 3 months ago
He is NTA but he has very much misunderstood her words. Yes she phrased it badly and now can't take it back. She was 16 unmarried, single with no support from the father with an unplanned but nonetheless wanted baby who she could not be the mum women dream of being to their children, she had no support or finances for the life she believed a mother should be having with and providing for their child. Now she has all that and can experience fully being a mum, not a scared teenager with SATS and college and no money. She will spend at least 50% of her time wishing she could have done all this for her first born but she is very grateful at the same time to provide it to her next child.
Sami-Jo Ross 3 months ago
OP is SOOO NTA, but I might be a little biased. My birthing unit abandoned me to move to Georgia with her affair partner when I was 7, and when she had a son she had the balls to post on Facebook about her "first-born child".
R Dennis 3 months ago
Yeah... yours, wow, is a whole different story with a well earned bias. Sorry your incubator sucked.
Load More Replies...
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