How do adults not realize that takeout is the very first thing you cut when you have no money but more time to cook? Seriously... takeout and to go coffee were the things I cut when I was on a budget.

A person who works part time but but has Starbucks and takeout every day? What is she, a teenager who lives at home and pays no rent? I'm at the other end of the mortgage tunnel with an income, and I still couldn't justify living like that!

"Work is bad for my mental health." Yeah, no s**t, sherlock. You think the rest of us want to get up at 5 am in the dead of winter and work for 10+ hours with a******s, only to repeat the same thing the next day? No work=no money=no takeout.

I had a fiancée like this, 30 odd years ago: I'd been unemployed for a few weeks which was getting her down, but I managed to pick up some consultancy work for 3 days. What should we do with the money? She insisted I had to take her on holiday, not pay off the credit card (and she was earning double the national average at the time). Some people are simply not practical with money. We split within a year.

I'm blown away by the number of people who don't have a budget in place and know exactly where their money goes! I log everything we spend on a spreadsheet and reconcile what the spreadsheet shows we have versus what the bank account says we have. I see commercials for apps that will find and cancel your "forgotten" subscriptions. You mean you don't know that a couple hundred dollars is disappearing out of your bank account every month? Do you never look at the bank statement? How much f*****g money do these people make? If my budget shows I'm off by even $20, I'm going through everything line by line.

This guy needs a new wife. She's a spoiled princess who needs a reality check. I have plenty of mental health issues and still manage to work full time. What a brat. I hope he leaves her.

I'm sorry I know it sounds cruel, but I could never marry someone who's mental health prohibits them from working a full-time job indefinitely. Then throw in that they can't go without take-out and 'variety' when we're in a financial crunch and this is exactly the type of person I would have to stay far away from... the kind of person who throws around 'mental health' as an excuse to get of being an adult.

Late husband and I lived on one income (his - I'm disabled) & raised 2 kids. One of the best things we did was give each other an allowance. We got $50 a month to spend however we wanted. If a special occasion was coming up, then we had to save for it from our allowance. We figured out that completely depriving ourselves made us feel worse. Somehow, just knowing you have a bit of cash you can spend on whatever makes sticking to the budget easier.

So, your wife doesn't 'want' to work, but 'needs' Starbucks and takeout. Sounds very selfish, my advice would be to run quickly.

Uh.....where does wife think money comes from?? FYI I discovered I can make my own "Starbucks latte" at home for a giant fraction of the cost AND save time on my commute by not stopping at the actual Starbucks!! Just saying......

I love the people who flipped when he said a curse word to his wife in his frustration. oh noes! not "f**k" it's such a horrible word!

I did a spreadsheet once of everything I spent money on because I should not be broke at the end of every month. It was illuminating to say the least. I can usually get to payday with about £100 still in account now by cutting things like take aways and also drinking less. Proper grocery shopping instead of day to day. I don't meal prep but have learnt bulk buy and freezing is a good thing.

How the hell do you get to your eàrly/mid 30s without realising takeaway and Starbucks every day is bad for you financially? o_0

And.....Here we see why many of the current generations "can't afford" a house, or . Not willing to give up anything. not willing to give up her takeout? are you kidding. I am guessing you have 2 car payments, $100+ a month cell phone plan for just the 2 of you, and some premium streaming services too. Plus she's too lazy to work FT (bad for her mental health...whatever) Yeah, you ain't ever retiring. Since you are broke, now might be the most cost effective time for a divorce

Mental/physical health can indeed be an issue with managing ongoing routines. There’s so much here we don’t know about the wife and how she copes, manages, what issues she might struggle with, etc. It’s easy to say “just do such and such”, but there are genuine health issues where this simply does. not. work. ADHD, for example. No matter how much a neurodivergent person wants to do the disciplined thing, the neuro brain processes things very differently, and doesn’t do what it’s owner wants. ADHD isn’t a superpower, it’s a genuine liability in the world of everday, circular tasks. I do think having MIL be the advisor was a mistake, even though wife initially agrred. It adds too personal a dimension; outside advice would have been better. One commenter did a lot of positive reframing - emphasizing alternatives and temporary short-term solutions. An outside adviser might be able to do this as well, while helping set up rewarding goals to help the wife stay on track.

Wow, so a wife who works part time because "full time is bad for her mental health" declines to cut down on her takeout.. when they are in financial trouble, and when her husband is the main bread winner. Where do these people even come from? But a side note - I'd never accept someone telling me I'm f-ing anything. You should never swear at your partner, this is awful...

As a mother and someone who has lived through financial issues I would have sat down, itemized the spending then presented them with a budget to follow that included a personal allowance. Maybe not much, but money they could spend however they wanted while following the rest of the budget.

NTA in this situation it is understandable that the f*word sneeked in. But why are you so harsh on the Wife who apparently has never been in this situation. Downscaling is hard especially if you never had to. She might feel ashamed or humiliated that this is happening ... denial is a real thing. Somebody needs to sit her down and explain to her that things happen, there is no blame or shame connected to this situation and that it is only temporary. OP and his mother went through hart times and clearly know how to get through this without piling up a huge amount of debt. You can even gamefy this to put a positive spin on a not so fun situation. Whoever cuts back the most in a week gets a little reward could be anything ... a day in the park ... sonething that does not cost money but lets you guys spend quality time together. And critizisiing her for mental health problems is a low blow. OP seems to know she has real problems. Let her know that nobody is judging her and that it will be