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“I Only Shower Once A Week”: 30 Things People’s Dates Said That Made Them Nope Out
Dating can be incredibly stressful at one moment and thoroughly awkward at the next. There’s the embarrassment to contend with while you try to connect with the other person. Some blunders are inevitable. In some cases, though, folks can be so ungraceful and blunt that you don’t want to give them a second chance.
The members of the popular r/AskReddit online community opened up about the very worst things people have said to them on a date. Frankly, it’s horrifying. Scroll down for a glimpse of what truly bad dates look like, why it’s important to have boundaries, and what never ever to say.
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#1
Met a man in Thailand when I was there on vacation when I was 19.
As I'm going to take a picture of the view at the place we're at he just walked up to me from behind and shoved his hand down my underwear.
I go "what the f**k?" and grab his hand and yank it away.
He says "I had to make sure you don't have a d**k".
I punched him in the face and left.
F*****g idiot.
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#2
After a very nice date with a man who seemed to be a nice guy, I didn't feel the spark and something felt off. I wasn't going to lead him on, and I'd never ghost anyone. When we were outside my apartment, I told him he was great, but I wasn't interested in a second date.
I've never seen the kind of rage that instantly spread across his face as he screamed at me, "GOOD! BECAUSE I DONT DATE FAT UGLY B****ES LIKE YOU, ANYWAY! YOU F*****G C**T!" And then kept ranting, none of which I heard because I was running my a*s up to the entrance of my building and was never so grateful for key card entry and door men.
Dodged a f*****g missile there.
Pandarosa 4 months ago
Oh God same except we saw each other for a month. I called it off over the phone, wasn't really going anywhere, 5 min later he's screaming outside my door the worst language I'd ever heard, brought the entire neighbourhood out, police were called for me thank goodness. Dreadful stuff ☹️
#3
She told me she liked "free expensive food"... I told her she had the intelligence of a corn flake and the personality of a cardboard box.
Verywell Mind suggests avoiding making too many judgmental comments on your first dates. You want to leave a positive impression instead of coming off as someone who’s overly negative. If you find that you’re not clicking with the other person, you can simply choose not to go on another date instead of criticizing them too much.
While compliments are nice to give and receive, it’s really best not to go overboard with them. Your date might feel a bit weirded out if you’re constantly gushing about how amazing they are.
Meanwhile, you should also avoid talking about your ex-partners on your first dates. A lot of people have had relationships that weren’t stellar, yes. But if you’re constantly badmouthing other people you’ve dated, you’re sending some weird signals to your date. When you blame someone for being unequivocally awful, you can seem like a person who avoids taking any responsibility for the relationship having failed. Furthermore, it might give off the impression that you’re not over your ex or that you’re overly judgmental of others.
#4
"You know, I don't usually think fat girls are pretty, but you look great!"
This, importantly, was NOT said to me by the person I was *on a date with*.
This was said to me by a random 80 year old man who decided to INTERRUPT MY DATE.
#5
This was a tinder date and he found out i was 1/2 asian and he said well i only like the half of you that’s white. GIRL WHAT.
#6
Not what she said, but what I said.
We were on a date in the city and walking around while it was really cold outside. We sat down somewhere to take some rest and just chat up and it became quite awkward. Both felt the 'spark' but were to afraid to take a step. So her step was telling me she was cold so I would come in and put my arm over her.
Welll, what did I do? I just said I was cold too and just sat there being all awkward not even moving an inch towards her. Just arms down, chilling without saying a word, being cold as fk.
Apparently it worked because we've been together for 8.5 years and engaged now, but well... it was one of the most awkward things I've ever done I think.
It’s also best not to focus just on yourself when you’re going out, Gentleman's Journal states. The fact is, people tend to enjoy talking about themselves. If you dominate the conversation, your date might feel left out or like you’re not interested in them at all. Show that this isn’t the case. Be curious. Ask them questions. Actively listen to the other person instead of waiting for your turn to speak.
Look, the reality is that everyone makes mistakes. Nobody’s ‘perfect.’ And your nerves can get the better of you if you haven’t dated much or it’s been a while since you were single. While it’s inevitable that everyone will make social mistakes, some of them are far worse than others.
A bit of awkwardness and embarrassment is fine. It’s to be expected. What’s definitely not dandy is for your date to start spouting rude comments and insults. You can tell a lot about another person’s values and character not just by what they say but also by how they say it.
#7
“I have a boyfriend” after inviting me on a date, rubbing my leg, sitting in my lap and hugging me, whispering in my ear after which I tried to kiss her and she pulled away saying she had a boyfriend. I am still confused until this day.
#9
First date had been relatively normal, but while driving back to her place she hits me with this completely out of nowhere;
"I personally think we should just kill anyone over the age of 65, as their life is basically over at that point anyways."
When I voiced my disagreement with that (ridiculous) sentiment, she said that I "wasn't allowed to have an opinion" on the topic because she worked in health care and I didn't.
Needless to say, I dropped her off and never spoke to her again.
While honesty is a virtue, complete and unfiltered openness can create a lot of problems. There’s being direct. And then there’s being far too blunt. A dash of politeness and a smidgen of kindness can go a long way when creating a connection with other people.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should pretend to be someone completely different on your date. It just means that you should strive to be more sensitive to how your behavior affects the people around you. Emotional intelligence is underrated. The upside is that empathy is a skill like any other and can be honed through careful practice and cultivating better self-awareness.
#10
After leaving a pub where we were getting a round of drinks, we strolled past a Tiffany’s jewelry store. She stopped us and gestured to the expensive window items and said, “If this is going to be a thing,” implying her and I as a couple, “then THIS is gonna be a thing,” nodding towards the window.
I laughed it off. She didn’t.
No second date transpired.
#11
She came from a foreign country and said:
‚You should date someone from your own country to keep your population clean.‘
We were sitting at a park at that time, I straight up stood up and walked away.
#12
Went on a first date with a coworker’s daughter (she encouraged the arrangement), we went to dinner, everything is going good when I go to drop her off she asks me to come inside so i oblige. We are chillin on her bed and talking about life and somehow she brings up that if her ex baby daddy (who had just dumped her and moved to another state leaving her with a 5 month old to fend for themselves) came back asking for a second chance she would give it to him. She said this with a serious straight faced expression. And that’s not the worst part I went on to date her for over a month after that and it was the most mentally damaging relationship I’ve ever been in. Boys when the crazy slips out on the first date, RUN and don’t look back.
Wang Zhuang 4 months ago
Why did he keep dating her for a month? After that statement, that should have been the first and last date. He was basically a "you'll do for now" guy
What is the worst thing someone has said to you while you were on a date with them? What’s the most awful date you’ve ever been on, dear Pandas? What advice would you give someone who’s completely new to the dating world? If you’re feeling up to it, share your experiences in the comments.
#13
He kissed me twice, passionately . Then he told me he wasn't really that attracted to me . I asked him why he kissed me, and he said the moon, your eyes, it was beautiful , I said what, but you're not really attracted me? He said no, like only 40% attracted to you. I said f**k off and walked away.
#14
Met on dating site. Drive a bit to meet up with her. As we walk to the restaurant, she runs into a dude she knows and chats him up. No introduction or anything as I stand there awkwardly. Not a huge deal, we only just met in person. She closes out conversation with dude saying "Let's hook up later after I'm done with this" I am pretty noped-out at this point but figure I drove all this way and I am hungry. She then turns to me with a big smile on her face, after dude is a bit away, and says "whew I have been trying to get with him for a while." Dinner was whatever. I get a text from her a while (days) later asking why she hadn't heard from me, "I thought we hit it off." Bless her heart.
George Costanza 4 months ago
Was the dating app Tinder? Maybe she was just on there to F around and thought you were too.
#15
A guy I was seeing started crying after being intimate and I panicked and asked 'Omg what's wrong? Are you ok?'.
He responded 'It's nothing, I just...I'm just so disappointed that you aren't a little tiny blonde or Latina, that's all' (Then proceeded to tap my hand).
I was absolutely crushed. Ends up he had narcissistic personality disorder and said it deliberately to hurt me as he knew I was incredibly self conscious at the time of how I looked.
reuben kift 4 months ago
Please, tell us whether or not you noped the f**k outta there after that.
#16
As soon as I stepped out of the car she said: “oh, too short” and started laughing. This was in the beginning of the date too lol.
#17
I cooked dinner (spaghetti carbonara) she proceeded to talk to her friend during their dinner about their upcoming court date.
After the dinner she proceeded to down a bottle of vodka, she passed out 40 min later so i carried her to the bedroom, put her in bed, filled a glass with water and let her sleep.
Called a mate and we went out partying, came back 05 in the morning, she woke up and asked where i had been, told her i was in the room next door, she then asked if we could start drinking again which i answered no too. She then said that she saw i had a bottle of whiskey down stairs but i just said that she should not be drinking anymore, we argued for 30 min and then went to bed, we fell asleep and i drove her home the next morning. She said we should meet again and that i was the nicest guy she had met.... Blocked her on all social media and continued to live my life.
#18
Nothing. He literally said nothing. I was freshly divorced, he was an older friend of a friend. Our mutual friend talked him up and set up a blind date for us at a dinner party.
He didn't say a word, just grinned and stared at me. I'm an introvert myself, so I can appreciate being laconic. I tried everything to get him to say something. How old are you kids? Grin. How long have you been divorced? Grin.
I felt bad for the guy, but a little creeped out, too.
#20
"I only shower once a week"
Completely unprovoked a few minutes into the date. She had a noticeable odor.
#21
Asked which girl he should go on a next date with. Even showed pics of different girls and asked my opinion on them. And had the audacity to text me some time later when I was already in a relationship. Bro doesn't know what game he is playing.
Lauren Caswell 4 months ago
I'd guess it's one of those awful 'male influencer' followers that treat interactions with women as a game, not just talk to us as ppl
#22
"wow, you really think you are smart because you went to xxx college and I didn't huh? Do you even know what an NDA is because I signed one for Meta"
My good sir, not a brag.
#23
He took me to a sports bar doing 1/2 price wine bottles.. because I like sports and wine.. (and it was the first round of the nhl playoffs) then proceeded to tell me how professional hockey was scripted for 2 hours. He paid for some food and I paid for the wine (which we predetermined and I was more than happy with) but then asked to take my leftovers home (was a few fries and awkward part of the tortilla from my Cesar wrap that had no stuff in it), and explained that he needed it for an experiment he was working on with his roommate. After the date was done and we were leaving he asked me to come 45mins away (at like 10pm) to his place, not for sex, but because he lived alone and there was supposed to be a thunderstorm.
The whole date was weird and I politely told him I’m okay, and I didn’t really think we clicked that well. He then said… “oh that makes sense, you’re not very intelligent and I’m looking for a dumb girl, but not YOU dumb”. Was super confused about that to be honest because told me he didn’t finish highschool and couldn’t math out what 1/2 price wine even was because the menu only said it was 39$ but didn’t give the 1/2 price night amount.
Hayhaypaula 4 months ago
So he wanted to take your leftovers to his roommate, but he lived alone?
#24
After telling him I did a physics degree: "Are you, like, autistic or something?"
Probably not the worst thing, but definitely the thing that left me a bit speechless.
#25
I had a guy tell me on our first Valentine's day together that if the best relationship he had was with his ex and if she ever wised up he'd go back to her.
#26
Took an online dating match to a Thai place and then to an acapella concert (both things she wanted to do). The Thai place messed up my order in preparation and did not ever bring it to us. Our waiter was overwhelmed and by the time he got back to us he realized the mistake. I just had him take it off and paid for us, leaving a tip.
While waiting for the concert to start, I asked her about being a vocal major and asked if she had a go to karaoke song. She told me she would never risk her instrument with something so basic as that. After the show finished, she said she could never take me serious as a man because I didn’t demand that the whole bill be free and that I left a tip still. .
#27
Guy in college took me out to dinner and he said, “Are you sure you’re all woman? I can’t help but feel you had surgery to be a woman because women aren’t supposed to be as masculine as you are.”
I splashed water in his face and said, “do you see Adam’s Apple on me?!” Instead of waiting for his answer I stormed out and was thankful I didn’t order anything to eat.
#28
Wasn't me, but my brother had an interest in "the weird girl" of his class.
He went on exactly one date with her to which she ended the night saying "you would make a handsome corpse."
The plot twist? She is my wife's cousin, and this happened before we got together.
DennyS (denzoren) 4 months ago
Why thank you. Better to be handsome after death than never right? lol
#30
"Your earlobes are so fat, like a Buddha.".
What do you think ?
Scotira 4 months ago
Ok, I have a question to all my fellow pandas: what's this thing with going on dates with different people in the same time frame? I remember my best friend after a year in the US (on a school exchange) tell me she dated a couple guys at the same time, that was normal in the US. And I was like 👀. If I were trying to see if a relationship/ date was going anywhere I'd be immediately put off if I found out the guy had been seeing other women. And I would expect it's the same for the men. And that "are we exclusive" thing? Excuse me? If I have sex with someone (other than a one night stand) that is a given and not something that has to be asked 😳. Am I just old? I mean I'm happily married since more than 10 years and if this is how it is today should my husband leave before me, I'll just get a ton of cats and be done with it.
Elle Lian 4 months ago
I think you look at the first several dates as a compatibility test. You are there to do two things: have fun and get to know the other person. If either decides that you aren’t compatible, then you go on with life. You can’t take it personally. (But, I know that’s easier said than done.) I think in a lot of cases, you need to date a lot of people to figure out what you like and if this person meets that criteria. (This is all considering you didn’t previously know these people well.) When my husband and I met, he had dates with other women lined up, but quit dating when he decided that he wanted to get more serious with me (pending I agreed, of course). I didn’t take offense b/c I could easily have done the same. There wasn’t any commitment yet. Now, had he continued to date after that point, there would have been problems! lol.
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Alexandra 4 months ago
I'm exaggerating slightly, but I'm soooo glad I don't date! It sounds so confusing, so tiring and, above all, it sounds like not a lot of fun but a lot of stress. Apparently dating is a hobby for some and an opportunity to get fee meals for others.
Tonyah Mcanelly 4 months ago
I went on a date with a guy . we had dinner and that was it. I drove no biggie. he could not read the menu Red flag no. one I pulled over for an ambulance he told me there is no reason to do that because the emergency is not real its a test Red flag no. 2 . After dinner we go back to my car he wants to light up a cigarette in my brand new car. I told him he needed to put it out.. I dont smoke i dont want it in my car. I have asthma and showed him my inhaler His response was in my country women do as men tell them . I said in my country the car is in my name GTFO. I made him uber home .
DennyS (denzoren) 4 months ago
Did he also wear a red flag? He's like the red flag of red flags lol Glad you saw it early.
Load More Replies...
Violet Radar 4 months ago
Was about to go on a date with a guy who divulged he had just gotten out of prison for solicitation to have his wife offed. Of course he was innocent and had to take the plea deal, that's the only reason he went to prison. He said it was a misunderstanding, he had only hired a person to SCARE, not off her. He thought I would still go out with him. Thankful he told me though. I did some digging and discovered three months before he went to jail, he "found her" face down in a creek with massive head trauma so bad that she cannot recall what happened. Hmm, I wonder.
Lace Neil 4 months ago
I went on a date, drinks at a pub and he walked me home afterwards. Outside my house, after acting like a gentleman all through the date, he then started putting the pressure on me to invite him in for sex. I said, after ages of trying to get him to accept the word "no", that my brothers were in the living room and if he didn't leave right now, it wouldn't be good for him. He left. A few weeks later, I met my current boyfriend who I'm still with.
WalterWhiteSavannah 4 months ago
Unfortunately it seems like my current relationship may be over sooner than later and God I'm not looking forward to dating again if and when I do. My options ate essentially people at work or apps and I've had some experiences on dating apps. One immediately told me she wants kids with me (like as an icebreaker) which, fair to an extent, she was 38 I was 33 and I can see why she's in a hurry just was so out of the blue and intense when she said it. Another girl was maybe 110lbs in her pics and probly 250ish when I saw her in person. I don't wanna body shame anyone but like "oh my pics are a couple years old". OK and maybe if you've more than doubled in size the last few years it would be reasonable to have more recent pics.
Data1001 4 months ago
If you've got some extra time in your week, I'd suggest finding an activity you enjoy which involves a decent amount of other people. It could be volunteering, learning a new skill, auditioning for a play, etc. Those are the places where people tend to have much better luck in finding someone to date -- and the bonus is, you will already know that you share similar interests!
Load More Replies...
Ruth Watry 4 months ago
That his grandpa beat his grandma, but it was OK, because she would not have stayed married to him if she wasn't OK with it.
Brandon Parisien 4 months ago
On a first date with an Indian girl: "let's get married". Insisted it was normal in India. I blocked her; my Indian coworkers confirmed it's not normal, lol. I'm white, and do know about arranged marriages.
Skadi Lifdis 4 months ago
Oh man...I've had some. One guy, I had like 3 dates with when he tells me he was going to Europe with his job and would be gone for a year. Was bummed but whatever. Like 6 months later, he hit me up on the dating site we met, apparently forgetting we had gone out and that he was supposed to be in Europe. Played along for a minute and then reminded him of our brief past. Another - this dude was like super intellectual and I enjoyed someone I could have philosophical conversations with. We went to the Getty on a date and it's going great. Suddenly, he goes "You really should be getting a degree" and started talking down to me. While I've taken some college courses, it wasn't for me and if I want to learn about something, I'll learn. I don't need to go into debt taking classes I don't need to attempt a career that may or may not be boosted by a degree. Started treating me like I was stupid and that was the end of our date.
Marnie 4 months ago
This is totally lame, not a terrible thing, but I just can't ever forget it. I asked a date if he liked System of a Down. He said, "I don't listen to pop music." I should have gotten up and left right then and there. (He ended up stalking/harassing me for a year after we split up. I should have taken it as a sign. Who calls SOAD "pop music"? Only a crazy person.)
Goat express 4 months ago (edited)
The first one is when a guy said that people in Japan that he works with should speak English, even though they live in Japan. The second worst would be nothing. I've had two guys stand me up and ghost me. But I'm happily married now (to a guy who speaks English and Spanish), so they can all bite it.
Data1001 4 months ago
I was on several dating sites about 15 years ago, and went on maybe a dozen dates during that time. Only one led to more dates, but then quickly became obvious we just didn't have chemistry. Now I'm not at all 'driven' and desperate to date, and it's been really nice not to have to worry about that. Not saying I no longer want that kind of relationship, but I believe it'll come when it comes -- and when I'm a lot more ready for it.
Scotira 4 months ago
Ok, I have a question to all my fellow pandas: what's this thing with going on dates with different people in the same time frame? I remember my best friend after a year in the US (on a school exchange) tell me she dated a couple guys at the same time, that was normal in the US. And I was like 👀. If I were trying to see if a relationship/ date was going anywhere I'd be immediately put off if I found out the guy had been seeing other women. And I would expect it's the same for the men. And that "are we exclusive" thing? Excuse me? If I have sex with someone (other than a one night stand) that is a given and not something that has to be asked 😳. Am I just old? I mean I'm happily married since more than 10 years and if this is how it is today should my husband leave before me, I'll just get a ton of cats and be done with it.
Elle Lian 4 months ago
I think you look at the first several dates as a compatibility test. You are there to do two things: have fun and get to know the other person. If either decides that you aren’t compatible, then you go on with life. You can’t take it personally. (But, I know that’s easier said than done.) I think in a lot of cases, you need to date a lot of people to figure out what you like and if this person meets that criteria. (This is all considering you didn’t previously know these people well.) When my husband and I met, he had dates with other women lined up, but quit dating when he decided that he wanted to get more serious with me (pending I agreed, of course). I didn’t take offense b/c I could easily have done the same. There wasn’t any commitment yet. Now, had he continued to date after that point, there would have been problems! lol.
Load More Replies... Alexandra 4 months ago
I'm exaggerating slightly, but I'm soooo glad I don't date! It sounds so confusing, so tiring and, above all, it sounds like not a lot of fun but a lot of stress. Apparently dating is a hobby for some and an opportunity to get fee meals for others.
Tonyah Mcanelly 4 months ago
I went on a date with a guy . we had dinner and that was it. I drove no biggie. he could not read the menu Red flag no. one I pulled over for an ambulance he told me there is no reason to do that because the emergency is not real its a test Red flag no. 2 . After dinner we go back to my car he wants to light up a cigarette in my brand new car. I told him he needed to put it out.. I dont smoke i dont want it in my car. I have asthma and showed him my inhaler His response was in my country women do as men tell them . I said in my country the car is in my name GTFO. I made him uber home .
DennyS (denzoren) 4 months ago
Did he also wear a red flag? He's like the red flag of red flags lol Glad you saw it early.
Load More Replies... Violet Radar 4 months ago
Was about to go on a date with a guy who divulged he had just gotten out of prison for solicitation to have his wife offed. Of course he was innocent and had to take the plea deal, that's the only reason he went to prison. He said it was a misunderstanding, he had only hired a person to SCARE, not off her. He thought I would still go out with him. Thankful he told me though. I did some digging and discovered three months before he went to jail, he "found her" face down in a creek with massive head trauma so bad that she cannot recall what happened. Hmm, I wonder.
Lace Neil 4 months ago
I went on a date, drinks at a pub and he walked me home afterwards. Outside my house, after acting like a gentleman all through the date, he then started putting the pressure on me to invite him in for sex. I said, after ages of trying to get him to accept the word "no", that my brothers were in the living room and if he didn't leave right now, it wouldn't be good for him. He left. A few weeks later, I met my current boyfriend who I'm still with.
WalterWhiteSavannah 4 months ago
Unfortunately it seems like my current relationship may be over sooner than later and God I'm not looking forward to dating again if and when I do. My options ate essentially people at work or apps and I've had some experiences on dating apps. One immediately told me she wants kids with me (like as an icebreaker) which, fair to an extent, she was 38 I was 33 and I can see why she's in a hurry just was so out of the blue and intense when she said it. Another girl was maybe 110lbs in her pics and probly 250ish when I saw her in person. I don't wanna body shame anyone but like "oh my pics are a couple years old". OK and maybe if you've more than doubled in size the last few years it would be reasonable to have more recent pics.
Data1001 4 months ago
If you've got some extra time in your week, I'd suggest finding an activity you enjoy which involves a decent amount of other people. It could be volunteering, learning a new skill, auditioning for a play, etc. Those are the places where people tend to have much better luck in finding someone to date -- and the bonus is, you will already know that you share similar interests!
Load More Replies... Ruth Watry 4 months ago
That his grandpa beat his grandma, but it was OK, because she would not have stayed married to him if she wasn't OK with it.
Brandon Parisien 4 months ago
On a first date with an Indian girl: "let's get married". Insisted it was normal in India. I blocked her; my Indian coworkers confirmed it's not normal, lol. I'm white, and do know about arranged marriages.
Skadi Lifdis 4 months ago
Oh man...I've had some. One guy, I had like 3 dates with when he tells me he was going to Europe with his job and would be gone for a year. Was bummed but whatever. Like 6 months later, he hit me up on the dating site we met, apparently forgetting we had gone out and that he was supposed to be in Europe. Played along for a minute and then reminded him of our brief past. Another - this dude was like super intellectual and I enjoyed someone I could have philosophical conversations with. We went to the Getty on a date and it's going great. Suddenly, he goes "You really should be getting a degree" and started talking down to me. While I've taken some college courses, it wasn't for me and if I want to learn about something, I'll learn. I don't need to go into debt taking classes I don't need to attempt a career that may or may not be boosted by a degree. Started treating me like I was stupid and that was the end of our date.
Marnie 4 months ago
This is totally lame, not a terrible thing, but I just can't ever forget it. I asked a date if he liked System of a Down. He said, "I don't listen to pop music." I should have gotten up and left right then and there. (He ended up stalking/harassing me for a year after we split up. I should have taken it as a sign. Who calls SOAD "pop music"? Only a crazy person.)
Goat express 4 months ago (edited)
The first one is when a guy said that people in Japan that he works with should speak English, even though they live in Japan. The second worst would be nothing. I've had two guys stand me up and ghost me. But I'm happily married now (to a guy who speaks English and Spanish), so they can all bite it.
Data1001 4 months ago
I was on several dating sites about 15 years ago, and went on maybe a dozen dates during that time. Only one led to more dates, but then quickly became obvious we just didn't have chemistry. Now I'm not at all 'driven' and desperate to date, and it's been really nice not to have to worry about that. Not saying I no longer want that kind of relationship, but I believe it'll come when it comes -- and when I'm a lot more ready for it.
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