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“I Will Never Be Able To Forget That”: 45 Of The Worst Things People Heard From Their Parents
Toxic parents exist, unfortunately. They scar their children for life through their hurtful words and inconsiderate actions. What’s worse is it can turn into a vicious cycle and cause generational trauma.
You’re about to read answers to a Reddit question that asked, “What’s the worst thing your parents have ever said to you?” People didn’t hold back and shared stories ranging from invalidated feelings to their mothers and fathers wishing they were never born.
Scroll through, but be forewarned that some of these texts involve themes of attempted self-harm and forced intimacy. Proceed with caution.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
In the hospital after trying to k*ll myself, my mother said to me with hate in her eyes, "You couldn't even do that right." I was 14. F**k you mom, I keep living just to spite you now!
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#2
I occasionally drink. My sister died from alcoholism.
She was in a coma in the bed at the hospital suffering from liver failure. I was there with my Dad.
He said "I always though this would happen to you. Not her."
I have ALWAYS been the straightedge kid, she smoked, drank, did d***s. I was the Church youth group kid, she was just there if her bf at the time was. I barely drink, she was an alcoholic. I never smoked, she did. I don't do d***s, she did. I've always been monogamous, she was not. I've given them money to help them through tough spots, she convinced them to give her their retirement and blew it.
The exact opposite of her. But my Dad and my Mom always made her the priority and thought she was a 'princess'.
So as she was dying from the things she did. They dared to act like it should have been me on the bed.
I will never be able to forget that.
#3
“You’d better lose some weight and hope someone marries you for your looks, because your personality sucks.”
I was 14 and had just been fired from my very first job. He doesn’t even remember saying it; for me it was one of the worst days of my life and lives in the back of my head, for my father it was a Tuesday.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 2 months ago
Words can hurt more than physical pain, and stay with you forever.
#4
"Look, everyone has some kind of pain. Grandma, Dad and I all have arthritis and other things. Grandma's hip replacement wore out, Dad has sciatica, and I have bursitis. Stop complaining and learn to deal with it." - My mother, driving me home after I received my fibromyalgia diagnosis.
Karma got her later when one of her friends verbally smacked it into her head that fibromyalgia pain is severe and debilitating, that it could get worse over time, and that I may end up wheelchair-bound. She also talked about how badly the brain fog f***s a person up.
My mom was almost in tears as she apologized. She gave me a fibromyalgia awareness bracelet and started coming to my rheumatology appointments to ask questions for me whenever I had brain fog.
#5
Literally as we were walking out of the hospital, after having to take our three week old daughter off life support. My mother chose that moment to remind me that she really thought we should have baptized our daughter because now she can't go to heaven. Yeah, I just got in the car and ignored her. If I would have reacted, she would have needed to go back into the hospital.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 2 months ago
Because God needs a magic spell casting on a child before he will accept them into Heaven. Makes total sense, if God is a monster.
#6
'If you come back to this house I'll beat you and k*ll you'. Haven't seen him for 3 and a half years after that & I don't intend to. Blood thicker than water my a**. I'll always cut off toxic family.
Guess Undheit 2 months ago
"Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb." THAT is the phrase, meaning chosen relationships are more meaningful than genetic family.
#7
My biological mother told me that I should be in the urn with my dead son. She was convinced that because I was sometimes a danger to myself (I’m epileptic), I obviously k*lled him somehow… despite him passing in his sleep from SIDS.
I don’t speak to her anymore.
#8
"If you get AIDS we're going to let you die alone because we're not letting you bankrupt us." I was 18 and they found out I was gay from a letter I had thrown away. They also said one of the funniest things to me during that same time, "What if you want to be President?!".
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 2 months ago
Are presidents not allowed to be gay? And fuq the parents for the aids comment.
#9
My parents are tied.
Dad: “So they diagnosed you with depression and anxiety? By definition those two things would cancel themselves out. You won’t be going back.” I was 13.
Mom: She told me over and over while growing up “You can ALWAYS come home! No matter what you can always come home!”
I was 22 and lost my job and could not find another with enough hours. We went out to lunch, I spilled my guts and how ashamed I was at failing. She looked me dead in the face and said “Tell me how that turns out.” I slept under a bridge for 3 months.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 2 months ago
Depression and anxiety cancel each other out? What freaking definitions was he using?
#10
In college, my dad told me over the phone, "It's not your mom's fault she doesn't love you as much as she loves your sister. She just doesn't understand you. You're too weird for her."
Thanks, dad. That didn't hurt at all.
iseefractals 2 months ago
There's a difference between "loving your kids" and "liking your kids" You can love them more than life itself, doesn't mean you have anything in common with them. Besides, look at it from the other side, as a child you love your parents....but you still have one that you prefer.
#11
You were never [SAed]. You are making it up.
#12
I proudly told my mom I got 98% on one of my high school exams. She replied “Where did you lose the 2%?”.
#13
That I ruined everything she’s ever had.
Joke is on my mom because after my dad died, I went no contact and it’s been AMAZING.
#15
My mother told me "You can't wear what the pretty girls wear because you're fat."
Boredest Panda 2 months ago
Lady, I’m already wearing what pretty girls wear because I’m pretty enough
#16
When he threatened to kick me out of the house because I took a different route home than he would have when coming home from dinner.
It was so out of left field. I thought he was joking but he was raging and was literally about to kick me to the street. Led to this massive argument that came close to having the cops called.
I was 20 and it completely changed my view of him. I found a job across the country a few weeks later and left. Today he doesn't remember the incident at all and wonders why I never accept his help for anything and visit once every five years. Got what you wanted old man.
Pencil McGovern 2 months ago
If it was completely out of left field, nothing similar had happened before, nothing similar since and he doesn't remember it, it very well could have been a psychotic break. It's much more common (particularly after a trauma) than people realize. Based *solely* on what's written here, I think reconciliation would be worth exploring.
#17
My dad had been single since him and my mom divorced when I was 1 year old. I was 13 and was pretty sick trying to sleep in the back seat going to his house for the weekend. He just recently got a girlfriend at this point who had a daughter a few years younger than me. He forced me to go to his place that weekend even though I was pretty sick and he was frustrated I wasn’t interested in talking to him on the drive to his place.
So he pulls over, looks back at me and says “ya know, I can just take you back to your moms. I don’t *need* you to love me anymore. I have {girlfriend} and {girlfriend’s daughter} now.”
He did in fact take me back to my moms and I didn’t see him again for another 3-4 years after she dumped him cause she found someone richer.
#18
My mom had a condition which made it hard to keep a pregnancy. She had 13 total pregnancies, only 4 survived. I was the only planned pregnancy that survived.
“You were the only one I wanted and look how you turned out”.
#19
I told my dad I needed mental health help and he told me I just needed to pray more.
#21
My Mum died on Mother’s Day 2020. My Dad declined quickly without her. He said to me:
“I just don’t have anything to live for anymore. Everything I did, I did for her.”
Me: “You still have friends, family, kids…you know I’m still here for you.”
Dad: “You were just for her too.”
He died soon after telling me he never wanted me.
Kobe (she) 2 months ago
I don't read the Ï didn't want you" in that. I do see a heavily grieved man though. And heavy grief can mess up with perspective a lot. Especially the child being in grief as well. The everything I did, I did for her part, might just as well go for the last years where it was just the two of them. Sometimes in grief one just can't see ( or want to see) the silver lining...
#23
While my parents were going through a divorce (I was 9 years old), I overheard my mom saying to my father "I don't want (me), I'll take the younger one, he's less annoying".
#24
When my mom found out I lost my virginity she said “God is punishing me for everything I’ve done wrong in my life with a daughter who makes the same mistakes”.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 2 months ago
The whole virginity thing is backwards teaching and treats women as property.
#25
I never wanted children after your sister. (I'm #2).
iseefractals 2 months ago
Well, you had two other options available to ya, but you chose the one that runs the risk of crotch goblins.
#26
While my body was deteriorating from an undiagnosed medical condition my mother said, "Do you know how much it hurts ME to see you just lying there?" This was after a 2 day hospital stay, 2 biopsies, and several doctor's appointments. NOTE: I had lost about 100 pounds of muscle mass in 7 months by the time I was diagnosed, literally my whole body hurt. Getting up hurt, laying down hurt. Anything I did, hurt.
#27
After my ex-wife remarried, my dad befriended her new husband. It’s especially weird because she abandoned the daughter we had together. My ex and her husband came to Holiday events that I wasn’t even invited to. I confronted my dad and he said that “Brent” was like the son he never had. Brent like NASCAR, country music, and religion. I llied none of those things.
It ended my relationship with him and my mom by extension. I have only spoken to my dad a handful of times since then. That was nearly 30 years ago. We never even spoke when my mom and sister died. I did make peace with my mom while she was on her deathbed. My dad has cancer (stage 3) and I can’t gather a single f**k/ won’t contact him/ won’t attend the funeral/ don’t want a cent from his estate. So yea, f**k that guy.
Fun fact: exwife cheated on Brent too and they were only together for a few years.
#28
My mom all my childhood “I should have aborted you”…like yeah but you didn’t so now what?
CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 months ago
Yeah, I heard stuff like this, too. It's almost as if it's a figure of speech for them. Gross.
#29
Being anxious and depressed is a choice.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 2 months ago
If you have ever had depression you know it's not a choice. No one would choose to feel like that.
#30
My mother lost her first baby. It was a boy and he was stillborn. She told me she got pregnant with me bc she thought my dad would stop drinking if she gave him a son… I’m not a son. It basically made me feel like it was my job to keep my father happy no matter what. And he was never happy so I always felt like a failure.
#31
"You are born sinful and need to ask for forgiveness and purify yourself, it is going to be very difficult and you will suffer a lot in life, but if you don't do it, you will go to hell after you die."
if you believe in what I typed above, it is morally wrong to make kids, because of the incredible burden you put on your child and very high risk that your child will just suffer in hell eternally.
whodunnitfan2013 2 months ago
My parents preached about how I needed to ask for forgiveness after I was séxually abùsed as a child.
#32
Not to me. I overheard my mom tell my sis she wouldn't be a good mother because she wore pants to church. This was 19 years ago in 2005. My sister and her hubby have two dogs....
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 2 months ago
Women wearing pants to church? The horror! Women will be wanting the vote next!
#33
My mother often said to me "I wished you had died and your sister had lived."
It still stings to this day.
Boredest Panda 2 months ago
All these parents wish their own children’s deaths! Like, wtf??? If you don’t want kids and can’t handle them, don’t have them!
#34
I had splurged on a box of temporary hair dye when o was 15. Mom told me
If I spent as much time on my hair as I did on my weight, I wouldn't be so huge
For the record, I'm 5'7. At the time I weighed around 130 lbs.
#35
When I was 16 my mom started to suspect that I was Bisexual after she read through my computer search history. After a pretty intense one-sided fist fight(she started it)she told me she couldn’t love or trust me after finding this out, and starting crying after asking me if I’d ever had “feelings” for my 13 year old sister(I hadn’t).
#36
"I'm moving to (halfway across country) with your brother. There isn't anything for me here."
Except me, my sister, her 2 sons-in-law and all 5 of her grandchildren.
#37
“This is just like when your mother had a miscarriage” when they found out I was gay.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 months ago
Just wow. So their child really is dead to them now for being gay
#38
In a therapy session when he’s explaining why I seem to piss him off more than everyone else: “I’m angry at you because your mother refused to get an abortion.”
Explained a lot, actually.
#39
"Your mom didn't die just so you could throw your life away." From my dad.
Said while crying during what was pretty much an intervention.
My mom died giving birth to me and I've only seen my dad cry four times in my life.
Certainly hurt, though at the time it was something I probably needed to hear.
StrangeOne 2 months ago
This one sounds warranted and from a father who's scared and deeply cares.
#40
Parents who tell their children “You are just like [other parent]!” are awful people.
*You’re just like someone I hate*.
Miss Mali 2 months ago
My mom has said that to me I have responded with well u pick him, u married him and u chose to procreate with him what did u expect??? And thanks mom I happen to think my dad had some wonderful qualities and that those are the ones I picked up. All the ways I was screwed up were actually just like u and I decided I didn't want to be like u and so I worked hard to turn that part of me around, what's ur excuse???
#41
“I love you, but you’re still going to hell; once you turn 18, pack your s**t and leave.”
Beak Hookage 2 months ago
Translation: I don't love you but am too much of a self-righteous hypocrite to admit it.
#42
“You have a simian face”, “It’s lucky you are smart bc you are not pretty”, “You were cursed with your father’s genes to give you that big fat a*s”.
Lost Penny 2 months ago (edited)
What a lovely woman and a great mother! (just in case, it's /s)
#43
Its not one thing. Everytime I shared a problem with her, she’ll remember it and then turn it against me. Sometimes even months or years later bring it up in a fight and make it as if I am the problem. Because of this, I have hard time being vulnerable with anyone and sharing anything (except reddit I guess)
EDIT: Wow I wasn’t expecting so many people to relate to this. It was difficult when I was younger. Then as an adult I went to therapy because I don’t want to live a life without any connection with people. It has helped a lot (much better than before) including my relationship with my mom. Now if she or any one does this: 1) I know not to take it to heart and ruminate on it and 2) Remind her that it hurts my feelings. I still do love my mother. But those childhood experiences did affect my adulthood a lot.
Our scars from childhood takes time to heal. I still keep my guard up more so than my friends for example but after getting to know more about someone, I decide if I want to share more.
I hope what I learnt through therapy helps everyone experiencing the same thing. I’m learning to take risks and get hurt in the process. I hope it works for you too 🤗.
StrangeOne 2 months ago (edited)
I can so relate to that, too. Like, some moms can be jerks but then they treat you very well other times, and are there to support you. But with all that, just the cutting words now and then can overpower the positive. It takes a long time to practice to let it slide off your back and not let the words and tone phase you. Once you can start standing up for yourself you'll feel so much better and those bad moments won't marinate in your head.
#44
"Toylil, there are two types of people in this world: those who are street smart and those who are book smart. You are neither".
#45
My dad once told me that he loved me, but he really didn't like me. I was a teen with very low self esteem. Way to bolster my confidence dad.
What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 months ago
"We only adopted you because I didn't want Melanie [older sister] to be an only child." - "Your biological mother is a druggie junkie alcoholic and you're going to end up JUST LIKE HER." - "You should be GRATEFUL I adopted you." - "You're gutter scum, just like your biological mother." And then all of the violence and beatings and getting knifed! Thanks, Mom!
MaryHadaLittleLamb 2 months ago
My God. I'm sorry you had to deal with all that. You are worthy of love, but she was not worthy of you.
Load More Replies...
Guess Undheit 2 months ago (edited)
There were plenty of abusive thinks I endured, several of those listed are familiar. But the one that didn't hurt me is the one that showed the narcs for what they were. "Well go to hell because of you!!!" (the cult telling them if children - atheist me - don't belong to the cult, the "parents" go to hell). It was ALWAYS about them, what they wanted. My concerns, needs, wants, ambitions didn't matter, I was there to serve THEM. And that's without mentioning the violence. [ .................. ] I cut them off permanently over 20 years ago, not a word to them until they croaked. I'll bet they called themselves "victims" because I chose silence and non-contact.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 months ago
::hugs:: The empathy and sympathy that you, an "internet stranger" (so to speak) shows for these children/people is way more than most of them received from their actual parents. As an adopted child who went through some... stuff (see my comment on this article for a summary, lol) I can say... thank you. I appreciate it more than I can say with words. It sounds silly to type out, but for someone who took decades of hate and loathing from my mother (my dad was an awesome dad, but he was a weak person and didn't stop my mom... in fact, she verbally AND physically abused him as well) - it really actually means a lot to feel the very basic human empathy and sympathy from someone. Thank you. <3
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 months ago
"We only adopted you because I didn't want Melanie [older sister] to be an only child." - "Your biological mother is a druggie junkie alcoholic and you're going to end up JUST LIKE HER." - "You should be GRATEFUL I adopted you." - "You're gutter scum, just like your biological mother." And then all of the violence and beatings and getting knifed! Thanks, Mom!
MaryHadaLittleLamb 2 months ago
My God. I'm sorry you had to deal with all that. You are worthy of love, but she was not worthy of you.
Load More Replies... Guess Undheit 2 months ago (edited)
There were plenty of abusive thinks I endured, several of those listed are familiar. But the one that didn't hurt me is the one that showed the narcs for what they were. "Well go to hell because of you!!!" (the cult telling them if children - atheist me - don't belong to the cult, the "parents" go to hell). It was ALWAYS about them, what they wanted. My concerns, needs, wants, ambitions didn't matter, I was there to serve THEM. And that's without mentioning the violence. [ .................. ] I cut them off permanently over 20 years ago, not a word to them until they croaked. I'll bet they called themselves "victims" because I chose silence and non-contact.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 months ago
::hugs:: The empathy and sympathy that you, an "internet stranger" (so to speak) shows for these children/people is way more than most of them received from their actual parents. As an adopted child who went through some... stuff (see my comment on this article for a summary, lol) I can say... thank you. I appreciate it more than I can say with words. It sounds silly to type out, but for someone who took decades of hate and loathing from my mother (my dad was an awesome dad, but he was a weak person and didn't stop my mom... in fact, she verbally AND physically abused him as well) - it really actually means a lot to feel the very basic human empathy and sympathy from someone. Thank you. <3
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