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“Management Called The Police”: 30 People Who Had The Worst Luck With Secret Santa
What do a pair of socks, a candle, a vacuum cleaner, and a box of chocolates have in common? All of them are Christmas presents that can be a success or a total flop. That’s because what is an excellent gift for one person might not be for another. But while these examples depend on the person on the receiving end, some items are terrible to give someone, and there’s simply no question about it.
As you probably already gathered, today we’re focusing on gifts; and mostly, the bad ones. We found stories of some of the most unforgivable, ridiculous, even somewhat inappropriate (especially when given at work, which some of the gifts on the list were), and simply the worst gifts people have ever received on Secret Santa. If you thought the ugly sweater you got from Susan in accounting was bad, you might change your mind after reading through this list, so wait no longer and scroll down to find Christmas gift horror stories below.
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#1
There was a woman in our work who really wanted a baby. She was thinking of going for donor sperm and IVF, but would have had to go private for it and was stressing about the expense and uncertainty.
Her Secret Santa present was a turkey baster with a note attached suggesting "Santa" could provide the donor sperm. She broke down crying in the middle of the office while the utter a*sehole of a man that had given her the present laughed uproariously and the HR girls looked ready to throw up in horror.
He had been removed before New Year (dunno if he was fired or if he left willingly), and she had to take a month off due to stress. It was horrible. We don't do Secret Santa anymore in our office.
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#2
We have a family gathering in early December where we have to do Secret Santa for no more than a Fiver and must be bought from a Charity Shop. Hats off to the local British Heart Foundation shop who had an unopened Santa that blows bubbles out of it's backside for £4.50. Absolute winner!
#3
Way back I worked with a woman who had a major reputation for keeping her husband well under the thumb. This guy was not even allowed his own debit card from her without prior clearance.
In an anonymous secret Santa I got her a dog collar with his name on the tag.
She had a f**king meltdown.
#4
Obligatory not me but….
I worked with a girl who sometimes had slightly greasy hair, and an unfortunate monobrow.
She opened in front of everyone a pair of tweezers, a makeup mirror and a bottle of dry shampoo.
Safe to say she was fairly upset.
#5
I got the guy who would lie constantly to get out of work, not good lies either, real s****y lies. So naturally I got him ‘The big book of excuses’.
#6
Well I was the only one to not receive a gift in the secret santa. It was humiliating. Someone got my name and didn't bother.
#7
My worst was when the owner of the company announced that whoever’s name he drew would be getting a new MacBook pro, everything else was a £10 limit. On the day there was a MacBook Pro shaped box with my name on it. Everybody was excited and gathered round. I opened the wrapping and it was indeed a MacBook Pro box. I opened the box and inside was not a new laptop, but a cork screw. The owner of the company thought it was hilarious, everybody else just thought he was a d*ck.
#8
I once worked in a place where a guy with ginger hair received brown hair dye. He had never mentioned wanting to dye his hair at all and was a very unwelcome gift.
The office junior had also had a spray tan a few weeks before, I’m going back around 15 years ago so they were relatively new at the time and the colouring was definitely more orange than they are now. She got a can of Fanta and some orange face paints. She was a 17 year old girl and had only been with the company for a few months and looked absolutely mortified.
Both gifts were left in the conference room after the gifting and nobody ever took responsibility for them.
I never go for humorous gifts unless I know the person really well. If not, I’d rather stick to something generic like biscuits or a mug or something inoffensive. Much rather be boring than be as big an arsehole as either of the aforementioned gift givers.
Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 4 days ago
Briefly worked at a small business (about 20 people) where we had a $10-$15 price range. Rules were nothing "personal" or obscene, no food items (allergies), no holiday specific items, no alcohol or gift cards for alcohol. It was fun.
#9
Someone bought the office brown-nose a fresh, bloody cow's tongue and gave it to him in a glass presentation case.
#10
Broke up with my boyfriend and less than a month later got a ‘grow your own boyfriend’ from secret santa……….
#11
Does nothing count? I have done countless Secret Santas where I have been the one person to end up with nothing. The one thing I like about where I work now is that the person who runs it is like a wolverine when it comes to making sure everyone gets their present.
Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 4 days ago
There should always be one person who knows what name each person got just to keep things fair
#12
A coworker got me makeup brushes, and said I'd be so much prettier with makeup, because I'm so plain.
(I actually like makeup, I just don't always feel like doing it. Apparently my coworker didn't think it was a choice?)
Paul C. 4 days ago
Everyone at our company thought that "Guy" I worked with was SO nice. He treated the colleagues in his team like sh!t. Woman from another department spent way over the allotted amount on his gift because, he was SO nice. If one of the ladies in his team had death rays for eyes, he would have been frazzled!
#13
I'm a woman who used to have long hair. Over lockdown I shaved all my hair off. At the next Secret Santa, someone got me a Britney Spears wig. Absolute comedy gold.
Mary Kelly 4 days ago
i am glad tht you took it in the spirit intended, rather than having yoru husband slap the person who gave it to you!
#14
I was the cleaner and they gave me cleaning products for my home.
#15
I had slept with someone at work, we hadn’t made it public but people had put two and two together, they got me a ‘screw’driver set (implying I screw in the office). Was so embarrassed opening it in front of everyone and people asking me why as a young 22yo female I’d have a masculine type tool box. He obviously got a normal secret Santa as why embarrass the male.
#16
A few years ago, I have gained some weight after having my daughter and was really struggling to loose it, which is the main contribution to my post-partum depression. I shared the situation with my colleagues and got a dumbbell as a secret santa gift with a note 'maybe you need to lift harder, this may help.' I was fuming at the spot but held myself together well (I think).
Left the job for a promotion 3 months later and only used the dumbbell as a doorstop.
#17
When I was in sixth form I was overweight and not very popular/cool and the popular girls got me a thong. I was so obviously not the kind of person to wear one, I felt so humiliated.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 4 days ago
Even if they weren't trying to bully OP (they were), underwear is hardly an appropriate gift to a classmate.
#19
I used to work with someone who was promised a promotion then screwed over by our manager. He got her a mug that said C*nt on it for the secret santa.
#20
I used to work with this very sexist chauvinistic guy who was really vocal about his views on why women aren’t suited in the workplace. So I got him a nice notepad (Paperchase might I add) that had “The future is female” on the front. I thought it would be funny and thought he would see the funny side too but he was furious! I later found it on someone else’s desk, turns out he gave it to another colleague.
#21
Only ever participated in two Secret Santas.
First, sixth form: received a set of some big-ish name bath stuff - cute, but unfortunately I cannot use like 90% of bath products, fancy or otherwise, because of my eczema and generally super-sensitive skin. Put that in a drawer until the summer, when it went into a raffle for a local social club thing.
Second, first Xmas at a new job: despite my usual group of coworkers knowing that I absolutely do not want children, whoever got me as their giftee decided it would be *hilarious* to gift me a baby clothes set, complete with a "hint, hint" written on the tag... -.- Made sure those went in a rubbish bag and in the dumpster at end of shift.
Never, ever, taking part in one again. F**k, if I'm not sure what to get someone, surely a gift card is better than risking upsetting or outright offending them.
Huddo's sister 5 days ago
Why donate the bath stuff but not baby clothes. Would have been great for someone buying second hand things because they can't afford new. I wouldn't let ill intention make things go to waste.
#22
I once got a bottle of moisturiser that was 2/3's full...
#23
A free gift from a magazine. Not even with the magazine, just the freebie, still in packaging branded with the magazine name.
#24
Expensive nuts and wine, clearly a regift. We had to fill out a form with things we can’t have etc, I am allergic to nuts at the time I couldn’t drink, which I made clear on the form.
#25
I had a boss who had an obvious favourite employee. For secret Santa one year she got a mug, mousepad and post-it notes with his face on them.
#26
Not me but a colleague. She had recently (about 5 months prior) gotten out of a long relationship and was in the middle of selling the house and got rid of the dog. She also used to put a crazy amount of effort into secret Santa making massive photo collages for people amongst other things but everything she did was handmade and a lot of time went into it.
One of the other girls thought it would be a great idea to get a blow-up man (the kind hen parties use) and tape on a box of chocolates and a few tins of drink. It very much did not go down well, she was very upset and she had a bit of a meltdown in front of us all about the present. She also said she was not happy because that’s what she got when she goes to such an effort every year.
Fenchurch 4 days ago
I went and read the original post This is what the poster said when someone queried the getting rid of the dog part. "Yes, it was only a few months old and they only had him about a month. They both wanted to keep the dog and were quite petty with each other so they agreed to get rid of it. If I recall correctly, he went and got it back when he got a new bird so it must have been one of his friends it went too."
#27
Got a picture frame. Inside the frame was a picture. This picture had been printed on normal paper, from a s**t printer, in black and white.
The picture was of the gift-giver's face.
#28
Budget was a tenner.
Boss gave the perma-intern a tenner and a pack of polo mints.
Classy.
#29
I once got an IKEA toilet brush. No idea why, nobody from work had ever been in my toilets to think I needed one.
#30
When I was at school I received a secret Santa, it was a smarties tube with two dead Duracell batteries in it….
What do you think ?
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 4 days ago (edited)
Not a Secret Santa, but I used to be on an international online postcard swapping forum, and sometimes groups did gift exchanges. I would go out of my way to pick unique little Aussie souvenirs, or Australian-made sweets or things like that, and they aren't cheap but I enjoyed it. I always got rubbish in return, but one swap was the worst. It was a Valentine's Day one. I got the person I drew a medium-sized stuffed kangaroo, boxed chocolates, some pretty stationery, and a couple other things that I thought were pretty nice. I received (from a different person in the group) a small string of heart lights and the cord was cut in pieces, a torn pink envelope, a single piece of chewing gum, and a tissue. A single tissue. Then when I asked on the boards if anyone else had received actual rubbish (with a photo of what I'd gotten, but not the person's name, username or anything like that) I was the one who got jumped all over for being rude O_o I left that site after that.
Lene 3 days ago
I have never been in postcard swapping forums but was in a lot of penpalling ones for a decade or so. I can totally relate to that drama you are describing. Lol. It was not aimed at me though, but I witnessed a lot of sh*t on those sites. I guess this is just what happens when a lot of (very) different ppl meet over one hobby. I can 100% understand why you left the group. I would have, too.
Load More Replies... brittany 4 days ago
i did secret santa this year and never ever will again. the limit was 30$ which doesnt seem like a lot, but i still had to give up some things i'd normally get for myself to afford it. we all got a list of things our person likes (think candies, foods, sports teams etc) i got everything on my persons list and ended up needing two gift baskets to fit it all. his girlfriend who also works with me somehow found out i was his secret santa and asked when i was getting him the rest of his gift. i was too embarrassed to tell her in front of everyone that i had no more money for anything else. i later found out she was my secret santa and almost all my gifts came from the dollar tree. not shaming the dollar tree or people who shop there, myself included. but how is a person going to ask when they are getting more when i already bought everything on the list and it was 2 gift baskets worth?
Roxy222uk 4 days ago
My husband was working somewhere that had a lot of overtime available at the relevant period, and many people were able to take up a lot of it due to family arrangements, being single or childfree etc, so there was a bit of money around. He put a lot of thought into his Secret Santa gift, although I can't remember what it was I know he matched it to the person's interests. On the day people were getting day trips to a spa and whole salmons. My husband got a plastic head band with Shrek ears on. Fuming doesn't start to describe how he felt, and he's generally the most laid back person you could meet.
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 4 days ago (edited)
Not a Secret Santa, but I used to be on an international online postcard swapping forum, and sometimes groups did gift exchanges. I would go out of my way to pick unique little Aussie souvenirs, or Australian-made sweets or things like that, and they aren't cheap but I enjoyed it. I always got rubbish in return, but one swap was the worst. It was a Valentine's Day one. I got the person I drew a medium-sized stuffed kangaroo, boxed chocolates, some pretty stationery, and a couple other things that I thought were pretty nice. I received (from a different person in the group) a small string of heart lights and the cord was cut in pieces, a torn pink envelope, a single piece of chewing gum, and a tissue. A single tissue. Then when I asked on the boards if anyone else had received actual rubbish (with a photo of what I'd gotten, but not the person's name, username or anything like that) I was the one who got jumped all over for being rude O_o I left that site after that.
Lene 3 days ago
I have never been in postcard swapping forums but was in a lot of penpalling ones for a decade or so. I can totally relate to that drama you are describing. Lol. It was not aimed at me though, but I witnessed a lot of sh*t on those sites. I guess this is just what happens when a lot of (very) different ppl meet over one hobby. I can 100% understand why you left the group. I would have, too.
Load More Replies... brittany 4 days ago
i did secret santa this year and never ever will again. the limit was 30$ which doesnt seem like a lot, but i still had to give up some things i'd normally get for myself to afford it. we all got a list of things our person likes (think candies, foods, sports teams etc) i got everything on my persons list and ended up needing two gift baskets to fit it all. his girlfriend who also works with me somehow found out i was his secret santa and asked when i was getting him the rest of his gift. i was too embarrassed to tell her in front of everyone that i had no more money for anything else. i later found out she was my secret santa and almost all my gifts came from the dollar tree. not shaming the dollar tree or people who shop there, myself included. but how is a person going to ask when they are getting more when i already bought everything on the list and it was 2 gift baskets worth?
Roxy222uk 4 days ago
My husband was working somewhere that had a lot of overtime available at the relevant period, and many people were able to take up a lot of it due to family arrangements, being single or childfree etc, so there was a bit of money around. He put a lot of thought into his Secret Santa gift, although I can't remember what it was I know he matched it to the person's interests. On the day people were getting day trips to a spa and whole salmons. My husband got a plastic head band with Shrek ears on. Fuming doesn't start to describe how he felt, and he's generally the most laid back person you could meet.
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