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The miracle of childbirth is a beautiful thing. And welcoming a precious baby into the world can be an extremely emotional experience, both for the parents and for the health care workers by their side. But unfortunately, not everything that happens in the delivery room brings tears of joy to the doctors’ and nurses' eyes. Every child deserves parents, but sadly, not every parent deserves to have kids.

Employees who work in maternity wards have recently been opening up on Reddit about the absolute worst moms and dads they’ve encountered. We’ll warn you right now that these may not be the easiest stories to get through, but they’re good reminders to hold your children close today if you’re a parent. And keep reading to find a conversation with author, teacher, speaker and former midwife, Rachel Reed, PhD.

#1

A woman with her face in her hands appears stressed, reflecting a maternity employee's challenging experiences. My work took me to a perinatal mental health unit.

There was a new mum who was an in-patient there, had the baby a week or two back, she had post partum psychosis and was currently catatonic.

Her husband had asked a member of staff when they could start trying for their second baby.

Wtf is wrong with his priorities??! He shouldn't be a parent. Or a husband.

TeamOfPups , Daniel Martinez/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #2

    Newborn baby wrapped in a striped blanket and hat, held by a maternity nurse. My OB told me the story of his saddest delivery - he delivered a baby of a 12 year old girl. On one of the postpartum rounds when he went in to check on her, she was asleep and was sucking her thumb.

    JulianneW , Wesley Tingey/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a friend in highschool who had an abortion at 12yo. The person who got her pregnant was a family member. A lot of sad stories like that out there.

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    #3

    Newborn baby in a beige onesie crying on a knitted blanket, illustrating parenting challenges. Not an OB, I’m someone who gave birth. I heard another new mom in the same ward speak to her just born baby boy “shhh now, boys don’t cry” over and over. I could only imagine how that poor child will be brought up.

    Dexmoser , Olivie Strauss/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    To learn even more about this topic, we got in touch with author, teacher, speaker and former midwife, Rachel Reed, PhD. Rachel was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and explain what it's really like to be in the maternity ward.

    "Very busy and task-orientated. Over the past decade there has been increased work pressures, short-staffing and excessive amounts of documentation," she explained.

    #4

    Close-up of a pregnant woman in a blue dress cradling her belly, symbolizing maternity experiences and challenges. Was a student nurse shadowing a community health visitor. Visited a pregnant woman who hadn't found out the gender of the baby yet. She (for some reason) told us that her boyfriend (father of the baby) had been previously convicted of sexual assault against a child under 13. The mother said it so casually, and was angry that people kept judging him for a "mistake" he made.

    The health visitor was horrified, and asked if she wasn't worried he would hurt her sons (2 boys under 10 from a previous relationship). She just said "of course not, they're boys!", basically admitting this man did something to a young girl.

    So health visitor asked, "what if the baby you're having now is a girl?". This woman literally shrugged and said "then I'll abort it and we'll try again until we get a boy". She said it so casually, like she was talking about the weather.

    I've never been more disgusting with a human, and I hope that the children are safe.

    AwkwardLittleMush , Lukas Menke/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    zims
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mmmmmmno, if you'd rather have an abortion than risk him having a girl to molest, you know he didn't "make a mistake" and you fully expect him to do it again.

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    #5

    Distressed woman lying in bed, hand over face, reflecting maternity stress. Not in the maternity ward but in the ED, we have a regular patient. She has had 8 kids taken away. She said she is going to keep having them until she gets to keep one.

    bonlow87 , Daniel Martinez/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    Brazen
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was the caretaker of a small-ish apartment block, my neighbor across the hall was like this. I had no idea when I rented the apartment to her, but found out in the most horrific way later. One night she got into a fight with her bf because he tried to SA a 17 year old in the building and she stabbed him. When I called the police, they were the ones that told me about her background. She was on number 5, still drinking and doing d***s....no wonder they were taken from her.

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    #6

    Young woman gazing thoughtfully out a window, hand on chin, reflecting on maternity stories in a cozy setting. When I was in nursing school a 11 year old girl delivered a 9 pound baby, this was before epidurals, she had no idea how she got pregnant, the boys used to “play doctor with her”.

    Impressive_Age1362 , Jayson Hinrichsen/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    We also asked Dr. Reed what some of the most challenging aspects of being a midwife were. "The lack of time available to spend time with women and support them to recover from birth and care for their baby," she shared. "The demands of the institution to move women through the hospital and out as quickly as possible."

    #7

    Woman appearing stressed, running hand through her hair, reflecting intense parenting challenges. Not an employee of a maternity ward but, I have a cousin who is a [user]. She's just had her 5th child. Every time she has a baby, it gets taken away from her and she literally has another one on purpose hoping she can keep that one. She's incredibly lucky that her parents (my uncle and aunt) have taken in all of her children so they can be together, but they are about 70 years old and have already raised 5 kids of their own. I actually hate my cousin for doing this to them. .

    AriasK , Daniel Martinez/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    RP
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe it's time the cousin got some help. There's an underlying issue here she's trying to deal with using d***s and having babies. Those are symptoms. I'd bet my bottom dollar there's trauma at the root of it

    Chewie
    Community Member
    4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was definitely my cousins on my mom's side. Kept having babies because of what the state would pay them. So sad.

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    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not forced, but in Boston some years back there was a wealthy woman who offered $500 plus the procedure paid for to any current addict. ACLU tried to block, but since she was just offering not forcing it didn't go anywhere. Coincidentally Boston saw a sharp drop in the number of d**g addicted babies born.

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    Stephanie Did It
    Community Member
    2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother was the opposite: Seven children, and she threw every one away. Two were found in a locked public bathroom, one was shaken and removed, two given up at birth, two dropped off at an orphanage as pre-teens. They didn't have CPS in the 1950-60s. A psych evaluation concluded that she knew right from wrong, but she simply didn't care.

    Curbz81
    Community Member
    3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I told my user cousin i would give her $1000 if she got an iud. She seriously was considering it then went MIA.

    Electric Mayhem
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The censored phrase in this comment is "meth addict". Just say it BP, "user" isn't any better.

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    #8

    Maternity employee sitting on floor, looking exhausted in a hospital setting. OB nurse. Honestly, I’ve only seen two and both had been previously convicted of non-accidental traumatic injury to their infants, one of which resulted in death.

    I think the only people who shouldn’t be parents are folks who don’t want kids or want to harm kids. Interestingly enough, that’s not always apparent until years later when kiddo isn’t a cute baby anymore.

    I’ve taken care of lots of parents with substance use issues. Lots of them would never want to hurt their baby. They beat themselves up knowing that their addiction resulted in pain for their child. And lots of folks literally don’t know that their actions can harm the baby. Poor health literacy is very real.

    lizzzdee , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    b9cjc4fdfb
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a very compassionate take! This person chose the right profession.

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    #9

    Two women sitting on a couch, appearing distressed, possibly discussing maternity-related issues. I mean it’s not uncommon for a woman (who doesn’t have custody of her other 3+ kids due to d***s) to get pregnant, while still doing those same d***s, and once again not get custody of the new baby. But also like refuse to go on any long term form of birth control like an IUD that would let them do d***s in peace without making more babies. Infinitely baffling to me. If you’d prefer to do [substances] over everything else and pregnancy is unwanted, why not take steps to not get pregnant?

    Obstetrix , Ben White/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    Nikole
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not wanting to feel alone? I obviously have no idea, but it seems like some kind of attachment disorder.

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    Dr. Reed also says it's not the job of a health care provider to judge parents. "It is their job to support them," she explained.

    "In relation to the Reddit thread – care providers have legal responsibilities relating to child safety reporting," she added. "This is not about judging parents; it is about the safety of the baby."

    #10

    Newborn in an incubator at a maternity ward, wearing a diaper and monitoring devices. When my son was in the NICU the mom of the baby next to him would barge in, turn on the overhead lights (which were only supposed to be on for procedures) and knock on her baby’s incubator to wake them up.

    Faeidal , Alexander Grey/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    Nikole
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No doubt her caring and intelligent nature will continue throughout that child’s life… However long it may be.

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    #11

    Baby's hand resting on a soft knitted blanket, emphasizing the innocence in maternity contexts. Paramedic here. I used to occasionally do Interfacility Transports with a NICU team (nurse practitioner, RN, and myself in the back-though they do most then heavy lifting) and so many opiod addicted newborns. I remember the first time i had to calculate a f***anyl drip for a 6lbs baby so he didn't go into withdrawals.

    Can't get clean for the pregnancy, but also refuse to do anything to prevent pregnancy. It's heartbreaking.

    Aderyn_Sly , Hans Isaacson/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #12

    Newborn baby wrapped in a brown blanket, lying on a cozy pillow. I know a couple who were foster carers. Roughly every year they'd get a newborn from a couple who were both on the sex offenders' register. They kept getting pregnant despite knowing that the baby would be removed by social services almost immediately.

    mronion82 , Mindy Olson P/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    HardBoiledBlonde
    Community Member
    4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unpopular opinion, but if one is a convicted sexual assaulter, rapist really, of children or teens then they should never, NEVER, be permitted to breed, they should have absolutely no access to more potential victims. However, let them choose from the various methods that prohibit breeding but choose one they must. I spent decades helping victims, all ages, of these crimes against humanity trying to cobble together personhood and lives worth living. Many were so profoundly damaged they could not. Many became offenders themselves not understanding the why. The cycle Must stop.

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    So what should parents know before entering the maternity ward? "Their legal rights regarding consent and to know that care providers are often following policies and protocols that may not fit their individual needs," Dr. Reed says.

    #13

    30 Maternity Ward Workers Share The Worst Cases Of “You Shouldn’t Be A Parent” They’ve Ever Seen Well, I was a CPS social worker, but this story took place in a maternity ward. An addict mother had stayed off [substances] for a few days because she was scared of testing positive while birthing her baby. Gave birth, baby's father/boyfriend snuck some [stuff] in to her while still in the hospital, she nodded off and dropped the newborn out of her arms and onto the floor. Thankfully the little girl was ok in the end. A little bruised and some withdrawal symptoms, as well as small for her age, but I kept track of her until she was 6 or 7 and she was thriving. Her parents refused rehab or doing anything, so she was adopted very early by a great family.

    HealthySchedule2641 , bady abbas/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #14

    Woman resting in bed by a window, maternity setting. I am not an employee of a maternity ward, but I did see something awful when I went to go visit my friend after she had her baby.

    Her husband was just sitting in the corner of the room playing on his switch while she is recovering from hemorrhaging and almost dying, and trying to figure out how to take care of a baby.

    Things got so bad they had to resuscitate her, so when we got there a few days later, she was still looking horrible.

    When she was changing his diaper, I could tell she had never changed a baby’s diaper before, let alone a boys diaper.

    I tried to warn her about how boys can pee, but it was too late, and the baby peed all over her.

    My husband and I are trying to help her out and get a nurse to come get her changed, and her husband is still sitting in the corner playing on his switch and ignoring everything.

    When the nurse got in there, my friend eventually snapped and yelled at her husband to help her. Me and my husband and the nurse just awkwardly looked at each other.

    I can’t imagine how many times nurses have to see situations like that. It would p**s me off so bad.

    littlemybb , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    Beak Hookage
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I bet that guy was *totally shocked* when she kicked him out with divorce papers stapled to his backside.

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    #15

    Hospital maternity reception area with blue signage and bright lighting. Not an employee, but a parent.

    January of this year, my child had to be lifelined to a specialised children's hospital. While we were there in the PICU, a young baby (6 months old, I believe) arrived and was placed in the private room next to ours. Didn't think anything of it at first but then noticed all the police. CID was there the whole nine yards. The parents weren't allowed in the room unsupervised at all.

    After a day, we heard a commotion from one of the other side rooms, and it was the mother getting irate over being questioned when she did nothing wrong. Later on, it's the same thing but with the dad. The next day, a woman turned up with two other children. They were this baby's Auntie and siblings. Let's say they didn't keep their private conversation very private, and everyone in there found out why that little baby was there. The baby had several fractures and breaks. Two days later, both parents were escorted out of the hospital in handcuffs.

    Read a newspaper article a few days after that the other two children were placed into foster care. They had medical histories of "accidents," too.

    Those two people should never have been parents!

    sparkle_unicorn_14 , Martha Dominguez de Gouveia/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    Linda Lee
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was one of those kids that ended up in the hospital because of "accidents". I'm so glad that there are laws to protect children now.

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    Dr. Reed added that we still have a long way to go in improving maternity wards. "Maternity systems were not set up to support the individual needs of mothers and babies. They were set up to support the needs of the institutions," she explained. "One-third of women leave their birth experience traumatized. We need care that better supports women and new families, rather than pointing the finger at a minority of parents."

    #16

    Person enjoying a dimly lit party, gentle lighting highlighting their profile amid a lively crowd. Not really the gist of the question but at a house party a gal who was so drunk she couldn’t stand up and nearly burnt holes in the furniture with her smokes and bong announced, in a comically loud stage whisper, that she was a few months pregnant but not to worry because she’d already scheduled an abortion.

    The entire room heaved a sigh of relief, given she’d already had four other children seized by the state. Then someone asked why she didn’t just use birth control. Her answer? “You can’t prove that stuff works and also I’m not going to pollute my body with hormones.”

    Wow.

    I feel sorry for her remaining eggs.

    UsesATossawayAccount , peter bucks/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    Beak Hookage
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honey, with the way you indulge I don't think you're in any position to be getting self-righteous about "polluting your body".

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    #17

    Tired woman sitting on a bed, wrapped in a blanket, illustrating maternity employee stress stories. Not who you're asking but my husband's mother was 40, morbidly obese, an alcoholic, and barely not homeless. She had miscarriage after miscarriage and was found to have a uterine tumor the size of a football but she begged them to let her keep at least one ovary so she could keep trying to have a baby even though he would 100% for sure be very preterm because she didn't have enough uterus for him to grow in. The guy who finally gave her that preterm baby was someone she met in a bar that God told her would give her a baby. They were told my husband had an extremely high chance of never walking, talking, or learning to use the bathroom but that was okay because his mom really wanted a baby. Even if he was basically a baby forever. Looking at the photos, I find it hard to believe the people who brought the apnea monitor and other medical equipment didn't have an issue with how cramped or cluttered the room was. The only reason my mother-in-law ever even got this house (that's 100% my husband's now as it should be) is because of some program for low-income mothers of high-risk infants. Thankfully the doctors were wrong about my husband being disabled, unfortunately that means my MIL's religion was proven right in her eyes.

    ScreamingLightspeed , Valeriia Miller/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #18

    Maternity employee looking stressed, sitting in a hospital waiting area. My daughter had a bunch of medical problems as a baby and was hospitalized at 4 days old and we were on the paediatrics floor, her chart read failure to thrive ( she was loosing weight despite having an ng tube and her blood pressure kept dropping g randomly). Every shift change a nurse would happily burst in the room and was shocked a parent was there. After the third day I asked and they explained that failure to thrive almost always meant the parents were not caring for the baby. So the assigned nurse knew they would have a great shift of cuddling a baby (because they know that cuddled babies thrive better). It made me sad to realize that people would leave their kids for days, even weeks because they didn’t want to be there. I can understand if they have to work, or only single and have other children. The nurse’s explained this was not often the case.

    k2p1e , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #19

    Newborn baby in a hospital incubator, illustrating stories from maternity employees. Not a medical professional but my baby was born premature and spent a little over a month in the NICU. It was the hardest thing I've ever experienced. My wife and I were fortunate enough to be able to do shifts and care for our little guy almost around the clock. The baby next to us was born the same day as our son and looked to have a similar experience with needing a ventilator and oxygen. To my knowledge, not once in those 34 days did he have a visitor or anyone to hold him and comfort him besides the excellent nurses there. I think about that baby a lot and I really hope he graduated and found a home with people who will love him a great deal.

    bonebag99 , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    Bay Bo
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's give a round of applause for those beautiful loving caring nurses everywhere 💕💕. Ty so much for being there for helpless babies

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    #20

    30 Maternity Ward Workers Share The Worst Cases Of “You Shouldn’t Be A Parent” They’ve Ever Seen Not an employee but a good friend of mine has adopted two babies from the foster system who are half siblings (no idea who the dads are but they have the same mom). The mom is in her 30’s and has had 9 babies now. Shes a sex worker and d**g addict but whenever she finds out she’s pregnant she does something to go to jail where she gets clean and gives birth. Last baby she had him alone in her cell and just left him on the floor while she went back to bed. Thankfully guards found him before he froze to death. He’s the most gorgeous 3 year old now. They know where 5 of the 9 siblings (all adopted) are and keep them in touch with one another.

    mermaidsgrave86 , Toa Heftiba/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    My O My
    Community Member
    5 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good on the mom to at least makes sure her babies have a chance by this "practic" (going to jail I mean)

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    #21

    30 Maternity Ward Workers Share The Worst Cases Of “You Shouldn’t Be A Parent” They’ve Ever Seen Not a medical professional, but my folks own a group home that specializes in caring for medically complex young children who require 24hr nurse care. Most of their kids have been wards of the state. Aside from the terribly sad d**g situations others have posted about (they commonly get kids who have issues due to d***s during pregnancy), one case that stands out to me is a woman who apparently drank bleach regularly throughout her pregnancy hoping her kid would turn out blonde. Ruined the baby’s brain and caused a lot of other serious medical issues.

    CurvyCarrots , Tim Mossholder/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    Heir of Durin
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How in the world did the mother survive drinking bleach the entire pregnancy???

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    #22

    Maternity employee in blue scrubs with a stethoscope, showcasing a tattooed arm. I was a (male) registered nurse for 21 years, specializing in adolescent and children's psychiatric care. When I was in nursing school I was *very* fortunate to have gotten to observe and/or participate in six births. (My preceptor, a female L&D RN, was determined that male nursing students should get the same OB/GYN nursing rotation experience as the female students.)

    One birth I attended was a 16-year-old mother who was infected with genital condyloma accuminata warts and herpes in the vagina and birth canal. The MD had decided to do a cesarian section because of the danger to the baby. The father was an 18-year-old member of the Bloods gang, who showed up in full gang regalia, all red, hat turned sideways, tons of gold jewelry, etc. My job was to get the father ready to go into the operating room to accompany the mother during the C-section. It was a struggle convincing him to disrobe out of all that gang stuff and put on scrubs. (It didn't help that the scrubs were blue, the color of his gang rivals, the Crips.) Eventually we got him there, and to his credit he didn't pass out and he held her hand and talked to her during the procedure. (She was awake, but sedated. The MD used a caudal block--spinal anesthesia.) The best moment for me was when the neo-natal nurse handed the gangbanger his son after the APGAR scores and all that. I thought to myself, "This guy's gangbangin' days are *over.* He's a Daddy now. He's got more important s**t to do."

    I really, really hope the two of them got their s**t together, for the baby's sake.

    K-Bar1950 , JSB Co./Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #23

    A mother holding her child in a dimly lit room, reflecting on parenting challenges. I was on a L&D unit as a student nurse. We had a young mother in who had just given birth to her second child. The mother refused to stop smoking Mari***na for her whole pregnancy as she didn't feel that there was enough evidence to say that it was harmful to the baby (her child was born early, underweight and with other illnesses that will follow them through life). She couldn't go more than 2 hours without going outside to smoke a joint, even if that meant leaving the baby alone in the room (refused to tell nursing staff when she was stepping out), or with her young cousin who did not know how to hold a baby, and almost let the baby aspirate on its own vomit. We had to increase her room checks to every 20 minutes out of fear for the infants safety. The cherry on top is that while all this was going on, her first child was down the hall on the peds unit for juvenile diabetes management. She had already chosen to let her first kid stay full time with his father as she didn't feel like she could care for him until she 'got her s**t together'. She didn't visit her son, not even once even though he was maybe 30 feet away.

    There are far, far worse cases out there to be sure. I just can't help but wonder how both of those kids are now.

    2Shoes_99 , Jenna Norman/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #24

    Pregnant woman in a yellow dress standing outside, gently holding her belly, relating to maternity stories. I once had an 10th grade student who was pregnant with her third child. It was horrible. I felt so bad for her. All three babies were with the worst guy ever. He was so mean. (I had him in class, too.).

    IncomeLeather7166 , Brooke Cagle/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #25

    30 Maternity Ward Workers Share The Worst Cases Of “You Shouldn’t Be A Parent” They’ve Ever Seen I don't work in L & D, but both my living kids spent some time in NICU. The saddest thing to me was how few visitors there were in the NICU each time we went. It's a 50-bed NICU and often we were the only ones there.

    The first time I visited my youngest baby, when I was still inpatient, I didn't talk to anyone in the unit about it. I tried to walk out to the elevator in my hospital gown. I knew where the NICU was already. The lady at the desk yelled at me to come back and made me put my name down. I said "I'm just going to see my baby" and she said they had to keep track of moms coming and going bc they had had moms just leave and never come back, abandoning their babies. 😭.

    HighwaySetara , Omar Lopez/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #26

    Person with short white hair looks thoughtful, illustrating maternity employee insights. I worked in an abortion clinic in the 90's and I remember a young woman who couldn't stay sober long enough to have the abortion she wanted. Fetal alcohol syndrome is more serious than people know. Sad.

    CherryBombO_O , Marco Lastella/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    Ozymandias
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor lady. I hope her and her baby (if she kept it or if she didn't) are living long, happy, sober lives!

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    #27

    A crying baby held by a woman in a white shirt, illustrating a maternity story. When I was a student I overheard some midwives talking about some new parents. They fed the baby at 3pm and then said “we don’t need to feed it again until tomorrow, right?” The midwives were shocked and were like “oh my sweet summer child… you’re in for a shock, aren’t you?”.

    Tapestry-of-Life , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    Heir of Durin
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m glad they asked the nurses while they could and didn’t starve the poor baby at home.

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    #28

    30 Maternity Ward Workers Share The Worst Cases Of “You Shouldn’t Be A Parent” They’ve Ever Seen Not the worst of the worst, but I was caring for a new mom who was planning to breastfeed. I offered to help her get the baby (only an hour or 2 old at this point) latched to try to feed. Mom said, “no thanks I think I’ll start tomorrow so I can rest today.” I asked her if she wanted a bottle to feed to baby for now and she declined, saying she only wanted her baby to be breastfed by her. I had to explain to her that the baby couldn’t wait until tomorrow to be fed and she seemed genuinely surprised, like she could not wrap her head around the fact that the baby needed to be fed earlier than when she decides she’s ready? Again, not the worst by any means but left me a little nervous for the baby.

    Another time, I had a couple come in to have their first baby together. They each had kids from previous relationships but did not have custody of any of them, something they made sure we all knew. They kept saying that they were “gonna do it right this time!” Dad was excited to have 2 days of paternity leave from his job at Arby’s and mom was unemployed. They reeked of cigarettes and mom had tested positive for d***s and baby went straight to NICU for detox, so social services was already involved before they even left the hospital. I genuinely worried for that baby.

    Had a mom with several kids come in to deliver another one. She had a CPS case open but had been evading the courts. We had a case worker waiting on the unit for her on the day of her induction to take her current kids away and eventually take her newborn after delivery.

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    #29

    Person holding a newborn, illustrating challenges in parenting discussed by maternity employees. I volunteer in a NICU. Recently a "dad" who refused to be on the birth certificate started arguing and being a d**k. The baby was sleeping and he woke it up. The nurse said he handled baby roughly. They ended up having to ban him from the NICU. Cps was involved already and hopefully they continue to be.

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    Bay Bo
    Community Member
    4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope this baby has a wonderful life, n never has to deal w that BS again

    #30

    30 Maternity Ward Workers Share The Worst Cases Of “You Shouldn’t Be A Parent” They’ve Ever Seen I have had two different patients this year who showed while still in the hospital that they shouldn't have had their babies. Both of them threw fits that they were too tired to feed/take care of their babies and the nurses should. One asked what the nurses were there for if not to take care of the baby, because she didn't want to. The other one said she was too tired and didn't want to feed the baby. That one came to the ER at least once in the months after the baby arrived to say she was too tired to take care of the baby and they should watch him like they're a daycare center (and also recently needed a pregnancy test because she thought she might be pregnant again).

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    #31

    Close-up of a hospital IV drip in a maternity ward setting. In my L& D/Postpartum rotation as a student nurse (20+ years ago) I took care of a 13 year old girl who had given birth to a premature baby & the baby had some serious medical problems so was transferred to the children's hospital right next door. I worked nights so I was able to wheel the teenage mom over to see her baby. The teenage mom was in the custody of the state living in a group home & had gotten pregnant from a teenage boy in the group home. So the baby was a ward of the state & custody of the child was in question.

    Her Mom (the baby's grandma) came to visit (I needed to stay in the room because it was a supervised visit), and it was both heartbreaking & terrifying to hear the Mom/Grandma go on about how the Judge would give the preemie to her because she was blood related.

    Some of the teenage mom's friends came to visit her and they were all talking about how fun it would be to dress the baby up & play with it. They were acting like you would expect most 13 & 14 y/o's with minimal experience in the reality of caring for a baby (let alone a preemie).

    While I couldn't say anything to the family,I had some thoughts & feelings about this.

    *Ummm Grandma ALL of your children are in states custody because of medical neglect & your continued alcohol abuse. No judge is going to give you custody of a preemie with major medical problems that will persist for the child's whole life.

    *Ummm Mom your child is not a toy doll. Your child will live in a NICU for MONTHS & when the baby does come home it will need around the clock care for the rest of his life. No judge is going to give custody of this child to a 14 year old who is living in a group home.

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    #33

    Crying baby in blue pajamas lying on a bed, holding a parent's hand gently. I worked in mother baby for over 10 years. I saw many questionable parents. D**g users that were high, no prenatal care. Parents that would curse at their newborn and tell the baby to shut up. Women with mental health disorders that were at the time dangerous to their child. A mother fighting with her baby daddy that was throwing things (food tray and such) across the room at him… with the baby in the midst.
    Another thing I hated to see were parents telling people not to hold their newborn bc it would spoil the baby.
    Once had parents leave a newborn alone in the room to go outside and smoke/do d***s.
    Had parents threaten to sue us bc we made their baby a birth certificate.
    Had a young mom with 4 kids 3 and under. When it was time to go home she stuck all the children in a car backseat, only the newborn had a car seat.

    Sometimes the police would be waiting outside at discharge if one of the parents had a warrant out for arrest.

    Lots of sad situations.

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    #34

    Woman came in and gave birth to her 9th child. All other children already in care. Awaiting the meeting with social services etc. she decides to leave the baby unattended so she can go and smoke a joint with her new boyfriend (not the father). Didn’t tell any staff that she was leaving, and they only realised he was alone when they went in to check why he was crying and if mum needed assistance. She was obviously not there so security was called, they found her outside getting high and she had the audacity to tell the staff that they were ‘making a fuss’ and should have just left the baby to cry.

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    #35

    Maternity employee in scrubs checks a patient's pulse, showcasing a healthcare scene. Family medicine clinic here, we had a woman from out of town bring her 5 year old in. Kids healthy enough, but the both STINK to high heaven. Like the smell lingered in the exam room after they left, for *hours*. Mom's feet and clothes are filthy. Turns out mom also needed medical care, because she was pregnant and had been having some vaginal bleeding. Mom has had TWO miscaraiges in the last year, has had no prenatal care, already has 5 kids (only one or two with her) and is living in a old camping trailer with boyfriend and kids. Boyfriend made her come to the doctor because of the bleeding, she didn't think it was a big deal! She was supposed to come in for a follow up but they left town the next week. They were travelling in the trailer and "wanted to let the kids decide where they stayed". I hope she's okay but I'm doubtful.

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    #36

    Woman holding baby near trailer under cloudy sky, highlighting maternity challenges. Age gaps age gaps age gaps. It's always some couple, that's related, uneducated, living in a cramped trailer or apartment with like 5 other people. Always overweight, on d***s, etc. and they're shocked when they have loads of complications.

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    Regina Holt
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uncle, I think intervention and education would be a more humane respectful way to go. You recommend eugenics, but that is along the same line as the rightwing christian conservatives going in the opposite direction and forcing women to have babies against their will by denying abortions.

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    #37

    My worst one was a consultation with a women who had her daughters taken away because their dad (biological) was sexually abusing them. She had 7 or 8 kids, I can’t remember and was pregnant again. There were so many issues, housing wasn’t good enough because of mold, small house, both were doing d***s and drinking. No family support, neither worked. Her toddler son was dirty, nappy looked heavy, no shoes on and he had to walk. I never felt like shaking a patient before, at the time I was struggling to get pregnant and it just broke my heart knowing my foster child could have experienced some of this.

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    My O My
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How come they only took the daughters away?? Clearly the father isn't fit of being a parent at all

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    #38

    Not a nurse, but a former HS classmate of mine who joined the military to “shoot Muslims” and has incredibly misogynistic views against women, had a baby girl at 19 with a woman he knew for a month of two before his kid’s conception. I have him friended on Discord and see that he spends 4+ hours a day f*****g around with video games instead of helping his newlywed wife and barely three month old daughter.

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    #39

    Open elevator doors in a dimly lit hallway, relevant to maternity employee stories. A patient in labor was brought it to the hospital by her boyfriend because her water broke. The patient and the boyfriend both had a panic attack when we told them that they had to take an elevator up to the second floor because that's where our labor and delivery ward was. It turns out both of them are deathly afraid of heights/being off the ground floor. It took HOURS to convince the couple that they needed to come up to the second floor of the hospital so she could deliver her child.

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    RP
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not sure this should preclude them from being parents in they were otherwise stable. As long as the kid gets to go to daycare and school

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    #40

    My sister works in labor and delivery, so I'll give you an answer nobody wants to hear: people with down syndrome. They can't raise children and scream when their babies are taken away because they think they can. "They're taking my baby!" It's haunting and sad. It really makes you look at those "how cute, these two down syndrome people are going to prom together" pictures differently.

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    Elladine DesIsles
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a wide range of impacts individuals with Down syndrome may experience/exhibit, and some are able to navigate life much more independently than others. Family circumstances and supports would also make a huge difference in terms of whether a baby would need to be fully separated from the parent(s) or would be able to remain in a circle of family care in some form. I've known a few individuals with Down syndrome who would never be able to manage parenting in any form, but that is certainly not universal. I also know a child who is being happily raised in a home with his grandparents and his father, who has significant develiopmental disability (not Down syndrome, but a similar level of cognitive ability and maturity to the more severe end of that range.) Generalizing by diagnosis instead of evaluating needs on a case-by-case basis isn't helpful.

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