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“Wish I Was Kidding”: 50 Hilariously Unfortunate Names That Were Actually Given To Babies
Interview
I can’t imagine the pressure that parents feel when naming their children. Finding a name that has a positive connotation, that both parents love and that, ideally, won’t leave their child being one of 10 Sarahs in their kindergarten class can feel like an impossible task.
But when in doubt, go for something classic. If you find yourself resorting to the name of your favorite Transformer or Pokémon, you might be better suited for having a pet, not a child.
Redditors have recently been sharing the worst names they’ve ever heard for children, so we’ve gathered some of the most atrocious ones below. Please don’t take any inspiration from this list when naming your own kids, pandas, and be sure to upvote the names that you hope aren’t actually on birth certificates!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
3 sisters named Precious, Pleasure, and Desirees Cox. I’m not even kidding I wish I was….
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 8 months ago (edited)
Did their parents want the daughters to work in the adult entertainment industry?
RELATED:
#2
Labia.
No. I am not joking. Pronounced La'-beeuh. Poor sod.
flower petals 8 months ago
That’s a lifetime of mockery coming for that poor person.. If we have driving licenses before we’re allowed to drive, people should be tested before they’re allowed to breed 😂
#3
I work at a school... We have a Khaleesi, a Goku, a M'King, Carr'money and a Sir. Parents these days are absolutely as insane as you think.
T'Mar of Vulcan 8 months ago (edited)
So do I... But at least here the 'odd' seeming names are due to parents using names that either remind them of something or it's something they want for their kids. Precious, Passion, Fidelity, Happy, etc. Taught three siblings whose names were Regomoditswe Isis (she went by Isis), Mosa Osiris (went by Mosa) and Phumza Cleopatra (went by Phumza). Their mother was obsessed with Egypt, obviously. Taught a girl named Jihad. Asked if I could call her Crusade. Her father wasn't amused, since 'jihad' actually means 'struggle'. I currently have a girl in my class named Amazing. Yes, people call her every synonym for it under the sun. She answers to them all.
To learn more about how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Inky-Skies, who posed the question, "What's the worst name you've known to actually be given to a child?"
She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share that the thread was inspired by a conversation she had with her boyfriend about silly names. "He just moved from the US to Germany to live with me, and I explained how the law can intervene here if parents try to give their kids very outrageous or insulting/illegal names," the OP explained.
"We read a list of silly names online, and I was curious to see if people on Reddit knew someone who gave such names to their kids IRL," she continued. "I certainly didn't expect the post to blow up the way it did!"
#4
I worked with somebody whose first and middle names were Tequila Sunrise
She said her mom named her that because that's how she was conceived.
#5
Went to school with a kid who had a full beard, was 6ft4 and wide as a fridge. His name?
Angel Darling.
#6
My mom was a 1st grade schoolteacher in a very rural southern area. She once had a kid named Orgasm.
I…had no words.
Because outrageous names are banned in Germany, the OP says she doesn't personally know anyone who's named their child something that could end up on this list. "But sometimes people will have unusual or weirdly spelled names - my own name, Riccarda, might fall into that category," she shared.
"And of course, certain names are stigmatized but legal; the female name Chantal (unfortunately my middle name, from before it became stigmatized) or the male name Kevin are examples of that here," Inky-Skies added.
#7
Went to school with a girl named Shtanya. She once said something really horrible to me so I told me mom who said "Who told you this? What? You're gonna get s**t talked by someone named 'S**t on you'? Tell her to get bent."
Next time she mouthed off I let the one fly. She never recovered.
#8
Siblings: Brodeo Rodeo and Justa Cowgirl.
#9
Former mailman here. The name that takes the cake is Marijuana Whiskey.
Immediate_Revenue_90:
There is a college professor named Marijuana Pepsi
We also asked Inky-Skies what she believes are the most important factors parents should consider when choosing names for their kids. "To choose a name that won't provoke bullying or otherwise negatively affect the child's life," she told Bored Panda.
"I think a lot of parents want the name to be funny or unique when choosing such a name, or consider it witty - but they forget that they're naming a person, not a character or pet," the OP says. "That person will one day grow up and apply for jobs with their name, have their own social circle and personality. It's unfair to burden someone with a name that will ridicule them or turn them into a social outcast. That should go above the parents' need to express themselves."
#10
I read about a child whose mother named her Treblinka.
When asked why, the mother said "Because it's so pretty!" She didn't care about the history of that name at all.
(For those NITK, it's the name of one of the Nazi death camps during WWII.).
#11
Per freakonomics there was a family in which the dad named kid number 7 "winner". Kid number 8 was named "loser".
Loser is a successful lawyer as of my last read, pronounces it lou-sier.
#12
A girl in juvie court - I’m guessing at the spelling, so I’m writing it as it was pronounced- Loukeemia. I kid you not. I nearly died.
As far as what Inky-Skies thought of the responses to her post, she says, "I did read through most of them, although after the first thousand or so, it was hard to keep track of them all!"
"One of the funniest I saw was 'Mnop,' pronounced Noël - because 'no L,'" she shared. "Another parent apparently named their child 'Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze' - the full name of the anime character - as a first name. A few more: 'Sexybeth,' 'Placenta' ('because it sounds like a flower'), 'Goldfish,' and 'WiFi.'"
#13
Ta'Lighta. Her last name was Kandle. I don't know what her mother was thinking.
Cecilia Herrera 8 months ago (edited)
" I don't know what her mother was thinking." That her daughter would someday be the light in the darkness.
#14
I knew a family that named their daughters Today, Tomara, and Ta'yestaday. Wish I was kidding.
#15
My best friend grew up with a guy whose legal name was *actually* "Lunchbox." LUNCHBOX!!!! And his younger brother's name was "Thermos".
Just-A-Black-Cat-Lover 8 months ago
Hey, Lunchbox, don't forgot to bring Thermos along with you; don't forget him again!
Finally, the OP added that she's "very happy that really insulting names aren't allowed in [her] country, because in the end, it's the child's dignity that's at stake."
"Parents shouldn't be given free reign if their goal is to dehumanize their children," she says.
#16
I did security clearance back ground checks in the Army and ran across a soldier who's name was Captain Richard Gaylord. He went by D**k or Cap, but preferred D**k.
** I am editing to make it clear that his parents named him Captain Richard. He was a Sgt in the army.
#17
My mom worked in a nicu. Someone named their daughter Chlamydia… because it’s sounds pretty… the social worker talked them into changing it thankfully
There was also: Jellyanus (pronounced helli-ah-nas), More Money, Super Royal, Love Godess, Pajama (paj-ahma), Gary’en and Gary’on, Shaniya & Shanijah, Rowdy, Sir, Heavensentmyblessin’.
Cat Dragon 8 months ago
I've seen a Cash Money (or maybe it was spelled "monay") and I remembered a post waay back when on BP about bad brides/bridesmaids/wedding in general and in one of them the bride would say for richer or richer instead of richer or poorer. We found her kid guys
#18
Placenta, I guess they heard it in the hospital and liked the sound.
Katie Lutesinger 8 months ago
Reminds me of that one episode of Kath and Kim. "I heard some good names at the hospital, like what about Kardio Enfarktion?" "God no, then you'd get 'Farked' for short!"
#19
I briefly worked with a lady who's given name was Bunny. She worked for the Army Corps of Engineers and was terrifyingly stern - no smiling, no jokes, no funny business. Most inaptly named person I have ever met, unless her parents were into Watership Down or something.
Elladine DesIsles 8 months ago
When I was growing up, there were two teachers at my school who were sisters. One was Bunny, and the other was Kitty.
#20
LaDynasty = I remember many substitute teachers mispronouncing it Lady Nasty.
#21
I have a neighbor called Batman. I think it's dope but I couldn't call my child that.
#22
When I was working at a restaurant, a guy gave me a credit card to pay and I wouldn’t have believed it had I not seen it. His name: Alpha Gay.
#23
Pubert.
That's it.
Pubert Smith.
#24
I booked in a woman who’s name was Clitoris.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 8 months ago
She was great at hide and seek. Men could never find her.
#25
Banjoman. He went by Bo.
It was pronounced "Banjamen". So I assumed his parents were too redneck and uneducated to know how "Benjamin" was spelled.
Lavern Defazio 8 months ago (edited)
Well if they were rednecks then banjomen sounds bout right.
#26
This isn’t the worst name, it’s actually very common. But I went to high school with a girl named Casey Diaz. I didn’t make the connection until my friend just chuckled and said, ‘quesadillas, hahaha’.
The Original Bruno 8 months ago
I like this one. A little cheesy, a little spicy, but mild enough to not be cruel.
#27
I had a colleague whose brother named their baby son Dude. She was distraught and pretty disgusted 😬.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 8 months ago (edited)
The Dude abides. Nice rug, it really ties the room together.
#28
My son played soccer with a kid named Anaconda.
We had a customer at work who was a male named Sarah, and another customer (whose family was not American) named Mahboob.
Just-A-Black-Cat-Lover 8 months ago
{**inner fifth grader in me trying not to burst out laughing**}
#29
Heard about an airline being sued because the attendants were making fun of a child passenger's name which is, I s**t you not, Abcde. Like of course your child is going to be bullied for a fuck*ss name like that.
#30
I once met a kid named "WiFi." Yep, you heard that right. I guess their parents wanted them to be constantly connected...to their name!
Just-A-Black-Cat-Lover 8 months ago
Imagine this in school: 'Hey, the WiFi's out!' WiFi: Huh? me? 'Yeah, now!' *punch*
#31
I worked with someone who met a kid named Meconium (yes, as in baby's first poop).
#32
My dad's assistant named her daughter Slanina which essentially means "pig fat" in Romanian. She even pronounced it the same way as the word is pronounced in Romanian: sluh-ni-nuh.
Rachel Pelz 8 months ago
That is cruel. At least not recognisable for non-Romanian speaking people.
#33
When I was a teenager I worked with a guy named Jack Hoff. As a teacher I had students in the same class named Rusty Buzzoff and Carmen Butts. I also had a student who’s 15 year old sister had a baby girl and named her Pebbles Champagne.
Haleprincess 8 months ago
There should be a test people have to pass in order to be given the powers of procreation. Some of these are their own special brand of stupid. Those poor kids.
#35
I don't work in the porn/stripper industry but I've had a customer named Misty Butts and another named Krystal Power.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
Parents, if you want to name your kid Crystal, PLEASE spell it normally. XD
Noproblem 8 months ago
I knew a lady named Crystal Snow; she married a man surnamed White & then became Crystal Snow-White.
Mavis 8 months ago
There's an American swimmer named Misty Hyman. She won a gold medal at the Sydney Olympics.
Robert T 8 months ago
There's also a German Alpine skier called F***y Chmelar. Bradley Walsh nearly wet himself when he had to ask that question on a The Chase (UK quiz show).
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
XD I had a math tutor when I was a kid who LOVED to quip “Is that crystal-clear, Crystal?” (My name is Crystal.) I’ve heard variations on the “lol u must be a stripper” comment all my life as well XD
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Performingyak 8 months ago
I went to school with Wayne Kerr and a dude at another school in the region was Dwayne Pipe.
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Greg Hedley 8 months ago
A criminal has just been busted for possession/dealing d***s. Her name and I kid you not, is Crystal Methvin
tresgatos72 7 months ago
I had a student once named Crystal Meth . Her siblings were: Mari Juana, Jack Daniel, and Johnny Walker. They were living with their aunt because of their mom's substance issues.
#36
I once met a kid named "Cyanide." I guess their parents were aiming for something unique, but they probably didn't realize it's also a deadly poison. Talk about starting life with a bang!
#37
Delicious.... and it was a guy... you will find many funny 'english' names in our part of the world... many many.
#38
I went to school with a girl named Princess. She was exactly what you'd expect from someone with that name.
#39
I went to school with a Richard Lycker. The jokes were endless.
Shine Chisholm (they/ them) 8 months ago
I knew both a Richard Roller and Richard Wacker growing up
#40
I knew a boy called Rambo he was 8 when the first movie came out. They changed his name within 6 months.
#41
V*gina. Pronounced VAJ-ah-na. The mother saw the word in print and thought it was nice.
The Original Bruno 8 months ago
The more formal name of a secret agent whose last name was "Galore."
#42
My mom knew a Harry Pitts in high school. I also work at a college and saw a student with the first name “Violence.”.
Katie Lutesinger 8 months ago
If I got stuck with a name like that I'd be choosing violence on a daily basis.
#43
Colon. Not Collin. It may not be weird name to some people, but all I can think of is the large intestine when I hear that name.
#44
Girl I know from college named her kid “Moatley” because she likes the idea of castle moats and the protection they provide. She’s now pregnant again, can’t wait to see what awful name the next kid is saddled with.
#45
I did a form in work today. The person's first name was Amazing-Grace.
#46
I am a retired teacher and I really know or knew these people and families and so, I cannot make my own comments, but you feel free!
1) Nosmoking (first thing Mom saw when she woke up)
2) Female (3 syllables, rhymes with tamale) (that’s what doctor wrote on her bracelet)
3) Asia
4) Barling (as in darling, just wanted something different)
5) Starfish
6) Rainbow
7) Sir, Mister
8) Knowing God
9) Prince, Princess, Queen, King, Duke
10) Bestie
11) Bictha
These are just the ones that come to mind quickly. There are many more creative ones. My stomach hurts now though.
Carl Roberts 8 months ago
Some of these aren't all that uncommon, such as Duke, Prince, and even Asia.
#47
I once knew a kid named "Fiasco." Yep, sounds like setting high expectations right from birth!
#48
This girl I knew, her legal name was Female. Her mother couldn’t pick a name and it was left as female. Once it was too late to change, it was all hell. Everyone called her Jackie cause that’s what she wanted but legally, her name is Female. We would always fun of her and pronounce it like the word Tamale. fem-all-ee. She hated it😭.
The Original Bruno 8 months ago
I knew a Mel when I was in first grade. I was a huge nerd. He told the class he was going to have a sister and his parents said he could suggest names. I suggested Femel. I thought it was funny. No-one else did. Did I mention I was a huge nerd?
#49
There was a girl from my brothers school called Closure.
#50
I had a kid in one of my classes named Forth. I don't get it.
What do you think ?
Ansi 8 months ago
So a joke from Reddit: A woman had a C-section and when she woke up she was told her brother had named her twins! She was horrified and bursted out: He's an idiot. What did he name them!? The doctor: He named the girl Denise. New mom: Okay, that was actually good. So what did he name the other one? The doctor: Denephew.
Melissa Harris 8 months ago
Some countries have rules about what you can legally name a child. Usually no military ranks or titles of royalty and nothing that could be considered 'ofensive'.
weatherwitch 8 months ago
Or in the case of many of these just ridiculous for the poor child!
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JkNuss 8 months ago
Am I the only who can't see the majority of the names - this doesn't happen in just a few posts but all the posts in multiple articles on this site - you can't read the type it's just missing
Annik Perrot 8 months ago
Happened to me when I first was here. I deleted the app and now I read straight from the Web site and see everything.
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Lydsylou (she/her) 8 months ago
Elon and Grimes 3 kids: xæa-xII, Exa dark sidræl, techno maximus. I fell so bad for these kids
- 8 months ago
Sid and Max could work in the school yard. No idea how to shorten xæa-xII.
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Trisec Tebeakesse 8 months ago
We went the other way. Our son is named Javier, with the common Spanish spelling. However, it's originally a Basque name, and the Basque spelling is Xabier, pronounced the same way. We both thought that would have been cool, but in the United States, he'd be "X-Avier", and we didn't want that.
The Original Bruno 8 months ago (edited)
Oh, no there's more. There was a New Hampshire congressman who was falsely named the winner of the senate race by the network exit poll consortium named Richard Swett. But he didn't go by Richard for some reason known only to God. A Republican who opposed gays in the military probably because he was named Richard Armey, but again, didn't go by Richard. And a Senate candidate in Virginia named Crystal Balls. Also, a naming convention for referencing bills is to refer to the chief House and Senate sponsor; the bill regulating the internet should have been known as the Dingle-Berry Act, but for some reason the media didn't call it that.
Lori T Wisconsin 8 months ago
Daughter attended high school with a girl named Sweet Peaches, and twins Chlorine & Florine!
Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 8 months ago
There used to be a missing poster at my DMV for a child named La'Treen..(felt doubly horrible for him) . also my sister taught a kid named Codeine .
Montanavanna 8 months ago
When I heard a friend's boyfriends name was Johnny John-john Johnson I thought he was full of s**t. Nope, that is for real his full name.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 8 months ago
George. The boxer George Foreman named all 5 of his sons (George Edward Foreman Jr, III, IV, V, VI)) and one of his seven daughters (Georgetta Edwina Foreman) after himself. I think George is fine for any other family but there's no way you grow up normal with 6 other people in your home with the exact same name.
KDS 8 months ago
I have a bit of advice for soon to be parents before you settle on a name yell that name out and if you still like it use it but if you don’t it might be a good idea to change it before the kid is born.
Mike F 8 months ago
It's comical that when we were too young to be in with the street lights, parents used to come on the porch steps and shout our names. Whenever I read things like this I think of those days and specifically the next door neighbor and what old John would sound like shouting this out in the neighborhood.
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Denise Melek 8 months ago (edited)
Do those people realize that they are naming humans, and not hamsters, boats or some random object?
Ada Hunter 8 months ago
as someone from utah, known for the weird names, i have some good ones. i worked in face painting so met a lot of little kids with the stereotypical utah moms. one girls name was Stalin. another girl, one of the sweetest girls i’ve ever met, her name was Rib. i also knew a girl in elementary school named Cleopatra, and her sisters were Calypso and Aphrodite. this isn’t a bad name but a girl i’m friends with just had a baby at 16, and she chose his name via instagram polls on her story
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 8 months ago
We saved the weirdness for our kid's middle name, that way if they didn't like it they don't have to tell anyone. I went to school with a Tony Orlando. My sister attended school with a Mason Dixion.
Maisey Myles 8 months ago
Parents that give these idiotic names to their kids should be required to start a trust fund to pay for therapy or legal fees to change their names
Jay Cannaday 8 months ago
Our local newspaper used to print birth announcements. At work we'd look at the newspaper when production tapered off. I'll never forget one little girl who was named Q'aandyklyia. Her last name was Johnson. This was a good 35 years ago and she probably has yet to figure out how to spell that mess.
Performingyak 8 months ago
Kids I've taught Safari Honey Rickadonna J Alecxsander Tenneccee (the poor girl trying to spell that in kindy) Opal, in an opal mining town.
- 8 months ago
When it comes to naming children, that might not work. Someone with a PhD in literature could call their kid "Onomatopoeia" while a very average parent might say, "F*ck it, 'Matilda' is close enough and I can spell it."
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Enuya 8 months ago (edited)
Merlin balls, I am SO happy that my country has restrictions when it comes to naming kids. My mum was worried that "Samanta" would be too weird name for a kid and opted for a more common name for my sister. The weirdest I'd ever seen (and I had seen a lot as I work with tons of documents) were many weird forms of "Jessica" - it was a popular name here some 15-20 years ago. Well, there also was one - I kid you not - Adolf Himmler (curiously, born long after WW2 ended). I cannot imagine what do people who call their children "Chlamydia" or "Candy Barr" think. Poor kiddos.
Robert Millar 8 months ago
I often make up throwaway names for comments on websites like Ada Klokk, or Andy Lockerloop, but I might just start using names like these.
The Original Bruno 8 months ago
Oh, one more... I actually knew a Mary Christmas. In our dialect, that's only just close enough to be funny.
Bettye McKee 7 months ago
I pity these children. When they get older, at least they can change it legally, but childhood is the cruelest time.
Rafael 7 months ago
Brazil has a rule that the officer has to refuse those names that are common adjectives, substantives and so forth - even if they themselves think it is a good idea, they have to refuse. The parents can appellate to a judge, who should be a voice of reason on these cases. There is a Samba singer in Brazil, Seu Jorge ("Seu" is in itself a nickname, akin to Mister), he tried to name his kid Samba. The officer saw how fitting it was, but had to refuse - the case went to a judge and he was granted the name. I myself think the best names are the ones that won't provide a weak spot for bullies to latch early in life, and are international enough later in life to allow them to blend in to any country they choose to move. I named my son Daniel, which is the same in English, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Hungarian, even Indonesian, according to Wikipedia :-)
Pawlise Glemtepassord 7 months ago
I have no plans to have children. And yet I have a list of names that I have checked, double checked, pronounced in every way to bullyproof and checked meanings in other languages for. All this for names I will probably never use, just in case. While at the same time somebody somewhere dooms their child with anatomy and disease names you could find out was a bad idea with one google, like what? Why? You had Nine! Months! to find better options.
Ellen Woods 7 months ago
I once met a Nefertiti and I knew a Sharon. My bad, Sha'ron. Girl, your name is SHARON!
Ellen Woods 7 months ago
I met a Nefertiti and knew a Sharon. My bad, Sha'ron. Girl your name is SHARON!
C Hendrix 7 months ago
I'd heard the "female" story from a cousin, the girl was student in her science class. I grew up with Ginger Root, Pam Slutz, and there was a couple in our town named Ben and Eileen Dover.
Haunted Human 7 months ago
Our high school had a substitute teacher named Anita Head... :/
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Lexie Rayborn 7 months ago
So my great Grandmother had 3 husbands (Now granted they all would have been born in the late 1800s/early 1900s) But they were as following: Colon Mister Jack (Yes Mister was his first name- he is my biological great grandfather) Finally, she married a guy named O.R. which stood for Orange Rasin
John Nelson 8 months ago
The best dentist I ever had was Dr. Paine. I guess with that name, he had to really step up.
Haunted Human 7 months ago (edited)
My sedation dentist is Dr. Love... her practice name is "Gentle Dental". I once went to a chiropractor named Dr. Pain... once was quite enough.
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Becky's Display Name 8 months ago
Asked a bar patron his name to start a tab, he laughed, said you wouldn't believe me, and handed me his card. Kermit. Legit 60 something named Kermit. His middle and last names are just as wild (no, not Frogg).
Bex 8 months ago
I know so many of these! Went to HS w a girl named Emma Leigh (Leigh was her last name); my sister's BFF is named Candy bc her parents are from Ecuador and wanted her to have an American sounding name, and a family my sister used to babysit for named their kids after the cities they were conceived in: Austin (a girl), Cisco (a boy) (short for Francisco, as in San Francisco).
Scott Rackley 8 months ago
Sisters, pronounced ye-LAH-je-low and o-RAHN-je-low. I'll let you figure out the spelling.
The Darkest Timeline 8 months ago
My son is classmates with a Gideon. No problem, right? Not a super common name but not far out. Except for the fact that it’s pronounced “Guide-un.” That’s right; his parents thought Gideon was pronounced “Guide-un.”
KillerKiwi 8 months ago
I know a Bart Barton. Of all of the names, that was the one that his parents choose
Elizabeth Lloyd 8 months ago
Secondary teacher here. Many moons ago I taught a Michael Hunt. He demanded to be called Mike - after his dad.
Crouching hippo hidden panda 8 months ago
Most European countries won’t even let parents do this. I live in Italy and the names we chose had to be reviewed and pass first before they register a child
marilynnberry4 8 months ago
I know of twin boys...Romance and Romantic, a girl named Princess and a Taquila
That Persistent Lint 8 months ago
I'm disappointed on Usnavy (pronounced Ooze-nah-vee) not being listed.
geezeronthehill 8 months ago
The Heyo family in our county was doing fine until they named a daughter "Heidi ".
The Doom Song 8 months ago
I wish stupid people would stop breeding and giving their kids stupid names.
The Original Bruno 8 months ago
A friend at a certain government agency came across twins named Syphillus and Gonorrhea. At least they can go by Phyllis and Rhea.
The Original Bruno 8 months ago
What's so terrible about "Anita?" When your last name is Crotchfelt. Nice girl. A bit crazy. Not in a bad way. And no-one will ever blame the red hair for the craziness.
La Lucy 8 months ago (edited)
In Jr High there was a family whose dad and BOTH sons were named Gary. Must have been Newhart fans. College had a girl named SoHappy. Yet she was not. Internship...Ebony Cherry.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
My family owns a small business, and years ago we had two employees (twins) who were BOTH named “Santa Maria”. One went by “Santa” (they were Hispanic, so it was the Spanish pronunciation of “saint”.) The other one went by a nickname that escapes me at the moment, but it was unrelated to Maria/Mary. Santa gave birth to a daughter while working for us, and named the daughter after my sister (Melanie.) It was surreal all around XD
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Sleepflower 8 months ago
I once had a blood sample for an African lady who was married to an Irish chap. Her name was Baby Fiddler. Thank goodness I don't deal with patients in the lab, I was in stitches for about five minutes. I mean you'd probably just keep your maiden name right? :-D
Nicky 8 months ago
So many of these posts are racist, making fun of ethnic names. This is offensive and not funny.
Thor Haugen 8 months ago
I once worked with someone named Candace Dix. I didn't actually connect why she didn't go by Candy until she made a slip of the tongue herself and called Reese Pieces something else...
Tomato Smudge 8 months ago
Someone told me they were a substitute doing roll call in class and came across the name "La-ia" and assumed it to be pronounced La Ya but the child rolled her eyes and responded, "it's La DASH she ya" like it was the most obvious thing.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
Where I taught, there was a family named Pigg. They named their daughters Ima and Ura. I kid you not.
Stephanie Did It 8 months ago (edited)
Kid you do, sir. The REAL Ima Hogg was the daughter of Texas Governor James Hogg, but she had no sister named Ura although that was (and still is) the tired old joke that followed. Hogg County is named after the family.
Load More Replies... Ansi 8 months ago
So a joke from Reddit: A woman had a C-section and when she woke up she was told her brother had named her twins! She was horrified and bursted out: He's an idiot. What did he name them!? The doctor: He named the girl Denise. New mom: Okay, that was actually good. So what did he name the other one? The doctor: Denephew.
Melissa Harris 8 months ago
Some countries have rules about what you can legally name a child. Usually no military ranks or titles of royalty and nothing that could be considered 'ofensive'.
weatherwitch 8 months ago
Or in the case of many of these just ridiculous for the poor child!
Load More Replies... JkNuss 8 months ago
Am I the only who can't see the majority of the names - this doesn't happen in just a few posts but all the posts in multiple articles on this site - you can't read the type it's just missing
Annik Perrot 8 months ago
Happened to me when I first was here. I deleted the app and now I read straight from the Web site and see everything.
Load More Replies... Lydsylou (she/her) 8 months ago
Elon and Grimes 3 kids: xæa-xII, Exa dark sidræl, techno maximus. I fell so bad for these kids
- 8 months ago
Sid and Max could work in the school yard. No idea how to shorten xæa-xII.
Load More Replies... Trisec Tebeakesse 8 months ago
We went the other way. Our son is named Javier, with the common Spanish spelling. However, it's originally a Basque name, and the Basque spelling is Xabier, pronounced the same way. We both thought that would have been cool, but in the United States, he'd be "X-Avier", and we didn't want that.
The Original Bruno 8 months ago (edited)
Oh, no there's more. There was a New Hampshire congressman who was falsely named the winner of the senate race by the network exit poll consortium named Richard Swett. But he didn't go by Richard for some reason known only to God. A Republican who opposed gays in the military probably because he was named Richard Armey, but again, didn't go by Richard. And a Senate candidate in Virginia named Crystal Balls. Also, a naming convention for referencing bills is to refer to the chief House and Senate sponsor; the bill regulating the internet should have been known as the Dingle-Berry Act, but for some reason the media didn't call it that.
Lori T Wisconsin 8 months ago
Daughter attended high school with a girl named Sweet Peaches, and twins Chlorine & Florine!
Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 8 months ago
There used to be a missing poster at my DMV for a child named La'Treen..(felt doubly horrible for him) . also my sister taught a kid named Codeine .
Montanavanna 8 months ago
When I heard a friend's boyfriends name was Johnny John-john Johnson I thought he was full of s**t. Nope, that is for real his full name.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 8 months ago
George. The boxer George Foreman named all 5 of his sons (George Edward Foreman Jr, III, IV, V, VI)) and one of his seven daughters (Georgetta Edwina Foreman) after himself. I think George is fine for any other family but there's no way you grow up normal with 6 other people in your home with the exact same name.
KDS 8 months ago
I have a bit of advice for soon to be parents before you settle on a name yell that name out and if you still like it use it but if you don’t it might be a good idea to change it before the kid is born.
Mike F 8 months ago
It's comical that when we were too young to be in with the street lights, parents used to come on the porch steps and shout our names. Whenever I read things like this I think of those days and specifically the next door neighbor and what old John would sound like shouting this out in the neighborhood.
Load More Replies... Denise Melek 8 months ago (edited)
Do those people realize that they are naming humans, and not hamsters, boats or some random object?
Ada Hunter 8 months ago
as someone from utah, known for the weird names, i have some good ones. i worked in face painting so met a lot of little kids with the stereotypical utah moms. one girls name was Stalin. another girl, one of the sweetest girls i’ve ever met, her name was Rib. i also knew a girl in elementary school named Cleopatra, and her sisters were Calypso and Aphrodite. this isn’t a bad name but a girl i’m friends with just had a baby at 16, and she chose his name via instagram polls on her story
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 8 months ago
We saved the weirdness for our kid's middle name, that way if they didn't like it they don't have to tell anyone. I went to school with a Tony Orlando. My sister attended school with a Mason Dixion.
Maisey Myles 8 months ago
Parents that give these idiotic names to their kids should be required to start a trust fund to pay for therapy or legal fees to change their names
Jay Cannaday 8 months ago
Our local newspaper used to print birth announcements. At work we'd look at the newspaper when production tapered off. I'll never forget one little girl who was named Q'aandyklyia. Her last name was Johnson. This was a good 35 years ago and she probably has yet to figure out how to spell that mess.
Performingyak 8 months ago
Kids I've taught Safari Honey Rickadonna J Alecxsander Tenneccee (the poor girl trying to spell that in kindy) Opal, in an opal mining town.
- 8 months ago
When it comes to naming children, that might not work. Someone with a PhD in literature could call their kid "Onomatopoeia" while a very average parent might say, "F*ck it, 'Matilda' is close enough and I can spell it."
Load More Replies... Enuya 8 months ago (edited)
Merlin balls, I am SO happy that my country has restrictions when it comes to naming kids. My mum was worried that "Samanta" would be too weird name for a kid and opted for a more common name for my sister. The weirdest I'd ever seen (and I had seen a lot as I work with tons of documents) were many weird forms of "Jessica" - it was a popular name here some 15-20 years ago. Well, there also was one - I kid you not - Adolf Himmler (curiously, born long after WW2 ended). I cannot imagine what do people who call their children "Chlamydia" or "Candy Barr" think. Poor kiddos.
Robert Millar 8 months ago
I often make up throwaway names for comments on websites like Ada Klokk, or Andy Lockerloop, but I might just start using names like these.
The Original Bruno 8 months ago
Oh, one more... I actually knew a Mary Christmas. In our dialect, that's only just close enough to be funny.
Bettye McKee 7 months ago
I pity these children. When they get older, at least they can change it legally, but childhood is the cruelest time.
Rafael 7 months ago
Brazil has a rule that the officer has to refuse those names that are common adjectives, substantives and so forth - even if they themselves think it is a good idea, they have to refuse. The parents can appellate to a judge, who should be a voice of reason on these cases. There is a Samba singer in Brazil, Seu Jorge ("Seu" is in itself a nickname, akin to Mister), he tried to name his kid Samba. The officer saw how fitting it was, but had to refuse - the case went to a judge and he was granted the name. I myself think the best names are the ones that won't provide a weak spot for bullies to latch early in life, and are international enough later in life to allow them to blend in to any country they choose to move. I named my son Daniel, which is the same in English, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Hungarian, even Indonesian, according to Wikipedia :-)
Pawlise Glemtepassord 7 months ago
I have no plans to have children. And yet I have a list of names that I have checked, double checked, pronounced in every way to bullyproof and checked meanings in other languages for. All this for names I will probably never use, just in case. While at the same time somebody somewhere dooms their child with anatomy and disease names you could find out was a bad idea with one google, like what? Why? You had Nine! Months! to find better options.
Ellen Woods 7 months ago
I once met a Nefertiti and I knew a Sharon. My bad, Sha'ron. Girl, your name is SHARON!
Ellen Woods 7 months ago
I met a Nefertiti and knew a Sharon. My bad, Sha'ron. Girl your name is SHARON!
C Hendrix 7 months ago
I'd heard the "female" story from a cousin, the girl was student in her science class. I grew up with Ginger Root, Pam Slutz, and there was a couple in our town named Ben and Eileen Dover.
Haunted Human 7 months ago
Our high school had a substitute teacher named Anita Head... :/
Load More Replies... Lexie Rayborn 7 months ago
So my great Grandmother had 3 husbands (Now granted they all would have been born in the late 1800s/early 1900s) But they were as following: Colon Mister Jack (Yes Mister was his first name- he is my biological great grandfather) Finally, she married a guy named O.R. which stood for Orange Rasin
John Nelson 8 months ago
The best dentist I ever had was Dr. Paine. I guess with that name, he had to really step up.
Haunted Human 7 months ago (edited)
My sedation dentist is Dr. Love... her practice name is "Gentle Dental". I once went to a chiropractor named Dr. Pain... once was quite enough.
Load More Replies... Becky's Display Name 8 months ago
Asked a bar patron his name to start a tab, he laughed, said you wouldn't believe me, and handed me his card. Kermit. Legit 60 something named Kermit. His middle and last names are just as wild (no, not Frogg).
Bex 8 months ago
I know so many of these! Went to HS w a girl named Emma Leigh (Leigh was her last name); my sister's BFF is named Candy bc her parents are from Ecuador and wanted her to have an American sounding name, and a family my sister used to babysit for named their kids after the cities they were conceived in: Austin (a girl), Cisco (a boy) (short for Francisco, as in San Francisco).
Scott Rackley 8 months ago
Sisters, pronounced ye-LAH-je-low and o-RAHN-je-low. I'll let you figure out the spelling.
The Darkest Timeline 8 months ago
My son is classmates with a Gideon. No problem, right? Not a super common name but not far out. Except for the fact that it’s pronounced “Guide-un.” That’s right; his parents thought Gideon was pronounced “Guide-un.”
KillerKiwi 8 months ago
I know a Bart Barton. Of all of the names, that was the one that his parents choose
Elizabeth Lloyd 8 months ago
Secondary teacher here. Many moons ago I taught a Michael Hunt. He demanded to be called Mike - after his dad.
Crouching hippo hidden panda 8 months ago
Most European countries won’t even let parents do this. I live in Italy and the names we chose had to be reviewed and pass first before they register a child
marilynnberry4 8 months ago
I know of twin boys...Romance and Romantic, a girl named Princess and a Taquila
That Persistent Lint 8 months ago
I'm disappointed on Usnavy (pronounced Ooze-nah-vee) not being listed.
geezeronthehill 8 months ago
The Heyo family in our county was doing fine until they named a daughter "Heidi ".
The Doom Song 8 months ago
I wish stupid people would stop breeding and giving their kids stupid names.
The Original Bruno 8 months ago
A friend at a certain government agency came across twins named Syphillus and Gonorrhea. At least they can go by Phyllis and Rhea.
The Original Bruno 8 months ago
What's so terrible about "Anita?" When your last name is Crotchfelt. Nice girl. A bit crazy. Not in a bad way. And no-one will ever blame the red hair for the craziness.
La Lucy 8 months ago (edited)
In Jr High there was a family whose dad and BOTH sons were named Gary. Must have been Newhart fans. College had a girl named SoHappy. Yet she was not. Internship...Ebony Cherry.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
My family owns a small business, and years ago we had two employees (twins) who were BOTH named “Santa Maria”. One went by “Santa” (they were Hispanic, so it was the Spanish pronunciation of “saint”.) The other one went by a nickname that escapes me at the moment, but it was unrelated to Maria/Mary. Santa gave birth to a daughter while working for us, and named the daughter after my sister (Melanie.) It was surreal all around XD
Load More Replies... Sleepflower 8 months ago
I once had a blood sample for an African lady who was married to an Irish chap. Her name was Baby Fiddler. Thank goodness I don't deal with patients in the lab, I was in stitches for about five minutes. I mean you'd probably just keep your maiden name right? :-D
Nicky 8 months ago
So many of these posts are racist, making fun of ethnic names. This is offensive and not funny.
Thor Haugen 8 months ago
I once worked with someone named Candace Dix. I didn't actually connect why she didn't go by Candy until she made a slip of the tongue herself and called Reese Pieces something else...
Tomato Smudge 8 months ago
Someone told me they were a substitute doing roll call in class and came across the name "La-ia" and assumed it to be pronounced La Ya but the child rolled her eyes and responded, "it's La DASH she ya" like it was the most obvious thing.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
Where I taught, there was a family named Pigg. They named their daughters Ima and Ura. I kid you not.
Stephanie Did It 8 months ago (edited)
Kid you do, sir. The REAL Ima Hogg was the daughter of Texas Governor James Hogg, but she had no sister named Ura although that was (and still is) the tired old joke that followed. Hogg County is named after the family.
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