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Nurses And Midwives Reveal 40 Baby Names That They Tried To Talk The Parents Out Of
For new parents, naming their baby can be both a blessing and, sometimes, a curse. You see, while most moms and dads have at least a rough idea of what name they’re going to register for their little miracle, some do struggle to come up with something original.
And this can be a daunting task when you keep in mind that on average, about 250 babies are born every minute—more than 130 million in a year. But can a baby name get a teeny tiny too original? Like, on the border of becoming something potentially troublesome and question-raising as the child is growing up?
Well, one redditor ought to have found out as they asked “Nurses and midwives of Reddit, have you ever tried to talk new parents out of a baby name? What was it?” on Ask Reddit. The answers started pouring in and they will be illuminating, to say the least. Take notes, parents, ‘cause there’s a fair reason you never ever want to give your baby a spin of the name Collin which is spelled “Colon.”
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#1
I had a coworker named Trina, and when she was pregnant, she told me that she and her husband decided to name their baby 'Latrine.' I had to explain to her that she was naming her poor baby after the hole in the ground that soldiers s**t into!"
"She was horrified, and changed it to 'Katrina.' Then, two days after the kid was born, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans
Laugh or not 3 years ago
At least she changed it to a normal, nice name. If you need to check the naming plan for hurricane before naming your baby, things are getting difficult fast.
RELATED:
#2
Oh I got one. Goth parents (18ish) had a baby. They wanted to name this sweet baby girl Death. I could not stand for it. So I told them every time I went to type it into birth certificate it changed the form to a death certificate. They bought and that girl is now named Morticia
#3
My grandmother once put Virginia on a birth certificate when the parents had requested Vagina but didn’t know how to spell it.
Choosing a perfect name for your little one can be totally nerve-wracking. One day, the one you carried in mind for the past 9 months just doesn’t feel right anymore, and you’re back to searching for a new one.
Of course, many parents bear a great deal of confidence in their baby name choice, but it’s totally normal to have second thoughts. A survey conducted by Mumsnet.com found that almost one-fifth of parents in the UK would opt for a different name for their child if they had a chance.
The reason according to the survey is 25% of regret because the name was “too common,” and 21% of regret was caused by a name which “just didn’t feel right.”
#4
My husband wanted to name our son Truck . Almost ended in divorce. Needless to say, none of our boys are named Truck and we are still married
#6
My boss's friend named their kid 'Monster Galileo.' The nurse tried to talk them out it, but they insisted. The kid goes by 'Galileo.'"
"Honestly, I kind of like the sound of it for an adult or a performer's name, but being a kid named 'Monster' has to be rough in school
The best way to avoid such thoughts is to think about it in advance. So before registering your baby a name, do your homework. You can check whether a name’s popularity is trending up or down on sites like BabyNameWizard.com and Nameberry.com. Make sure the name you want is not super popular at the moment, because if it is, the chances are you’ll be hearing everywhere wherever you go!
#7
My classmate's mother was a maternity nurse, and she once had a couple who wanted to name their son 'Collin,' but wanted to give him a unique spelling. So they chose to spell it C-O-L-O-N. They tried to name their son Colon — as in, the organ attached to your anus. When my classmate's mother explained this to them, they were painfully embarrassed, and asked her to just use the usual spelling instead. I don't think they'll ever live it down
ADHORTATOR 3 years ago
I have a collegue, she wanted to call her son Connor (rare name in Germany), but nearly wrote Connar in the documents...."Connard" is an insult in French....not very clever when you live 2 km from the french border...
#8
Back in 2000-2004 I worked at a hospital doing admin and an ol' battleaxe of a senior midwife stomped over with this angry-looking pregnant teenager in tow.
"Varvara!" Old Battleaxe roared. "Varvara, open up that internetty-thing on your computer!"
Old Battleaxe did not know computers, but she was well scary, so I agreed, and opened up the internetty-thing.
"Show this ridiculous child the first picture that appears when you type in the word Chanterelle!"
The angry pregnant teenager whined about how it was a pretty name and loads of girls were naming their little girl it, and then went stone-dead silent when she saw picture after picture of nasty sulphur-yellow mushrooms sprouting out of muddy forest floors.
"Told you! It's a [friggin] fungus!" Old Battleaxe roared, and stamped off to be Terrifying and Sensible at other pregnant teenagers, leaving me with the angry one.
Turned out that the name she had actually been thinking of was Chardonnay, which is both the name of very expensive wine and the name of a character in a UK soap opera called Footballers Wives, which was about as classy as it sounds.
The baby got that as a middle name later on, which was fine, the first name was Sophie or something along those lines.
Kirsten Kerkhof 3 years ago
In primary school I was classmates with a girl who was named after a wine (as was her younger sister, their father was a pretty famous sommelier). That said, the name was as pretty as it was unknown to be a wine, so I don't think they ever suffered (and sadly I cannot remember the name).
#9
My ex-husband didn't think it was fair that girls could be named 'Grace' or 'Hope,' and he seriously suggested 'Pestilence,' 'War,' or 'Plague.' And his choice for a girl was 'Tangerine.' Fortunately, we never had any children
On the other hand, picking an extremely rare name is not an ideal way to go about it either. Make sure your child will be able to grow and socialize comfortably with the name you’ll give to them and it won't cause any unwanted attention.
#10
My dad wanted to name me 'Sky' — but he thought replacing the 'y' with an 'i' would be cute. Thank God my mom didn't go along with it, or I may have been named 'Ski.'
Arthur Waite 3 years ago
In my hometown, with a lot of German and Eastern European immigrant families, 'Ski' was a common name - every school class had a Stanislavski or a Dubrovski, etc. All shorten quickly to 'Ski'. Boys, anyway.
#11
I once had a student named 'Linoleum.' Some midwife definitely dropped the ball on that one.
#12
Working as an ERT on overnights, I got called to OB to help out alot. One name will always stick with me because of how unfortunate it is for the kid and how ridiculous it all is. The mom was deep in meth and other substance abuse and she told us she wanted him named Zion. We were like oh cool no problem so we asked her to fill out the paperwork of everything for us to submit and put in the chart and she wrote down Vzyiion.....she looked us dead in the eyes and said, the V is silent..... She also gave him 5 middle names because she didn't know which one was the father so he got em all
After all, we all learn to love names. You see, it’s usually not the name per se which bugs us, but a person we know who bears that particular name. If we don’t like the person, we’d probably have the same feeling about that name.
So, imagine that a child who you and your family adores to the moon and back will forever be precious no matter the name you give. In the end, some people just won't get that name you picked and that’s also fine.
#13
Ladies and Gentlemen, Adolph Hitler.
The parents then tried to claim they weren't Nazis.... At first
ADHORTATOR 3 years ago
the real name is Adolf - they thought that they could fool you by writing it with ph?
#14
I worked at a registrar for a while, and some of the standout names on the birth certificates I got were 'Killer,' 'Syphilis,' and 'Sweet Prayer Sunrise'
#15
I lived with a student midwife when I was a student, and the first set of twins she delivered were named 'Red' and 'Blue.'
#16
As a med student, I had a patient who wanted to name her child 'Mudpiles.' The nurses silently protested and waited a few days. Mom eventually changed her mind
#17
I know a teacher who has a elementary age student with a African name that unfortunately does not translate well into English North America, the kids name is Acock Ring, and yes I wish I was kidding
#18
My uncle wanted to name his daughter Raider God. I'm glad they settled on Jada
#19
Not a nurse or a midwife but I had to talk a friend out of naming their daughter jkmno
#20
My daughter named my grandchildren...Draven Tyrion Dexter Zaraphil Johnson, and Andromeda Nymphadora Jane Zaraphil Johnson....I'm not happy , but at least we convinced her to leave Lucifer out
#21
I work in a music store that offers lessons and rents instruments. We have a list of the oddest child names.
~ Jamuary, Qwest, Sixte, She'Bra, Battle, ShyAnn are just a few on there.
~ The best one was Alivia (pronouned Ah-Lee-Vee-ah). When speaking with the grandmother she said that the mom wanted to name her Olivia but the father hated the name. Dad saw a bottle of Aleve on the counter so he and the mother compromised and came up with Alivia
Zaza 3 years ago (edited)
January isn't that ridiculous, considered April, May, June and August are regular names. I wouldn't wish on any child to be named January, but nah, not stupid enough to make this list imo (fun fact: the month of July was named after Julius Ceasar and August was named after emperor Augustus) Edit: Thanks for pointing out that I misread the name. i see it now Oh the irony... All of you "correcting" me for misreading 1 letter, when I corrected it myself after only 2 comments. Something pot, something kettle?... God you all suck. I edited my comment almost immediately, no need to repeat that it's an M over and over again. And calling me out for misreading? How about you yourselves do some proper reading before commenting
#22
Obligatory not a nurse or midwife.
Took a call at the call center once and this poor frazzled EMT told me that she was delivering a kid and the mom's bowels voided, which is normal and apparently that's called "miconium."
She told her partner "Oop we got some miconium here" and the mom yells "Oh my god that's such a beautiful name - you just named my baby!"
The caller said "Paul, I...I tried to tell her, but...there's a kid running around named Birth S**t and I just don't know how to handle being responsible for that"
#23
I'm neither of these, but I had a classmate in university whose name was Meganathan.
...To date I don't know why Nathan failed to suffice
#24
I tried to tell someone not to name their kid 'Tarmac.' They'd recently learned the word from NASCAR.
#25
I used to work in labor and delivery. One of the very experienced nurses had two times she had to talk people out of naming their child Vagina... and explain why they were hearing that word they liked so much
#26
When I travelled around Africa, there were people named for qualities the parents wanted for the kid. So met Happiness, Joy, Loveness, Goodluck (very common), Leadership, Sunshine.
My favourite: Shoes.
#27
A baby here is named Covid Bryant... not even kidding. Look it up
#28
My coworker went to school with a girl named 'Fallopia.' I feel sorry for her when she's in biology class and they talk about Fallopian tubes.
#29
My brother wanted to name our soon-to-be younger brother 'Corn Peas,' and our parents almost went with it because they felt bad for asking for his input and then rejecting it. Fortunately, they got over that.
#30
My mom wanted to name me Kirby. After her vacuum. Thankfully my dad talked her out if it.
#31
My mother wanted to name my baby brother 'Ichabod Rusty.' Our surname is 'Ford,' and she was determined to call him 'Icky Rusty Ford.' She tickled herself sh*tless through her pregnancy, but eventually my dad said 'No,' and they settled on something much more appropriate.
#32
Girl in highschool was named yanique (pronounced unique)
She was certainly one of a kind
#33
I was almost named Cinderall I have no idea what my dad was smoking at the time
#34
I'm not a nurse or a midwife, but I was once paid to design birthday cards for a kid named 'Mileage,' pronounced My-Leige, like how you'd refer to a king
#35
My kids have a friend in their class called Famous (male).
#36
My boyfriend was nearly called 'Eggbert,' but 'Egg' for short. So glad they decided against it!
#37
My sister's initials were almost PMS they swapped the first and middle names
denzoren 3 years ago
I went to school with an Art kid whose initials was "SAD" and he would sign all his painting with it. It was pretty cool.
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MiaOokami 3 years ago
My initials are MF. So are my dad's. And my granddad's. And my aunt's. Funny story! I once was at my grandparents house, and found a little clay figure with the initials "MF" on the bottom. I didn't remember making it, so I thought, "Now which MF made this?" And then thought how wrong that sounded.
Susan Bosse 3 years ago
Have a friend who's initials were nearly ASS. They swapped Scott and Allen so they're SAS. Lol
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
My initials were KMG until I got married and dropped my middle name for my maiden name. Unfortunately my husband’s last name begins with a B, so my initials are now KGB. Glad I got married long after the Berlin Wall fell.
Anjali Cooper 2 years ago
My initials are ABC. My parents gave me beautiful names, and I think my initials are kinda cute, but still. Kinda hilarious how I sound like a character from a toddler’s show. Lol! 😂❤️
Rob Williams 3 years ago
I was in college with a guy called R.A.F. Troughton, which sounded like and airforce base. He just shrugged and said "it was nearly Frederick Arthur Roger…"
Jessica Wilson 3 years ago
Mine are JEW and I X-ray people, so my initials are all over my images.🤷🏻♀️
Katherine Nicholson 3 years ago
My name can mean pure victory or pure torture!!! This should be on here!!!😝😝😝
Katherine Nicholson 3 years ago
Add 2 vowels to my initials and you have the first name of one of my uncles!!! KVN are my initials.
Marky Mark 3 years ago
That stands for 'Goods and Services Tax'.... so yeah.... only exciting to accountants
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Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
If my mom never considered what initials could spell out, I probably would've grown up with the initials "ELF".
Jennie Kelly 3 years ago
My Grandma wanted to name my aunt Kimberly Kate Kelly. She later changed Kate to Lin when she realized her initials would be KKK.
Emilycookie 3 years ago
my initials are MED, like a pill. Quite fitting seeing as i take 2 pills per day.
Elizabeth Calvert 3 years ago
My ex father in law wanted to name my ex husband Anthony Stewart Stanton. In hindsight ASS would've been a good warning and accurate
Cybele Spanjaard 3 years ago
My initials at birth were CAMPS..I married man whose initials were also CAMPS...something meant to be connected? We are both straight!!Grins..
Cybele Spanjaard 3 years ago
Like someone I know would have been EGG..changed at birth the GEG...
Ruth Beaty 3 years ago
My initials spelled RED, and getting married just changed it to REB. My mom said she wasn't really thinking on that one. Unfortunately, one of my kids wound up with DAB, totally unintentional.
Jessica Shookhoff 3 years ago
My sister's initials are JEM- so cute! My initials were also almost PMS, but thankfully a last minute change saved me
Bow, I’m a Slytherin 3 years ago
Mine are ML, I googled it, Machine Learning came up, so I’m now known as Machine to my friends.
Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
mine are LEP which means basically nothing but my brother's are BJP... i'll let u figure it out
#38
I currently work with someone who's first name is "Imunique". I don't think any midwives or nurses were involved with the naming
#39
I used to work with youth who needed mental health support. I worked with 2 girls who had the following first names: Nawja (pronounced like nausea), & Cinnamon. I felt terrible for them.
Rose the Cook 3 years ago
Cinnamon is not bad, there are many songs called Cinnamon. The first that comes to mind was by Tommy Roe circa 1969.
#40
My ex wanted to name my son Jager (pronounced either Jagger or Yager) or Shotenjäger. That was a no.
Everyone talked me out of naming my daughter Evelyn (and nickname Evie - it’s a family name but apparently it’s for old women only lol)
What do you think ?
ADHORTATOR 3 years ago
I am so happy that in my country there are laws prohibiting this kind of crap.
Hans 3 years ago
100% agree. Bureocracy sometimes is over the top, and the state must not interere with what is private. I believe, however, that the state should protect all the members of societies – this includes children who have stupid, clueless, or selfish parents.
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Ozacoter 3 years ago (edited)
I hate also when families keep naming everybody the same. I get using a middle name if you want to honour a relative. But having three generations under one roof that are called the same is simply stupid. In my family there are two couples of father/son and one mother/daughter that are called the same. Its maddening. One of them had a baby and at least had the common sense of giving him a proper name and then keep the dads name as a middle name. My greatgrandma, grandma and mum were also called the same. When I was born my grandma wanted me to be called like that as well. My mum refused. Sorry four women in a row with the same name is too much. The point of names is to have a sense of individuality.
Michael Gore 3 years ago
Where I live it used to be traditional to name your oldest son John it used to get pretty confusing when my dad (John) , granddad (John), other granddad (John), uncle (John), and my dad's best man (John), Would get together. That said I kind of regret not being called John myself and really wanted to name my son John.
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A.M. Pierre 3 years ago
My dad met someone who said his name was what sounded like "Piz-ulms." "...Piz-ulms?" my dad repeated. "Yes sir, Piz-ulms. Parents loved the Bible so they gave me a Bible name." His name was Psalms.
SoozeeQ 3 years ago
They couldn't have named him David? (The writer of the Psalms).
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Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 3 years ago
My daughter is Dahlia, named after a Phish song. My oldest son is Asher. Not weird but different.
Jimifan 3 years ago
I've got two... One was a young woman named Tequila, which she pronounced "Tech-will-uh" and would get upset when someone used the obvious pronunciation. Another was a Class-A idiot I used to work with who, after having seven daughters, finally got his poor wife to churn out a son. The name he put on the birth certificate? "My Son." His horrified wife protested loudly, so the words were put together and the kid's name became Myson.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
My Aunty wanted to name her firstborn son Crud Logan. Her last name is Berry (by marriage). She changed her mind when 12-year-old me fell on the floor laughing "Crud Loganberry!" She looked a little embarrassed but found it funny too and changed her mind to Anthony Carl. When she gave birth, she had a girl. She decided Toni Charlotte would be best. I'm turning 50 tomorrow, and we all still get a chuckle out of it. Toni also jokes "Imagine my initials if I had been called Joanne!"
Simon Murray 3 years ago
When I was born my dad wanted to call me Thor, my mother objected because it was a brand of washing machine at the time. It would have been an epic name by the mid 2010s but growing up in the 80s would have been rough with a name like that
Death Metal Kitty 3 years ago
Ahem... some poor child in Singapore is named Abcde. Serious. Made the news.
SoozeeQ 3 years ago
Apparently, it's pronounced "Ab-See-Dee", and the parents get upset if people pronounce it like the alphabet.
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Aragorn II Elessar 3 years ago
If my future SO gives birth to our male child in the vehicle on the way to the hospital he’s gonna be named Carson. No other option.
Uncommon Boston 3 years ago
The name isn't offensive or weird. Sounds okay to me. Inside joke is funny, the kid might find humor in how he was named.
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I wanted a daughter named Clover, but her last name would have been Rawles. Together it would have been Clover Rawles when said too quickly sounds like coveralls. We had a boy, problem avoided.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
What about the parents who tried to call their daughter "Tallulah does the hula in Hawaii"?! I'm gna look for a link
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago (edited)
https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/546018/Court-orders-name-change
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Siddharthkrishna Kodathala 3 years ago (edited)
I had a girl in my class who always put the word "poopy" before my name. Let me just say it was annoying and stupid. I also had to put up with this for three years... It. Was. HELL.
John Bennick 3 years ago
In 1985 my wife gave birth to twin boys. I wanted to name them Hawkeye and Buffalo Chip. Sober heads prevailed.
Suzanne Griscom 3 years ago
I had an immigrant high school student 20 years ago, whose first and last name together was pronounced TESTACLE, but with no stress on that first syllable [TES]. Not writing his name out because he has enough to deal with. Also had students named Diarrhea (it was the prettiest sounding English word her parents heard in the refugee camp), and kid who went by Tony Hue because his first name is Phuc.
Kiss Army 3 years ago
My MIL was in a shared hospital room when she had my husband and the lady in the next bed could not decide what to name her daughter. The nurses had provided several reference materials for new moms baby name lists, lists of items needed, etc... The lady was looking over the lists and said "That is the perfect name!" She was looking at the baby supply list and ended up naming her baby Pajama (pronounced pag- a- ma). No amount of talking to her would change her mind... poor kid...
Gail 1 year ago
I worked with a lady who had to enter Pajama on a birth certificate too. She also had to enter Placenta, the mom thought it was so pretty!
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Little Ms. Quirky 3 years ago
A parent in china tried to name their child @ because they wanted their child to be unique
Quinn Alexander 3 years ago
JFC before you ever name your baby, imagine every way they can be bullied and IDGAF IF YOU THINK "They would wear it with pride because it's unique" NO THEY F*****G WOULDN'T, THEY WILL DISTANCE THEMSELVES FROM YOU FOREVER.
Arenite 3 years ago
Woody Allen. Kid grew up and changed his name to Ronan. He’s a famous journalist now, Ronan Farrow.
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V Martinez 3 years ago
My sibling & I both have V D for initials. Thx mom. Her initials are B J. We joke that two cases of vd came from a bj. Lol!
B Jones 3 years ago
This deserve a Terry Pratchett quote "The Carter parents were a quiet and respectable Lancre family who got into a bit of a mix-up when it came to naming their children. First, they had four daughters, who were christened Hope, Chastity, Prudence, and Charity, because naming girls after virtues is an ancient and unremarkable tradition. Then their first son was born and out of some misplaced idea about how this naming business was done he was called Anger Carter, followed later by Jealousy Carter, B********y Carter and Covetousness Carter. Life being what it is, Hope turned out to be a depressive, Chastity was enjoying life as a lady of negotiable affection in Ankh-Morpork, Prudence had thirteen children, and Charity expected to get a dollar’s change out of seventy-five pence–whereas the boys had grown into amiable, well-tempered men, and B********y Carter was, for example, very kind to animals. Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
Emma London 3 years ago
In my country the parents have about two months to decide on the name. Also a official name authority has to approve new names, which prevents people from naming their children "Wolverine" or "Stone Cold".
Doggo Froggo 3 years ago (edited)
I have never liked my name so much lol. And it's in a stupid song....
Joanne Hudson 3 years ago
When I was young, the name was often just for legal use. The kids were Buster, Buddy, Champ, Skeeziks, SuzyQ, Pattycake, etc. And the kids can always change it. There was a period of time when my brother (Leston Eugene) demanded to be called Number Seven.
Anna Simpson 3 years ago
I know a couple who gave their son a Gaelic name without taking into consideration that it wouldn't be understood where we live. His name is Foalan. It's pronounced fwhay-lin but people (doctors, teachers etc) always initially pronounce it Fo-a-lan. Had they gone with the english spelling (the main language where we live) it would've been spelt Whalen, which is phoenetically a lot closer to the pronunciation.
Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
An instance with a completely harmless name occurred with me - one of the names my mom considered giving me was Simon. A relative refused to let her give me that name because of the SNL skit where Mike Myers played a character named Simon.
Jay Weigel 3 years ago
When I worked in neonatal, we had a baby girl named Chivas Aspen. One of my co-workers quipped, "I guess we know how she was conceived!"
Kara Reid 3 years ago
Idk if anyone else got this with the name Jkmno but when I seen it I immediately seen noel as the name they were doin. Of course bc of the no l, I'm not sure that's what they were trying to do but it made sense to me so it's possible they were trying to name the kid noel & got creative with the way they spelled it to come to that conclusion. Not everyone would see that or get it but some ppl don't get that everybody doesn't think the same way. Poor kid was probably called no telling what growing up & unfortunately the parents don't think bout what they gotta deal with either. But thought in case no body had said that already it may be worth mentioning but I didn't have time to go thru comments to check so sry if they have said it.
Colin Matthews 3 years ago
I genuinely despise the traditional names ruined by dreadful spelling... And look who hasnt seen some poor kid lumbered with a terrible name by useless adults who struggles. My daughters class has a boy called "onyx". Ffs..
Arenite 3 years ago
Onyx is not a bad name. Just another gemstone name, like Amber, Jade, or Pearl. I knew someone who named his daughter Ruby and went to high school with an Amber.
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Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
That's the reason many countries forbid such names... Why would anyone be so wicked they purposely ruin their child's entire life from birth ? Seriously, freedom is bad.
Elizabeth 3 years ago
Had my paternal grandfather been alive when I was born, my mom was prepared to name me "Georgia May" in order to mess with him, as it was the most southern sounding name she could think of. He was from the north and she came from the south, and apparently this was some kind of running joke/point of contention between them.
Susan Bosse 3 years ago
I worked in Medical Records at a regional medical center years ago. A baby was named Timber Ree. I could just hear the parents calling her to come in the house. "TIMBERRRRRR!!!!" She was shot and killed in a drug deal when she was 21. Front page of the newspaper. Strange as that's always been the only name I remember from my time there even though we had a big list going. I read where she was born (birth record) and then I read where she died (front page).
Logic and Reason 3 years ago
Reminds me of this Olympian, her parents let her choose her own name. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picabo_Street
Fluffy Griffin 3 years ago
I know someone who named their kid Solanus. It's supposedly not super unusual... Anyway, I call him Sunny and she says I'm being childish.
Duchess Raven Waves 3 years ago
Honestly I like some of these names. And dont know why they would be included. Some are dreadful of course but I nearly named my son Judas. Because its beautiful but it has stigma because of the Jesus thing.
Christine 3 years ago
"The Jesus thing" - I've had a long day and I appreciate the laugh! Thanks!
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GlassHalfWay 3 years ago
My friend went to high school with a girl named Marijuana Pepsicola (unknown lastname). She was in sports and had awards in the hallway with her name.
Amanda Panda 3 years ago
Oh how I could contribute to this one. I used to manage a photography company that did Cheer Competitions. I kept a running list of all the ridiculous names I cam across. Twinkle, Sparkle, Bossy, Sassy, Tigre (yes re not er), Karmikazaye topped the list. And yes, I went to dire lengths to confirm each time that they were not nicknames before I added them to my list. These were on the birth certificate.
Amanda Panda 3 years ago
Lastly, I lived near a small Rominichal community in Oklahoma. Sapphire, Diamond, Krystal Chandalier, Emerald, Princess, Precious, Pajama and the like were very common.
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Ayia Grace 3 years ago (edited)
My uncle wanted to name my aunt and his first daughter. Nelia, or Alien spelled backwards. He wanted to name his first child Alien. My aunt managed to talk him out of it, her name is Falen. If you seem someone on Facebook with a daughter name Nelia in 2029ish it's me.
Melissa TO 3 years ago
My friend's sister was a labor and delivery nurse. She told me once she had a mom that wanted to name the baby "Placenta".
Karen Klinck 3 years ago
Placenta is all too common. It ends in 'A'. This will make it a girl's name. I'm not kidding; I wish I was! Any body part or disease that ends in an 'A' is fair game. Another favorite is Cyphillus, which is (I kid you not) onsidered to be a flower name.
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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
True story: My great uncle was named, on his birth certificate, Junior. That was his legal name. First name. Junior. Flash forward 80 years, and I meet my husgband's great-uncle... whose legal first name was Junior. Not X Whatever Junior. Junior Surname. Both times. And not related. (We checked!)
Lsai Aeon 3 years ago
There's twins, Brick and Stone last name Wall; Sunny Dayann and her sister Misty last name Night, The Hogg children (yes those are real). I've heard of at least one Spanish only speaking mother in America naming her daughter Placenta. There are several others that I can't remember at the moment...
Susan Stead 3 years ago
When I was doing some ancestry research, I found out that I had a way-back relative named Zebulon. I thought he must be a time traveler or a superhero.
Hannah Edwards 3 years ago
I was going to let my daughter (2 and a half) choose her baby sister’s name . She chose “Parents Lemon” needless to say I didn’t go with it.
Aubrey Baird 3 years ago
My mom is a teacher, and she was telling me how she had a student named, wait for it, "E-Money"!
Celeste Grant 3 years ago
Slightly different but I taught children called cystitis and chlamydia. Bet they grew up wishing the midwife had stepped in and persuaded their parents to choose something else!
Jessica Nametz 3 years ago
I used to collect medical records for insurance companies and the name of a patient/claimant that stood out the most for me: Shasta Orange. It was on all of their legal documents and everything... I still laugh whenever I see that soda....
Coli Erasmus 3 years ago
Used to work in a doctor's reception. One of our regular patients called her baby Euthanasia. When I asked how she came about it, she said she saw the name in a newspaper headline and thought it sounded nice. I didn't have the heart to tell her.
Vicky Zar 3 years ago
Thank god Germany has one important rule for name giving. The name may not be harmfull to the child. In general this means names of famous bad people like Hitler are absolutely forbidden. Then names that seam derogative to the child will not be allowed (like Stupid, Pig, Barbie...). Neither can you name your child like a brand, surname or City. Exception are names that were already used as child names (like Paris, Mercedes, Nike...)
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
I used to work with a lady called Butterfly. Parents had good intentions but it's a weird name for a person
opinionated biatch 3 years ago
work at a school: Uniquewa, Rosevelte, Deaglan, Syanco, Caitilighn, Dynastee, Shannondoa, Zuzanna, Brithny, Nokaphia, Jefurcin, Pocahontas, Royalty
Vicky Zar 3 years ago
Zuzanna is a normal polish name. Its the polish version of Susan (Susanne in German by the way)
Load More Replies... Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
i'm thinking about naming my future child (if i have one) miri rhea for a girl, and beckham james for a boy. miri is from the book princess academy and rhea is my mom's middle name, and beckham is a family name and james is my dad's first name and my dad's dad's first name and one of my brother's middle names
Javiera Gotelli 3 years ago (edited)
In my country we have laws preventing idiot parents from using names that may ridicule their child. It amazes me how "da gReAaTeSt cOuNtrY iN dA wOrlD" is full of people with ridiculous names (and the way some are spelled, csm!). What's with the apostrophes on names? It's fckn moronic, among other things... Funny story though: in my city, a few years ago, some parents wanted to name her daughter "Chañaña". The doctor asked, and they replied something along the lines of "like the singer, you know, Chañaña (Shania) Twain" ... They spelled it phonetically, and wrong because the name doesn't sound like that AT ALL
Logic and Reason 3 years ago
Jesus Christ your hatred of America is beginning to border on straight-up xenophobia. Find something more original to complain about, you don’t even live in America and thus don’t have to deal with the majority of its problems.
Load More Replies...
Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
You know what: call your baby whatever you damn well want. I hate this judgemental nonsense. The rest of us can be responsible for teaching our own children not to be playground bullies. And we can all be respectful enough to learn how to pronounce people's names correctly and treat them as whole people with value. F. u. cking hell.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I think Roxy is a nice name and I see your point, except for when the name disrespects the baby.
Load More Replies... Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago (edited)
I like weird names. I think names like John, Sam, Bill and Jenny are as bad as names on this list, and almost as abusive. It isn’t right to give your kid a name everyone else has that has no identity and no thought. As long as you don’t name your kid something insulting or negative or super common, I think it’s all fine.
ADHORTATOR 3 years ago
I am so happy that in my country there are laws prohibiting this kind of crap.
Hans 3 years ago
100% agree. Bureocracy sometimes is over the top, and the state must not interere with what is private. I believe, however, that the state should protect all the members of societies – this includes children who have stupid, clueless, or selfish parents.
Load More Replies... Ozacoter 3 years ago (edited)
I hate also when families keep naming everybody the same. I get using a middle name if you want to honour a relative. But having three generations under one roof that are called the same is simply stupid. In my family there are two couples of father/son and one mother/daughter that are called the same. Its maddening. One of them had a baby and at least had the common sense of giving him a proper name and then keep the dads name as a middle name. My greatgrandma, grandma and mum were also called the same. When I was born my grandma wanted me to be called like that as well. My mum refused. Sorry four women in a row with the same name is too much. The point of names is to have a sense of individuality.
Michael Gore 3 years ago
Where I live it used to be traditional to name your oldest son John it used to get pretty confusing when my dad (John) , granddad (John), other granddad (John), uncle (John), and my dad's best man (John), Would get together. That said I kind of regret not being called John myself and really wanted to name my son John.
Load More Replies... A.M. Pierre 3 years ago
My dad met someone who said his name was what sounded like "Piz-ulms." "...Piz-ulms?" my dad repeated. "Yes sir, Piz-ulms. Parents loved the Bible so they gave me a Bible name." His name was Psalms.
SoozeeQ 3 years ago
They couldn't have named him David? (The writer of the Psalms).
Load More Replies... Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 3 years ago
My daughter is Dahlia, named after a Phish song. My oldest son is Asher. Not weird but different.
Jimifan 3 years ago
I've got two... One was a young woman named Tequila, which she pronounced "Tech-will-uh" and would get upset when someone used the obvious pronunciation. Another was a Class-A idiot I used to work with who, after having seven daughters, finally got his poor wife to churn out a son. The name he put on the birth certificate? "My Son." His horrified wife protested loudly, so the words were put together and the kid's name became Myson.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
My Aunty wanted to name her firstborn son Crud Logan. Her last name is Berry (by marriage). She changed her mind when 12-year-old me fell on the floor laughing "Crud Loganberry!" She looked a little embarrassed but found it funny too and changed her mind to Anthony Carl. When she gave birth, she had a girl. She decided Toni Charlotte would be best. I'm turning 50 tomorrow, and we all still get a chuckle out of it. Toni also jokes "Imagine my initials if I had been called Joanne!"
Simon Murray 3 years ago
When I was born my dad wanted to call me Thor, my mother objected because it was a brand of washing machine at the time. It would have been an epic name by the mid 2010s but growing up in the 80s would have been rough with a name like that
Death Metal Kitty 3 years ago
Ahem... some poor child in Singapore is named Abcde. Serious. Made the news.
SoozeeQ 3 years ago
Apparently, it's pronounced "Ab-See-Dee", and the parents get upset if people pronounce it like the alphabet.
Load More Replies... Aragorn II Elessar 3 years ago
If my future SO gives birth to our male child in the vehicle on the way to the hospital he’s gonna be named Carson. No other option.
Uncommon Boston 3 years ago
The name isn't offensive or weird. Sounds okay to me. Inside joke is funny, the kid might find humor in how he was named.
Load More Replies... Uncommon Boston 3 years ago
I wanted a daughter named Clover, but her last name would have been Rawles. Together it would have been Clover Rawles when said too quickly sounds like coveralls. We had a boy, problem avoided.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
What about the parents who tried to call their daughter "Tallulah does the hula in Hawaii"?! I'm gna look for a link
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago (edited)
https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/546018/Court-orders-name-change
Load More Replies... Siddharthkrishna Kodathala 3 years ago (edited)
I had a girl in my class who always put the word "poopy" before my name. Let me just say it was annoying and stupid. I also had to put up with this for three years... It. Was. HELL.
John Bennick 3 years ago
In 1985 my wife gave birth to twin boys. I wanted to name them Hawkeye and Buffalo Chip. Sober heads prevailed.
Suzanne Griscom 3 years ago
I had an immigrant high school student 20 years ago, whose first and last name together was pronounced TESTACLE, but with no stress on that first syllable [TES]. Not writing his name out because he has enough to deal with. Also had students named Diarrhea (it was the prettiest sounding English word her parents heard in the refugee camp), and kid who went by Tony Hue because his first name is Phuc.
Kiss Army 3 years ago
My MIL was in a shared hospital room when she had my husband and the lady in the next bed could not decide what to name her daughter. The nurses had provided several reference materials for new moms baby name lists, lists of items needed, etc... The lady was looking over the lists and said "That is the perfect name!" She was looking at the baby supply list and ended up naming her baby Pajama (pronounced pag- a- ma). No amount of talking to her would change her mind... poor kid...
Gail 1 year ago
I worked with a lady who had to enter Pajama on a birth certificate too. She also had to enter Placenta, the mom thought it was so pretty!
Load More Replies... Little Ms. Quirky 3 years ago
A parent in china tried to name their child @ because they wanted their child to be unique
Quinn Alexander 3 years ago
JFC before you ever name your baby, imagine every way they can be bullied and IDGAF IF YOU THINK "They would wear it with pride because it's unique" NO THEY F*****G WOULDN'T, THEY WILL DISTANCE THEMSELVES FROM YOU FOREVER.
Arenite 3 years ago
Woody Allen. Kid grew up and changed his name to Ronan. He’s a famous journalist now, Ronan Farrow.
Load More Replies... V Martinez 3 years ago
My sibling & I both have V D for initials. Thx mom. Her initials are B J. We joke that two cases of vd came from a bj. Lol!
B Jones 3 years ago
This deserve a Terry Pratchett quote "The Carter parents were a quiet and respectable Lancre family who got into a bit of a mix-up when it came to naming their children. First, they had four daughters, who were christened Hope, Chastity, Prudence, and Charity, because naming girls after virtues is an ancient and unremarkable tradition. Then their first son was born and out of some misplaced idea about how this naming business was done he was called Anger Carter, followed later by Jealousy Carter, B********y Carter and Covetousness Carter. Life being what it is, Hope turned out to be a depressive, Chastity was enjoying life as a lady of negotiable affection in Ankh-Morpork, Prudence had thirteen children, and Charity expected to get a dollar’s change out of seventy-five pence–whereas the boys had grown into amiable, well-tempered men, and B********y Carter was, for example, very kind to animals. Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
Emma London 3 years ago
In my country the parents have about two months to decide on the name. Also a official name authority has to approve new names, which prevents people from naming their children "Wolverine" or "Stone Cold".
Doggo Froggo 3 years ago (edited)
I have never liked my name so much lol. And it's in a stupid song....
Joanne Hudson 3 years ago
When I was young, the name was often just for legal use. The kids were Buster, Buddy, Champ, Skeeziks, SuzyQ, Pattycake, etc. And the kids can always change it. There was a period of time when my brother (Leston Eugene) demanded to be called Number Seven.
Anna Simpson 3 years ago
I know a couple who gave their son a Gaelic name without taking into consideration that it wouldn't be understood where we live. His name is Foalan. It's pronounced fwhay-lin but people (doctors, teachers etc) always initially pronounce it Fo-a-lan. Had they gone with the english spelling (the main language where we live) it would've been spelt Whalen, which is phoenetically a lot closer to the pronunciation.
Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
An instance with a completely harmless name occurred with me - one of the names my mom considered giving me was Simon. A relative refused to let her give me that name because of the SNL skit where Mike Myers played a character named Simon.
Jay Weigel 3 years ago
When I worked in neonatal, we had a baby girl named Chivas Aspen. One of my co-workers quipped, "I guess we know how she was conceived!"
Kara Reid 3 years ago
Idk if anyone else got this with the name Jkmno but when I seen it I immediately seen noel as the name they were doin. Of course bc of the no l, I'm not sure that's what they were trying to do but it made sense to me so it's possible they were trying to name the kid noel & got creative with the way they spelled it to come to that conclusion. Not everyone would see that or get it but some ppl don't get that everybody doesn't think the same way. Poor kid was probably called no telling what growing up & unfortunately the parents don't think bout what they gotta deal with either. But thought in case no body had said that already it may be worth mentioning but I didn't have time to go thru comments to check so sry if they have said it.
Colin Matthews 3 years ago
I genuinely despise the traditional names ruined by dreadful spelling... And look who hasnt seen some poor kid lumbered with a terrible name by useless adults who struggles. My daughters class has a boy called "onyx". Ffs..
Arenite 3 years ago
Onyx is not a bad name. Just another gemstone name, like Amber, Jade, or Pearl. I knew someone who named his daughter Ruby and went to high school with an Amber.
Load More Replies... Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
That's the reason many countries forbid such names... Why would anyone be so wicked they purposely ruin their child's entire life from birth ? Seriously, freedom is bad.
Elizabeth 3 years ago
Had my paternal grandfather been alive when I was born, my mom was prepared to name me "Georgia May" in order to mess with him, as it was the most southern sounding name she could think of. He was from the north and she came from the south, and apparently this was some kind of running joke/point of contention between them.
Susan Bosse 3 years ago
I worked in Medical Records at a regional medical center years ago. A baby was named Timber Ree. I could just hear the parents calling her to come in the house. "TIMBERRRRRR!!!!" She was shot and killed in a drug deal when she was 21. Front page of the newspaper. Strange as that's always been the only name I remember from my time there even though we had a big list going. I read where she was born (birth record) and then I read where she died (front page).
Logic and Reason 3 years ago
Reminds me of this Olympian, her parents let her choose her own name. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picabo_Street
Fluffy Griffin 3 years ago
I know someone who named their kid Solanus. It's supposedly not super unusual... Anyway, I call him Sunny and she says I'm being childish.
Duchess Raven Waves 3 years ago
Honestly I like some of these names. And dont know why they would be included. Some are dreadful of course but I nearly named my son Judas. Because its beautiful but it has stigma because of the Jesus thing.
Christine 3 years ago
"The Jesus thing" - I've had a long day and I appreciate the laugh! Thanks!
Load More Replies... GlassHalfWay 3 years ago
My friend went to high school with a girl named Marijuana Pepsicola (unknown lastname). She was in sports and had awards in the hallway with her name.
Amanda Panda 3 years ago
Oh how I could contribute to this one. I used to manage a photography company that did Cheer Competitions. I kept a running list of all the ridiculous names I cam across. Twinkle, Sparkle, Bossy, Sassy, Tigre (yes re not er), Karmikazaye topped the list. And yes, I went to dire lengths to confirm each time that they were not nicknames before I added them to my list. These were on the birth certificate.
Amanda Panda 3 years ago
Lastly, I lived near a small Rominichal community in Oklahoma. Sapphire, Diamond, Krystal Chandalier, Emerald, Princess, Precious, Pajama and the like were very common.
Load More Replies... Ayia Grace 3 years ago (edited)
My uncle wanted to name my aunt and his first daughter. Nelia, or Alien spelled backwards. He wanted to name his first child Alien. My aunt managed to talk him out of it, her name is Falen. If you seem someone on Facebook with a daughter name Nelia in 2029ish it's me.
Melissa TO 3 years ago
My friend's sister was a labor and delivery nurse. She told me once she had a mom that wanted to name the baby "Placenta".
Karen Klinck 3 years ago
Placenta is all too common. It ends in 'A'. This will make it a girl's name. I'm not kidding; I wish I was! Any body part or disease that ends in an 'A' is fair game. Another favorite is Cyphillus, which is (I kid you not) onsidered to be a flower name.
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
True story: My great uncle was named, on his birth certificate, Junior. That was his legal name. First name. Junior. Flash forward 80 years, and I meet my husgband's great-uncle... whose legal first name was Junior. Not X Whatever Junior. Junior Surname. Both times. And not related. (We checked!)
Lsai Aeon 3 years ago
There's twins, Brick and Stone last name Wall; Sunny Dayann and her sister Misty last name Night, The Hogg children (yes those are real). I've heard of at least one Spanish only speaking mother in America naming her daughter Placenta. There are several others that I can't remember at the moment...
Susan Stead 3 years ago
When I was doing some ancestry research, I found out that I had a way-back relative named Zebulon. I thought he must be a time traveler or a superhero.
Hannah Edwards 3 years ago
I was going to let my daughter (2 and a half) choose her baby sister’s name . She chose “Parents Lemon” needless to say I didn’t go with it.
Aubrey Baird 3 years ago
My mom is a teacher, and she was telling me how she had a student named, wait for it, "E-Money"!
Celeste Grant 3 years ago
Slightly different but I taught children called cystitis and chlamydia. Bet they grew up wishing the midwife had stepped in and persuaded their parents to choose something else!
Jessica Nametz 3 years ago
I used to collect medical records for insurance companies and the name of a patient/claimant that stood out the most for me: Shasta Orange. It was on all of their legal documents and everything... I still laugh whenever I see that soda....
Coli Erasmus 3 years ago
Used to work in a doctor's reception. One of our regular patients called her baby Euthanasia. When I asked how she came about it, she said she saw the name in a newspaper headline and thought it sounded nice. I didn't have the heart to tell her.
Vicky Zar 3 years ago
Thank god Germany has one important rule for name giving. The name may not be harmfull to the child. In general this means names of famous bad people like Hitler are absolutely forbidden. Then names that seam derogative to the child will not be allowed (like Stupid, Pig, Barbie...). Neither can you name your child like a brand, surname or City. Exception are names that were already used as child names (like Paris, Mercedes, Nike...)
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
I used to work with a lady called Butterfly. Parents had good intentions but it's a weird name for a person
opinionated biatch 3 years ago
work at a school: Uniquewa, Rosevelte, Deaglan, Syanco, Caitilighn, Dynastee, Shannondoa, Zuzanna, Brithny, Nokaphia, Jefurcin, Pocahontas, Royalty
Vicky Zar 3 years ago
Zuzanna is a normal polish name. Its the polish version of Susan (Susanne in German by the way)
Load More Replies... Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
i'm thinking about naming my future child (if i have one) miri rhea for a girl, and beckham james for a boy. miri is from the book princess academy and rhea is my mom's middle name, and beckham is a family name and james is my dad's first name and my dad's dad's first name and one of my brother's middle names
Javiera Gotelli 3 years ago (edited)
In my country we have laws preventing idiot parents from using names that may ridicule their child. It amazes me how "da gReAaTeSt cOuNtrY iN dA wOrlD" is full of people with ridiculous names (and the way some are spelled, csm!). What's with the apostrophes on names? It's fckn moronic, among other things... Funny story though: in my city, a few years ago, some parents wanted to name her daughter "Chañaña". The doctor asked, and they replied something along the lines of "like the singer, you know, Chañaña (Shania) Twain" ... They spelled it phonetically, and wrong because the name doesn't sound like that AT ALL
Logic and Reason 3 years ago
Jesus Christ your hatred of America is beginning to border on straight-up xenophobia. Find something more original to complain about, you don’t even live in America and thus don’t have to deal with the majority of its problems.
Load More Replies... Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
You know what: call your baby whatever you damn well want. I hate this judgemental nonsense. The rest of us can be responsible for teaching our own children not to be playground bullies. And we can all be respectful enough to learn how to pronounce people's names correctly and treat them as whole people with value. F. u. cking hell.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I think Roxy is a nice name and I see your point, except for when the name disrespects the baby.
Load More Replies... Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago (edited)
I like weird names. I think names like John, Sam, Bill and Jenny are as bad as names on this list, and almost as abusive. It isn’t right to give your kid a name everyone else has that has no identity and no thought. As long as you don’t name your kid something insulting or negative or super common, I think it’s all fine.
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