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Woman Plans On Marrying Her BF, Reconsiders Things As He Seems To Have An Allergy To Working
You know that saying, “Opposites attract”? It’s all fun and games until your love for lazy weekends clashes with your partner’s chronic case of the “Monday blues”, but every day of the week! For the poster of this story, work ethic isn’t just a minor difference but a potential dealbreaker as her boyfriend seems to have an allergy to working. For him, sick days are more like mini-vacations, and while she’s hustling through life, he’s cruising on chill mode.
As they started thinking about a future together, she couldn’t help but wonder: is this just a quirky habit or a huge red flag?
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:
Woman wants to move in with her boyfriend, get married and start a family, but starts questioning their future when she realizes he doesn’t like working
Image credits: master1305 (not the actual photo)
The man constantly avoids going to work, takes as many sick days as he can, even if he’s not really sick
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Duplofez
The woman worries about her future with her boyfriend as his shady work ethic makes her thinks he’s unreliable and might cause financial instability
The OP (original poster) has been dating this guy, and things are getting serious. Thoughts of moving in together have been bouncing around in her head. But then, a little worry started gnawing at her. No, it was not about who was going to do the dishes, but about his approach to work—or rather, his masterful ability to dodge it. Now, don’t get me wrong, we all need a day off now and then. But for some folks, “sick days” seem to be more about sipping tea in pajamas and less about actually being, you know, sick.
You see, the OP is the type of woman who powers through, even if she’s feeling a bit under the weather. She’s the kind who believes in showing up, getting the job done, and pushing through the pain. It’s not just about paying the bills but also about taking pride in her work.
But her boyfriend? Let’s just say his approach is a bit more… relaxed. He’s the kind of guy who hears the words “doctor’s note” and thinks “extended vacation.” Minor cold? That’s a free pass to the couch for a week. And when the doctor suggested working from home, he was suddenly hearing, “You deserve a two-week break, my dude.”
Oh, and conveniently enough, those two weeks somehow connected to their upcoming vacation, meaning this guy was going to enjoy a whole month of zero work and maximum chill.
Sounds like a dream, right? Well, not if you’re the one worrying about the future. You see, when you’re young and carefree, it’s easy to laugh off a few too many sick days. But when you start thinking about things like marriage, kids, and you know, adulting, a partner who’s all too happy to skip work becomes less of a quirky trait and more of a potential nightmare.
What if he gets fired because of his “I hate work” attitude? What if he can’t keep a job long enough to provide stability for a family? These were the big questions swirling around in the OP’s head as she tried to figure out if she was being unreasonable or just realistic.
Image credits: master1305 (not the actual photo)
Now, let’s be real—work ethic is one of those unspoken pillars of a healthy relationship. It’s less about bringing home the bacon and more about showing you’re committed, reliable, and willing to pull your weight.
Work ethic is a personal set of values that shapes how someone behaves at work. A strong work ethic means being reliable, engaged, and consistently delivering quality results that contribute to success. However, having a poor work ethic doesn’t stop at missed deadlines or skipped shifts. Eventually, that attitude creeps into personal life, straining relationships, derailing goals, and creating endless tension.
It’s hard to stay motivated when your partner’s idea of commitment is showing up late or barely showing up at all, and that’s a recipe for resentment. After all, a poor work ethic doesn’t just mess with paychecks—it messes with your peace of mind, too. Imagine constantly picking up the slack for someone who thinks hard work is a myth and procrastination is a lifestyle.
But before we go slapping a “lazy” label on the OP’s boyfriend’s forehead, let’s consider this: everyone’s wired differently. For some, work is just a means to an end, a necessary evil to fund the things they actually care about—like hobbies, travel, or just plain old relaxation.
If that’s the case with her boyfriend, it doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. It just means they might need to have a serious chat about their future as they seem to have very different values.
However, this doesn’t necessarily mean their relationship is doomed. According to experts, a relationship can work even if the partners have different life values. The key is figuring out if the differences impact the way each of the partners wants to live their life.
But first things first, having an open and honest conversation about the future is essential. It would be a good idea not to turn what should be a healthy talk into a yelling match. Just sit down with your partner and put all the cards on the table, share your thoughts and try to understand your partner’s perspective.
So, what do you think of this story? Is the OP being unreasonable to be worried about her boyfriend’s work ethic? Drop your thoughts in the comment section.
Netizens say the man’s behavior is a huge red flag, advising the woman to dump him and move on
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
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What do you think ?
Joseph Dixon 4 months ago
I don't know if I've ever liked any of my jobs. With that said, I show up most everyday and get through it. Occasionally I may take a day off randomly to reset, like once or twice a year. I usually go to work no matter what. If someone can't commit to the job that provides them shelter and food, then they can't commit to someone else.
Tabitha 4 months ago
He needs to buckle down and figure out what he wants to do for a living. He obviously hates what he’s doing right now, so he should figure it out, get whatever training he needs, and get started in a career, doing something he actually likes. Then he wouldn’t be calling off work at every opportunity. Yes, it’s immature of him, but he might be a late bloomer. OP should just leave him be, as she’s obviously already on her right track, and more mature than her BF. She needs to find someone who is of a like mind, and similar path as herself, unless she’s a successful woman in her own right, and is looking for a SAHH, in which case her boyfriend might just fit the bill.
Ben Aziza 4 months ago
Whenever i see ppl like this i legit think it is undiagnosed ADHD. At least the possibility of it. It is familiar to how i and other people i know act when doing something that does not release the needed dopamine in our brains. IF IT IS adhd he has 2 options: -One is what you just said summed up perfectly. A career change. Sports, music, creation and teaching those types of jobs that could help with the low dopamine levels (even comedians are full of adhd ppl that cant shut up XD). Meaning you can do them because they are highly stimulating to other parts of the brain that release dopamine in the frontal cortex. -Two he gets medication that increases the dompamine and noradrenaline levels needed to focus on things that you cant focus on. TLDR the inability to hold attention in some cognitive tasks can be indicative of something more like ADHD and the fix is there in two ways. How do i know this? I AM living it right now. Getting my medication in a week or so.
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Paul C 4 months ago
I would scream red flag at this behaviour. Unless you want to have a lifetime of working to support a work shy sponger. I've worked for over 40 years, rarely enjoyed my job, but have taken zero days off skiving in that time. And only taking sick leave when I really, really needed it. Bills have to be paid.
Rowboat 4 months ago
I fully advocate for using up all your PTO and sick leave because you deserve rest and companies don't care about you - if you dropped dead they'd likely have your position up on indeed within a day. However, if it's a consistent issue and they haven't gotten professional help and/or are refusing to do anything to change the situation then it's 100% a red flag. This behaviour can be caused by things like burnout, depression, adhd, etc, but the solution for them is professional help and making consistent changes to improve things.
Load More Replies... Joseph Dixon 4 months ago
I don't know if I've ever liked any of my jobs. With that said, I show up most everyday and get through it. Occasionally I may take a day off randomly to reset, like once or twice a year. I usually go to work no matter what. If someone can't commit to the job that provides them shelter and food, then they can't commit to someone else.
Tabitha 4 months ago
He needs to buckle down and figure out what he wants to do for a living. He obviously hates what he’s doing right now, so he should figure it out, get whatever training he needs, and get started in a career, doing something he actually likes. Then he wouldn’t be calling off work at every opportunity. Yes, it’s immature of him, but he might be a late bloomer. OP should just leave him be, as she’s obviously already on her right track, and more mature than her BF. She needs to find someone who is of a like mind, and similar path as herself, unless she’s a successful woman in her own right, and is looking for a SAHH, in which case her boyfriend might just fit the bill.
Ben Aziza 4 months ago
Whenever i see ppl like this i legit think it is undiagnosed ADHD. At least the possibility of it. It is familiar to how i and other people i know act when doing something that does not release the needed dopamine in our brains. IF IT IS adhd he has 2 options: -One is what you just said summed up perfectly. A career change. Sports, music, creation and teaching those types of jobs that could help with the low dopamine levels (even comedians are full of adhd ppl that cant shut up XD). Meaning you can do them because they are highly stimulating to other parts of the brain that release dopamine in the frontal cortex. -Two he gets medication that increases the dompamine and noradrenaline levels needed to focus on things that you cant focus on. TLDR the inability to hold attention in some cognitive tasks can be indicative of something more like ADHD and the fix is there in two ways. How do i know this? I AM living it right now. Getting my medication in a week or so.
Load More Replies... Paul C 4 months ago
I would scream red flag at this behaviour. Unless you want to have a lifetime of working to support a work shy sponger. I've worked for over 40 years, rarely enjoyed my job, but have taken zero days off skiving in that time. And only taking sick leave when I really, really needed it. Bills have to be paid.
Rowboat 4 months ago
I fully advocate for using up all your PTO and sick leave because you deserve rest and companies don't care about you - if you dropped dead they'd likely have your position up on indeed within a day. However, if it's a consistent issue and they haven't gotten professional help and/or are refusing to do anything to change the situation then it's 100% a red flag. This behaviour can be caused by things like burnout, depression, adhd, etc, but the solution for them is professional help and making consistent changes to improve things.
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