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Dad Posts How He Had To Choose Work Over His Sick Baby In Hopes For Compassion And Support, Gets A Reality Check Instead
For parents, there’s no horror movie or nightmare more frightening than the idea of something bad happening to their kids. Loving moms and dads do everything in their power to protect their little ones, but unfortunately, sometimes life is just out of their control. Health problems, in particular, can be extremely unpredictable and terrifying, so if a child suddenly ends up in the hospital, many parents would drop everything to be with their kid no matter what. But not all parents…
One man recently found himself in a difficult situation, torn between work and personal obligations, and decided to open up about it on LinkedIn. This post was not very well received, so below, you can read it and decide for yourself whether you sympathize with the man or believe he should have logged out of LinkedIn and hopped on the first flight back to his family.
We recognize that this is a bit of a sensitive topic, so please be respectful in the comments, pandas, as we’re not sure if his child is still in the hospital. But we would love to hear your thoughts down below, and then if you’re interested in another Bored Panda article featuring toxic workplace culture, you can find that right here!
More info: Reddit
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One man is being criticized after posting on LinkedIn that he couldn’t be with his baby in the hospital due to work obligations
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Daan Stevens (not the actual photo)
Image credits: aaabigwyattmann4
I’m hesitant to be too hard on this man, as he is clearly going through a lot, and I don’t know what it feels like to be a parent. But as some of the readers pointed out, we always have choices in life. Even if he had to cancel a few meetings or inconvenience his employees or partners for a few days, I’m sure they would understand. Having your newborn child in the hospital certainly must qualify as extenuating circumstances that would let you take some time off from work.
Not to mention the fact that this child is only one month old. In many countries, paid paternity leave is much longer than that, and if this man did not live in the United States, he likely wouldn’t be expected at work in the first place. In Japan, fathers are given 30 weeks off with their full pay. In Spain, fathers are given 12 weeks of paid paternity leave, and in Sweden, fathers can take up to 14 weeks off. It is not this man’s fault that he lives in the US and doesn’t have access to these benefits as a parent, but it does put into perspective how warped the work culture is in America. We should not consider it normal to return back to work immediately after having a child. Parents deserve time off to bond with their little ones and prevent the entire burden from being placed on their partner. And when it comes to having a child in the hospital, it’s a very similar situation.
While this man is off on his business trip, he noted that his wife is left with the responsibility of being at the hospital, dealing with this extremely scary situation, and having to leave their other children in the care of friends or family members who are willing to help out. The stress alone of having a sick child is extremely hard for any parent to take, and they are certainly in need of a support system. We want our partners to be by our sides in every situation, the good, the bad and the ugly. And I can imagine that this man’s wife needs him there, so they can support one another, as no one else can understand exactly what she’s going through at the moment.
Seleni.org has an article detailing how to cope when a child of yours is in the hospital, and writer Amanda MacMillan makes it clear that the stress is inevitable, so the best thing to do is learn how to manage it in a healthy way. “As parents, we’re supposed to be the ones who kiss the boo-boos and make our kids feel better, and when something is serious enough to land them in the hospital, we lose that ability,” says Kelly McElligott, a social worker at Loyola University Medical Center in Chicago, Illinois. “Plus, you’re in an unfamiliar place, you’re not sleeping well, you’re probably in a bit of shock, and you have to balance all of that with making important decisions and being strong for your child.”
McElligott notes that it’s impossible to eliminate all sources of stress, but it can be very helpful to do everything you can to make the process simpler and easier. Enlist a support system, make yourself as comfortable as possible, ensure you have people to talk to, and lean on your partner for support. When both parents are around, they can take turns sleeping, getting food for one another and making sure that they’re taking care of themselves. When only one person has to balance it all, what would normally be overwhelming can become suffocating and impossible.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Have you ever had to choose between your personal and professional lives during a difficult time? Let us know if you would have hopped on a flight back home immediately if you were in this situation, and if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article highlighting the current state of posts on LinkedIn, you can find that right here.
Readers are tearing the father apart, calling him out for prioritizing work over his family
What do you think ?
Nathaniel 2 years ago
How is there even a question of whether or not to go to work? This is your child. There should be no hesitation. Is this dingleberry of a man so enmeshed in the nonsense of LinkedIn that he is blinded to reality?
Sasy 2 years ago
"As I've struggled with emotions today, I have gained a much deeper appreciation for working parents." That line keeping ringing in my ears, does this mean he is not usually a working parent? that he does not consider himself a working parent? Is he an owner of a company that does not usually have to turn up and do work, but this week he has to for some reason? People that work every day and do struggle through children's illnesses, partners obligations etc, do not usually refer to themselves as only just empathising with others supposedly like them.
K-Hey 2 years ago
Yeah, it was that line specifically that caught my attention as well, and pair it with "support watching my older kids" means he should have been theoretically in the "working parents" club for at least 2 years (and that's assuming the older kids are plural because twins, it reads more like 4-5) plus the comment on how there's no commercial airport in Scottsdale... I don't understand the motive, but I think this guy is fibbing. Maybe it's attention, maybe it's to generate content for BP and Newsweek, maybe it's some weird passive aggressive power play POV shift and this is the employer being pissy because he lost important staff to fAmiLy.
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Carol Emory 2 years ago (edited)
To the person that told us about the 3 year gap in working due to her sons Leukemia...I feel for ya. I spent most of my adult life taking care of my Autistic son because of all the issues that would come up requiring me to take him to multiple doctors, therapist, dealing with public schools and behavioral issues. I went to interview for a job as an assistant to a facility that offered programs to developmentally delayed adults. She asked if I had any experience. I said "no." She said "didn't you say you took time off from working to take care of your autistic son?" I said "yes." She leaned over and said "That's experience." Funny none of the other employers thought so. Taking care of a kid with Leukemia is no walk in the park. It's stressful, emotional, and exhausting. But you keep on a brave face for the sake of the kid. Let's see if any of those under-bidding employers could handle it. And I would point that out to them in your next interview.
Carol Emory 2 years ago
I will also present another view on this (please don't downvote.) We have no idea what this guy does for a living. His company may have a contractual obligation that commits them to providing service to a client that can cost them hundreds of thousands of dollars if they don't comply. As for the private plane scenario, that doesn't make him well off. My father was a diesel mechanic. He often flew into Anchorage only to catch a single engine plane that would take him out to the site of his job. Coming back immediately was not an option. But the OP states the wife has another support system there. You know what there is a lot of in Scottsdale...wind farms. That would be a specialized area in which he could not leave.
Load More Replies...
Nathaniel 2 years ago
How is there even a question of whether or not to go to work? This is your child. There should be no hesitation. Is this dingleberry of a man so enmeshed in the nonsense of LinkedIn that he is blinded to reality?
Sasy 2 years ago
"As I've struggled with emotions today, I have gained a much deeper appreciation for working parents." That line keeping ringing in my ears, does this mean he is not usually a working parent? that he does not consider himself a working parent? Is he an owner of a company that does not usually have to turn up and do work, but this week he has to for some reason? People that work every day and do struggle through children's illnesses, partners obligations etc, do not usually refer to themselves as only just empathising with others supposedly like them.
K-Hey 2 years ago
Yeah, it was that line specifically that caught my attention as well, and pair it with "support watching my older kids" means he should have been theoretically in the "working parents" club for at least 2 years (and that's assuming the older kids are plural because twins, it reads more like 4-5) plus the comment on how there's no commercial airport in Scottsdale... I don't understand the motive, but I think this guy is fibbing. Maybe it's attention, maybe it's to generate content for BP and Newsweek, maybe it's some weird passive aggressive power play POV shift and this is the employer being pissy because he lost important staff to fAmiLy.
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 2 years ago (edited)
To the person that told us about the 3 year gap in working due to her sons Leukemia...I feel for ya. I spent most of my adult life taking care of my Autistic son because of all the issues that would come up requiring me to take him to multiple doctors, therapist, dealing with public schools and behavioral issues. I went to interview for a job as an assistant to a facility that offered programs to developmentally delayed adults. She asked if I had any experience. I said "no." She said "didn't you say you took time off from working to take care of your autistic son?" I said "yes." She leaned over and said "That's experience." Funny none of the other employers thought so. Taking care of a kid with Leukemia is no walk in the park. It's stressful, emotional, and exhausting. But you keep on a brave face for the sake of the kid. Let's see if any of those under-bidding employers could handle it. And I would point that out to them in your next interview.
Carol Emory 2 years ago
I will also present another view on this (please don't downvote.) We have no idea what this guy does for a living. His company may have a contractual obligation that commits them to providing service to a client that can cost them hundreds of thousands of dollars if they don't comply. As for the private plane scenario, that doesn't make him well off. My father was a diesel mechanic. He often flew into Anchorage only to catch a single engine plane that would take him out to the site of his job. Coming back immediately was not an option. But the OP states the wife has another support system there. You know what there is a lot of in Scottsdale...wind farms. That would be a specialized area in which he could not leave.
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