Even though we can, at almost any time, Google everything in the world, there is still no way to surpass lived experiences. So, for example, if you are a man, you have no idea what it’s like to live as a woman. Fortunately, one can always ask someone about their life to learn a bit more.
Someone made a post, asking “Women: What is a struggle that women have that men will never fully understand?” and netizens shared their thoughts. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote the posts that you relate to or that taught you something new and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments below.
This post may include affiliate links.
Living in a country where politicians force women to give birth and never even mentioned the responsibility of the father.
Periods. Hormones. Unsafe at night (sometimes day time too). Unsafe to travel alone in some countries. Unsafe to meet strangers on dating apps. Expected to clean and cook for 2 or more people every day. Being told by doctors it's normal to be in pain. Medical standard doses calculated for men and not women. Opinions and feelings often ignored in family talks or at work. Seatbelts calculated to bring optimal safety to men's bodies but not to women's. And a few more things.
That a man’s uninformed opinion is always taken more seriously than a woman’s lived experience
Did a man tell you that? (Before I get crucified, this comment is a joke.)
The unspeakable fatigue of being a women. The hormones, the vigilance, the fear, the need to do things to be seen, heard, paid, acknowledged on that same platforms as men. The expectation to nurture, pander, care, remember, remind and source for everyone else. I’m. Just. So. Tired.
Agreed. What I struggle with is the common societal belief that somehow things are already equal. Feminism is common, right? Women already broke the glass ceiling, right? Men are SAHP too, right? All are true, but that doesn't make things equal for men and women. We're expected to do it all - work, parent, cook, clean, because it's the rare male who'll take it on, and those who do are praised to the skies for "helping" or "babysitting". No, it's their job too. Statistically women make less money, have more familial responsibility and are more likely to experience abuse of any kind. So while there's been progress, no, things are not equal.
The feeling of knowing exactly how to solve a problem but knowing that the man in front of you doesn't accept answers from women.
And feeling their annoyance when you tell them the answer to something and they know you're right.
Exercising with a big chest absolutely sucks. No sports bra really works once you’re over a DDD. Imagine jogging with a two one-liter bottles of Coke strapped to your ribcage. My husband went for a run shirtless today, and I can’t even begin to imagine how effing amazing that must feel.
Not a struggle but gripe.Men are SHALLOW. Many guys look for sexual accommodation without a psychological connection. Guys have demonstrated the inability to mentally satisfy me so I CANNOT ACCOMMODATE sexual desires. Sex would bore ME without a connection that is "meaningful to ME." I do not care that you like what you see. Looks mean nothing to me nor does the size of your ego when I'm mentally turned off. It's not hard to understand but when you're shallow, it is..
Fear. The fear that passing a man while alone on a dark street could lead to a sexual assault and/or death. Not to mention the fear when it’s a group of men.
We live in a world that hates women.
We need to ensure that at least half of the world doesn't. As women we need to love ourselves.
Life really.
Growing up with choices limited, being groomed constantly, put down, leered at, groped, puberty, periods, period pain, pms, gynae problems, medical dismissal, chronic illness, gaslighting, mansplaining, sexual abuse, sexual assault, ‘the biological clock’, body shaming, pregnancy, pregnancy complications, childbirth, childbirth complications, post-natal depression, breast-feeding, doing it all again 2 years later, miscarriages, autoimmune illness, career damage, inequality..
My favourite story about medical dismissal are the doctors who developed the IUD. Starting with Ernest Grafenberg and the men (all male doctors) who developed the device, insertion and removal aren't painful because there are no nerves in the cervix. Sadly our cervixes don't know this. The problem today is the continued belief that there's no need for pain management during these procedures. That's just wrong. Experiences vary but I know several women (and I am one of them) who had significant pain and/or a vagal response. Anyone who claims severe cramping, bleeding, nausea, blurred vision and fainting are symptoms that don't require treatment is out of their GD mind.
Perimenopause.
I'd love if this was higher up. It's something so few people talk about but it can seriously f you up. It can start as early as your late 30s and last 10 years or more, hot flashes, night sweats, hormonal fluctuations and all, you just get to keep having periods. But they'll be irregular. It's like a special slice of f*ck you to round out your meal of being female. Welcome to womanhood.
That women have to "fight for rights" to be human
Sadly there are a lot of people who believe the fight is over and we have enough. No, we don't. We should have the right to make decisions about our own bodies and access to the support and programs we need to do so. We deserve equal pay for equal work and equal opportunities for jobs. We have a right not to be abused or assaulted by our partners or family members or even strangers. We should have access to the same education men have. We need to normalise both parents' contribution to childcare (Dads aren't babysitting, they're parenting). This is just a small portion of what we're still fighting for. There's a long, long way to go before we get close to having the same rights as men. And before the incels come for me, to be clear, this isn't about women's rights being more important than men's rights, it's about our rights being important TOO.
The way we are expected to do everything to placate men. Be pretty, but not so pretty you look unapproachable. Wear make up, but not so it looks like you're wearing make up. Don't earn more than men because that's emasculating, but don't ask men for money because that's gold digging. Be smart, but not smarter than men. If you don't go to the gym you're lazy, but if you do you're just attention seeking. It goes on...
You must be beautiful. But not so beautiful you look like you are trying to get attention.
The songs I hate the most are those where the guy sings about how beautiful a woman is, and especially because she doesn't know how beautiful she is. Lol like he's extra attracted to her because she has low self confidence?
Being in a relationship and doing the bulk of the physical work and ALL the mental work. Getting groceries when they're almost out, getting everyone to appointments, practices, recitals on time. Shopping for clothes or shoes when the kids need something. Men weaponizing their incompetence so they can get out a particular task.
LOL On the flip side, that was an excuse to not have to cover someone's shift (that I always got stuck as the default) when I was working odd shifts. Not like anyone was willing to cover for me when I was bedridden sick. Men who try to BS their way out of doing what they're supposed to be helping with are just adult children who still bring their laundry to their parent's house for his mom to do. Mature men want to be thought of an competent and important to the relationship and family.
Being fearful to reject a flirty advance out of safety concerns.
Not being able to fight a guy off
Seriously the strength difference is pretty shocking. When I was in the best shape of my life I challenged my brother in law to a pushup contest and beat him by an almost embarrassing amount. Later I tried to arm wrestle him and was shocked by how weak my grip and arm strength was in comparison. He wasn't much bigger than me and yes I was in better shape and could do more pushups than him, but he easily overpowered me in a harmless contest and it's scary to know how it would be almost impossible to get out of a similar grip in a dangerous, nefarious situation with a man
The full body changes our bodies go through when creating a tiny person.
The horrendous pain things like PCOS and Endometriosis put us through, the second being so serious of a disease that we can d!e
The fact that the female body has not been closely studied in the medical field even though professionals are fully aware that we are not just small men.
I can vouch for the endometriosis. Mine was so bad that they ended up giving me a hysterectomy at 31 y.o.
The struggles with feminine health and fibroids..If men only knew the hell fibroids can wreak on our bodies, and how delicate the female reproductive system is, I'd like to think they'd be a little more understanding
We can't say no without giving a "reasonable" answer. No is a full sentence. Also, "I don't want to". Same. Don't need reasoning. We don't need to explain ourselves so man feel good about themselves. For example, I won't say, sorry, I don't want to be with you because you're so great and something is wrong with me. I'll say, I don't want to. That's it.
Thinking about going for a countryside walk alone to get more exercise but deciding not to because I am worried that a lot of the walk is out of public view and what if someone attacks me?
There was a lady who went missing during a walk along the perimeter highway in my area. She was missing for about a year or so. She was kidnapped. No one knew who was the perp. It put people nervous about going for walks. Turns out she was kidnapped and killed by someone she knew and they finally caught him.
I mean, America Ferreras entire monologue in the Barbie movie.
The salary difference. Women can be in the same position and still earn less.
If that's the case, I would look into discriminatory wage practices and bring it up with the Human Rights Commission.
Bodyshaming, fatshaming, lookism. I do not know any man who is as self - conscious about the way his body looks as the "most attractive" woman. One more thing... The constant fear of getting pregnant unintendedly even if you use birth control.
Constant fear of violence & abuse. We have to be HYPERVIGILANT about who we allow in our lives. Bc even ppl who pretend to be good can actually be abusive.
My last ex. It's been over 6 years and after him I still have no desire to date.
Having to prove your competence at work, sometimes for months or even years before people begin to take you seriously.
And sometimes you're never taken seriously, as even if you are competent you're still "just" a woman :(
A constant fear of being attacked…not being able to walk alone at night…being concerned going to a car in a parking garage, getting out drinks drugged at a bar…and on and onand on. Nevet really being safe, simply for being a woman.
Feeling guilty your entire adult life for going out of the house not wearing a bra.
Yes! I've always hated the way my nipples "betrayed" my body, whether I was cold or simply the way my own shirt brushed up on them. And now at almost 50 years old I'm still ashamed, because of weight gain and just age, they are droopy and not even, well, even! I hate talking to a man and while I'm making eye contact I can see his eyes slither down 🤮
Doctors ignoring pain, the weight obsession and how many mammograms resulting in callbacks for further tests.
Doctors with specialties where weight is completely irrelevant, say an ear doctor or a dentist, saying "you are overweight and probably have diabetes, I'll book some tests for that". The mental triumf when you don't have diabetes (yet, anyway) when you are tested. ANY doctor who uses the BMI to measure ONE person. That scale is created to measure populations, groups of people, not for individuals. It makes no difference between fat or muscles, so a very fit person with lots of muscles (that weigh more than fat) is told to have a BMI that is too high. MD's ought to know this.
Men acting like they have any idea what it’s like to be a woman with a 28 day (sometimes longer) hormone cycle! There’s literally 4 phases where each phase, our dang hormones fluctuate & sometimes we literally feel like we are losing our minds. They think we are just being dramatic. It’s not just the cramps, bro. It’s 28 days of it all. Men have a 24 hr cycle, THATS IT. It would be lovely if men would do some research on how the woman’s body works.
That we are viewed as objects in a mostly man ruled world. As well as the fact that our image has everything to do with the way we are viewed as existing creatures, instead of just humans.
A friend of mine was married to this guy that I thought was a really nice guy. He was heavily involved in their religious community. He was a super involved dad. He just seemed like a great guy. She let me read a letter he wrote her when they were having issues. There was so much about that letter that was just devastating. I'd have been a wreck if my husband wrote the words he did. One of the things he said was that he judges all women on first meeting them by how f@!$able they are and if they're worth his time. Even knowing he'll never get at chance to f them, he still judges them. If he doesn't find them worthy, he doesn't give them the time of day. They're worth nothing to him. This from a married man who wasn't actually seeking to sleep with these women. But if he couldn't even fantasize about you, then you're nothing. It's so gross knowing some men are like this.
Fronting up to work having just had a miscarriage
Being able to be ambitious, have a demanding career and children. Somehow that’s expected from men, but women are bad mothers when they want the same.
Not being respected for NOT wanting a child, as if we are some kind of mental aberrant! I never wanted children. Just no. Doesn't mean I hate them or don't respect those that do, it's just not for me.
Same! I like being around kids, but that doesn't mean I want to raise one.
Load More Replies...Not being given promotions after having a child cause we couldn’t possibly do two things at once.
Samuel L. Jackson uses the phrase quite a bit.
Load More Replies...Finding job when u are 20-35yo. If u don't have kids they assume that u will start a family soon. And they don't want to pay for your maternity leave. Even if u tell them u don't want kids...If u have small kids then they think u will be at home all the time because kids are ill very often. In both scenarios u are not hired. They rather choose man
Sneezing on day 2 of your period.
Same with coughing. And my boss asking if I really needed to use the toilet again after 15 minutes.
that you do not get the same opportunities and exposure as men but also have to be SIGNIFICANTLY better than them to be acknowledged. make it make sense.
Listening to your husband tell you how silly you are for taking safety precautions instead of locking the door when he leaves.
For people who are in the situation where it's remotely possible to unintentionally get pregnant, the worry that you might have gotten pregnant.
And sometimes when you're absolutely sure you're not pregnant, you'll decline an alcoholic drink or mention your period is running late, and someone will accuse you of being pregnant.
Living in a women’s body in this world.
I notice the pressure isn't coming from men, but other women. We compare ourselves a lot to other females, and other females know it. We get more criticism of our looks by other women. If you think about it, men don't care about how perfect our eyebrows look, they actually hate the eyelash extension and super long, pointy nails, and most, average men, really don't care about our weight that much. Good hygiene, a decent personality, self-confidence, being self-efficient is enough. If not, they're not for you.
The fact that because we are attractive to men, they think they can get us to do/say/be anything for them. And they will treat us well until they get what they want, and then it’s like we never existed.
"You're sooo beautiful, you're a goddess." "Sorry, I'm not interested in dating right now." "Well, you're too ugly to date anyway!".
Loss of sexual desire.
I would rather just cuddle. A back massage feels 1000% better than sex at this point. What's insulting is when people say "You must have never had good sex hahaha". Not at all. I've just experienced it and I'm tired. Sex is very physically demanding and just don't have the energy for it anymore, it's messy, sweaty, and can be uncomfortable. Perhaps those people never had a good back massage, getting your knots kneaded. It can feel orgasmic.
Being attracted to your number one predator, then being shamed for being weary of them.
How they are the biggest threat we face all day everyday
pregnancy & periods.
As a woman I have had this conversation many many times. Now as a black woman I want you to take all of the above and now add in the let's call it ever so slight nuance of being a black woman. Take all of what we agreed upon above and add being black In this country add another level.
You are absolutely right. As far as discrimination, inequality, and medical treatment, among other things, black women absolutely have it the hardest.
Load More Replies...My friend was telling me that once she was at a public pool and an older man called her "sweetheart" while 100% was staring at her breasts. She is a minor btw, so it just really makes me want to carbonate this guy's bloodstream.
I can't imagine calling an adult that isn't a significant other "Sweetheart". That's gross
Load More Replies...One thing I have as a woman and I see this on a daily basis is women (not all) don't champion other women! We all know the struggles of being in a male dominated world but WE can be so nasty/b****y and jealous! We should celebrate confidence, good brains, beauty, success etc because not all men do, so WE should celebrate each other as this is an AH world that we have to fight to be noticed, but we can be awful at times! Celebrate all the differences we have because we need to understand that no matter what/how a woman is, there's a place for her! If we don't, no-one will!!!!
We women need to stand together and never mind our varying skin colors, ethnic backgrounds, etc. Remember the great song by the late Helen Reddy. We need to unite and fight for our rights. Look what happened when the Suffragettes banded together and raised hell.
Load More Replies...How early the predatory behavior of men starts. I was ten the first time I got groped. I remember having conversations walking down the street as a middle schooler with my friends about how it's good there are three of us because we'd be less of a target, and I remember being terrified walking alone. Men getting snippy when you don't respond to them while walking alone- I do not have to be polite to you nor do I have to respond, you are a stranger and I owe you nothing, please just let me go home. Harassment being brushed aside as "boys being boys" or something everyone goes through. When I was in 8th grade at summer camp, there was this boy, the son of an important politician in the state of Colorado, who was well known for perving on us girls. He'd grab girls in hugs and moan at them or call them "mommy". He groped me in the swimming pool. Camp staff received complaints, including from me after the pool incident. They gave a lecture on appropriate swimwear 1/
and asked him not to return (but didn't expel him). We get leered at from a young age by men much older than us who know we're underage. We end up joking about these experiences because otherwise you'd cry (I joke about the WW2 veteran who catcalled me after my high school marching band walked in a Memorial Day parade, and I wasn't scared because I can run faster than a 98yo man, but while I'm joking it's upsetting that we have to live with catcalling). Also how expensive it is to be female. The brand of tampons I use is $11 per box, and it's not like they're fancy. Bras are $30 for a cheap one, and they're just a bit of fabric and a wire. Women's razors are more expensive than men's. Not to mention the expensive goods like makeup that we're expected to wear or else it's ugly and unprofessional, because we women are supposed to always be proper and pretty for men to enjoy looking at. How we must care for others' feelings more than our own, always be accommodating and polite, and 2/
Load More Replies...#51 - saying your a feminist being taken completely out of context. I believe that we should be treated as equals. That's it. I'm not out there to shame every man in the world, nor do I hate anyone based on their gender. I'm not about to burn my bra in your face and start scream ranting at you, I just want you to treat me as an equal and will stand up for myself when that's not the case.
Most interesting to me was "If there was an evening curfew, where men could not be on the streets from 6:00 PM to 8:00 AM, what would you do?" And the response was "I'd walk around at night."
I'm a runner and I like to run or walk to clear my head. Nothing irks me more than getting catcalled. It isn't a compliment, at worst it might be a threat.
Load More Replies...At one of my more invested jobs, I swear the three male managers bullied me to quit so they wouldn't have to listen to me trying to keep things professional while they acted like jocks and treated me and the rest of the staff like we were several level below them on a human scale. I finally quit when a security guard showed me his erection through this pants and phallushead boss, trainer, AND ops manager took his side. I found it interesting that I was the only white woman, and they were all black men. Racism goes both ways, and it was OBVIOUS they didn't like me.
You would have thought I worked at a bar the way some of the staff and most of the management behaved. Nope, we were all in corporate, and it was a massive corporation that we all know and use their products.
Load More Replies...I think just understanding that sex isn't a mathematical equation. An equation with rules that you make up yourself and decide what = sex for you. 'I was nice and bought dinner, we've been on 3 dates, I'm a good guy, you flirted with me. Therefore, you owe me sex. If you don't give it to me, you're a b!tch.' I'm so tired of some guys' obsessive focus on sex. I love sex, too, but I don't know many women that make men feel as bad as some men make women feel because they just don't think of it the way they do. And we aren't keeping it from you as some sort of punishment and we aren't waiting for you to figure out what you can do to make me want to have sex. It isn't like you need to figure out the password.
Not wanting to have kids. Everybody - actually including women - will automatically dismiss your wants as "that´ll change when you have a kid" and similar remarks, almost always accompanied with the statement that "I don´t know what I´m talking about" and/or "what I am losing on". I am not losing on anything. I DO NOT WANT KIDS. Funny how when a man says that, everyone is OK with it and it´s completely normal. When a woman says it, everybody loses their sh*t on her as if they would want to burn her at a stake. Sheesh.
I see this changing, but VERY slowly, and only a tiny bit. There's a LONG way to go on this front, I'm afraid, but I'm hopeful that we'll get to a place where it isn't just assumed that every woman wants to be a mother, and that women will just be left alone about it. I might be too optimistic, though.
Load More Replies...It's almost like most women are experiencing the same issues. 🤔
Load More Replies...I'm a woman working in a male dominated field. I've been working here for years and I've had co-workers who have been here for literal months try to tell me how to do my job. I even had an asshat of a co-worker spy on me through the security cameras then call me and tried to order me to do something. Apparently I "shouldn't get so worked up about it" though and that I should "just ignore them". Yeah. After being spied on? Sure man.
The other guest: look after your drink better, don't just trust men not to attack you. Kelly: so you want women to be weak and helpless ? You don't want women to be able to fight back ? You like victims, you're a predator
What i havent seen mentioned her is not just women but young girls that are to become women and some way too early too by forced marriage, not allowing them to school, having to cover up even in hot weather, and then making the women believe this is normal as their society and the men have always done it this way and refuse to change
I work in a female dominated industry and when talking to men they comment that it must be an easy job if mostly women do it. No, no its not an easy job its requires you to know a lot, know a lot of nuances and exceptions to the rules, you have to be able to manage people in stressful situations and you have to have good fine motor skills. Honestly if one more bloke says my job is easy because women do it i will throw a phone book at him.
I just don't like how women are considered non-sexual and not desirable at all once they reach certain age. Even if they are smart, successful, really good looking and stylish, society treats them as garbage, someone who can not possibly be desired by anyone.
Of the last 6 bosses I had, 5 were women. The only one I had a problem with was the man. We had communication issues and I ended up having to take communication seminars out of state (I hate travel and for some reason the company liked to spend money that way). Turned out he had a brain tumor and ended up dying. Sadly, I missed his funeral.
When it comes to WOMEN, men are at least 90% undereducated, miseducated, or 100% totally non-educated. There are no programs on this planet that teaches, deliberately, 90% of the concerns of women indicated in this article. The patriarchy of the planet is devoid of any real sense of the true human make-up, in the many juxtapositions of the male in relationship to/with the female, of the species. Men are BASICALLY IGNORANT, WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN, even when it comes... "doing what comes nat'cherlly."
I hate that even little girls are viewed as sex objects by too many men. It's so gross and disgusting.
So glad to see this post was written by a man! Not surprised it is Justin Sandberg; he’s my favorite BP writer. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Well done! As a trans man, these were painfully relatable experiences that I have the privilege of not having to deal with anymore, which is horrifically unfair. I stand with you, ladies! ✊🏼
Didn't this used to be 65 struggles? What's with BP suddenly cutting/re-editing their content?
Okay, physically I am female and I identify as a woman but mentally, how I navigate life, is so much more male. I joke that I'll probably die from something cause I forget I'm female. I'm thinking it's because I'm fat, do not care about what others think, and do not have a period (birth control). This means that I really don't get harassed by males on a regular basis, I'm not pretty enough for someone to be mad at me if I reject them (if they even ask in the first place), and don't have to deal with the agonizing menstrual cycle. I have experienced the doctor not taking me seriously but I felt that was more due to my mental health diagnosis. Of course, anyone wearing women's garments are a victim of crazy sizing and no pockets. I just, I think I'm just shocked to how much I can't relate to the majority of this article. However, I know it all exists and will stand with other women.
there are more layers here: some men make the privileged top, but others make the voiceless, rightless bottom. the women float in the middle, but those included in the system are as bad as the system itself. and yes, on earth they are the strong gender, the men that happen to be tougher than them are pure maniacs, not a normal reference.
It is shameful that many medical issues are dismissed for woman or doctors being incompetent because of outdated practices and plain ignorance... Also all the creepy s**t woman have to deal with... I will give my perspective as a somewhat typical man. I dont understand how but some men slip through the cracks. they either never make a decent group of friends or they made some incel group. Mine was a colorful group we kept eachother adjusted... There was a legit threat of violence if any of us did something creepy. We all in one form or another had healthy relationships with women from all walks of life... Friends, Gfs, Family, teachers coworkers, and people we employ like doctors etc... So again i don't understand how some men can act in such a threatening way? Anyone who crosses the line to violence of SA is an unsalvegable animal that needs to be put down.Anyone else needs some serious help they could be a sociopath that was never treated nicely.They get a chance at redemption.
Some of these are good and relatable, some are fear mongering, and the last one is just strange. Mixed article, but mostly fine
That is plain unhinged my man. Cant blame one generation for another generation's mistakes. I am not my father. My mom is not my sister. Completely and utterly insane what you are saying.
Load More Replies...Have you considered that no woman who knows you well would bother mentioning any of this to you because of your attitude towards women blah blah blah?
Load More Replies...The danger you face in the world as a man is simply not the same as the danger a woman faces.
Load More Replies...Sounds like you’re the one with a “weakness in mental setup”. You don’t understand neurobiology, misogyny, or systemic sexism and, given how incomprehensible your writing is, I doubt you even understand those as words, let alone complex systems or concepts.
Load More Replies...As a woman I have had this conversation many many times. Now as a black woman I want you to take all of the above and now add in the let's call it ever so slight nuance of being a black woman. Take all of what we agreed upon above and add being black In this country add another level.
You are absolutely right. As far as discrimination, inequality, and medical treatment, among other things, black women absolutely have it the hardest.
Load More Replies...My friend was telling me that once she was at a public pool and an older man called her "sweetheart" while 100% was staring at her breasts. She is a minor btw, so it just really makes me want to carbonate this guy's bloodstream.
I can't imagine calling an adult that isn't a significant other "Sweetheart". That's gross
Load More Replies...One thing I have as a woman and I see this on a daily basis is women (not all) don't champion other women! We all know the struggles of being in a male dominated world but WE can be so nasty/b****y and jealous! We should celebrate confidence, good brains, beauty, success etc because not all men do, so WE should celebrate each other as this is an AH world that we have to fight to be noticed, but we can be awful at times! Celebrate all the differences we have because we need to understand that no matter what/how a woman is, there's a place for her! If we don't, no-one will!!!!
We women need to stand together and never mind our varying skin colors, ethnic backgrounds, etc. Remember the great song by the late Helen Reddy. We need to unite and fight for our rights. Look what happened when the Suffragettes banded together and raised hell.
Load More Replies...How early the predatory behavior of men starts. I was ten the first time I got groped. I remember having conversations walking down the street as a middle schooler with my friends about how it's good there are three of us because we'd be less of a target, and I remember being terrified walking alone. Men getting snippy when you don't respond to them while walking alone- I do not have to be polite to you nor do I have to respond, you are a stranger and I owe you nothing, please just let me go home. Harassment being brushed aside as "boys being boys" or something everyone goes through. When I was in 8th grade at summer camp, there was this boy, the son of an important politician in the state of Colorado, who was well known for perving on us girls. He'd grab girls in hugs and moan at them or call them "mommy". He groped me in the swimming pool. Camp staff received complaints, including from me after the pool incident. They gave a lecture on appropriate swimwear 1/
and asked him not to return (but didn't expel him). We get leered at from a young age by men much older than us who know we're underage. We end up joking about these experiences because otherwise you'd cry (I joke about the WW2 veteran who catcalled me after my high school marching band walked in a Memorial Day parade, and I wasn't scared because I can run faster than a 98yo man, but while I'm joking it's upsetting that we have to live with catcalling). Also how expensive it is to be female. The brand of tampons I use is $11 per box, and it's not like they're fancy. Bras are $30 for a cheap one, and they're just a bit of fabric and a wire. Women's razors are more expensive than men's. Not to mention the expensive goods like makeup that we're expected to wear or else it's ugly and unprofessional, because we women are supposed to always be proper and pretty for men to enjoy looking at. How we must care for others' feelings more than our own, always be accommodating and polite, and 2/
Load More Replies...#51 - saying your a feminist being taken completely out of context. I believe that we should be treated as equals. That's it. I'm not out there to shame every man in the world, nor do I hate anyone based on their gender. I'm not about to burn my bra in your face and start scream ranting at you, I just want you to treat me as an equal and will stand up for myself when that's not the case.
Most interesting to me was "If there was an evening curfew, where men could not be on the streets from 6:00 PM to 8:00 AM, what would you do?" And the response was "I'd walk around at night."
I'm a runner and I like to run or walk to clear my head. Nothing irks me more than getting catcalled. It isn't a compliment, at worst it might be a threat.
Load More Replies...At one of my more invested jobs, I swear the three male managers bullied me to quit so they wouldn't have to listen to me trying to keep things professional while they acted like jocks and treated me and the rest of the staff like we were several level below them on a human scale. I finally quit when a security guard showed me his erection through this pants and phallushead boss, trainer, AND ops manager took his side. I found it interesting that I was the only white woman, and they were all black men. Racism goes both ways, and it was OBVIOUS they didn't like me.
You would have thought I worked at a bar the way some of the staff and most of the management behaved. Nope, we were all in corporate, and it was a massive corporation that we all know and use their products.
Load More Replies...I think just understanding that sex isn't a mathematical equation. An equation with rules that you make up yourself and decide what = sex for you. 'I was nice and bought dinner, we've been on 3 dates, I'm a good guy, you flirted with me. Therefore, you owe me sex. If you don't give it to me, you're a b!tch.' I'm so tired of some guys' obsessive focus on sex. I love sex, too, but I don't know many women that make men feel as bad as some men make women feel because they just don't think of it the way they do. And we aren't keeping it from you as some sort of punishment and we aren't waiting for you to figure out what you can do to make me want to have sex. It isn't like you need to figure out the password.
Not wanting to have kids. Everybody - actually including women - will automatically dismiss your wants as "that´ll change when you have a kid" and similar remarks, almost always accompanied with the statement that "I don´t know what I´m talking about" and/or "what I am losing on". I am not losing on anything. I DO NOT WANT KIDS. Funny how when a man says that, everyone is OK with it and it´s completely normal. When a woman says it, everybody loses their sh*t on her as if they would want to burn her at a stake. Sheesh.
I see this changing, but VERY slowly, and only a tiny bit. There's a LONG way to go on this front, I'm afraid, but I'm hopeful that we'll get to a place where it isn't just assumed that every woman wants to be a mother, and that women will just be left alone about it. I might be too optimistic, though.
Load More Replies...It's almost like most women are experiencing the same issues. 🤔
Load More Replies...I'm a woman working in a male dominated field. I've been working here for years and I've had co-workers who have been here for literal months try to tell me how to do my job. I even had an asshat of a co-worker spy on me through the security cameras then call me and tried to order me to do something. Apparently I "shouldn't get so worked up about it" though and that I should "just ignore them". Yeah. After being spied on? Sure man.
The other guest: look after your drink better, don't just trust men not to attack you. Kelly: so you want women to be weak and helpless ? You don't want women to be able to fight back ? You like victims, you're a predator
What i havent seen mentioned her is not just women but young girls that are to become women and some way too early too by forced marriage, not allowing them to school, having to cover up even in hot weather, and then making the women believe this is normal as their society and the men have always done it this way and refuse to change
I work in a female dominated industry and when talking to men they comment that it must be an easy job if mostly women do it. No, no its not an easy job its requires you to know a lot, know a lot of nuances and exceptions to the rules, you have to be able to manage people in stressful situations and you have to have good fine motor skills. Honestly if one more bloke says my job is easy because women do it i will throw a phone book at him.
I just don't like how women are considered non-sexual and not desirable at all once they reach certain age. Even if they are smart, successful, really good looking and stylish, society treats them as garbage, someone who can not possibly be desired by anyone.
Of the last 6 bosses I had, 5 were women. The only one I had a problem with was the man. We had communication issues and I ended up having to take communication seminars out of state (I hate travel and for some reason the company liked to spend money that way). Turned out he had a brain tumor and ended up dying. Sadly, I missed his funeral.
When it comes to WOMEN, men are at least 90% undereducated, miseducated, or 100% totally non-educated. There are no programs on this planet that teaches, deliberately, 90% of the concerns of women indicated in this article. The patriarchy of the planet is devoid of any real sense of the true human make-up, in the many juxtapositions of the male in relationship to/with the female, of the species. Men are BASICALLY IGNORANT, WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN, even when it comes... "doing what comes nat'cherlly."
I hate that even little girls are viewed as sex objects by too many men. It's so gross and disgusting.
So glad to see this post was written by a man! Not surprised it is Justin Sandberg; he’s my favorite BP writer. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Well done! As a trans man, these were painfully relatable experiences that I have the privilege of not having to deal with anymore, which is horrifically unfair. I stand with you, ladies! ✊🏼
Didn't this used to be 65 struggles? What's with BP suddenly cutting/re-editing their content?
Okay, physically I am female and I identify as a woman but mentally, how I navigate life, is so much more male. I joke that I'll probably die from something cause I forget I'm female. I'm thinking it's because I'm fat, do not care about what others think, and do not have a period (birth control). This means that I really don't get harassed by males on a regular basis, I'm not pretty enough for someone to be mad at me if I reject them (if they even ask in the first place), and don't have to deal with the agonizing menstrual cycle. I have experienced the doctor not taking me seriously but I felt that was more due to my mental health diagnosis. Of course, anyone wearing women's garments are a victim of crazy sizing and no pockets. I just, I think I'm just shocked to how much I can't relate to the majority of this article. However, I know it all exists and will stand with other women.
there are more layers here: some men make the privileged top, but others make the voiceless, rightless bottom. the women float in the middle, but those included in the system are as bad as the system itself. and yes, on earth they are the strong gender, the men that happen to be tougher than them are pure maniacs, not a normal reference.
It is shameful that many medical issues are dismissed for woman or doctors being incompetent because of outdated practices and plain ignorance... Also all the creepy s**t woman have to deal with... I will give my perspective as a somewhat typical man. I dont understand how but some men slip through the cracks. they either never make a decent group of friends or they made some incel group. Mine was a colorful group we kept eachother adjusted... There was a legit threat of violence if any of us did something creepy. We all in one form or another had healthy relationships with women from all walks of life... Friends, Gfs, Family, teachers coworkers, and people we employ like doctors etc... So again i don't understand how some men can act in such a threatening way? Anyone who crosses the line to violence of SA is an unsalvegable animal that needs to be put down.Anyone else needs some serious help they could be a sociopath that was never treated nicely.They get a chance at redemption.
Some of these are good and relatable, some are fear mongering, and the last one is just strange. Mixed article, but mostly fine
That is plain unhinged my man. Cant blame one generation for another generation's mistakes. I am not my father. My mom is not my sister. Completely and utterly insane what you are saying.
Load More Replies...Have you considered that no woman who knows you well would bother mentioning any of this to you because of your attitude towards women blah blah blah?
Load More Replies...The danger you face in the world as a man is simply not the same as the danger a woman faces.
Load More Replies...Sounds like you’re the one with a “weakness in mental setup”. You don’t understand neurobiology, misogyny, or systemic sexism and, given how incomprehensible your writing is, I doubt you even understand those as words, let alone complex systems or concepts.
Load More Replies...