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We call vacuuming, cleaning, and cooking “chores” because they are work, and nobody actually wants to do them. We do them because we have to. And that burden usually falls on the shoulders of women in the family. The Pew Research Center published a report in April of 2023 that revealed even wives who are primary earners spend more time on childcare and housework.

One Redditor wanted to hear the opinions of other women on the topic. She recently asked on r/TwoXChromosomes to provide examples of how their partners weaponize incompetence and what excuses they usually use. And the women of Reddit did not disappoint.

The curious Redditor u/Business-Wrangler-61 was kind enough to have a short chat with Bored Panda. You can read our conversation with her below!

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#1

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores Told me he’d let his cleaning lady go as soon as we went official.
You know…since he now has me.


I laughed in his face for several minutes. Told him to call, apologise profusely and beg for her back. Ended it with him as he wanted a mother not a lover.

F**kSakez , Liliana Drew Report

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The pigeon
The pigeon
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why didn't he do that when she moved in? Did he expect her to come over and do the laundry or some sh:t? That's a different level of absurdity. (Not saying it isn't crazy anyway.). 

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"The post was a spur-of-the-moment thing, prompted by someone accusing me [of] keeping the forks in an illogical place so they couldn't empty the dishwasher," u/Business-Wrangler-61 told Bored Panda. "They are in the drawer with all the other cutlery where he has found a fork when he needs one many times," the Redditor clarified.

She believes that situations like this are common when people live together. And, in her opinion, it’s not only men that can weaponize incompetence. "I think that a lot of people, often, but not exclusively women, struggle with inept or unwilling partners."

"It is infuriating but also ridiculous, and I wanted to hear the daft excuses other women have heard. It can't just be me. And sure enough, lots of people knew exactly what I was talking about. I enjoyed the sisterhood in mocking these 'incompedances.'"

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#2

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores I think the winner comes from a man I know (not my partner, thankfully), who said the following about why he never helped cook: "Well, MY time is valuable." Really cuts to the chase, right?.

ConcentrateTrue , Hannah Busing Report

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Susie Elle
Susie Elle
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That really says everything you need to know about this person

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#3

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores I don't know but my ex husband took me to court and said that I didn't give the baby enough baths as a reason he should get full custody(disagreement about baby skin care). When the judge asked him why he didn't give the baths then he couldn't understand the question? He was legit confused because he was just the dad and dads don't do baths.

toasterchild , Nathan Dumlao Report

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Any
Any
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8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So...he wants full custody, doesn't know about shít concerning children and doesn't see that he has to do it, if he has full custody.... so he would just search for a new wife and leave it to her? WTF. Good riddance.

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The Redditor admits that she's not a stranger to hearing all kinds of excuses from men. "I coped with those behaviors all my life, but the only solution I found is leaving. They don't want to change, and after a while, the pretending not to see the mess or what the children need becomes an insidious form of abuse."

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u/Business-Wrangler-61 also agrees that we as a society (both men and women) are becoming more and more educated about the division of housework and what the mental load is.

"We are absolutely becoming more educated, but recent development worries me. I think men always knew how but didn't want to, and increasingly now, especially in the US, people advocate more traditional gender dynamics. I don't like it one bit," the Redditor adds.
#4

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores "I didn't do it because I need you to make me a chore chart so I know what I need to do"

*Makes chore chart*

"I didn't do it because you didn't remind me of what was on the chore chart"

GET IN THE BIN YOU ABSOLUTE CHILD

*dw guys this guy is looong gone from my life and I have never known such peace.

Virtual_Pea_7816 , Lisa Fotios Report

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The pigeon
The pigeon
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did he need gold star stickers after he completed a task too? 

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#5

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores Someone else’s ex proudly declared he couldn’t even boil an egg. I asked him if it was a mental thing or a physical thing that stopped him. Oooo… touched on his “manliness”. LOL.

CinnamonBlue , Anton Nazaretian Report

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AlchemisT
AlchemisT
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you ask, they can take care of themselves even in the wild, but they cannot prepare even one meal in daily life. TERRIBLE (I'm not a man hater, I just can't stand stupid people.)

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#6

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores My ex said he didn’t know how to use the washing machine. Also argued that men and women have different vision and men can’t actually see what needs cleaning and that’s why they don’t do it. .

MaxGoldfinch25 , RDNE Stock project Report

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Although 'the mental load' has become a trendy buzzword on the Internet, it's still useful to know what the exact definition is. "The mental load is the decision-making, planning, and organizing that goes into keeping our lives together," life coach and educator Laura Danger told Bored Panda in an earlier interview.

"For example, if you're planning a meal for your family, you have to consider your family's food preferences, allergies, schedules, dietary restrictions and needs, and so much more. The mental load is making sure all of the boxes are checked off and also that each task interacts just the right way with all of the other tasks. Our lives are like big machines, and it takes mental labor to fit all of the gears together," Danger explained.
#7

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores My ex wouldn’t ever start dinner even if I was working late because he needed to check what to cook with me first. He would say ‘If I just start something you won’t be happy because you’re picky’. I believe this was in reference to a point in time about 5 years prior where I was pregnant and declined some meals due to morning sickness. I had reassured him a million times that he could start cooking anything on the meal plan (yes I would even write out a f*****g plan!!). I’d still get the ‘you’re picky’ excuse.

Adorable-Condition83 , Aaron Thomas Report

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Sue User
Sue User
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once.told my ex i wanted something done a certain way. Just once.He pulled that out as an example of how unreasonable and picky i was during arguments for years.

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#8

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores My partner is an amazing woman who would never pull this s**t, but my ex-husband was the king of stupid excuses. Here are some of his greatest hits:


"I can't do dishes because my ex used to nag me about it and every time I'm doing dishes, I just hear her voice nagging me."


"I figured you'd want me to sleep since I worked all week." (After sleeping until 11 AM on a day we were moving.) 


"I can't tell which clothes go to which kid, and that's why I didn't fold the laundry and put it away." (The kids were 6 years old and 6 months old. They didn't wear the same size.) .

ifnotmewh0 , cottonbro studio Report

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SadieCat17 (she/her)
SadieCat17 (she/her)
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would like to thank straight man children everywhere for pushing other women over the edge into batting for my team <3

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#9

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores My ex. He couldn't help fold towels because he 'didn't know which were medium and which were large'.

He couldn't do the food shop because he'd 'get it wrong' but I also had to time when to ask him, make sure it wasn't during drinking time, or when he was too hungover, since I didn't drive. He wouldn't wait for too long so he'd say I'd have to get the important stuff and could get the rest 'later' which is a magical time that never came. And I'd be expected to make meals out what I'd managed to grab in the 20 mins he was ok to be at the shop. I once tried to walk to the shop in 30+ degree heat and a mutual friend drove past me and gave me a lift. He was embarrassed because they asked why he hadn't taken me.

I could never have leftovers because he'd thought they were for him and dealing with his bad mood over it was worse than letting him eat whatever he wanted. So I'd make the meal, tidy up after it, box up leftovers, and put them in the fridge.

If I ate them, he would tell me he had wanted it. If I didn't eat it and it went bad, it was my fault I didn't remind him to eat it. If I had a sandwich and left him the leftovers, he would have wanted the sandwich and I ruined it for him.

It got to the point I didn't even pick something to watch when he was out. Because I'd have to hear every thought that entered his head about what I watched when he got in and saw it on TV. If it was a movie he hadn't seen 'he couldn't watch it now' if it was something I alone enjoyed he'd ask why I'd watch such awful things and ask how I could enjoy it while poking fun at it.

When I'd asked him to do a task, it went undone for months, then he was 'about to do that' when I did it.

He 'didn't see dirt'. Or he didn't deem it dirty, therefore cleaning wasn't required. One day he said 'it needs mopped in here.' I said 'are you going to mop?' He literally laughed in my face.

The week after I left him, he asked me how to work the washing machine because his clothes were stiff.

The week after that I got a text meant to make me feel really sorry for him. He said 'I'm moving, you're so much better at packing than I am, I'll end up with just a spoon and a mug'.

I wrote back 'at least you can have a cup of tea'. That was the last time I spoke to him.

significantmorsel , Karolina Grabowska Report

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Ace
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Controlling and narcissistic. almost to a gaslighting level of abuse. Glad they're out of that now.

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The statistics show that women tend to take on more of the mental load than men in families. "Even the most progressive partnerships slip into this dynamic," Danger told Bored Panda back then. "The social messaging that men should define themselves through work and women should define themselves through care and domestic labor is loud!"

"Domestic labor is feminized labor. Housework is seen as women's work, so women are taught to do it, encouraged to do it well, and are judged on it. Even if you're not explicitly taught that your job is to do housework, the messaging is loud and clear in media and in so many other aspects of our culture that women are innately better at housework. It's simply not true. Domestic work is skilled work. Gender has nothing to do with how well someone does it. It's learned."
#10

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores I used to make nice dinners for my ex and I. When I asked him (multiple times) to help with clean up he just wouldn’t. One particular time that I asked he said “It’s your job to clean the pots and pans because you’re the one who made them dirty.”

Nevermind that they got dirty cooking a dinner that HE always greedily ate. It took me way too long to finally say, “If you want any part of this dinner that I am about to make, then you’re going to clean this pot and that pan after. Agree now or I’m adding onions.” (He refused to eat anything with onions in it.) It worked briefly. I broke up w/ him not long after that for many reasons too numerous to list here.

bananapineapplesauce , Martin Lopez Report

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#11

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores When arguing about the work that we each put into managing our lives and household, where I was crying about the mental load of laundry, solely shopping for groceries, solely driving around for our errands, dishes, and managing the housekeeper we'd hired because he couldn't be bothered to do the above regularly, he said "but I feel I'm always working hard to find us fun games to play and movies to watch and I feel you don't appreciate that"

and he was completely serious

I know sexuality is not a choice because I WISH I were a lesbian.

heeebusheeeebus , cottonbro studio Report

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The pigeon
The pigeon
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just throw the whole man away and become the hot single aunt.

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#12

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores "I couldn't make dinner because I went out with a friend. You wouldn't understand because I actually have a life"

Essentially anything he didn't want to do I had to do because he had more friends than I did. None of his friends last more than a couple years though.

Meg-alodonut , Anna Vander Stel Report

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Alas, there are ways that partners can try to resolve this issue. Danger told us that communication is key in situations like this. "Assume positive intent. You're in a partnership because you love one another and want to show up for one another. Imbalanced partnerships fall into a trap of one person carrying more of the mental load than the other, and you end up with one person over-burdened and the other left out."

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So what can couples do? "You can start with the positives," Laura suggested. "If you two start taking the household and mental load seriously, you're both going to feel more empowered to make decisions that align with your needs. You're both going to feel more heard. You're both going to feel valued and connected."
#13

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores I’ll start this off by saying my husband is a totally equal partner. He cooks, cleans, does laundry, and looks after our child without issue 99.9% of the time. But he bears the brunt of childcare for our daughter during the summer when she’s not in camp because he has many days off during my work week.

He was really burnt out back when she was 4 and tried to tell me in a fit of frustration that childcare is easier for me because women are genetically programmed to be patient with children.

When I tell you I laughed in his face and told him to go f**k himself, I am not exaggerating. He later apologized and remains a great dad and husband dispute this one lapse in sanity.

And don’t think I ever miss an opportunity to (jokingly) tell him he’s genetically programmed to move furniture, carry the shopping bags, mow the lawn, bbq, and maintain our cars.

pistil-whip , Paweł L. Report

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JK
JK
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh dear lord you lot, grow the f**k up and get over yourselves. If you're getting this butthurt over this thread maybe go read another.

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#14

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores My ex, after I had our first baby, told me that I can't expect him to change diapers and look after the baby because he used to have to look after his baby brothers when he was 15. He was 22 when he said this. So basically, he knew how but was tired of doing things like looking after babies even if it's his own baby.

Edited to add: his mother said this was a lie. He had a job and school at 15. He changed the occasional diaper.

muhbackhurt , Nathan Dumlao Report

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#15

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores Him: 'I just didn't notice the small details' this man is a very successful and competent designer and maker of circuit boards.

........yep.

BalletWishesBarbie , Blaz Erzetic Report

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"If you're dealing with imbalance, you're likely in what I call the 'Nag Paradox,' where one person giving directions or soliciting support ends up feeling like criticism to the other. Then that person acts defensively, and you ping-pong yourselves into resentment." Danger said that partners who want to work through this argument should make clear agreements on who does what.

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#16

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores “But I have to work! I have a job!” I’m legally disabled, and am responsible for all things home and child related. Because he has a job.

“Well, my dad never changed a diaper, I don’t see why I should!” Yeah, and you been in counseling for not having a good relationship with your dad, but now he’s your role model?.

theflyinghillbilly2 , Nonsap Visuals Report

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#17

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores I once asked my husband if he wanted to use a project managing/task app to help us keep track of and divvy up chores. I worked in project management so l knew lots of ways to set that up.

He declined because he “didn’t want to feel like he worked for me.” Because me instead having to actively project manage all our household tasks somehow doesn’t already give him that feeling. 🙄.

PuzzleheadedLet382 , Jonas Leupe Report

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#18

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores My ex: "You do it better anyway." Especially with infant/toddler caring things like diapers.

But, wow, did he pipe in if I cooked something the wrong way and he didn't like it. He'd lecture me on whether or not to put salt in boiling water for pasta. And yet, when I asked him to cook, it was too big of a chore. 'You're better at it.'

Good effing riddance.

One-Armed-Krycek , Irina Sergeeva Report

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#19

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores I called out my uncle for never cleaning up after himself while living with me and pointing out how my grandma with cancer and dementia in her 80s was cleaning up after him until she went to hospice and this m’fer ACTUALLY said!!!! “But I thought you and mama liked cleaning and doing things for me?” F*****g no.

cuppitycupcake , cottonbro studio Report

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frogglin avatar
Little Wonder
Little Wonder
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Women *like* cleaning" is one I've heard too many times. Some of us do! Mostly it just has to be done.

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#20

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores The first Christmas we were living together, his mom was coming to stay with us. He asked what I got her? What?? I hardly know her and she’s made it clear she doesn’t like me very much??? But you’re so good at gift giving!!! Yeah, for people I like!!! Christmas Eve, he’s still thinking I sorted it out, color him shocked when I said no and he had to go out 30min before stores closed to get her something 😂😂.

LeafsChick , Olena Bohovyk Report

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Belladonna.dreams
Belladonna.dreams
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex asked me what I got his mother for mother's day while completing ignoring me changing diapers for our 2 boys

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#21

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores I worked today!

Paired perfectly with

It’s my day off!.

MuffinSongs , Hunters Race Report

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#22

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores One time, my ex broke his hand (being a drunken idiot) and used that as an excuse not to do anything. He once looked me directly in the face and said, and I quote, "What do you expect me to do, empty the dishwasher with *one hand?*".

pampooveysbacktatt , cottonbro studio Report

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#23

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores My husband once said (in the early days of our marriage) that he didn't clean or do laundry or do dishes because he didn't want to mess with **my** systems.

You can believe my response was swift and brutal - "I only have systems because I'm the only one doing anything!"

Oh and one time he got annoyed with me for suggesting he do a load of laundry - "but you've never shown me how to use the washing machine!"
I mean imagine considering yourself a smart man and never once recognising that learning a new task as an adult is your own responsibility... I swear.

fedupwithallyourc**** , charlesdeluvio Report

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Kariali
Kariali
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, I know this one! "You are so controlling or everything! I don't want to mess with that!" Yes, I am in control because nobody else does it! Sheesh....

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#24

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores My friends husband said this a while ago: "if I do it more often, you're going to start expecting me to do it".
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?.

LiquidFantasy96 , Patrick Report

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Ace
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this one, as if it's going to pïss off the partner more from them doing a chore occasionally but not regularly, compared with never doing it at all. Logical. Twisted logic, but logic nonetheless.

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#25

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores My spouse told me he didn't see the dishes piled in the sink after days of them getting piled.  I'd left them to see how long it would take for him to notice and put them in the dishwasher.  He sure did notice after I took a mug off the top and smashed it on the floor right in front of him.  I'm not a violent person but I came very very close to something I'd regret.   My reaction shook him out of his complacency and we've not had an issue since.  I do not recommend this course of action in general. .

Iwentforalongwalk , cottonbro studio Report

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Jinx (she/her)
Jinx (she/her)
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went through the exact same thing, only I didn't smash the dishes, I just bagged them up and threw them all away, pots, pans, bowls, cutlery, it all went and I forbade him from using anything but disposable because "are you going to run the dishwasher? no? then you don't get to put the real plates in the sink"

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#26

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores Not my partner but I once knew a guy who said he had done enough dishes for this lifetime. He was 25.

NickBlackheart , RDNE Stock project Report

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The pigeon
The pigeon
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guess he just gonna die then, since he reached his life dishes quota

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#27

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores My ex would say he doesn’t have to help w chores because even though we both worked 40 hrs a week, I “worked closer to home” so therefore I had more time and should do the majority of them.

umbrellagirl2185 , Elena Saharova Report

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acey-ace16 avatar
Ace
Ace
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How much closer, though? Might be at least slightly reasonable if one partner is travelling several hours each day and the other one just five minutes.

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#28

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores I can't do the dishes because you're not happy with the way I do it. (without soap, leaving bits of food on them)

I can't clean because you're not happy with the way I do it (just generalizing from the dishes here, but it's not really true - cleaning badly is better than no cleaning imo)

I can't cook because we have no food.

I can't buy food because no one's made a list.

I can't .... realizes he can in fact make a list. Doesn't.

Macanom , cottonbro studio Report

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acey-ace16 avatar
Ace
Ace
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's called "weaponised incompetence". Far too common.

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#29

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores My spouse once blamed my mother for not offering to take the baby for him so he could clean.

Plantadhd , Tim Mossholder Report

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Jill Bussey
Jill Bussey
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents everywhere will agree it's amazing how much you can achieve one-handed whilst holding a baby in the other hand.

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#30

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores “I don’t know what towel you like to use” when asked why he replaced his bathroom towel with a clean one and not mine. Our towels are matching. Always have been.

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Ace
Ace
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it just me that thinks a couple having separate, but matching, towels is a bit weird?

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#31

Him: I'm out of clean [insert clothing item here]
Me:
Him: why didn't you do laundry?
Me: why didn't you? I don't inventory your closet or dresser
Him: you should have known!
Commence him doing a load, usually one outfit.

He never washed any clothes but his own, and he would claim he didn't know when I needed the machine. Sundays. I always did the entire household's laundry on Sunday.

We're divorced now.

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#32

"I don't know where it goes." When asked to put some kitchen things away.

You are the one who regularly uses them. What location would to go to GET it? Well, that would be where you put it back.

It was a brain fart moment. I think he regretted it as he heard himself say it.

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Kariali
Kariali
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Can you please put the butter back into the fridge?" He: "The fridge??"...

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#33

“You want me to clean up after the dinner that you cooked for us? But I picked up a package for you earlier this week” (from the package room, in our building lobby, which he only went to because he thought the package was for him)

Another time, I left town for a work trip on a Tuesday. We were out of paper towels. Came home on Sunday night and he still hadn’t bought paper towels. His excuse? One of our friends stayed with us for a night that week and had used the last paper towel, so he was waiting on the friend to buy us more. (?????) He also hadn’t touched the dirty sheets or towels that the friend left…

This is just a roommate, not a partner, but definitely makes me very wary of cohabitation with a man!.

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#34

*When is (event) happening?* Verbally tell him. *I forgot, when is (event) is happening?* Tell him and write it on the calendar in the kitchen. *Did you ever find out when (event) is happening?* Tell him, show him the calendar in the kitchen, send him an email. *Hey! You never let me know when (event) is happening.* Ragefully tell him AGAIN, point angrily at the calendar AGAIN, pull up the email and show him, then ask do I need to write it on a piece of construction paper and tape it to your computer screen? *What's your problem? I just asked....*.

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intrrat666
intrrat666
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd just say "figure it out on your own or you'll never know"

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#35

"If you wanted me to do it all you needed to do was ask."

"I forgot about it."

"It's late I'll get it in the morning." [Refer to previous excuse the next day.]

"I'm just don't feel like doing it.".

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Giraffy Window
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm just don't feel like doing it either. Let's play a game of chicken and see who needs your clothes washed sooner.

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#36

My industrial engineer husband couldn’t turn on the dishwasher because he ‘didn’t know how it worked’.

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Montanavanna
Montanavanna
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband does this! He runs a drill 100s to 1000s of feet into the earth using math and geometry and all that complicated s**t but you struggle with mundane tasks. Yeah effing right buddy, I'm not buying it.

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#37

I didn't know what to do because you didn't tell me.

*tells him*
I don't remember very well. Write it down.

*writes it down*
I lost that. Email me a list so I can add it to my digital to-dos.

*emails*
My email is crazy lately. Just text me.

*texts*
Call me when you're texting something important.

*calls*
You can't just tell me things, I'll forget. Please write it down.

!!

🙃😪.

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Tamra
Tamra
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is bull$hit. I am not writing anything down for you, nor texting, nor emailing. You are an adult, figure out how to remember your obligations.

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#38

I had an ex who told me that he didn’t notice when things weren’t clean, but if I told him to clean it then he would. I told him that no one tells me what to clean, he isn’t vision impaired, and I am not his mother.

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Giraffy Window
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine doesn't "see" the mess and dirt until it's an inconvenience to them in some way. Then they get annoyed with me that I didn't manage to fit those messes in with everything else I take care of.

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#39

Because  he's  tired/slept bad. I am NINE MONTHS PREGNANT .

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#40

"I have ADHD." "I'm too tired." "My stomach hurts."

B***H ME TOO.

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#41

"Women are natural carers"

"I work full-time and you're only part time"

"You're just better at it"

Yeah he's my ex now.

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#42

His explanation for why he was unable to take his dosh to the sink, "My mother would NEVER host dinner and then expect everyone to pit their own dish in the sink when they were done!"

I asked if he was referring to her hosting guests or her expectations for literal children.

Of course, whenever he cooked I was expected to do the dishes/clean up the mess because "He cooked.", but that never seemed to apply to him.

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MushroomHead22
MushroomHead22
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well if you are "hosting" diner for him, you can kick him out after.

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#43

“We just have different thresholds for this stuff” “I just don’t think of this kind of stuff like you do”. Blah blah blah blah blah.

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Dingooo
Dingooo
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stuff? You mean the normal sh!t that everyone else has to do?

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#44

"I can't tell boss I can't work late! It would look bad!/There was no one else who could stay late because they have kids!"  Mister, **you** have kids too and it's **your** night to take care of the kids and dinner. **You** wanted an employed outside wife. That means **you** make sacrifices "how it will look"/hunting trips to make that happen. .

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#45

“Get In The Bin, You Absolute Child”: 30 Of The Worst Excuses Women Got From Men Over Chores My ex-husband once told me that he couldn't be expected to throw away his candy wrappers and fast food garbage on the nightstand because the wastebasket wasn't conveniently located. He also liked to say that he couldn't do dishes because there were too many in the sink, but I couldn't get a countertop dishwasher because it would take up too much space. (Guess who did all the cooking? Not him!)

Anyway I have a countertop dishwasher and a wastebasket that never seems to be too far away, now.

thedrunkunicorn , Towfiqu barbhuiya Report

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#46

Not a partner, but a roommate once told me that he didn't vacuum because he didn't understand how to remove the wet-dry vacuum attachment. The kind you literally pull off. Same guy looked at the dish rack & said he didn't understand my system (just put the dishes in).

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#47

I have never met a man that didn’t have “acquired helplessness” other than my dad. It’s so manipulative!.

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Rinso the Red
Rinso the Red
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8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, I feel bad for you in a way. But at some point, you've got to look in the mirror and say "maybe I'm attracted to the wrong type of person"?

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#48

“I don’t see the dirt” - my ex, with his whole chest.

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#49

Not a partner, but I had a male friend visit from out of town several years ago, and a group of all our mutual friends came to my place for dinner.

My friend said he couldn't help with cleanup because he was feeling sick from the dinner, having some kind of reaction. Friends and I said okay, and cleaned up. (I will say this friend group was like 75% male!)

Then my friend woke up early the next day, and ate all of the leftovers. 🙄

We didn't stay in touch after that trip.

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#50

Ex never claimed ignorance or (gods forbid) that I was more capable. But he’d make such a scene in actually doing anything I asked of him that it was less stressful for me to just take it all on myself.

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