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The differences between men and women – the ultimate inexhaustible topic. The one dead horse that we’ll probably keep beating for centuries to come. It seems that everything possible is already said. There are thousands of books and advice columns written about it, movies, TV shows, podcasts – you name it. Yet we’re still here – talking, reading, and writing about it.
This particular thread has gotten quite a lot of attention. When one netizen asked, “Women, what do you find the most confusing about men?“, almost 30k people flocked to the comments to share their thoughts. From what men really think when they fall silent to why pooping takes so long for them – the women of Reddit had many unanswered questions.
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#1
I'm a man. But something that confused my wife is when I suddenly take a deep breath for no reason. She's like "are you ok? You sure? Anything you need to talk about? What's going on?" And I just say "nah I'm fine, think I just forgot to breathe and catching up".
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#2
My wife's biggest gripe is that I will spend time hiking / drinking / driving / whatever with friends I haven't seen in months, and when I get home I will have absolutely nothing to report back despite having talked solidly with them for six hours.
My wife on the other hand will casually pass a friend in the street and within ten minutes knows what theyve done every day since they last spoke, the health and financial status of them and all other friends and relatives, and a forward facing calendar for the next three months.
#3
I cannot understand the logic that you want me to get a full time job and work just as hard as you during the week, but also want all the comforts of a 1950’s housewife without putting in any of the work yourself.
Jill Rhodry 11 months ago
but...but...but...they take out the trash and mow the lawns once a week, it's even!
Are men and women really that different? Are we bound to not understand each other for the rest of time? It's true that many Americans think that way. The Pew Research Center did a survey in 2017 where they asked men and women whether they see gender differences. The majority claimed they do, but their opinions on whether it's biological or societal differ.
Women believe the differences between men and women appear because of societal expectations. Men, on the other hand, say that these differences are biological.
The researchers asked the respondents about such things as physical abilities, how each gender expresses their feelings, and hobbies and personal interests. Interestingly, both men and women agreed that both genders are basically the same when it comes to work-related skills.
#4
I don’t find this confusing, more sad. A lot of men aren’t told how handsome, sexy, good looking they are. I tell my husband how much he turns me on daily, and I feel like women get that all the time but men, not so much.
Edit: Dang this blew up. I just want to say all you guys deserve to be told how sexy you are and you should definitely let it be known! I don’t think a lot of partners out there realize how much you’d appreciate it.
Tobias Reaper 11 months ago
i recently grew beard my best friend told me i look like a hot Viking it made my year
#5
When my boyfriend is quiet for too long and I ask him what he’s thinking about, and he says simply, “nothing”, and shrugs. This happens at least twice a month.
What … what do you mean … nothing???? You can actively sit there and just wipe your brain clean??? No buzz buzz?? Just elevator music behind the eyes???
What kind of f*****g superpower is that and where do I sign up??
#6
You can be completely oblivious to any mess in the house but can spot a wall has been brush painted in the wrong direction from 20ft away.
Gustav Gallifrey 11 months ago
Mess in the house is something that can be quickly and easily rectified. A badly-painted wall is an abomination that you've got to live with for some time.
Is there a way to find out which is really true? Are the differences between men and women biological or is it actually nurture, not nature? It's a difficult topic to approach as an academic. Bias can even exist in research. There is no consensus on the issue even at this time. Some researchers believe that people are born being more masculine or feminine. English clinical psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen is in that camp with his E-S theory.
Others, like philosopher Judith Butler, assert that gender is performative. According to her, we establish gender identity through behavior, so different behaviors can construct different genders. Not-so-academic and more easily digestible proponents like British science journalist Angela Saini invoke science.
She's the author of Inferior: How Science Got Women Wrong – And the New Research that’s Rewriting the Story, and says that we shouldn't have equality because science says it's possible. "There's no reason why we can't have equality if we want it," she told Slate. "Science doesn't say that equality is impossible. We are adaptable and plastic as a human species. We can have society any way we want."
#7
You know that meme, where a woman is thinking "huh, he's probably thinking about other women" and in actuality the guy is thinking the most random of things. Yeah. That.
#8
Why they can’t find anything that is right in front of them I swear to god I find everyone’s things for them at work!
Ritchat 11 months ago (edited)
This drives me nuts! I swear, I even started to put things out on the counter for him when I know he will need them later and he still just doesn't see them. He's also not able to find things behind other things, even when they are in the same spot as always. It's like this barrier he just can't overcome. Also, it's just so much more convenient to ask me after the first half-assed attempt to find something instead of searching for just 1 more minute.
#9
I find it confusing how men are so forgiving. It’s one of the things I adore the most about men and find the most baffling. I’m learning now that men will get over things like 40 minutes after they happen and genuinely get frustrated and sad when their girls hold grudges. I’ve found that the people I’ve had falling outs with and was able to rekindle my friendships with were mostly all men.
I also find it weird how men will fight each other and then be best friends the next day.
#10
Why do men always have the prettiest and longest eyelashes?
#11
That "we ain't going to the doctor" but the limb has fallen off.
#12
Why they take such a long time to poop.
Do you go in there when you actually need to go or just because you think you might need to go so you just sit for a while to see what happens?
As a woman both kinds of trips to the toilet take the same amount of time for me. But every man I know makes pooping a 30 minute event.
Gustav Gallifrey 11 months ago
It's quiet time. Close the door, guaranteed solitude, do some thinking, read the paper in peace, etc.
#13
I'm a man, but let me offer something I find confusing about other men, which I'm sure women do too.
Why do you get so defensive when a woman points out some trait of men they've been around that they don't like? Why do you feel personally attacked? If you don't like the accusations that some men are pervs and rapists, what does it matter if you're not a perv or a rapist? The term "not all men" gets thrown around a lot but a) no one said it was and b) it being "some men" is enough that women have to be careful.
All you need to do is not be that guy, and call out s****y behaviour when you can. That's it.
#14
My gf is still baffled at the fact that I can just turn off my brain and not think of anything
#15
How they're able to have so much fun with their friends all the time
They make digging a hole in the beach with their friends look like the most fun thing in the world I really admire that
White Sauce Hot Sauce 11 months ago (edited)
It's not the activity that's fun. It's just the fact that we're hanging out with the boys.
#16
The obsession some men have with sports. Personally I don't get it, it's just a bunch of guys throwing a ball around for two hours. I'm not bashing anyone who likes sports, I just don't get it.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 11 months ago
Never got it myself. I'm not a typical man though. I only think about the Roman Empire about once a week instead of every day.
#17
When they behave as the smartest man in the world and five minutes later as the village idiot.
Gustav Gallifrey 11 months ago
Seen girls do that, too. Financial/budgeting wiz one moment, then boyfriend arrives, she's a total ditz.
#18
Some men have absolutely no problem picking after themselves at work, but forget how to do it the moment they step into their homes.
I swear it’s like a switch.
How can you keep a whole workshop at work neat and tidy, but forget that the laundry basket exists?
#19
When a guy will slip something very heartbreaking into a convo , like something an extremely abusive parent did or whatever and he’s talking about it very casually and your like holy f**k my dude are you alright but you can’t actually say that or overreact too much because he’ll never tell you anything again if you do so you have to sit there and be like ahhh yes that sucks dude but inside ur like sir may I hug you please
#20
Why some men don’t go to the doctor or dentist, unless someone else makes the appointment for them.
#21
So many men I know pass off just this really chill vibe and they all seem to just be cool with each other. How tf do they do it!?!?
#22
What happens to your d***s when you run? Do you feel them flop around? And what do you do with it when you ride a bike?
Gustav Gallifrey 11 months ago
The invention of underwear largely rendered this query superfluous.
Geoffrey Scott 11 months ago
And yes, I wear bike shorts, under another pair of shorts when pedaling. I am aware ain't NOBODY wants to see me in bike shorts alone. Look like a marshmallow stuffed into a thimble.
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Steve 11 months ago
They tend to spin in a circle like a windmill, so we wrap a wire coil around them to generate electricity for charging our phones
setsuriseikou 11 months ago
Ah, so you get that and proper pockets for your pants too? God, why is this life so unfair!
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Mark Fergel 11 months ago
This is why I won't wear boxers. Who needs that stuff flopping all over the place? We already have to deal with random erections. Who the hell needs fabric friction causing even more.
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
When my brother was a teen, my mum had to talk to him about wearing only boxers around the house, because he would sit with his feet up and you could see up the leg holes!
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Donkey boi 11 months ago
Not meaning to be crude but, the same thing that happens with your boobs. They are usually supported by undergarments, and when they are not, the flop about. Understanding about the position of genitalia would answer the bike part of the question.
Cosmo 10 months ago
As someone with larger boobs I will say that bras can only help so much so I wondered if the same thing was an issues for dudes
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Anonymous Anomaly 11 months ago
I wear boxers and yes, it flops. It doesn't hurt or anything, but I can't stand the tight feeling of briefs or boxer briefs.
Boop the Snoot. Pound the Paw. 11 months ago
It was the height of hilarity when, in 2020 when pretty much no one was going anywhere, my 12 year old son explained to his dad where to put his junk when learning to ride a unicycle.,
Cactus 1549 10 months ago
No it doesn’t get too bad running, but when it gets to a certain humidity level, it’s not very comfortable.
DeoManus Argentem 10 months ago
Yes, it flops around while running. But the feeling isn't unpleasant. Even riding a bike where you're over to a side down one pants leg it's common to become "excited" while riding because the motion and bloodflow is not unpleasant.
Shaunn Munn 11 months ago
There's huggy briefs and athletic cups galore. But I am interested in what the ancient 'Greek men did to keep things together during their olympics and marathons.
zububonsai 11 months ago (edited)
Naked. They did it naked. Source: pictures like on vases. Sportsmen oiled their bodies, ar least the wrestlers (makes it harder for your competition to grab you, you look cooler & more defined, like bodybuilders today, and you avoid red skin from rubbing), afterwards they rubbed it off with a tool called strigula (like the German "Striegel", the tool for cleaning horses). Source: some text I forgot the author. So I assume a lot of flopping around. (I'm a teacher for history and Latin)
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Another Fool on the Hill 11 months ago
The d**k isn't really a problem, most time it will fit in the leg of the pants and everything is fine. The problem is caused by the balls, they need enough place without getting squeezed or bashed. So the right underwear is really helpful.
RAM31280 11 months ago
Haven't you seen the picture of Jon Hamm jogging in grey sweatpants? They just flop around if wearing boxers or no undies, but briefs will hold them in place.
AlienBarbu 11 months ago
it was Justin Theroux in the series the Leftovers
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manu michael 11 months ago
Yeah sometimes.... we tuck our d***s up to our waistband, and move it to a position where it's comfortable. (underwear really helps.)
#23
I’m a dude, but why do we all pretty much collectively enjoy digging random holes? Especially at the beach.
Edit: just got back from the beach and yes, I did dig a hole there!
#24
When guys are seriously injured but act like its just a scratch… that they can somehow walk it off. All the guys I know are like this.
David Paterson 11 months ago
Or the exact opposite. Just get a cold and act like they're dying.
#25
I’ve learned a lot being married to my husband, but there’s one thing I fail to understand in general. Why do you guys like to stare out the window so often? It’s usually just going up to a window or looking out the front door, and you fall into a trance. What’s up with that?
#26
I always tell my wife if it's not (was not): moving, on fire, or naked I didn't see it.
#27
Why can’t they find things? If you ask them to bring you something from the closet, refrigerator, living room, whatever, they can’t find it!
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 11 months ago
Oh I know this one. It's because we lack the ability to look in the right place. In our male brains, it's logical to keep the ketchup in the broom closet so that's where we look.
#28
Why do guys just sit in silence sometimes. I thought for a long time my boyfriend was sick of me but he was just sitting there with his brain off ig…
#29
How their crotch doesn't hurt when they run or go up the stairs. Like, even with underwear, you just have stuff hanging down there. I don't even have a large chest and it hurts to run regardless if I'm wearing a bra or not
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 11 months ago
TBH I just don't feel it down there. Then again I don't feel much of anything anymore. Not since "The Incident". The only time I feel anything now is when I think about The Roman Empire.
#30
How can they be so smart, and have so many knowledge about something, but they can be so, so stupid, do they have a switch about topics?
What do you think ?
BTDubs 11 months ago
This post is horseshit and all based on generalizations. "Men don't complain" my foot.
Isa's left eye 11 months ago
Ofc it's based on generalizations, the only thing ALL men have in common is that they are adult male human beings.
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Flora Porter 11 months ago
Hm, a lot of these seem to be generalising based on a sample of one and traditional gender stereotypes. People are more complex and individual than this.
manu michael 11 months ago
As a guy: why do guys tense up and jerk/shake randomly in their sleep? (Happens to me...what about others?)
Joy 11 months ago
You might need to take some magnesium supplements. Both my mom and I have problems with our legs jerking when we're trying to sleep and started taking magnesium for it. Works like a charm!
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Steve Kenney 11 months ago
I love the Mountain Dew one. It's because sometimes ladies (not all, calm down) will be so specific in what they want that getting anything BUT that exact item, even if we have to get 12 of them is less hassle for us. I work in retail and I see it all the time, dudes who are looking for that specific item and will go to 10 stores to find it.
MP 11 months ago
I have a friend who got verbally abused by her boyfriend for getting them a Dr Pepper instead of a coke when he asked for a “soda.”
Load More Replies... Some guy 10 months ago (edited)
I remember one time my (female) manager asked me to tell the new intern his pants were riding too low, but to be sensitive about it, on the grounds that it would go over better coming from another man. So the next time we were alone in a room together, and I was standing behind him, I just yelled, "Whoa, dude! Plumber's crack!" and shielded my eyes. We both laughed, problem solved, no hard feelings.
UpQuarkDownQuark (he/him) 11 months ago
Every time I see the “spent 72 straight hours with my best friend and I still know his name or anything about him” remarks I’m flabbergasted. What kind of weird people don’t want to share who they are with their friends?
Papa 11 months ago
I've got one that I don't think many women understand. If we ask you a question that can be answered with either Yes or No, that's probably all we want. If we asked if you got bread from the store, and you didn't, most of the time No is all you need to say. We got the information we wanted. If we want more information we'll ask for it, but most of the time we don't.
Cursed Starscream 11 months ago
may be a personal thing, but im suprised none of these are why we spend a bunch of money on transformers...like, its a lot. we dont even know the importance of the character sometimes, we just get the figure for our collection.(emoji is me seeing this not being on the list). 2024012208...24-png.jpg 
Cursed Starscream 11 months ago
Also, multiple questions for you women that i have: Why do you not communicate about some things but then ramble on about other stuff? the second one is why do you think were so closed about our emotions? im not saying that because we aren't, im asking what do you think the cause is? because most of the time it actually ends up being you. we feel we cant share our emotions because you either dont listen, or the even worse option is our sensitivity being an "ick".(i do not mean to sound like im a andrew tate fanboy, if you get that from this i apologize)
Load More Replies...
BTDubs 11 months ago
This post is horseshit and all based on generalizations. "Men don't complain" my foot.
Isa's left eye 11 months ago
Ofc it's based on generalizations, the only thing ALL men have in common is that they are adult male human beings.
Load More Replies... Flora Porter 11 months ago
Hm, a lot of these seem to be generalising based on a sample of one and traditional gender stereotypes. People are more complex and individual than this.
manu michael 11 months ago
As a guy: why do guys tense up and jerk/shake randomly in their sleep? (Happens to me...what about others?)
Joy 11 months ago
You might need to take some magnesium supplements. Both my mom and I have problems with our legs jerking when we're trying to sleep and started taking magnesium for it. Works like a charm!
Load More Replies... Steve Kenney 11 months ago
I love the Mountain Dew one. It's because sometimes ladies (not all, calm down) will be so specific in what they want that getting anything BUT that exact item, even if we have to get 12 of them is less hassle for us. I work in retail and I see it all the time, dudes who are looking for that specific item and will go to 10 stores to find it.
MP 11 months ago
I have a friend who got verbally abused by her boyfriend for getting them a Dr Pepper instead of a coke when he asked for a “soda.”
Load More Replies... Some guy 10 months ago (edited)
I remember one time my (female) manager asked me to tell the new intern his pants were riding too low, but to be sensitive about it, on the grounds that it would go over better coming from another man. So the next time we were alone in a room together, and I was standing behind him, I just yelled, "Whoa, dude! Plumber's crack!" and shielded my eyes. We both laughed, problem solved, no hard feelings.
UpQuarkDownQuark (he/him) 11 months ago
Every time I see the “spent 72 straight hours with my best friend and I still know his name or anything about him” remarks I’m flabbergasted. What kind of weird people don’t want to share who they are with their friends?
Papa 11 months ago
I've got one that I don't think many women understand. If we ask you a question that can be answered with either Yes or No, that's probably all we want. If we asked if you got bread from the store, and you didn't, most of the time No is all you need to say. We got the information we wanted. If we want more information we'll ask for it, but most of the time we don't.
Cursed Starscream 11 months ago
may be a personal thing, but im suprised none of these are why we spend a bunch of money on transformers...like, its a lot. we dont even know the importance of the character sometimes, we just get the figure for our collection.(emoji is me seeing this not being on the list). 2024012208...24-png.jpg
Cursed Starscream 11 months ago
Also, multiple questions for you women that i have: Why do you not communicate about some things but then ramble on about other stuff? the second one is why do you think were so closed about our emotions? im not saying that because we aren't, im asking what do you think the cause is? because most of the time it actually ends up being you. we feel we cant share our emotions because you either dont listen, or the even worse option is our sensitivity being an "ick".(i do not mean to sound like im a andrew tate fanboy, if you get that from this i apologize)
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