“Walk Toward An Older Woman And Say, ‘Mom! A Strange Guy Is Hassling Me’”: 40 Women Share Tips To Keep You Safe
Safety is always on a woman’s mind, so women do what they can to support each other. There have been far, far too many cases where they have been followed by strange men on the street. And it’s the kind of thing that shouldn’t ever happen… but occurs far too often in real life.
The women of Twitter have taken to sharing the safety tips that they’ve tried and tested over the years that might help keep you safe if you’re followed by a stranger. User RetroCrone, who started the viral thread in the first place gave an amazing tip, telling teen girls to walk toward older women and say, “Mom! A strange guy is hassling me. He won’t leave me alone.”
Scroll down for the best safety tips, as presented by these women. And if you know something that you know for a fact might help protect someone from a hassler, harasser, or stalker, dear Pandas, share your thoughts in the comments.
Emily May, the Co-Founder and Executive Director of 'Right To Be,' explained to Bored Panda how widespread harassment is and how to respond to it. 'Right To Be' is a nonprofit that works to end harassment in all of its forms and trains people to respond to, intervene in, and heal from harassment.
Image credits: RetroCrone
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Emily, told Bored Panda that L'Oreal Paris and IPSOS recently did some research to determine how widespread harassment is as part of 'Right To Be's' Stand Up Against Street Harassment campaign.
The Co-Founder and Executive Director of 'Right To Be' said: "The 2021 study showed 80% of women have experienced street harassment."
"We're working with L'Oreal Paris to train 1 million people in bystander intervention to address street harassment. People can sign up for free training on our website," she shared. This is something that you should seriously consider doing, dear Pandas.
According to Emily, asking for strangers, e.g. older women, for help is "a great option." People in public places can help if someone is following you.
"Our Stand Up Against Street Harassment Training offers three strategies to use in response to harassment: assess your safety, reclaim your space (optional), and practice resilience. Proven ways to reclaim your space include setting a boundary, asking someone for help, or documenting your harassment," she explained to us.
Here in England they have something call Angela, so you go to the bartender and asks if Angela is working, I really like this
Emily from 'Right To Be' stressed that it is vital to remember that it is not your fault if you were harassed or stalked by a stranger.
"There is no such thing as a perfect response to harassment, it's their responsibility not to harass you. Taking time to find a sense of safety inside yourself, educate yourself about the issue, share your story, and learn how to intervene on behalf of others are all key parts of the healing journey," she shared how some victims approach healing after being harassed.
Emily, the Co-Founder and Executive Director of 'Right To Be' (previously ‘Hollaback!’) shared with Bored Panda sometime earlier that parents need to take the time to speak to their children about harassment. It’s a difficult topic, but an important one to tackle. Kids need to know what they might be up against in the future.
“Most parents know they need to talk to their kids about puberty before it happens, but few take the time to talk to their kids about harassment, even though almost half will be harassed by older men by the time they turn 12,” Emily warned.
“We need to equip young people with resources including: what harassment is, what it looks like, how prevalent it is, why it isn’t ok—and most importantly, that it’s never their fault,” Emily from ‘Hollaback!’ explained to Bored Panda.
For some reason I thought that she had called the woman 'Mom' so I was really confused
Unfortunately, most young women who have been the victims of harassment blame themselves for what happened. They’re then more hesitant to speak about what happened with their parents. They’re scared that their loved ones might blame them for what happened. Emily, the Co-Founder of ‘Hollaback!’ said that they’re scared that their relatives will ask them questions like: “Why were you wearing that?” or, “Why did you take that route?”
“In the same way we tell our teenage kids that if they get drunk and don’t feel safe driving home we will pick them up from wherever they are, no questions asked—we also need to tell our kids that if someone harasses them we will never, ever blame them for it or punish them for it,” she gave an analogy.
“This is important for creating a safe space so that they have a trusted adult they can process these experiences with.”
For every weirdo, there's so many more good people in this world. Thank goodness for them.
According to Emily, some victims of harassment never end up regaining their sense of security after the horrible things they went through. However, in some cases, the community can be a vital part of helping women feel safer in their local area.
That was something we had hammered into us early on. Never voluntarily move from the primary location; the secondary location is where you likely die. Scream, fuss, fight, do whatever. Make them have to (potentially) kill you right there on the street with witnesses where they will not have prepared the area how they want. Obviously much harder to fight back with an organised team abduction but those are generally not as common as the opportunistic ones
“One thing that can help you build a sense of safety, however, is community. Take the time to get to know the good folks in your neighborhood and build positive relationships with not just your neighbors, but the people who deliver the mail, the trash folks, the guy that mows your neighbor’s lawn, etc.,” she pointed out that there are a lot of people in the community who could help someone feel much safer.
I don't HAVE kids, but a distressed child voice gets my attention fast. I think it's hard-wired.
Claire needs to be banned from this site. Ffs stfu Claire, you're the only "sad" fool really.
“The more people you know, the more people will have your back if something happens again. Knowing this can increase your sense of safety and belonging in your community,” she explained that safety can come from knowing more members of the community.
These days you don't need to go back and get the plate number, you've got a camera in your pocket. Take pics of the a*****e. Take pics of his car and plate. Take pics of everything. Police probably won't care right now if you already rescued the girl from harassment but if another young woman in that area gets harmed in the near future the police will be VERY interested. Hopefully just knowing someone has photos will deter the guy from doing it again in that area (and yes I know that just moves the problem but enough people do it and there's nowhere for the problem to go).
I was helped by a family once. Will forever be grateful to them.
Psychologist and wellbeing consultant Lee Chambers told Bored Panda that human beings have a desire for certainty and routine that keeps us feeling safe and able to make plans for the future.
“When unpredictable situations or accidents impact us, it can be traumatic, and we will likely feel a sense of disappointment, frustration, and loss," he explained to us.
Yes!! I'm 10 months post and still can't stand to watch or read any story about a baby or mom being hurt.
"It is important however that we embrace the fact that the world can be unpredictable and uncertain, and become more tolerant of this being a reality. Understanding that things are sometimes out of our control helps us to accept that not everything goes to plan, and accept when things happen to us that are negative. This acceptance allows us to embrace the change and difference, and manage our expectations so we can become more resilient to the ups and downs that all our lives lead,” the psychologist spoke about all kinds of situations that we’re not prepared for.
"Post-traumatic growth isn't always simple to explain or utilize, but often the adversity we face can create a precedent for what we can overcome, help us to see what we need to be grateful for, and give us an understanding of the support we do have. A big part of opening the door to grow from our struggles is finding acceptance and taking ownership over what you can control and finding healthy ways to express the negative emotion that comes with challenges that test us," Lee said.
Okay, but I have a very big problem with this post. They were in a BART station. The only thing coming to mind is Bart Simpson from the Simpsons. Also, knocking Claire off top comment. It's getting annoying Claire, it's fine to ask for help when you're in a bad situation.
Most guys are ok too, honestly. Find a kindly looking person in general. If they don't deliver, move on to the next one!
Then you seek help from anyone else who happens to be around. I would personally go up to a man and ask him for help because I'm not sure another woman would be enough to put some creeps off. And I might make the woman herself feel intimidated. I would march up to the biggest bloke I could spot and ask him to help me.
I'm not sure where the nearest police station is, but I live near a fire station. Also a hospital emergency room and a couple of all-night businesses with very brightly lit parking lots.
Ok I’m not social either but that doesn’t mean you should ignore someone who clearly needs help
That's such a scary situation, I'm glad you were able to find a way out.
What I learned: -Fight back -Claire is annoying -Ask for help -Claire is very annoying -Do NOT go to a 2nd location! -Claire is probably a harasser in disguise -People will want to help you, so ask for it if you're in a bad situation. -Claire is an a**e
I wholeheartedly agree with one of the first comments. Parents - bring your sons up better. Teach them to respect everyone, regardless of gender. To respect personal space and to be willing to step in whenever anyone needs them to. Never to be afraid to call out another man over unacceptable behaviour. We need men to make this kind of behaviour a thing of the past.
You're the good Claire and it makes us appreciate you more.
Load More Replies...What I learned: -Fight back -Claire is annoying -Ask for help -Claire is very annoying -Do NOT go to a 2nd location! -Claire is probably a harasser in disguise -People will want to help you, so ask for it if you're in a bad situation. -Claire is an a**e
I wholeheartedly agree with one of the first comments. Parents - bring your sons up better. Teach them to respect everyone, regardless of gender. To respect personal space and to be willing to step in whenever anyone needs them to. Never to be afraid to call out another man over unacceptable behaviour. We need men to make this kind of behaviour a thing of the past.
You're the good Claire and it makes us appreciate you more.
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