Women Are Sharing How Male Coworkers Creeped Them Out In 50 Tweets
Interview With AuthorEvery workplace is a microcosm of society. On the one hand, you have your awesome peeps who can become your best friends. But you also get people who are far from the embodiments of politeness, common sense, and empathy that you’d expect everyone to have. Unfortunately, being high up on the management ladder doesn’t make you immune to this or from harassing employees.
Twitter user Alexis Conklin started up a viral Twitter thread asking women to share the times that their male coworkers and bosses made them uncomfortable. Scroll down and have a read at the weird and creepy interactions, dear Pandas. And if you’re feeling brave, share if you’ve had similar experiences at the workplace in the comment section. Alexis’ thread got more than 72k likes and was retweeted over 95k times at the time of writing. This just goes to show that the discussion she sparked was relevant to a lot of people.
"I started working in the food industry as a server in 2016 just to work my way through college. It has its pros and cons, like every job. The most consistent issue that I saw both in my specific workplace and those that my friends worked in is that more managers than not are inappropriate with staff. This goes for clients, 'regulars' who come in, other positions within the company, etc.," Alexis told Bored Panda.
We also reached out to psychologist Frank McAndrew who told Bored Panda that, to simplify, there are two kinds of guys who make their female colleagues feel uncomfortable, and explained what can be done to make them stop. Read on for our full interviews with Professor McAndrew and Alexis.
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"Some guys are completely clueless that what they are saying is being received negatively and that it is making women uncomfortable. This can be corrected very quickly by clearly explaining that the comments/questions are uncomfortable and also explaining why they are inappropriate. It is important to do this very early in the relationship, because if it is allowed to continue for a while, suddenly saying something about it becomes awkward. These guys want to make a good impression, and they will change their ways," Professor McAndrew said.
However, he pointed out that the second type of guy is more problematic than the first. "They know they are being rude and they enjoy being the 'bad boy,' and making their coworkers uncomfortable is exactly the point. Ignoring these coworkers completely may work because it takes their fun away, but these guys may ultimately have to be dealt with by actions from the higher-ups," the psychologist explained.
That's why it's important for the staff working at human resources to have procedures in place for dealing with harassment. "If HR is unable or unwilling to step in, it is important for coworkers who are not directly involved to speak up and make it clear that the bad actor risks being socially ostracized from his colleagues if he doesn't clean up his act. It is always unfortunate when the only solution to these problems becomes a legal one."
Of course it’s okay to share! Nothing to be ashamed of whatsoever..it doesn’t matter what your gender is, harassment is not okay!
Wow, a female boss who condones that behaviour is surprising enough, but then to be such a terrible mom on top to put her daughter in a position to have to deal with that too....
I bet that he is one of those idiots who is so entrenched in his sexist views that he doesn't even begin to understand that his behaviour is out of bounds and that these are not compliments, nor that any woman could possibly get upset over being treated like this.
Alexis stressed the fact that she didn't want to speak negatively about men as a whole or to imply that they're all 'unprofessional.' "The tweet has been taken out of context many times and I regret my word usage because the notion that was implied by many was not my intention," she specified.
"However, in my specific situation, along with other women who I am friends with, it’s been female staff employees and male superiors, coworkers, and clients/'regulars' when it comes to sexual harassment, advances being made, flirting, being made uncomfortable, etc. I realize it is not this way in every situation as well. I would also like to include that I am very much aware men are in the same situation as we are at times and their experiences are just as important as ours," Alexis went into more detail about what her intentions with the Twitter thread were.
She was inspired to create the thread after talking with her other coworkers and friends in the food industry. "I think issues such as these are often swept under the rug and it is a conversation that needs to be talked about. Countless women said they were still made to work with their abuser after coming forward. Some women were fired by the manager who was sexually harassing after standing up for themselves. Some had to quit their jobs just to get out of the situation. All of which are completely unacceptable."
1. By the cfo? Good god! 2. Years?! I no longer have hope for humanity.
How do you “accidentally” grab someone from behind? Without falling over, I mean.
Alexis said that she was saddened, surprised, and shocked by the amount of attention her thread got on Twitter recently. She also revealed that she's proud of all the women and men who came forward with their stories. However, she also feels angry on their behalf. "Conversations covering these topics should be discussed more and talked about and brought awareness to."
According to Alexis, there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with 'creepy' coworkers; you have to deal with everyone on a case-by-case basis. "Going to management can work unless it’s the manager acting a certain way to make the employee uncomfortable. Then it’s a gamble with hoping you’re believed by the higher-ups. If it’s a coworker, HR or again a manager. Even then, it’s hoping that it gets taken seriously and a course of action is taken again whomever is being complained about."
She said that her personal experience in the food industry has shown her that she and her colleagues are pretty much left to stand up for themselves with customers, unless they cross the line by causing a scene or grabbing one of the employees.
Those sorts of people still exist. I know professors who women are told not to be alone with. Its an open secret and nothing is done. Usually for the same reason, the publish a lot or attract large classes
"With this, I’ve learned that being your biggest advocate is one of the most important things you can be for yourself. When it comes to regulars, I personally feel more outspoken and able to handle the situation on my own. Coworkers are tricky because it makes the overall work environment a dark and complicated one," she explained that things are hardly easy when it comes to colleagues.
"I’ve been lucky enough to have some superiors who I am about to feel comfortable going to but I know for many men and women that isn’t the case. I wish I had a better and more clear cut answer. It’s a messy situation. The first start of finding a solution is discussing the problem, though," Alexis said.
"If there’s anything I could let the men know who are, or have been, made uncomfortable by a woman (or even another man) in the workforce, it would be that their situation is just as important to talk about. I think a lot of men were put off by the tweet and were given the impression that their experience is lesser than, or not as important, which was never my intention."
Being in a state of “hyper-vigilance” can be mentally exhausting because we’re on the lookout for danger and predators.
While some creeps might be beyond saving (though some would argue that everyone’s capable of redemption), others are simply socially misguided. The latter may have good intentions, but they’re absolutely clueless about how to behave in social settings.
The answer in both cases, then, can be a strong HR team who are willing to mediate any conflicts and provide guidance to any coworkers that need that bit of help to act in a socially acceptable way.
You're right to leave a potentially dangerous situation. Write up reports and send them to HR. They might not do anything for a while, but he may eventually be fired if enough complaints reach higher ups. If he's touched anyone in a gross manner, that could be sexual assault.
I would have printed the company's code of conduct (assuming there was one) and highlighted all the areas that he was violating, and left it on his desk.
Damn that must have made you feel nauseous and lucky to get away at the same time.
The sad truth is that all these insecure men who behave like this are also suffering because they will never have a good and fulfilling relationship with any woman in their whole life. Without mutual respect, how would it possible?
I know things like this are more embarrassing than infuriating when you’re 16. But please, try to encourage all young people working anywhere to always report inappropriate behavior by coworkers—-especially older ones who 1) are flirting with jail and placement on the sexual predators list, and 2) are old enough to f*****g know better!
That's because your "friend" was also making inappropriate comments in the group chat
I would have kneed the bastard in the crotch three times and told him I was being funny..what an a$$hole 🤬
I would’ve said “You talk to your mother with that foul mouth?” See, if he complains about me being insubordinate, I can tell HR/the big bosses exactly why I said it, and make him and the other foul mouths squirm, having to explain exactly what they were saying and doing to make it happen.
Lol what? You thought nothing of it? I would not be able to do anything but think something of it.
Anyone who thought that was "funny and harmless" is either (a) not your friend, (b) protecting their own job, or (c) doing it, too. Tell someone who will listen.
She didn't want to make him feel bad .... *sigh* Yeah. Women are brought up to support men. Men are brought up to support other men. Teach your daughters that they have the right to stand up for themselves!
If you've been sent porn by senior staff you have the tangible evidence of sexual harassment. Report them to HR and the police. If that fails put it on social media. "Hey guys, I'd like to share a message mr.Jones from accounting sent me today."
Yeah, I’ve often wondered what makes some employees—-usually the worst ones—-so Teflon-coated. Relative? Lover? Blackmailer? Connected?
Good, and I hope they give a heads up to every place he applies for afterward.
Yeah, but aspirin won’t get your d**k cut off by a group of my friends and relatives. Unless you actually want to sing soprano.
AVE MARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Load More Replies...“Overly friendly” to other girls and you means inappropriately “friendly”. Gather evidence, record when, how, and to whom, and report it to HR. The store has security cameras, so if you give them dates and times, they can back it up with video proof. Be quick about it, though, because most security cameras only store video for anywhere between three days and one month.
Yep! I had a cut on my wrist, with a bandage over it and a customer asked if I tried to commit suicide
That’s why I go to the gym in comfortable, loose-fitting, somewhat worn out workout clothes no makeup, hair pulled back off my neck and out of my face. I’m there to exercise, not flirt, so leave me TF alone, creep.
I had a job where the boss continually suggested it would be ok to sleep with him. And, I kid you not, his wife came into the office and told me I had her permission. I was totally mortified for myself and for her. They're still happily married so I guess it works for them. Oh I didn't by the way!
The original question was directed at ladies who work for men, but I was happy to see that men chimed in, because it can happen to ANYONE. I have many stories from my first job at 15 at a pool to now, at 37 years old.
This is absolutely heartbreaking to read all the young men and women who are being harassed, victimized and assaulted by "professionals" and that still they are getting away with it. I guess I had hoped things had really changed since I feel like things improved from my parents' generation to mine. It's important to speak out about these things, because I think everyone is afraid it's only happening to them. For myself, I think the biggest challenge is when I worked in an all male environment, as in, I was the only female on that whole floor. It was in the newspaper and publishing house. There was a story about a woman who had been raped. The sub-editor announced loudly that he didn't understand what the problem was about being raped, because women were basically designed to have penises put in their vaginas, so why was it an issue? This in full audience of all the men on the floor, and me. If you're interested in what I did about it, vote me up and I'll tell y'all.
Im guessing, nothing. But tell us what you wished you did.
Load More Replies...As a guy, I regularly get asked to interact with customers in the stead of my female coworkers. “Aragorn, you wanna take that guy’s order? It’s the pervert again.”
Same at my workplace. We work with a lot of regular customers so we know who's what. If we see perves coming we make sure only males are "available" for them. And females return the favor with taking care of once we feel uncomfortable with.
Load More Replies...I was a server in a Mexican restaurant. A customer grabbed my boob so I "accidentally" dumped a plate of red chili enchiladas onto his suit. He made a big nasty scene and called for the manager. My manager (bless his golden old heart) came over and told him that he saw what happened. He told the jerk to pay his bill and get out before he called the cops. This was in 1971 and I have ever stopped being grateful to him. So there are good guys out there, and always have been. That said, I know there are many twisted creeps out there. Fight back whenever you can.
There was a PE teacher who made us lay with our feet facing him when doing sit ups. He had a really hard time speaking to girls without glancing down and getting red and sweaty and he always watched their butts. He had this way of speaking to us that was all in-your-face and whispery. We were twelve. I REPEAT: WE. WERE. TWELVE. I reported this to the principal (who was a woman) and she did NOTHING.
As a waitress, I can't count the number of times men made sexual or degrading comments aimed at me and other female staff. But the worst of all was when the restaurant owner (in his 60s?) came up behind me, while I was waiting for the customer's drinks at the bar, shoved his hands down the back of my pants, grabbed my panties, and pulled up. He laughed, the bartender laughed, his sleazy friend laughed. Apparently I was the one who couldn't take a joke. I was 18. I was raised "not to complain" and hadn't unlearnt that lesson yet, so I just bit my lip and finished my shift. Quit that week though.
I was once fired for fighting back when a coworker tried to rape me. I thought it was a reasonable deal, since my erstwhile rapist still has the scars on his face from where I scratched him. NEVER let your kids work in restaurants.
I feel completely fortunate and alarmingly solitary when I say that from the age of 15 to today, age 50, that not once have I been harassed or in anyway mistreated by any male co-workers I have had. Even when I was the only female (among about 20 men) working at a boat marina at one point. It saddens me that more women can not say this.
Much appreciated. Some fortunate women are very empathetic. Some are understanding up to a point. I felt pretty frustrated when two women told me "you have to educate" my dozen or so male colleagues. They worked in the theology department in a large university whereas I worked in a small ad agency. Not quite the same recourses...
Load More Replies...I just wonder ... has anyone ever succeeded by being creepy and invasive? Has any guy ever scored (like Beavis and Butt-Head call it) by sending out d**k pics and stuff? Ever? Anywhere? Why do they even try? Male, female, isn't the point ... it's the stupidity in this behaviour that stunns me most...
The d**k picks I think yes. You can find videos about Tinder conversations on the very subject. Really depends on how good looking the guy is I think. I mean if both people were already down to smash, it works. If you send it to enough people one is bound to reciprocate...that's basically the 'dark side' of online dating. You have SO many options that doesn't matter if it doesn't work on the first try. Try again and again until it does.
Load More Replies...When I was 17 I worked at a Starbucks in Atlanta. One of my coworkers kept on hitting on me and grabbing my wrists and pinning me to a wall. When he grabbed me by the waist I punched him. I went to HR and they fired me. When I moved to Boston for college I had the same problem at my job at Barnes & Noble, but HR fired the guy and banned him from going to the store.
Any woman or feminine person considering a job at Pixar or Disney, PLEASE be wary of John Lasseter. He touches, kisses, and grabs women without their consent. They made him leave the studios for six months, but he was still paid to sit on his ass and do nothing. I’m 99% sure he hasn’t changed much, but no one talks about it, probably because he’s a millionaire and he shuts them down quickly. He may be a genius in the animation and storytelling field but that does not excuse his shitty behavior or make him a good person.
I worked at a record shop by my house over the summer and whenever i wore merch for my favorite band, a co-worker who was MARRIED, kept saying they had great songs to have s3x to and suggesting we do it, i kept saying i'm 15 and had a girlfriend, also not attracted to men
Yeah. Got this from co-workers, bosses, and customers, oh my. Bosses - working at a restaurant was the worst. I had a boss who would come up behind the female servers and hug them, wrapping his arms around our front, then say he was just "being friendly" when we told him to stop. Funny how he never felt like "being friendly" with the male servers. Customers - worked at a call center scheduling repair work for a major soda manufacturer's fountain drink machines. We were required to follow the script and say at the end of every call "Is there anything else I can do for you today?" A day would not go by when I didn't get at least one vulgar response to that.
Until men start calling out other men for this type of behaviour it will not stop. Women have tried explaining for literally thousands of years. It doesn't even have to be confrontational or aggressive, just 'c'mon, don't be that guy, you're better than that'. Just let him know you've clocked what's going on and it's not okay with you, another man.
My sister was around 15, working in a restaurant and one of the employees, a man in his 20s constantly "complimented" her body, asked he out, and would put notes in the pockets of her pants (while she was wearing them). She told him to stop, he didn't. She told the owner/boss and his response was "She's very pretty and has to get used to guys acting like this." The boss was our father.
What kind of father thinks it's okay to practically pimp out his daughter??
Load More Replies...Years ago i worked in a bar that served food as well. I went to bring food to a table and there were two business man. One grabbed me by the crotch- not a pinch on the bum- grabbed my by the crotch and squeezed. I won't repeat what he said. I went and told my manager at the time and he said 'they have a huge bill and have been drinking a lot- I won't throw them out until they settle the bill'. I was RAGING and went outside to vent. The bouncer came out to me and asked me what was wrong- when he heard he walked in and LITERALLY grabbed the guy by his neck and dragged him down the stairs in front of the entire bar and booted his a**e literally out onto the street. He then looked at me and said 'never EVER put up with that again'.
In my 20s, a co-worker grapped my boob in nightshift when I was working alone. Kicked him in the nuts and told him if he ever comes closer than 2m of me, I will rip of his balls. Never tried anything again. Second time, we had an old driver that kept harrasing all of us. Our boss didn't do anything, his boss didn't do anything. So one nightsift he grapped my a**e. Slapped him across the face amd told him if he ever comes near me or any of my collegues I will brake his fingers. And lo and behold, he stopped!
FIRST: Parents of underage boys and girls should teach them what sexual harassment is, and tell them they want to know. SECOND: Respond loudly and cause embarrassment. "DID YOU SAY YOU WANT TO F*CK ME? WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?" and repeat it twice. THIRD: Always make a report with the manager, and if they don't take it seriously, work your way up the ladder. FOURTH: If management won't protect you, contact the police. You're probably going to lose your job anyway, so make as big a mess as you can. Sign a complaint. FIFTH: Always write down what happened, time-date-place, exactly what was said or done, and who was there. Keep a diary. It is admissible in court.
I had a pe teacher whose nickname was Harrassmassen in jr, high, he would tell girls the shorter the shorts, the higher the grade. He is still teaching pe, and now is teaching health as well
I'm a single, straight, somewhat introverted African American man with a slim, but very athletic build. My (now former) workplace, had more women than men -- about an 8:1 ratio. A few months ago my newly hired, and rather attractive, female section chief openly eyeballed me and told me how much she liked my body in front of everyone in our section -- about 20 people. Although I never replied, because I didn't really know what to say or do, for the next several months she made much trouble for me trying to get me fired, including making false accusations to the division supervisor against me, giving me bad (and undue) performance reviews, overloading my workload, stirring up my other female coworkers against me, and attempting to entrap me in compromising positions, etc.. Division chief was virtually unhelpful. After months of enduring their crap, I filed a formal harassment complaint and later resigned. Nothing's happened to her. I'm just saying it happens to men too.
As a woman in the workplace you go from young and harrassed, to avoided as a hire because you might get pregnant, to ignored because you had the audacity to get older. Super fun
I had a job as a caregiver for a 71 year old man who had a stroke and is now in a wheelchair. He is a church friend of my parents. They got me this job; I don't work for an agency. I came to work on a Friday, knocked on the door as I always do. He said "come in" and when I went inside, he was masturbating and had porn on his cell phone. I don't work there anymore. My parents told me to stfu and keep my mouth shut and not tell the authorities.
What I want to understand is WHERE these dudes learned this behavior from and how on earth can they possibly imagine that it's ok? Never in my wildest dreams would I ever attempt or say some of the things that are written up here, like it's totally unimaginable. I've had female coworkers grab my ass on many occasions and to be honest, I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do about it. But that's pretty minor compared to some of the things talked about up there. I guess being in positions of power gets to a lot of people's head where they think they can do/say whatever they want?? What the hell happened to professionalism in the work place?? Ugh!
I was working the Wendy’s drive through when a couple guys drove up. They asked “what time do you get off?” I responded with a time and he said “Can I watch?” I didn’t even understand it. I was 14.
Worked at a chinese restaurant once, met a co-worker there who was 57 and married with 2 kids that I know. I noticed that they kept trying to observe me whenever I was popping into the kitchen, I befriended them after introducing myself and began noticing that their behaviour changed towards me on and off. Some days they would act randomly cold and other days they would be happy to see me. I didn’t seem to mind them at first, until I started hearing them giggle every time I finished talking to them or whenever they approached me. I didn’t understand why they would do that so I started feeling uncomfortable. They would stare at me often whenever I was in and around the kitchen. I wasn’t able to talk to the manager because I know they wouldn’t believe me. They did this every time I worked there and ended up getting away with it by making the manager assume that I was the one trying to get attracted to them and continued to do so until I finally left and still creeped me to this day
Can't decide if it's different in Australia, or it was because I was fat, shy and ugly but I never got hit on in over 40 years.
I must be uglier than I thought because I've never experienced something so disgusting.
I was extremely lucky when o was able to work. I never had any male coworkers make me feel uncomfortable. It was always customers who did it. I did work at a nightclub 20 years ago that was a meat market. I got hit on by men and women there, drunk and sober. I never really told anyone because my husband also worked there and all of the floor walkers and doormen were overly protective of me. I did find out later that management had a rating system for prospective women employees. It was a scale of 1-10 in 3 categories: looks, personality and intelligence.
Let me just begin by saying that I've worked in male dominated industries my entire life. So obviously, I'm not some milquetoast. But I took just "a job" until my former employer got his new business up & running. I worked for the NW Headquarters of Century 21 Real Estate in 1990(ish). I worked as an admin assistant. I was in the copy room arranging flyers for our "next big event!!". One of the brokers walked up behind me when I was at the copy machine, and while getting far too close, cupped my ass. I was startled to be sure. I turned around, looked this prick in the eye and said, "Kendall, I'm as tall as you are and quite strong. If you ever touch me again, I will rip your arm off at the elbow and shove it so far up your ass you'll be able to touch your tonsils with your own f*****g hand. Is that understood?" And then went immediately to HR. It was reported, but even the manager said there wasn't much she could do - it was "The Boys" (owners) Club. They hosted cocktail parties for the brokers every Friday afternoon, BTW.
When I was 23 pr 24, I worked at one place where the one Forman treated me like crap because I wouldn’t sit under his desk for him. Same place another manager would wear spandex to work every day, on a few occasions he would stand behind and between the ovens where I could see him, pull down the front of his pants and waggle his dangle around while trying to get my attention. His wife worked there too. At another place, restaurant, I was wiping off the outside of the counter and the two guys that did the dishwashing were sitting at a table watching me and saying lewd comments. We had to wear tight black pants and white shirts tucked into our pants. I told the manager and she said they don’t know they are doing anything wrong. They are not from our country..... Where I work now I have had a few customers make crude comments too.
Hmmm I must be super ugly, because in my many years of work, I never had a boss or co-worker who did or said anything inappropriate. The odd "not so appropriate " joke floated around some of the offices sometimes, but never directed at me, and I know that if I'd said something the jokes would have stopped. Personally, I felt they were harmless. But that was also 40 yrs ago. Times have changed.
As a 15 year old girl, I'm kinda scared now...I want to get a job at an aquarium when I turn 16 but now idk if I should...what kind of jobs can I do from home anyways so this stuff won't happen to me..?
When I was maybe 16-17 I got a job in a local Chinese restaurant. I was let go after 4 hours because all the male waiters and cooks “were distracted by me” I did nothing out of ordinary other than avoid the come ons. I was told Im distracting and I wasn’t a good fit. I was given $15 cash and told to leave by female manager.
Strange that everyone could mention only one instance....I can give hundreds. Men are creeps not doubt....but women can be no lesser if they wish to use men for career growth or even just like that. This is a strange world, indeed.
My first job was working at a local primary school, and the cleaning guy kept harassing my supervisor who wasn't much older than I was (ie barely out of our teens). He didn't try to touch her as far as I know, but he said all sorts of inappropriate things and kept trying to pressure her into dating him - frequently, in front of the kids. Once after the school holidays he showed up in our workroom with a friend to back him up, and demanded to know why she hadn't called him during the holidays. Again, this was in front of the kids. She was a timid sort and just stood there smiling nervously and trying to placate him, though I told her in private she should just ask him to leave her alone (remember, I wasn't much more than a kid and was just as unsure of myself as she was). I don't think she ever reported him - he was fired in the end because they caught him urinating into a drain.
Worked at a grocery store where this creepy much older guy would make inappropriate jokes and say disgusting things regarding sex. One day I complained to my manager and all she said was she was sorry but she couldn’t do anything. Just ignore him. In hindsight I wish I went to corporate
Never happened at the workplace, just in med school. The fact I took to announcing I was good at shooting and knife throwing may have something to do with it. As is, outside workplace? Plenty enough crap from attempted assaults to ... Well, let's just say if it had happened at work, I suspect there'd have been just as little care and concern as there was when stuff happened on the street on my way home or from fellow students or random strangers.
This wasn't work, but one of my high school classes. This guy would always feel on my legs and try to get me to feel on him. I moved away from him, but he would just follow me. Eventually I told my sister who told our parents who told the teacher and he was told to leave me alone. He did and I started to feel better. Another instance was this guy who was obsessed with my sister. He was in my senior class and I befriended him. By the time I realized that he was the guy who was harassing my sister, I felt I had to keep up the charade that we were friends because I didn't want him to come after us. He knew the whole time who I was though.
I had a job where the boss continually suggested it would be ok to sleep with him. And, I kid you not, his wife came into the office and told me I had her permission. I was totally mortified for myself and for her. They're still happily married so I guess it works for them. Oh I didn't by the way!
The original question was directed at ladies who work for men, but I was happy to see that men chimed in, because it can happen to ANYONE. I have many stories from my first job at 15 at a pool to now, at 37 years old.
This is absolutely heartbreaking to read all the young men and women who are being harassed, victimized and assaulted by "professionals" and that still they are getting away with it. I guess I had hoped things had really changed since I feel like things improved from my parents' generation to mine. It's important to speak out about these things, because I think everyone is afraid it's only happening to them. For myself, I think the biggest challenge is when I worked in an all male environment, as in, I was the only female on that whole floor. It was in the newspaper and publishing house. There was a story about a woman who had been raped. The sub-editor announced loudly that he didn't understand what the problem was about being raped, because women were basically designed to have penises put in their vaginas, so why was it an issue? This in full audience of all the men on the floor, and me. If you're interested in what I did about it, vote me up and I'll tell y'all.
Im guessing, nothing. But tell us what you wished you did.
Load More Replies...As a guy, I regularly get asked to interact with customers in the stead of my female coworkers. “Aragorn, you wanna take that guy’s order? It’s the pervert again.”
Same at my workplace. We work with a lot of regular customers so we know who's what. If we see perves coming we make sure only males are "available" for them. And females return the favor with taking care of once we feel uncomfortable with.
Load More Replies...I was a server in a Mexican restaurant. A customer grabbed my boob so I "accidentally" dumped a plate of red chili enchiladas onto his suit. He made a big nasty scene and called for the manager. My manager (bless his golden old heart) came over and told him that he saw what happened. He told the jerk to pay his bill and get out before he called the cops. This was in 1971 and I have ever stopped being grateful to him. So there are good guys out there, and always have been. That said, I know there are many twisted creeps out there. Fight back whenever you can.
There was a PE teacher who made us lay with our feet facing him when doing sit ups. He had a really hard time speaking to girls without glancing down and getting red and sweaty and he always watched their butts. He had this way of speaking to us that was all in-your-face and whispery. We were twelve. I REPEAT: WE. WERE. TWELVE. I reported this to the principal (who was a woman) and she did NOTHING.
As a waitress, I can't count the number of times men made sexual or degrading comments aimed at me and other female staff. But the worst of all was when the restaurant owner (in his 60s?) came up behind me, while I was waiting for the customer's drinks at the bar, shoved his hands down the back of my pants, grabbed my panties, and pulled up. He laughed, the bartender laughed, his sleazy friend laughed. Apparently I was the one who couldn't take a joke. I was 18. I was raised "not to complain" and hadn't unlearnt that lesson yet, so I just bit my lip and finished my shift. Quit that week though.
I was once fired for fighting back when a coworker tried to rape me. I thought it was a reasonable deal, since my erstwhile rapist still has the scars on his face from where I scratched him. NEVER let your kids work in restaurants.
I feel completely fortunate and alarmingly solitary when I say that from the age of 15 to today, age 50, that not once have I been harassed or in anyway mistreated by any male co-workers I have had. Even when I was the only female (among about 20 men) working at a boat marina at one point. It saddens me that more women can not say this.
Much appreciated. Some fortunate women are very empathetic. Some are understanding up to a point. I felt pretty frustrated when two women told me "you have to educate" my dozen or so male colleagues. They worked in the theology department in a large university whereas I worked in a small ad agency. Not quite the same recourses...
Load More Replies...I just wonder ... has anyone ever succeeded by being creepy and invasive? Has any guy ever scored (like Beavis and Butt-Head call it) by sending out d**k pics and stuff? Ever? Anywhere? Why do they even try? Male, female, isn't the point ... it's the stupidity in this behaviour that stunns me most...
The d**k picks I think yes. You can find videos about Tinder conversations on the very subject. Really depends on how good looking the guy is I think. I mean if both people were already down to smash, it works. If you send it to enough people one is bound to reciprocate...that's basically the 'dark side' of online dating. You have SO many options that doesn't matter if it doesn't work on the first try. Try again and again until it does.
Load More Replies...When I was 17 I worked at a Starbucks in Atlanta. One of my coworkers kept on hitting on me and grabbing my wrists and pinning me to a wall. When he grabbed me by the waist I punched him. I went to HR and they fired me. When I moved to Boston for college I had the same problem at my job at Barnes & Noble, but HR fired the guy and banned him from going to the store.
Any woman or feminine person considering a job at Pixar or Disney, PLEASE be wary of John Lasseter. He touches, kisses, and grabs women without their consent. They made him leave the studios for six months, but he was still paid to sit on his ass and do nothing. I’m 99% sure he hasn’t changed much, but no one talks about it, probably because he’s a millionaire and he shuts them down quickly. He may be a genius in the animation and storytelling field but that does not excuse his shitty behavior or make him a good person.
I worked at a record shop by my house over the summer and whenever i wore merch for my favorite band, a co-worker who was MARRIED, kept saying they had great songs to have s3x to and suggesting we do it, i kept saying i'm 15 and had a girlfriend, also not attracted to men
Yeah. Got this from co-workers, bosses, and customers, oh my. Bosses - working at a restaurant was the worst. I had a boss who would come up behind the female servers and hug them, wrapping his arms around our front, then say he was just "being friendly" when we told him to stop. Funny how he never felt like "being friendly" with the male servers. Customers - worked at a call center scheduling repair work for a major soda manufacturer's fountain drink machines. We were required to follow the script and say at the end of every call "Is there anything else I can do for you today?" A day would not go by when I didn't get at least one vulgar response to that.
Until men start calling out other men for this type of behaviour it will not stop. Women have tried explaining for literally thousands of years. It doesn't even have to be confrontational or aggressive, just 'c'mon, don't be that guy, you're better than that'. Just let him know you've clocked what's going on and it's not okay with you, another man.
My sister was around 15, working in a restaurant and one of the employees, a man in his 20s constantly "complimented" her body, asked he out, and would put notes in the pockets of her pants (while she was wearing them). She told him to stop, he didn't. She told the owner/boss and his response was "She's very pretty and has to get used to guys acting like this." The boss was our father.
What kind of father thinks it's okay to practically pimp out his daughter??
Load More Replies...Years ago i worked in a bar that served food as well. I went to bring food to a table and there were two business man. One grabbed me by the crotch- not a pinch on the bum- grabbed my by the crotch and squeezed. I won't repeat what he said. I went and told my manager at the time and he said 'they have a huge bill and have been drinking a lot- I won't throw them out until they settle the bill'. I was RAGING and went outside to vent. The bouncer came out to me and asked me what was wrong- when he heard he walked in and LITERALLY grabbed the guy by his neck and dragged him down the stairs in front of the entire bar and booted his a**e literally out onto the street. He then looked at me and said 'never EVER put up with that again'.
In my 20s, a co-worker grapped my boob in nightshift when I was working alone. Kicked him in the nuts and told him if he ever comes closer than 2m of me, I will rip of his balls. Never tried anything again. Second time, we had an old driver that kept harrasing all of us. Our boss didn't do anything, his boss didn't do anything. So one nightsift he grapped my a**e. Slapped him across the face amd told him if he ever comes near me or any of my collegues I will brake his fingers. And lo and behold, he stopped!
FIRST: Parents of underage boys and girls should teach them what sexual harassment is, and tell them they want to know. SECOND: Respond loudly and cause embarrassment. "DID YOU SAY YOU WANT TO F*CK ME? WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?" and repeat it twice. THIRD: Always make a report with the manager, and if they don't take it seriously, work your way up the ladder. FOURTH: If management won't protect you, contact the police. You're probably going to lose your job anyway, so make as big a mess as you can. Sign a complaint. FIFTH: Always write down what happened, time-date-place, exactly what was said or done, and who was there. Keep a diary. It is admissible in court.
I had a pe teacher whose nickname was Harrassmassen in jr, high, he would tell girls the shorter the shorts, the higher the grade. He is still teaching pe, and now is teaching health as well
I'm a single, straight, somewhat introverted African American man with a slim, but very athletic build. My (now former) workplace, had more women than men -- about an 8:1 ratio. A few months ago my newly hired, and rather attractive, female section chief openly eyeballed me and told me how much she liked my body in front of everyone in our section -- about 20 people. Although I never replied, because I didn't really know what to say or do, for the next several months she made much trouble for me trying to get me fired, including making false accusations to the division supervisor against me, giving me bad (and undue) performance reviews, overloading my workload, stirring up my other female coworkers against me, and attempting to entrap me in compromising positions, etc.. Division chief was virtually unhelpful. After months of enduring their crap, I filed a formal harassment complaint and later resigned. Nothing's happened to her. I'm just saying it happens to men too.
As a woman in the workplace you go from young and harrassed, to avoided as a hire because you might get pregnant, to ignored because you had the audacity to get older. Super fun
I had a job as a caregiver for a 71 year old man who had a stroke and is now in a wheelchair. He is a church friend of my parents. They got me this job; I don't work for an agency. I came to work on a Friday, knocked on the door as I always do. He said "come in" and when I went inside, he was masturbating and had porn on his cell phone. I don't work there anymore. My parents told me to stfu and keep my mouth shut and not tell the authorities.
What I want to understand is WHERE these dudes learned this behavior from and how on earth can they possibly imagine that it's ok? Never in my wildest dreams would I ever attempt or say some of the things that are written up here, like it's totally unimaginable. I've had female coworkers grab my ass on many occasions and to be honest, I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do about it. But that's pretty minor compared to some of the things talked about up there. I guess being in positions of power gets to a lot of people's head where they think they can do/say whatever they want?? What the hell happened to professionalism in the work place?? Ugh!
I was working the Wendy’s drive through when a couple guys drove up. They asked “what time do you get off?” I responded with a time and he said “Can I watch?” I didn’t even understand it. I was 14.
Worked at a chinese restaurant once, met a co-worker there who was 57 and married with 2 kids that I know. I noticed that they kept trying to observe me whenever I was popping into the kitchen, I befriended them after introducing myself and began noticing that their behaviour changed towards me on and off. Some days they would act randomly cold and other days they would be happy to see me. I didn’t seem to mind them at first, until I started hearing them giggle every time I finished talking to them or whenever they approached me. I didn’t understand why they would do that so I started feeling uncomfortable. They would stare at me often whenever I was in and around the kitchen. I wasn’t able to talk to the manager because I know they wouldn’t believe me. They did this every time I worked there and ended up getting away with it by making the manager assume that I was the one trying to get attracted to them and continued to do so until I finally left and still creeped me to this day
Can't decide if it's different in Australia, or it was because I was fat, shy and ugly but I never got hit on in over 40 years.
I must be uglier than I thought because I've never experienced something so disgusting.
I was extremely lucky when o was able to work. I never had any male coworkers make me feel uncomfortable. It was always customers who did it. I did work at a nightclub 20 years ago that was a meat market. I got hit on by men and women there, drunk and sober. I never really told anyone because my husband also worked there and all of the floor walkers and doormen were overly protective of me. I did find out later that management had a rating system for prospective women employees. It was a scale of 1-10 in 3 categories: looks, personality and intelligence.
Let me just begin by saying that I've worked in male dominated industries my entire life. So obviously, I'm not some milquetoast. But I took just "a job" until my former employer got his new business up & running. I worked for the NW Headquarters of Century 21 Real Estate in 1990(ish). I worked as an admin assistant. I was in the copy room arranging flyers for our "next big event!!". One of the brokers walked up behind me when I was at the copy machine, and while getting far too close, cupped my ass. I was startled to be sure. I turned around, looked this prick in the eye and said, "Kendall, I'm as tall as you are and quite strong. If you ever touch me again, I will rip your arm off at the elbow and shove it so far up your ass you'll be able to touch your tonsils with your own f*****g hand. Is that understood?" And then went immediately to HR. It was reported, but even the manager said there wasn't much she could do - it was "The Boys" (owners) Club. They hosted cocktail parties for the brokers every Friday afternoon, BTW.
When I was 23 pr 24, I worked at one place where the one Forman treated me like crap because I wouldn’t sit under his desk for him. Same place another manager would wear spandex to work every day, on a few occasions he would stand behind and between the ovens where I could see him, pull down the front of his pants and waggle his dangle around while trying to get my attention. His wife worked there too. At another place, restaurant, I was wiping off the outside of the counter and the two guys that did the dishwashing were sitting at a table watching me and saying lewd comments. We had to wear tight black pants and white shirts tucked into our pants. I told the manager and she said they don’t know they are doing anything wrong. They are not from our country..... Where I work now I have had a few customers make crude comments too.
Hmmm I must be super ugly, because in my many years of work, I never had a boss or co-worker who did or said anything inappropriate. The odd "not so appropriate " joke floated around some of the offices sometimes, but never directed at me, and I know that if I'd said something the jokes would have stopped. Personally, I felt they were harmless. But that was also 40 yrs ago. Times have changed.
As a 15 year old girl, I'm kinda scared now...I want to get a job at an aquarium when I turn 16 but now idk if I should...what kind of jobs can I do from home anyways so this stuff won't happen to me..?
When I was maybe 16-17 I got a job in a local Chinese restaurant. I was let go after 4 hours because all the male waiters and cooks “were distracted by me” I did nothing out of ordinary other than avoid the come ons. I was told Im distracting and I wasn’t a good fit. I was given $15 cash and told to leave by female manager.
Strange that everyone could mention only one instance....I can give hundreds. Men are creeps not doubt....but women can be no lesser if they wish to use men for career growth or even just like that. This is a strange world, indeed.
My first job was working at a local primary school, and the cleaning guy kept harassing my supervisor who wasn't much older than I was (ie barely out of our teens). He didn't try to touch her as far as I know, but he said all sorts of inappropriate things and kept trying to pressure her into dating him - frequently, in front of the kids. Once after the school holidays he showed up in our workroom with a friend to back him up, and demanded to know why she hadn't called him during the holidays. Again, this was in front of the kids. She was a timid sort and just stood there smiling nervously and trying to placate him, though I told her in private she should just ask him to leave her alone (remember, I wasn't much more than a kid and was just as unsure of myself as she was). I don't think she ever reported him - he was fired in the end because they caught him urinating into a drain.
Worked at a grocery store where this creepy much older guy would make inappropriate jokes and say disgusting things regarding sex. One day I complained to my manager and all she said was she was sorry but she couldn’t do anything. Just ignore him. In hindsight I wish I went to corporate
Never happened at the workplace, just in med school. The fact I took to announcing I was good at shooting and knife throwing may have something to do with it. As is, outside workplace? Plenty enough crap from attempted assaults to ... Well, let's just say if it had happened at work, I suspect there'd have been just as little care and concern as there was when stuff happened on the street on my way home or from fellow students or random strangers.
This wasn't work, but one of my high school classes. This guy would always feel on my legs and try to get me to feel on him. I moved away from him, but he would just follow me. Eventually I told my sister who told our parents who told the teacher and he was told to leave me alone. He did and I started to feel better. Another instance was this guy who was obsessed with my sister. He was in my senior class and I befriended him. By the time I realized that he was the guy who was harassing my sister, I felt I had to keep up the charade that we were friends because I didn't want him to come after us. He knew the whole time who I was though.