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50 Women Who Called Out Sexist Things That Are Still Blatantly Accepted
InterviewWhen faced with injustice, you generally have three ways how you can react. You can ignore it, keep your head down, and get on with your day without making any waves. You can try to be sneaky and make subtle 5D chess moves to outplay the situation to your own advantage. Or you can call the injustice out and shine a light on it for everyone to see, bold as brass, sometimes using humor to do it. That way, it’s harder to hide the injustice.
This list is about the times that women and men called out sexism and misogyny, as shared on the r/TrollXChromosomes subreddit. People from all walks of life, from everyday employees and parents to skilled professionals, confronted sexism on social media head-on to help everyone. Upvote the responses by these brave people that you agree with and let us know what you think in the comment section below.
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With Pleasure, Julianne
Too Many Of Us Have An Uncle Randy
I Agree
The r/TrollXChromosomes will be celebrating its 10th birthday on the last day of March. "We're currently in the middle of intensive planning for the 10th Cakeday celebrations. It'll be so much better than our 5th Cakeday shindig, folks will cry. But we can't tell you more than that, lest our plans are foiled," the moderators told Bored Panda when we reached out to them.
They’re also steadily moving toward the 1 million member mark. Currently, they’re at just over 802k, so consider joining them and giving them a boost. They post about a variety of topics. In their words, they’re a subreddit for “rage comics and other memes with a girly slant.”
However, this doesn’t change the fact that the subreddit is also home to some serious posts that show how deeply sexism is enrooted in our society. Even to this very day. And while sexism can be subtle and covert, it can also be very overt. One example of this is women getting harassed on the streets. So while it’s one thing to confront sexism online, it’s a whole other ball game when it’s done in real life.
Just Going To Leave This One Here
This Hurts Deep Because It’s True
Agree. But they don’t actually respect that man. They just say “but he don’t mind if you have friends, right?” “I have a boyfriend” really only works because some men think it’s the only possible way THEY could be rejected when mama said they were so handsome!
I’ve Never Heard This Explained So Succinctly (Credit Fu**k_patriarchy On Instagram)
Bored Panda spoke about how women should respond if they’re ever in a situation where they’re either being catcalled or openly harassed on the street with Emily May, the co-founder and the executive director of ‘Hollaback!’ The organization aims to end harassment in all of its forms.
May explained that women should always trust their instincts. “Listen to what your gut is telling you. There is no ‘right’ or ‘perfect’ response to harassment; however, studies show that having some kind of response (either in the moment or later) can reduce the trauma associated with harassment. If you decide to respond, do it for you.”
She said that it’s always all right to do nothing, smile, and keep walking. It’s always up to you to decide what’s right for you and if you want to confront your harassers. It’s always harder to do this in-person than behind the safety of your screen.
Yuuuuup
Parenting Tips
As An Extremely Gay Lady, I’d Like To Co-Sign The F**k Out Of This
For those saying "not all men," that also proves the point. It was never the clothes. Still, people continue to blame women for dressing "provocatively."
As May put it in an interview with Bored Panda, your safety is the main priority. However, if you feel safe and choose to respond to your harassers, there are three main approaches that you can take: setting boundaries, engaging bystanders, and documenting the situation. Let’s go into detail about each approach.
“Set the Boundary. Tell the person harassing you exactly what you want them to do and why. Look them in the eye and denounce their behavior with a strong, clear voice. Many people prefer to name the behavior. For example, you can say, ‘Do not [what they’re doing], that’s harassment.’ You can also simply say ‘that is not okay’ or ‘don’t speak to me like that.’ Say what feels natural to you,” May from ‘Hollaback!’ explained.
Good Lesson
My friend told me she was so happy she is turning 40, because finally people have stopped with the baby questions, because now they think maybe she does not have kids because she is too old. And now she does not have do defend herself for not having kids. Jeez, why can't people just back off? Like, do people ask a women questions like that because they think they forgot to have kids and they need to be reminded?
Where’s The Lie
It isn’t logical, it’s sexist and ageist and pro forced birth, and by nature illogical.
Funny How Rarely This Comes Up With Christians
“The important thing is that you aren’t apologetic in your response, and that you don’t engage with them after you set the boundary. Oftentimes, people who harass may try to argue with you or dismiss you through further conversation or by making fun of you. As tempting as it may be to get into a verbal war with them, we don’t recommend it. The attention may further feed their abusive behavior and cause the situation to escalate. Once you’ve said your piece, keep it moving.”
The second approach is engaging bystanders by telling them what’s going on and what they can do to help you. “Not all bystanders have been trained to respond, but typically people do understand that street harassment is not okay and they want to help you, so what can you do to ask for that help? You will need to loudly announce to people around you what the harasser just said or did and identify them, like: ‘That man in the red shirt is following me. I need help!’” May explained.
I Want To Meet This Heroic Mystery Woman
Absolutely!! We don't even wear makeup or paint our nails to impress men. If there were no men in the world we would look exactly like we do now - but wear much less clothes....
Be A Proud Spinster !
She continued: “Then tell people what you want them to do, like, ‘Can you wait here with me? Can you call the police?’ Remember that it is okay to ask for help, it does not mean that you are weak, in fact, it means that you are strong because you’re acknowledging that street harassment, in fact, hurts.”
The Only Way To Get Republicans To Care About Black Lives
So many issues approached in just a dozen words. Clever girl.
The List Could Go On And On...
Try it with race too. "First White Astronaut", "First White President."
They Should Both Be Free
The third and final approach is documenting the situation. If you feel that you’re safe and not currently in danger, you can consider taking a picture or a video of your experience. Or you can ask a bystander to do so.
“This could include the person harassing you, their license plate, or the scene. Some people use photos or videos to report an incident—for example, if the person was at work when this happened people may choose to report it to their employer.”
Women Are Not Free Therapy
This Is So Accurate
This Tweet Hits Hard
May detailed: “Others use it to share their story on social media or anonymously through ihollaback.org. Many find it to be empowering to turn the lens off of them and onto the person harassing them. It often has the potential to be hugely transformative. If it feels right to you then do it. It doesn’t work that way for everyone so ask yourself, ‘Does it feel right for me?’ or ‘Is there another way to respond?’”
According to May, there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ response to harassment: “There is no such thing as a perfect response, this is not your fault, and you are not alone. Take the time to recover and employ strategies for taking care of yourself.”
I Swear, The Audacity
Someone Said It!!!
This Is What We Want. Not The Future, Now
One thing that you can do is to develop a ‘quick ritual’ to help you ‘shake off’ what happened every time that you get harassed. Having a friend that you contact when this occurs can also help. Sharing your story with the people you trust can be very powerful and healing. What’s more, affirming to yourself that you deserve better and that you won’t let ‘the haters’ get you down is another response.
“The idea here is that you want you to develop resilience so that you can get out there and keep being you in the world,” May told Bored Panda.
So Basically
The only appropriate response to this is "Yes." If they're unaware enough to ask it, that's the answer they deserve
Let Her Name Be Known
Invasive, Huh?
My Boyfriend Didn’t Appreciate This One As Much As I Did
Success Is The Best Revenge
Absolutely nothing wrong with braids. It's your hair... do with it what you want! Braids look great on her!
Unfortunately True
I’m a fan of poet Dylan Thomas’ lines: “Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” While the context is important, you can interpret the words to mean that you should fight for what’s right instead of giving in to the pressure placed on you to stay quiet. Just remember that your safety is paramount: online and IRL.
F**k The Patriarchy
Truth
Mansplaining Fail
It Never F**king Ends
Wow, they cry you didn’t like sports? I figured it would be a relief to many men who don’t like the pressure of having to enjoy sports when they don’t. I’ve never dated a guy who seriously cares about sports. That’s so cringe and middle America basic.
I look forward to my periods (kind of). I am either in a near death state of being, or I push myself at the gym to get through the things I hate at the same time. (Exercise is good for you. I can have a hate/love relationship with it.) EDIT: I have passed out, vomited, and were sent to the hospital from pms pains. For some odd reason, I push myself even more during “let the gates of hell open” week. I still got three tubs of ice cream.
"Women R So Emotional"
Yep
And The Sinister Version, "If She Has Boobs, She's Biologically Ready For Sex"
Bless The Boys
Unless you're careful, boys are taught to believe their feelings are logic. Girls are gaslit to believe their logic are feelings.
So True
Girls Are Always Taught How To Stay Safe, It's Not As Common To Teach Boys To Not Create Unsafe Situations
How Come Tho?
F**king Truth
Or valid. Or justifiable. Or helpful. Or explanatory. Feel free to continue this list.
Load More Replies...I spoke up. Straight after. I was torn, bruised, had witnesses. Managed to get the f*****s wedding ring with his name and date of marriage on it. And I was still made to feel like a liar who was making it up. By the police. THATS F*****G WHY WE DONT REPORT THIS S**T.
I'm so sorry to hear that. But yes sadly that is often the case when you report sexual abuse.
Load More Replies...You cannot know how you will behave in a situation until it happens to you. People tend to underestimate others' pain.
*PTSD is REAL. Plus it's not socially acceptable to talk about it - it makes people uncomfortable or they assume you just want attention. So many layers here on why people dont or havent, but they should. It's a serious WAY TOO F*****G COMMON issue.
I developed Dissociative Identity Disorder after being assaulted. I literally COULDN'T EVEN REMEMBER that it had happened until the memory was triggered years later, when I started to finally understand my diagnosis.
Same thing happened to me. I was diagnosed with dissociative PTSD disorder. I still struggle with it over 20 years later. Trauma really messes with your brain (literally).
Load More Replies...100% this. When I was in high school, my boyfriend shoved my hand down his pants after I had repeatedly told him I didn't wanna touch his d**k. It was probably 10 years before I realized that what he did could be considered assault.
iF i wAS SAILing THe TitAnic i woUld'VE liSTeNed TO tHe IcEBERg ALerts.
I was told this in court by the guys lawyer....was also asked what I was dressed like, that I was asking for it, and that also that he was the victim....when we do say something we are not believed, treated like trash, forced to see the asshole in court....and then see him get no more than a slap in the wrist.
That is victim blaming. People want to think they would not have made mistake x so THEY would never get raped. Which isn't true, it can happen to anyone, but it feels instantly SAFE. Same with saying 'aren't you over it yet, just move on' et cetera. THEY don't want to think about the bad thing they hope they will never have to experience because they don't want to feel powerless or akward. Also tonic immobility. Over 70! % of men and women freeze or coöperate when attacked. This isn't a reaction you can train away, it just happens. So please never ask 'why didn't you say no or why didn't you scream or struggle'.
Also please tell your kids this. Telling them they may say no or hit the other person or something sounds like the right advice but it might also mean they will be more hesitant to tell you or another adult because they should have know what to do, right?
Load More Replies...Thank you! I was assaulted when I was 6, try getting a 6 year old to develop adult logic and reasoning skills.
It's called "shock from trauma", and you are also afraid, as I was, back in my teens, that your own father will beat you to s**t b/c you got raped. That you will be told you deserved it. That you will be told you're upset the boy didn't ask you on a date. That that that.... But never that you need to come forward, it's gonna be okay, we'll take care of you.
It is true that a lot of women (and men) don't know they were sexually assaulted because the practice has become second nature in all over the world. But I think the bigger reason why women/girls don't speak up soon is that we are all dealing with the PTSD part of being sexually assaulted. Sexual Assault is not just a physical attack but an emotional and mental one as well. It takes a lot to work yourself back up to be strong enough to have to relive the offense to talk about it without breaking down.
Didn't know that what happened shouldn't have. Thought they had agency and were made to feel 'complicit' Tried telling someone and were disbelieved. Now, 20 or 30 years later, they realise what happened and that they were groomed, had no way of giving consent and think that as an adult they WILL now be believed. Meanwhile the idiots ask 'why did you wait?'
When I was younger and was very open with one of my friends, he seemed to understand. After I told him it wasnt okay to want to knife f**k your ex gf, he told me I should have been raped and all this horrible s**t. I never talked to him again. But that made me not open up again to anyone else for literally years. People are the worst.
I'm so sorry to hear that... People can also be the best though. I hope you have found or will find people that are worth your trust.
Load More Replies...I actually had a question about that if y’all willing to help... when I was eight I knew a deacon at my church, I was an alter server and he liked me. He was kinda old, married, had grandkids. One day at another church, he kissed me on the forehead. It made me feel really uncomfortable, but I didn’t think much of if. Obviously it’s not as bad as what some people have been through, but would that be considered a breaching of a barrier? I knew him in a professional relationship, and my parents didn’t know him very well. Opinions?
I was terrified *I* would get in trouble for it, be ostracized in my male dominated field, lose my job and my residency training position, lose my chance to become a surgeon.... because of what HE did. AND I was afraid people would think I didn't deserve the job I had, since I was probably "only hired by him because he wanted me physically". So I never told. Of the few people I have shared this story with, some still like to Monday-morning-quarter-back and tell me I should have reported him, and I'm like "bish, shut up, I'm sorry I even shared, it's none of your business". Fast forward to Brett Kavanaugh, and even VP Kamala Harris. She dated someone at work and all the sudden it becomes "well that's the only reason she advanced her career, was by sleeping her way up". THIS!!! THIS sort of s**t is WHY WE DON'T COME FORWARD!!! We're just trying to live our damn lives and have jobs in fields that previously were only men. I'm sorry I have a begins too.our liveour damn
I was telling someone a story about my childhood as to why I think I get so tense at being touched and, as I went on, he started to get a weird look on his face. When I asked him about it, he said 'Sounds to me like assault.' Asked him what he meant. 'You were held down and repeatedly tickled while saying no, right?' 'Yeah.' 'Your friends kept pinching your sides even after you kept telling them to stop, right?' 'Yeah, they thought my reaction was funny.' 'Sounds to me like assault, dude.' I LITERALLY had not made that connection. I was told, as a child, when I'd stalk away to my room after being ticked, that I'm overreacting and pouting.
Think of how that affects a child's mind. You're told to say no and tell people you don't like that if anyone touches you in a place you don't like, ANYWHERE on your body. What does it do when it's your family ignoring your will in such a fashion. It doesn't have to be sexual assault to be assault.
Load More Replies...Got this absolute GEM from an (ex) friend of mine: "Well, don't go telling people that [recent ex-boyfriend] was abusive, they'll just think you're being vengeful." - for the record, no it wasn't a fabrication - he was horribly abusive, just not in a way that showed the wounds front 'n' center. I was told by another woman to keep it quite because it would make me look like a horrible person.
The problem with this is, most girls are not sat down and talked to about WHAT exactly sexual assault IS. Sitting young girls down and explaining to them what sexual assault IS, how to deal with it, how to get away from it, how to report it, should be taught before any talks about drugs, sex, or schooling.
I've reported right away and they treated me like I didn't matter and tried brushing it all off. I don't blame other victims for not coming forward. It sucks..so much..
I was sexually harassed when i was 8 and didnt realize it until i was 11.
The problem is that over time our memories are very unreliable. I vividly recall a road trip I went on with some friends my freshman year in college. I was recalling a story about it to one of them and he said "I hadn't even met you then. You weren't on that road trip." Bro, I VIVIDLY remembered this trip and told the story down to the smallest detail. Well, it turns out, he was right. I didn't meet him until the summer after that road trip happened. And photos on social media backed that up. I was indeed NOT on that road trip. I had heard the stories enough times from enough people that I could recall all the details of a trip I had convinced myself I went on. That's how bad our brains are at remembering stuff, and that's why we have a statute of limitations on rape claims. That's why when an accusation is made, it's good to have a friend, family member or doctor come forth to back up the claim... someone who was aware of the situation at the time it happened.
I am happy to hear you would speak up about being assaulted (sexually or otherwise) right away if it were to ever happen, I wish more people would so these idiots can be put behind bars. When some people are sexually assaulted though they feel extremely vulnerable afterward, especially if their life or the lives of their loved ones are threatened if they were to notify anyone. There is 0% feeling of security after someone is assaulted, so what is said, what they are threatened with is very real and very believable (at least at the time being if not much longer), which can cause them to keep it to themselves.
lets not even start with the emotional and mental torture most abusers inflict before and afterwards.
But would a man, who says that, report it if a woman sexually assaulted him?
No. I know the tweet said girls and women, but it's also true for everyone. Most people who get assaulted don't report it because they think they're not gonna be believed or people would blame them for it :/
Load More Replies...Dillon, I pray to every known god that you do not/never will have kids. No sons so you don't teach them to think in your backwards ways, and no daughters so they don't have to deal woth your sh!t. Different forms of assault and harassment are so normalized that a lot of people don't realize that they are bad. And if a person experiences a traumatic experience, often their brain will block out the memory or try to rationaloze it. You probably complain about there not being a national men's day on women's day. (Which, btw, there is.)
Load More Replies...Yes, Just Like That
Misogyny Running Deep
Even in this 19th century arrangement, the women did not/do not live "for free". Women have been working (outside the home) throughout history, and there was a time that the husband legally owned all their earnings. And in addition, women in a "traditional" arrangement are usually expected to do all the cooking, cleaning, childcare (where applicable), and miscellaneous housework.
This Explains A Whole F**king Lot, Actually
Unconstitutionality
She is right, you cannot be prosecuted by a state for something you did in another state, as its law did not apply on you when you did it.
I Don't Know Why This Made Me Laugh So Hard
Planned Parenthood caught my grandma's cervical cancer. She was over 60. She could afford the GYN there. The end. PP wins.
Take Notes Hallmark
"Why Do They Say 'Women And Children First'? What About The Men? Why Is Society Anti-Men?"
for the men who feel attacked or sad in the comments, I feel attacked and sad when I, a thirteen-year-old girl, get catcalled for wearing leggings or dress coded for "distracting the boys from their education by wearing a tank top in 100-degree weather". This society is so inherently sexist and when you say that people speaking out about their experiences is hurting your feelings, perhaps you are the issue.
Heres one of the big ones: If a woman has a lot of sex, she's a sl*t or a wh*re, if a man has a lot of sex he's a "legend" a "proper lad" etc...
And once labelled , a woman is fair game for sexual violence
Load More Replies...Today I was treated to two instances of being talked down to because of my gender and I was mega p*ssed. Where did this happen? In the two hobby shops here in Melbourne CBD, Victoria Australia.How did this happen? Because I dared to go in and ask got something I needed but apparently these men knew more about what I needed than I did, even after I already told them both I knew exactly what I was after and what it was for. They’re both lucky I was able to keep my temper and not give them both a fkn black eye. Female staff member just looked the other way and my bf just stood there and did nothing :( I’m sick of being treated like an idiot just because I’m female 😡
I have a pretty masculine hobby, I ride motorbikes. We are ALL so over being chopsed at by men who often know less about the engine than we do. I know fuckall about engines, and even I can tell some things are wrong. I told a recovery control that my bike tyre couldn't be repaired at the roadside. He said, oh I'm sure it can, just sit tight and the truck will be along soon". Truck arrives, and lo! My bike tyre is unrepairable roadside... whats that, you'll have to despatch another truck to remove the bike to the shop? The drivers were fine, but equally pissed off.
Load More Replies...A lot of dìcks are about to be in a twist over this one.
Dudes in comments be like: "Oh I felt super uncomfortable reading this article. Why are you posting stuff like this ?Boo #notallmen". Bro, if you felt uncomfortable reading about this s**t in an article think about how it feels for the women that have to experience this kind of crap themselves, in real life, all the goddammed time. Hint: it's quite a bit worse than uncomfortable. Bonus: implying that the reason why you are an unempathetic, whiny, sexist amoeba is because all the "woke" people are so aggressive and rude to you about this topic is pretty f*****g pathetic
The men who are heroes are the ones who have leaped up when they see or hear a waitress respond to a guy who just groped her, and take that pos out of his chair and grab him between his legs. Only then does a guy truly understand how it is for a woman to be groped by a man?
Load More Replies...The level of anger this article has generated saddens me. We still have so far to go. Acknowledging there's a problem is the first step in resolving it. It does not mean anyone here has been personally accused. As for the 'what-about'-ers, it's not a competition.
I just went through the list and 88% of the posts were about a specific guy "this guy said this to me", or about a specific type of guy "men who say ___ are jerks". Yet people are crying in the comments here "Why are they blaming all men? I didn't do anything? You are so mean!!". They DIDN'T blame all men. You clearly need to work on your reading comprehension skills.
hello i am from the future. (This is still an issue in 2022)
Load More Replies...I feel sad for women who put up with this crap. Even more so, for the ones who married assholes and assumed they would change over time...
It’s articles like these that remind me that learning more about women’s issues is a continuous process because these are continuous problems. Thank you everyone for sharing, it’s helpful to see discussion.
The amount of angry comments speak for themselves. I don’t remember the women of bored panda being this pressed when there was a post addressing how toxic masculinity harms men.
One thing that pisses me off most about `pro-life` is that they really think that a some growing cells have more rights and need more protection then a whole living human being. And as soon as a baby is born when someone couldn't get an abortion those same people are nowhere to be found
Maybe you don't understand that, so I will make it clear for you : murder is wrong.
Load More Replies...I was a competitive figure skater during high school, and my gym teacher refused to let me do any of the 'strong' exercises (ie using any weights over 5IBS) because I was a girl. My best friend at the time would always trade w/ me after the teacher forced me to only use the light ones b/c he wasn't able to use the 15IBS, but I could (in situps and the like). Also going to college and being told that women should stay at home to fix the house up nice and have dinner ready when the man walks into the door, and shouldn't be in classes learning how to fix cars. The high school also refused to let the girls wear jeans and tshirts, only long dresses, polos and either skirts or dress pants. The boys usually wore tshirts and jeans.
#1: me, 7 years old: Mom? When I sit on pop-pop's lap, he touches me down there. Mom: Then don't sit on his lap! me: to my 7 year old self; if it happens again, it's my fault. It did. Many, many times. Until I was 15. Sadly, he was widowed and lived with us, his only daughter's family cause he couldn't live with his sons as they would clash like roosters.
It’s insane that, that sick lowlife of a so-called, ‘grandfather’ did that to you— it’s also insane that your mother and any other person didn’t call the police on him to throw him in prison.
Load More Replies...I was listening Willow Smith "21st Century Girl" while reading this and it saddened me and the word on her shirt said "Boys need to learn" or something. True they do *I am 2 lazy 2 go back nd check *
Articles like this make me sick.. I had to stop reading. It's always an endless circle of arguments... Screen devices have made it so much easier for people to say offensive things to one another. Disgusting..
I feel a lot of these things are only in America, but can any women tell me if I'm right?
No this is everywhere. I'm in nz and there is a super toxic culture for women and for men
Load More Replies...This scratches my nerves very uncomfortably. I am male. I might have done some of these things. Don't get me wrong, I am in control of my libido as much as I am in control of my aggressions or possessive impulses - I don't steal, I don't hit, I don't molest, let alone rape. But I do have impulses. I do have the impulse to take what isn't mine, to assault who did me wrong, to... again take what is not mine. I think we all have, but I hope from sentient beings that we can and will control them. But this sad experiences of so many girls and women tell different stories. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to react. Ignoring what I have been taught as gallantery - open doors, taking the heavy lifting, treating ladies like fragile, delicate beings - strikes me as rude behaviour, but doing so is subliminal sexist. Offering company or having an eye over the drinks of girls or butting in in a quarrel, I just end up looking like the next offender waiting in line...
Reading this again, it sounds like the "it's not me" whine you're so rightfully sick off. Sorry. What can I, as an individual male, do - other than not being that guy and making sure my sons won't be, either? Of course I should step in where I see missing consent. But: a) I once got mobbed by a bunch of sickos because "their girl" was polite to me and I was polite to her. We're talking about holding the door and thanks... So please don't assume that every man in your vicinity has the balls to jump in like superman but just doesn't care. Those of us who do care don't have the balls to jump in, because we are the ones that get mauled by those sexist macho sickos, too. b) more than once I got berated by the girl since obviously I disturbed their crude mating ritual where she wants to be stalked after her first 3 "No!"s. She wants no softy gay limp noodle but a real man who can take her like he pleases... like what the hell, girl?! Ill try to be a better person, to help where Im welcome.
Load More Replies...My parents tell me to wear pants when my dad's friend cones over, I was wearing a hoodie and jeans, he stared me up and down like a piece of meat, his wife was right there, my mom stepped in for me but my dad didn't do anything. Please teach your boys respect so they don't grow up to put other girls in my situation, which is nothing compared to what others go through
The U.S. is really heading in the wrong direction. How is it possible in this day and age to ban abortions? I'm glad I live in Norway, it seems there are a lot more issues between genders than where I live.
I know im going to get downvoted to hell for this but some the post is toxic and rude. Abuse does apply to everyone. I know abuse can occur but it does happen to everyone.
Still wondering why BP insists on posting articles that do nothing but incite people to name call, half the comments are hidden because they're rude, obnoxious and mean, lots of the usual America Bashing, lots of down votes for anyone who politely and intelligently doesn't post with the accepted mindset of the other BP members, lots of misinformation and the usual division into "you" them" Republicans" Americans" you're ignorant" garbage as "comments". Of all the laughing and crying I've done on this site today, it all slams to a halt and I leave because I just don't see a reason to choose and feature articles that are just going to upset people and bring out the trolls or hit a nerve. There's so much out there so why fish around on Reddit and Twitter and IG and FB for the most dividing stories out there? This site is so much fun when it's interesting and based on the smart, friendly, educating commonalities of us all. Why throw a bomb in all the time and blow things up, BP?
Found this poem on Reddit that I think applies here. Credit to u/Poetry_duderino for it. "Why is it that when she says it, it's all right? Why is it that when I mention it, it ends in a fight? Why are women allowed to do more than men? They say that women are oppressed, and I agree. But in a way, no man is free. We don't mean to be rude, but whatever we do. We say something wrong, and everyone gets mad at you. One wrong word, one wrong leap. You take the jump and it ends in a heap. A bunch of trash, you're put by. It can hurt someone so much, they want to die." All the stuff that people say about us dudes hurts, too. Keep that in mind before posting things like this.
That post is not about diminishing the struggles of men under patriarchy. It is entirely about pointing out the bullshit women endure. Try to walk in women's shoes for a minute, it won't harm you. Some empathy maybe.
Load More Replies...We need to stop making women responsible for unwanted pregnancies. The truth of the matter is that men are responsible, 100%! Outraged? Think that's a ridiculous comment? Consider this then , men have control over where and when they ejaculated. Women have no control over when they ovulate unless they are on the pill. No sperm no pregnant.
Really, the problem isn't men. The problem is that all birth control methods available on the market have some kind of disadvantage and the whole burden is usually placed on women (IUDs, pills, etc.) because we're lacking birth control methods for men! They have no real alternatives between condoms and a vasectomy.
Load More Replies...No one claimed all men were guilty, that's dismissive and a copout. Also there was no man bashing in the article. Might want to examine why your response was so defensive.
Load More Replies...There are tons of instances on BP where they list the accomplishments of men! You just turn a blind eye on those, don't you?
Load More Replies...Ryan Deschanel - shut up with your utter crap about abortions.
Load More Replies...When you share a thought that people believe is wrong, they will tell you that it is wrong. That's how free speech works... or did you think that only you are allowed to share your thoughts?
Load More Replies...Are you for real? That thing that just flew past your head is the point of this article.
Load More Replies...Nah it’s just that you don’t care about issues minorities experience. You can only see yourself, so, naturally you’ll always be a victim.
Load More Replies...Oh jeez. It's not meant to paint all men as bad. It's highlighting the toxicity built into our culture, and how it impacts us women who experience it. And it's guaranteed that whenever women raise these issues, it's rebutted with 'not all men'. It's diverting from the whole point of the article. Think about how uncomfortable the women are who experience it
Load More Replies...for the men who feel attacked or sad in the comments, I feel attacked and sad when I, a thirteen-year-old girl, get catcalled for wearing leggings or dress coded for "distracting the boys from their education by wearing a tank top in 100-degree weather". This society is so inherently sexist and when you say that people speaking out about their experiences is hurting your feelings, perhaps you are the issue.
Heres one of the big ones: If a woman has a lot of sex, she's a sl*t or a wh*re, if a man has a lot of sex he's a "legend" a "proper lad" etc...
And once labelled , a woman is fair game for sexual violence
Load More Replies...Today I was treated to two instances of being talked down to because of my gender and I was mega p*ssed. Where did this happen? In the two hobby shops here in Melbourne CBD, Victoria Australia.How did this happen? Because I dared to go in and ask got something I needed but apparently these men knew more about what I needed than I did, even after I already told them both I knew exactly what I was after and what it was for. They’re both lucky I was able to keep my temper and not give them both a fkn black eye. Female staff member just looked the other way and my bf just stood there and did nothing :( I’m sick of being treated like an idiot just because I’m female 😡
I have a pretty masculine hobby, I ride motorbikes. We are ALL so over being chopsed at by men who often know less about the engine than we do. I know fuckall about engines, and even I can tell some things are wrong. I told a recovery control that my bike tyre couldn't be repaired at the roadside. He said, oh I'm sure it can, just sit tight and the truck will be along soon". Truck arrives, and lo! My bike tyre is unrepairable roadside... whats that, you'll have to despatch another truck to remove the bike to the shop? The drivers were fine, but equally pissed off.
Load More Replies...A lot of dìcks are about to be in a twist over this one.
Dudes in comments be like: "Oh I felt super uncomfortable reading this article. Why are you posting stuff like this ?Boo #notallmen". Bro, if you felt uncomfortable reading about this s**t in an article think about how it feels for the women that have to experience this kind of crap themselves, in real life, all the goddammed time. Hint: it's quite a bit worse than uncomfortable. Bonus: implying that the reason why you are an unempathetic, whiny, sexist amoeba is because all the "woke" people are so aggressive and rude to you about this topic is pretty f*****g pathetic
The men who are heroes are the ones who have leaped up when they see or hear a waitress respond to a guy who just groped her, and take that pos out of his chair and grab him between his legs. Only then does a guy truly understand how it is for a woman to be groped by a man?
Load More Replies...The level of anger this article has generated saddens me. We still have so far to go. Acknowledging there's a problem is the first step in resolving it. It does not mean anyone here has been personally accused. As for the 'what-about'-ers, it's not a competition.
I just went through the list and 88% of the posts were about a specific guy "this guy said this to me", or about a specific type of guy "men who say ___ are jerks". Yet people are crying in the comments here "Why are they blaming all men? I didn't do anything? You are so mean!!". They DIDN'T blame all men. You clearly need to work on your reading comprehension skills.
hello i am from the future. (This is still an issue in 2022)
Load More Replies...I feel sad for women who put up with this crap. Even more so, for the ones who married assholes and assumed they would change over time...
It’s articles like these that remind me that learning more about women’s issues is a continuous process because these are continuous problems. Thank you everyone for sharing, it’s helpful to see discussion.
The amount of angry comments speak for themselves. I don’t remember the women of bored panda being this pressed when there was a post addressing how toxic masculinity harms men.
One thing that pisses me off most about `pro-life` is that they really think that a some growing cells have more rights and need more protection then a whole living human being. And as soon as a baby is born when someone couldn't get an abortion those same people are nowhere to be found
Maybe you don't understand that, so I will make it clear for you : murder is wrong.
Load More Replies...I was a competitive figure skater during high school, and my gym teacher refused to let me do any of the 'strong' exercises (ie using any weights over 5IBS) because I was a girl. My best friend at the time would always trade w/ me after the teacher forced me to only use the light ones b/c he wasn't able to use the 15IBS, but I could (in situps and the like). Also going to college and being told that women should stay at home to fix the house up nice and have dinner ready when the man walks into the door, and shouldn't be in classes learning how to fix cars. The high school also refused to let the girls wear jeans and tshirts, only long dresses, polos and either skirts or dress pants. The boys usually wore tshirts and jeans.
#1: me, 7 years old: Mom? When I sit on pop-pop's lap, he touches me down there. Mom: Then don't sit on his lap! me: to my 7 year old self; if it happens again, it's my fault. It did. Many, many times. Until I was 15. Sadly, he was widowed and lived with us, his only daughter's family cause he couldn't live with his sons as they would clash like roosters.
It’s insane that, that sick lowlife of a so-called, ‘grandfather’ did that to you— it’s also insane that your mother and any other person didn’t call the police on him to throw him in prison.
Load More Replies...I was listening Willow Smith "21st Century Girl" while reading this and it saddened me and the word on her shirt said "Boys need to learn" or something. True they do *I am 2 lazy 2 go back nd check *
Articles like this make me sick.. I had to stop reading. It's always an endless circle of arguments... Screen devices have made it so much easier for people to say offensive things to one another. Disgusting..
I feel a lot of these things are only in America, but can any women tell me if I'm right?
No this is everywhere. I'm in nz and there is a super toxic culture for women and for men
Load More Replies...This scratches my nerves very uncomfortably. I am male. I might have done some of these things. Don't get me wrong, I am in control of my libido as much as I am in control of my aggressions or possessive impulses - I don't steal, I don't hit, I don't molest, let alone rape. But I do have impulses. I do have the impulse to take what isn't mine, to assault who did me wrong, to... again take what is not mine. I think we all have, but I hope from sentient beings that we can and will control them. But this sad experiences of so many girls and women tell different stories. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to react. Ignoring what I have been taught as gallantery - open doors, taking the heavy lifting, treating ladies like fragile, delicate beings - strikes me as rude behaviour, but doing so is subliminal sexist. Offering company or having an eye over the drinks of girls or butting in in a quarrel, I just end up looking like the next offender waiting in line...
Reading this again, it sounds like the "it's not me" whine you're so rightfully sick off. Sorry. What can I, as an individual male, do - other than not being that guy and making sure my sons won't be, either? Of course I should step in where I see missing consent. But: a) I once got mobbed by a bunch of sickos because "their girl" was polite to me and I was polite to her. We're talking about holding the door and thanks... So please don't assume that every man in your vicinity has the balls to jump in like superman but just doesn't care. Those of us who do care don't have the balls to jump in, because we are the ones that get mauled by those sexist macho sickos, too. b) more than once I got berated by the girl since obviously I disturbed their crude mating ritual where she wants to be stalked after her first 3 "No!"s. She wants no softy gay limp noodle but a real man who can take her like he pleases... like what the hell, girl?! Ill try to be a better person, to help where Im welcome.
Load More Replies...My parents tell me to wear pants when my dad's friend cones over, I was wearing a hoodie and jeans, he stared me up and down like a piece of meat, his wife was right there, my mom stepped in for me but my dad didn't do anything. Please teach your boys respect so they don't grow up to put other girls in my situation, which is nothing compared to what others go through
The U.S. is really heading in the wrong direction. How is it possible in this day and age to ban abortions? I'm glad I live in Norway, it seems there are a lot more issues between genders than where I live.
I know im going to get downvoted to hell for this but some the post is toxic and rude. Abuse does apply to everyone. I know abuse can occur but it does happen to everyone.
Still wondering why BP insists on posting articles that do nothing but incite people to name call, half the comments are hidden because they're rude, obnoxious and mean, lots of the usual America Bashing, lots of down votes for anyone who politely and intelligently doesn't post with the accepted mindset of the other BP members, lots of misinformation and the usual division into "you" them" Republicans" Americans" you're ignorant" garbage as "comments". Of all the laughing and crying I've done on this site today, it all slams to a halt and I leave because I just don't see a reason to choose and feature articles that are just going to upset people and bring out the trolls or hit a nerve. There's so much out there so why fish around on Reddit and Twitter and IG and FB for the most dividing stories out there? This site is so much fun when it's interesting and based on the smart, friendly, educating commonalities of us all. Why throw a bomb in all the time and blow things up, BP?
Found this poem on Reddit that I think applies here. Credit to u/Poetry_duderino for it. "Why is it that when she says it, it's all right? Why is it that when I mention it, it ends in a fight? Why are women allowed to do more than men? They say that women are oppressed, and I agree. But in a way, no man is free. We don't mean to be rude, but whatever we do. We say something wrong, and everyone gets mad at you. One wrong word, one wrong leap. You take the jump and it ends in a heap. A bunch of trash, you're put by. It can hurt someone so much, they want to die." All the stuff that people say about us dudes hurts, too. Keep that in mind before posting things like this.
That post is not about diminishing the struggles of men under patriarchy. It is entirely about pointing out the bullshit women endure. Try to walk in women's shoes for a minute, it won't harm you. Some empathy maybe.
Load More Replies...We need to stop making women responsible for unwanted pregnancies. The truth of the matter is that men are responsible, 100%! Outraged? Think that's a ridiculous comment? Consider this then , men have control over where and when they ejaculated. Women have no control over when they ovulate unless they are on the pill. No sperm no pregnant.
Really, the problem isn't men. The problem is that all birth control methods available on the market have some kind of disadvantage and the whole burden is usually placed on women (IUDs, pills, etc.) because we're lacking birth control methods for men! They have no real alternatives between condoms and a vasectomy.
Load More Replies...No one claimed all men were guilty, that's dismissive and a copout. Also there was no man bashing in the article. Might want to examine why your response was so defensive.
Load More Replies...There are tons of instances on BP where they list the accomplishments of men! You just turn a blind eye on those, don't you?
Load More Replies...Ryan Deschanel - shut up with your utter crap about abortions.
Load More Replies...When you share a thought that people believe is wrong, they will tell you that it is wrong. That's how free speech works... or did you think that only you are allowed to share your thoughts?
Load More Replies...Are you for real? That thing that just flew past your head is the point of this article.
Load More Replies...Nah it’s just that you don’t care about issues minorities experience. You can only see yourself, so, naturally you’ll always be a victim.
Load More Replies...Oh jeez. It's not meant to paint all men as bad. It's highlighting the toxicity built into our culture, and how it impacts us women who experience it. And it's guaranteed that whenever women raise these issues, it's rebutted with 'not all men'. It's diverting from the whole point of the article. Think about how uncomfortable the women are who experience it
Load More Replies...