Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Woman Sparks Viral Debate With List Of Things She Won’t Do For Her Husband
534

Woman Sparks Viral Debate With List Of Things She Won’t Do For Her Husband

ADVERTISEMENT

A woman has sparked a debate about married life and the division of household chores after sharing a list of things she refuses to do for her husband.     Paige Turner, a working mom-of-four who creates content focused on parenting and relationships, took to TikTok to state, loud and clear, that she’s not interested in playing the role of her husband’s mother.

Highlights
  • Paige Turner shared a list of tasks she refuses to do for her husband, sparking a debate about marital expectations.
  • Paige emphasizes domestic tasks are not acts of kindness but chores.
  • She expresses love through thoughtful gestures, like buying gifts, instead of traditional domestic chores.

As Paige explained, household tasks don’t equate to acts of kindness. 

“Small acts of kindness that are mostly domestic labor just add up to work at the end of the day,” she said.

First of all, Paige doesn’t do her husband’s laundry.

RELATED:

    Image credits: sheisapaigeturner

    “He can do that himself. I do my laundry, and we do the kids’ laundry. But he does his own.”

    She also doesn’t cook dinner for her partner.

    “He cooks dinner every single night. I do breakfast and lunch for us and our kids. I don’t pack him lunch: if he’s hungry, he’ll figure out what he’s gonna eat the same way that I do.”

    Furthermore, she doesn’t call the doctor or dentist to book him an appointment.

    “I don’t make his doctor’s appointments because guess what? He’s not making mine. Would it be kind for me to do that? For sure. Is it my job? Absolutely not.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    “I want him to be healthy, but he’s a grown a** man and can book his own appointments.”

    The woman, Paige Turner, said she doesn’t do her husband’s laundry

    Image credits: Photo Season/stock.adobe.com

    The content creator doesn’t pack her husband’s clothes for vacation, schedule his haircuts, or replace his underwear when it’s got holes in it, either.

    Paige went on to clarify that she shows her love to her husband in ways other than domestic tasks.

    “If I see a vinyl that I think he’s gonna like, I buy it. I’m at the store and I see something that I think he might enjoy eating, I buy it. I find a non-alcoholic beer that he wants to try out, I buy it.

    “Those are small acts of kindness. Doing his laundry, cooking him dinner, making him lunch, booking his doctor’s appointments, that’s domestic labor. Those are chores, not acts of kindness.”

    “He can do that himself. I do my laundry, and we do the kids’ laundry. But he does his own”

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: sheisapaigeturner

    While Paige may occasionally make an exception when her husband is exhausted after a really long day at work, she’s not planning on being his “personal secretary or assistant.”

    “If it goes both ways, fantastic. But oftentimes, domestic labor, especially when you have children, adds up.

    “I am his partner. I am his equal, and I do not have to do things to cater to him and serve him at all times to be kind and loving.”

    Paige also doesn’t cook dinner for her partner, book his appointments, pack his clothes for a vacation, or replace his old underwear

    Image credits: Katecat/stock.adobe.com

    In the comments, many people supported the working mom, emphasizing that they also refuse to take on an unfair share of housework.

    “The fact that people are shocked by this SENDS ME. I cannot fathom making his appointments or lunches. Laundry we trade off on who does it and it’s pretty even,” one person penned.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    “Finally someone gets me. They always make me feel less of a ‘good wife’ for doing this,” another woman wrote.

    “Preach. Parentifying your spouse is such a turn off,” a third individual commented.

    “Those are chores, not acts of kindness. I am his equal, and I do not have to do things to cater to him and serve him at all times to be kind and loving,” she said

    Image credits: sheisapaigeturner

    Another person shared their perspective on what truly defines a “small act of kindness,” an opinion that resonated with many.

    “Small acts of kindness are only small when they don’t usually fall on you and it’s reciprocated.”

    “Some wives pack for their husbands or schedule their haircuts?????? That’s actually insane,” a separate TikTok user chimed in.

    The mom-of-four said she expresses her love by surprising her husband with gifts, like buying a vinyl record for his collection

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: sheisapaigeturner

    Watch Paige’s video below:

    @sheisapaigeturner Replying to @rafael it’s important to show your partner, love and kindness. And I believe in small acts of kindness for a partners. However, expecting your partner to do your laundry and all of the cooking and all of the cleaning, is not the same qe small acts of kindness. All of those things are domestic labor and then when add it up, create a lot of work. #domesticlabor #actsofkindness #actsofservice #marriagegoals #fairplay #millennialmom #mentalload #laundry ♬ original sound – Paige



    But there was also a smaller group who disagreed with Paige’s stance.

    “I’m a stay at home wife. I do all those things plus more and I’m very happy. If I get overwhelmed, he always steps up and helps me though. Every marriage is different,” wrote one woman. 

    “I take pride in doing all of those things for my husband. In fact, I’ll do it for my grown children too!” said another.

    “Running a relationship like a business. Got it,” a separate user commented, to which someone responded, “Sounds like they have found a healthy balance with no resentment.”

    Then, user @Tash0424 asked Paige a pressing question about her husband: “Does he have a single brother who also understands this?”

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Ic_polls

    Poll Question

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Share on Facebook
    Marina Urman

    Marina Urman

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Marina is a journalist at Bored Panda. Born in Buenos Aires, Argentina, she holds a Bachelor of Social Science. In her spare time, you can find her baking, reading, or watching a docuseries. Her main areas of interest are pop culture, literature, and education.

    Read less »
    Marina Urman

    Marina Urman

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Marina is a journalist at Bored Panda. Born in Buenos Aires, Argentina, she holds a Bachelor of Social Science. In her spare time, you can find her baking, reading, or watching a docuseries. Her main areas of interest are pop culture, literature, and education.

    Karina Babenok

    Karina Babenok

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    As a visual editor in the News team, I look for the most interesting pictures and comments to make each post interesting and informative through images, so that you aren't reading only blocks of text. I joined Bored Panda not that long ago, but in this short amount of time I have covered a wide range of topics: from true crime to Taylor Swift memes (my search history is very questionable because of that).In my freetime, I enjoy spending time at the gym, gaming, binging Great British Bake Off and adding yet another tattoo artist that I would love to get a tattoo from to my pinterest board.

    Read less »

    Karina Babenok

    Karina Babenok

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    As a visual editor in the News team, I look for the most interesting pictures and comments to make each post interesting and informative through images, so that you aren't reading only blocks of text. I joined Bored Panda not that long ago, but in this short amount of time I have covered a wide range of topics: from true crime to Taylor Swift memes (my search history is very questionable because of that).In my freetime, I enjoy spending time at the gym, gaming, binging Great British Bake Off and adding yet another tattoo artist that I would love to get a tattoo from to my pinterest board.

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    Secret Squirrel
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is this really controversial? I am in a hetero relationship and we each take care of all our personal things ourselves and split the communal ones (car, house, animals). We don't have such a rigid split over cooking but if it's something that scales up, make extra, if not, we don't. But do people really want or expect a partner to keep track of appointments, hair cuts and laundry? I would hate being on either side of that deal.

    Certainly not Dan
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All seems fair enough to me, but Paige Turner?! Is that really her name?

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It just wouldn't occur to me to have my partner wash my clothes or make my lunch, and he helps sometimes booking appointments but I wouldn't give a standing order to be in charge of haircuts.

    Load More Comments
    Secret Squirrel
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is this really controversial? I am in a hetero relationship and we each take care of all our personal things ourselves and split the communal ones (car, house, animals). We don't have such a rigid split over cooking but if it's something that scales up, make extra, if not, we don't. But do people really want or expect a partner to keep track of appointments, hair cuts and laundry? I would hate being on either side of that deal.

    Certainly not Dan
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All seems fair enough to me, but Paige Turner?! Is that really her name?

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It just wouldn't occur to me to have my partner wash my clothes or make my lunch, and he helps sometimes booking appointments but I wouldn't give a standing order to be in charge of haircuts.

    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Related on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda