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Woman Asks If She Was Right To Cancel Dinner With Her Long Distance Boyfriend When She Saw Him Bring A Bell To The Restaurant
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Woman Asks If She Was Right To Cancel Dinner With Her Long Distance Boyfriend When She Saw Him Bring A Bell To The Restaurant

Woman Asks If She Was Right To Cancel Dinner With Her Long Distance Boyfriend When She Saw Him Bring A Bell To The RestaurantWoman Embarrassed By Boyfriend Bringing An Actual Bell To A Restaurant Cancels Their Dinner, Now He's Mad At HerAmerican Brings An Actual Bell To The Restaurant To Call Servers, Embarrassed Girlfriend Cancels DinnerWoman Asks If She Overreacted By Canceling Dinner After Her American Boyfriend Brought His Own Bell To The Restaurant To Call ServersBoyfriend Brought A Bell To Dinner To Get The Staff's Attention, Girlfriend Leaves EmbarrassedRude American Thinks Calling Waiters With A Bell At The Restaurant Is A Guy Accuses Girlfriend Of Ruining Dinner After She Cancels It Because He Brought An Actual Bell To Call Servers And Said It's Normal In AmericaBoyfriend Rings A Bell At Dinner, Says Guy Doesn’t Understand Why His GF Left Him At A Restaurant After He Took Out An Actual Bell To Get The Staff’s AttentionGirlfriend Shocked After Her Boyfriend Started To Ring A Bell At Dinner To
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After months of dating, you think you know a person. Or at the very least, know they won’t make you want to hide from embarrassment. But as Reddit user Blain-Ad-5996 will soon tell you, that’s not always the case.

A few days ago, she submitted a story to the “Am I The [Jerk]?” community about one dinner date she had with her boyfriend. Everything was going fine until the man took out an actual bell to get the waiter’s attention.

I don’t know what had gotten into his head and convinced him this was acceptable but the dude even defended himself, telling his confused girlfriend it was normal behavior in the US.

In an attempt to find out if that’s true, she turned to the popular subreddit to tell all about it and ask if she overreacted. Here’s what the woman wrote.

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    One woman went to a restaurant with her boyfriend but the date ended quickly after he rang an actual bell to get the waiter’s attention

    Image credits: Marco Verch (not the actual photo)

    The guy even accused her of making a needless scene out of it, so she turned to the internet to ask if that’s actually the case

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    Dating someone from another culture can often require partners to work more in the beginning stages of the relationship. Usually, you need to put in more effort to understand a person from another background. And not just linguistically; you really need to see the world through their eyes if you want to make it work. So the fact that Blain-Ad-5996 asked other people to share their take on what happened between her and her boyfriend is only—she’s searching for answers.

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    But a couple can embarrass each other even if they grew up on the same block. According to Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D., who is an associate professor of psychology and chair of the psychology department at Albright College, this sometimes happens because we have a tendency to believe that others are paying more attention to our actions than they really are. “In one famous study, researchers asked college students to enter a room full of strangers while wearing a Barry Manilow T-shirt (pretty uncool attire for a college student). They then asked them to estimate the number of people in the room who had noticed the shirt. The students overestimated how many people had noticed the shirt, guessing on average a number twice as high as the reality,” Seidman wrote in Psychology Today.

    But people were dumbstruck by the whole ordeal as much as she was

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    She believes this spotlight effect extends to our significant others because our most important relationships tend to become incorporated into the self, as ‘them’ and ‘me’ become ‘we.’

    “We begin to see our relationship partners as part of us. And so, for better or worse, what affects our partners affects us, too. Research shows that we can use our partners’ accomplishments and positive traits as a way to boost our own self-esteem. It makes sense that since we experience our partners’ gaffes as reflecting on us, we would also feel that we are in the spotlight when those embarrassing moments happen,” Seidman explained.

    The psychologist also suggested that some people are more prone to this spotlight effect than others. Like those high in public self-consciousness, for example. Or those with low self-esteem. “They tend to distance themselves from a romantic partner they perceive as flawed in situations in which it seems the flaw would reflect negatively on them.”

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    But there’s a silver lining in all of this after all. Think about it, if we overestimate how much others are paying attention to us, it’s also very likely that we’re also overestimating how much our partners are making us the center of ridicule. So with that in mind, Seidman invites everyone to let their embarrassing partner loose. Unless they call waiters with a bell, of course.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    Austėja Akavickaitė

    Austėja Akavickaitė

    Author, Community member

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    Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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    Austėja Akavickaitė

    Austėja Akavickaitė

    Author, Community member

    Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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    Mad Dragon
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a server I had a guy snap his fingers to get my attention. The lady he was with told him the date was over and walked out.

    Joanne Lawrence
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. Meanwhile I'm over here and I hate asking servers for things because they're always busy and I'm, frankly, not that important. Like, it has to be like they forgot to give me utensils or something before I feel like it's worth trying to get their attention. Just... wow.

    Load More Replies...
    Allison B
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah no. It's not ok in America either. Not ok anywhere. I hate how people like that give all Americans a bad name.

    Ethan Lang
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly! It’s always the.. you reading this? Ugh.. *ring ding ring ding* you seeing this? Ah ok, anyways it’s always the very few entitled jerks that go around doing these types of things, and only those get spread around these subreddits so it looks like a common thing Americans do.

    Load More Replies...
    Samuel Pelatan
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I 100% juge people on how they treat staffs. If you are respectful to people depending on their work, you are not respectful at all.

    Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly! Same thing if you only treat women or men with respect if you find them attractive.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Mad Dragon
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a server I had a guy snap his fingers to get my attention. The lady he was with told him the date was over and walked out.

    Joanne Lawrence
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. Meanwhile I'm over here and I hate asking servers for things because they're always busy and I'm, frankly, not that important. Like, it has to be like they forgot to give me utensils or something before I feel like it's worth trying to get their attention. Just... wow.

    Load More Replies...
    Allison B
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah no. It's not ok in America either. Not ok anywhere. I hate how people like that give all Americans a bad name.

    Ethan Lang
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly! It’s always the.. you reading this? Ugh.. *ring ding ring ding* you seeing this? Ah ok, anyways it’s always the very few entitled jerks that go around doing these types of things, and only those get spread around these subreddits so it looks like a common thing Americans do.

    Load More Replies...
    Samuel Pelatan
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I 100% juge people on how they treat staffs. If you are respectful to people depending on their work, you are not respectful at all.

    Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly! Same thing if you only treat women or men with respect if you find them attractive.

    Load More Replies...
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