Woman Doesn’t Worry About Her Allergy, Goes To ER, Husband Realizes He Can’t Take It Anymore
While some people have the luxury of going through life allergy-free, others suffer a little more in this area, from the famous milk and peanut allergies to rarer ones like dried fruit or avocado allergies – and these are only the food-related ones.
The OP’s wife is one of those who has a pretty rare allergy – she can’t eat onions. Yet, the main problem with this allergy isn’t that she can’t eat them, it’s that she still eats them, despite them causing her to go into anaphylactic shock. So, after several ER trips, the husband started getting tired of his wife’s self-neglect.
More info: Reddit
Some people can eat basically everything, while others are restricted by certain allergies
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author’s wife has a severe allergy to green and red onions, which restricts her from eating foods containing them
So, her husband always reads the labels to make sure the food they buy doesn’t contain them, but the woman herself doesn’t do that
Image credits: teksomolika / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One day she started eating crab salad with onion, hoping it would be “the good kind” of onion for her
Image credits: DC Studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
It wasn’t and pretty soon her husband had to use an EpiPen on her and rush her to the emergency room
Image credits: Perfect_Track_3647
After the emergency room, the man drove the woman to her mom’s place, as he needed space from his self-neglecting wife
The OP’s wife is intensely allergic to green and red onions, but not to yellow and white ones. Apparently, this onion allergy is quite a rare one. More commonly, people experience food intolerance symptoms when eating this vegetable. Besides the technical differences that differentiate an allergy and food intolerance, the latter can’t cause anaphylaxis.
Since the original poster’s wife does get these severe allergic reactions, it means that she actually is allergic. Due to this, she can’t eat certain foods that might contain her allergens. So, her husband always reads the labels to make sure there aren’t any red or green onions in the food they purchase. Interestingly, the woman herself doesn’t do this.
One night, the man came back from work and noticed his wife eating something from an unfamiliar container. Then, from the smell, he understood it was a crab salad.
Even though in many crab salad recipes, like this one, onion is listed as optional, seeing that it gets mentioned quite often, we can assume it’s a common ingredient.
The husband checked the label and noticed that onion was on the top of the ingredient list. He asked the wife about it and she revealed that she had read the label, but hoped it would be “the good kind” of onion and ate the salad.
Pretty soon she started having a reaction, but still refused to get an EpiPen shot. Some people feel uneasy around these pens since they are typically used in scary moments and are needles, which many are afraid of. This fear can lead them to avoid getting certain medical procedures, like vaccines, blood draws, and EpiPens.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
But the usage of it was inescapable for the author’s wife. Despite refusing it at first, it had to be used later on, before her spouse drove her to the emergency room. There she stayed overnight. Then, the OP came to get her and took the woman to her mom’s place.
Apparently, he needed space. The wife’s refusal to accept her allergy’s seriousness was getting to him. He felt like he was the only one worrying about it, while she didn’t really care if some onion would unalive her. Since situations like this had happened more than once, it’s understandable why it was so tiresome to him.
He hoped that their staying apart would bring her some perspective about it, especially since her mom agreed with him. In his eyes, it was some form of an intervention.
When some time had passed after he completed his plan, the man started wondering whether he was too harsh to basically kick her out for a few days.
Redditors were understanding of his reaction – it’s hard to take care of someone who neglects themselves. In fact, someone even brought up the fact that the OP should consider discussing mental health with his wife since poor self-care can be a sign of certain mental issues like depression.
The man answered that this conversation was in the plans for him, so we can only hope that this plan was realized. Maybe her struggles are deeper than it seems at first glance. After all, mental illnesses tend to be sneaky and unpredictable.
What would you have done in the original poster’s position? Share with us in the comments!
He asked online whether that was too harsh of a reaction and was told that it wasn’t
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Thanks! Check out the results:
The situation isn't there yet, but it is ok and often necessary to leave a relationship because the other person won't take care of themselves. Reckless behaviour is incredibly stressful on the other party and speaks to deeper issues. If she was involved in extreme sports and not taking safety seriously, or used party d***s and had a few ODs but wouldn't be smarter about it, the decision would feel more clear, but it's the same. Just because onions aren't usually dangerous, doesn't mean the reckless behaviour isn't an issue.
I left a relationship for this exact reason, only he had diabetes. Would NOT look after himself at all and after 8 years of doing f**k all about it, I decided I didn't want to spend the rest of my life as his carer
Load More Replies...Considering even her mother agreed that she's not taking it seriously I'm pretty sure OP is fine.
I knew someone like this. They loved the drama they caused because they got attention. Dealing with someone who loves attention by negative means is exhausting. Therapy might help, but only if SHE is willing to change. Call me me cold hearted, but I predict a day he walks away while she suffocates.
There is an update https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1h4kghd/aio_wife_refuses_to_take_her_allergies_seriously/
Thanks for the update! Looks like progress is being made and help sought/provided
Load More Replies...… I’m so confused. The woman needs a serious psychiatric evaluation, that’s so far from normal it’s flabbergasting. My flabbers are well and truly gasted.
I have several life threatening food allergies. I am allergic to white fish, shell fish (didn't start until early 30s. Boo), and unless I've just made a couple of misfortune dinner choices I am possibly becoming allergic to salmon as well. You know where I don't go out to dinner at? Red Lobster! Because I'm not going to risk my life on the possibility of cross contamination just because they also serve chicken and steak. There is no difference between what she is doing and playing Russian roulette. Every single time she does this is an attempt at suicide.
I have allergies and don't like to eat out because of this, even if I don't eat what's the problem, sometimes these items are grilled (or cooked otherwise) and there is the danger of cross-reaction. Luckily it's pretty easy to avoid what I'm allergic to as far as food is concerned - I have other allergies too - but I still always carry an epipen for allergies and emergency inhaler for asthma at all times.
As someone who is allergic to onions- I find the wives behavior very concerning. Me and my family meticulously check labels and haven't had any reactions since the salad bar mishap 5 years ago
She should be going to her PCP for a hospital follow up, if he goes with her he should bring it up or the next time she ends up in the hospital ask for a psych eval while she's there.
Childish. Sit down and talk. Marriage counseling may help too. Did you get married because it's easy? You are there to support your spouse no matter what. Talk it out.
"Not Over-Reacting". EDIT: It's basically the AmIOverreacting sub's version of "NTA".
Load More Replies...Everyone needs to take care of themselves. Go to the doctor on a regular basis so that you have a base line of your health and can rule out illnesses. Try to eat as healthily as possible. Exercise a few times a week. Take care of yourselves for others. It's frustrating, depressing, and maddening watching a loved one kill themselves when they could have had many years left with them. I sadly watched an entire family self-destruct like this.
I think you're getting downvoted for suggesting that he commit attempted murder/actual murder (if the reaction gets bad enough.)
Load More Replies...The situation isn't there yet, but it is ok and often necessary to leave a relationship because the other person won't take care of themselves. Reckless behaviour is incredibly stressful on the other party and speaks to deeper issues. If she was involved in extreme sports and not taking safety seriously, or used party d***s and had a few ODs but wouldn't be smarter about it, the decision would feel more clear, but it's the same. Just because onions aren't usually dangerous, doesn't mean the reckless behaviour isn't an issue.
I left a relationship for this exact reason, only he had diabetes. Would NOT look after himself at all and after 8 years of doing f**k all about it, I decided I didn't want to spend the rest of my life as his carer
Load More Replies...Considering even her mother agreed that she's not taking it seriously I'm pretty sure OP is fine.
I knew someone like this. They loved the drama they caused because they got attention. Dealing with someone who loves attention by negative means is exhausting. Therapy might help, but only if SHE is willing to change. Call me me cold hearted, but I predict a day he walks away while she suffocates.
There is an update https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1h4kghd/aio_wife_refuses_to_take_her_allergies_seriously/
Thanks for the update! Looks like progress is being made and help sought/provided
Load More Replies...… I’m so confused. The woman needs a serious psychiatric evaluation, that’s so far from normal it’s flabbergasting. My flabbers are well and truly gasted.
I have several life threatening food allergies. I am allergic to white fish, shell fish (didn't start until early 30s. Boo), and unless I've just made a couple of misfortune dinner choices I am possibly becoming allergic to salmon as well. You know where I don't go out to dinner at? Red Lobster! Because I'm not going to risk my life on the possibility of cross contamination just because they also serve chicken and steak. There is no difference between what she is doing and playing Russian roulette. Every single time she does this is an attempt at suicide.
I have allergies and don't like to eat out because of this, even if I don't eat what's the problem, sometimes these items are grilled (or cooked otherwise) and there is the danger of cross-reaction. Luckily it's pretty easy to avoid what I'm allergic to as far as food is concerned - I have other allergies too - but I still always carry an epipen for allergies and emergency inhaler for asthma at all times.
As someone who is allergic to onions- I find the wives behavior very concerning. Me and my family meticulously check labels and haven't had any reactions since the salad bar mishap 5 years ago
She should be going to her PCP for a hospital follow up, if he goes with her he should bring it up or the next time she ends up in the hospital ask for a psych eval while she's there.
Childish. Sit down and talk. Marriage counseling may help too. Did you get married because it's easy? You are there to support your spouse no matter what. Talk it out.
"Not Over-Reacting". EDIT: It's basically the AmIOverreacting sub's version of "NTA".
Load More Replies...Everyone needs to take care of themselves. Go to the doctor on a regular basis so that you have a base line of your health and can rule out illnesses. Try to eat as healthily as possible. Exercise a few times a week. Take care of yourselves for others. It's frustrating, depressing, and maddening watching a loved one kill themselves when they could have had many years left with them. I sadly watched an entire family self-destruct like this.
I think you're getting downvoted for suggesting that he commit attempted murder/actual murder (if the reaction gets bad enough.)
Load More Replies...
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