There are a couple of milestones in life that really leave a lasting impression. Depending on how those days go, these memories may be something to look back on and find comfort in or… not so pleasant, to say the least.

As engagements are certainly one of these milestones, we’ll be talking about one, but it’s a rather unfortunate story. When the special day came, a woman got the perfect ring for her significant other, but he didn’t reciprocate at all, sparking a substantial conflict.

More info: Reddit

A marriage proposal is a once-in-a-lifetime occasion, so you’d better put in some sweat to make it perfect and not forget that the ring is a huge part of it

Image credits: Dylan Sauerwein (not the actual photo)

A woman took to the AITA community to be judged on whether she’s a jerk for wanting her engagement ring to be replaced with a cheaper and prettier one

Image credits: u/anonymoussoda21

Image credits: Kaboompics.com (not the actual photo) 

The gal gave him all the requirements and wishes for the ring, even showing him pictures of what she really prefers

Image credits: u/anonymoussoda21

Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo) 

The guy got a pretty polar opposite ring, greatly upsetting the poster, especially when she got him a ring that he really wanted

Image credits: u/anonymoussoda21

When she brought the whole thing up, the guy flipped out and became increasingly upset with her for not liking the ring he picked out with his mom and grandma

If you’ve ever had to pick out a ring for someone, you know the trial by fire that it entails. It’s the final boss of buying gifts for someone.

You have to know what the person likes. That may be eked out from them with some clever and covert questioning or by rooting around in their current ring supply. Sometimes you even get lucky, and your special person will come up to you at the store or with a phone and tell you: “I just love this one!”

Success.

But size is another concern. If you can measure an old ring, you’re lucky. When you’re working from scratch, though, it becomes another covert game. You know that you’re with the right person when you’re trying to figure out their size with a scrap of paper while they sleep.

Don’t forget about metal allergies too!

With that in mind, you can totally level with the poster of this story, who not only got the perfect ring for her husband-to-be, but also gave him everything that he’d need to pick out a ring – size, type of band, even suggesting to use a larger and more affordable gemstone.

So you can totally understand anonymoussoda21’s frustration with her fiancé when he managed to get something pretty much completely opposite to her desires. Instead of a minimalist ring with a large gem, he got a flowery-banded, small gemstone, and far more expensive band. The guy even got the size wrong!

She, being the mature adult that she is, sat with these feelings for a while and asked for a different one – seemingly suggesting it as politely as possible. As politely as you can, in such circumstances, really.

The guy flipped out, and as it turns out, his mom and grandma helped him pick the ring out – not a good play, my guy. Being an oblivious teen and buying a gift for your first girlfriend with your mom makes sense, but an engagement ring is where I draw the line in the sand.

The story peters out at this point, with soda making no more posts or replying to us for an update.

For some expert ring-picking tips, we managed to reach out to Kate Reid of Larsen Jewellery, offering beautiful rings to satisfy every desire

You may be on your hands and knees right now, screaming and pounding the ground with your fist: “but if my mom can’t help me, what am I supposed to do?”

Do not despair, dear reader, for Bored Panda has you covered. I’ve managed to reach out to my namesake – Larsen Jewellery – and was lucky enough to receive a detailed and helpful reply.

Amazing name for a brand, by the by.

We spoke with the esteemed Kate Reid, their Operations Manager, a gold medalist in the jewelry category of Victorian Worldskills Championships with a Diploma in Practical Diamond Grading to boot.

Image credits: Tai’s Captures (not the actual photo) 

For a start, we asked Kate how to best pick a ring for an SO to make sure that it’s the perfect ring for them.

“If the love of your life has never dropped hints or given you instructions, then you may have your work cut out for you. Some folks are up for the challenge of selecting or designing the perfect ring despite being clueless as to their partner’s preferences – but this could be dangerous territory.”

On the flipside, if you’re super confident that you know what the person loves, then you could make the gesture super special and romantic. If you’re still somewhat unsure, then you may want to consider a placeholder ring, one of which you can see on Larsen Jewellery’s page.

“We also have a range of engagement rings that you can buy online which all come with 30 day free returns or exchange – just in case!”

If you’re wondering whether you should go for tailor or ready-made, Kate has some insights.

“The beauty about having something tailor made is that you don’t have to settle. If you find a ring design you love but the diamond is too big, or the band is too wide, or the claws are too pointy, you can change everything. If you were going to wear one piece of clothing for the rest of your life, you would definitely get it tailor made, right?!”

Tailor making also allows you to select your center diamond or colored gemstone, which means that you’re in full control of the price. Too expensive? Go smaller or choose a lab-grown diamond. Too cheap? Go bigger and step up the color and clarity.

“Don’t let suave salespeople talk you into spending any more than you want to, be smart with your budget and decide exactly how you want to spend it.”

We also asked for some tips to make the proposal occasion as special as possible and Kate delivers some great ideas.

She begins by saying that any proposal will be special. “It’s a bookmark in the timeline of life that will always be a treasured memory, even if it was just blurted out at the breakfast table,” she continues.

“My top piece of advice is just make it personal. You can spend thousands of dollars hiring a proposal planner, videographer and even have your proposal written in the sky but that could be way over-the-top for your special person. For some couples an elaborate, cliché proposal is the perfect choice, for others it is way too cringey. I would suggest thinking of the thing that makes you happiest together and incorporate that in your proposal.”

If fine dining is a passion you share – go to a fancy restaurant to propose. Mountain climbing – find a spot with a spectacular view and pop the question right there. If you’re getting the help from a new puppy, check out this cute, pooch-assisted proposal from Larsen.

If you’ve still got doubts about your ring-choosing skills, check out Larsen Jewellery’s expansive Engagement Ring Guide. If you’d like to browse Larsen’s selection, you can do it here.

Back to Soda’s story. She got nearly 1k upvotes in the AITA community and was judged not to be a jerk at all. Out of the 280 comments, only four people judged her to be one.

Share your own engagement stories in the comments! If you’ve got a beautiful story and a ring to show for it, please do it down there as well.

The community judged the woman not to be a jerk, saying that the guy really should have tried harder and that the whole thing is a red flag

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