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“I Took My Leg Off”: Woman Asks If She Was Wrong To Dramatically Respond To This Man Who Yelled At Her For Parking In A Handicapped Spot
![“Am I The [Jerk] For Taking Off My Leg And Making Someone Look Dumb And Feel Uncomfortable?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/woman-takes-off-prosthetic-leg-proves-point-handicapped-parking-space-fb36-png__700.jpg)
When you receive a handicap permit, you’re the only one who is legally allowed to use it. You can use it as either the driver or passenger of a vehicle, but you must be present when the placard is displayed. However, quarrels over handicapped parking spaces happen way too often with people wanting to park closer to the entrance.
A 21-year-old Redditor who lost a leg and a couple of fingers due to a very bad car accident has recently experienced a confrontation like this. One day, she went out to the store with her family. “I have trouble walking without getting tired so it really helps to park close to the door. Today I did so and unknowingly took the space from someone who was circling back around for it,” she wrote on the AITA subreddit, referring to a handicap parking space.
“Apparently the man had been looking for a close space and had missed the one I took and went down and around,” the Redditor wrote. The man confronted her, told her she had no respect and ordered her to move. This is when the quarrel reached the boiling point, and the author was ready to prove her point straight in his face.
RELATED:
Recently, a 21 Y.O. woman asked if she went too far by taking off her leg and showing it to the man who confronted her for taking a handicap parking space
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Superb-Watercress-28
Image credits: Superb-Watercress-28
A disabled parking permit can make driving, especially in urban settings, much less stressful for disabled drivers. A disabled parking permit gives them access to reserved and accessible parking, and in several states, you may have lighter regulations surrounding metered parking as well.
Qualifying conditions to obtain a disabled parking permit vary from state to state. According to Disabled Parking, some of the qualifying conditions for a disabled parking permit in 2022 include, but are not limited to: the person cannot walk 200 feet without rest; the person is severely limited to walk because of an arthritic, neurological, or orthopedic condition; the person uses portable oxygen; the person is unable to walk without the assistance of a brace, cane, assistive device, or another person; the person is registered as a 100% disabled veteran, etc.
Moreover, there exist many “invisible illnesses” that may also qualify for a disabled parking permit. One should make sure to confirm which conditions qualify in your own state.
Handicap spaces are usually wider than a regular space. A handicap space must be at least 96 inches wide and have an adjacent access aisle. There are van-accessible and non-van-accessible disabled spaces, the difference between the two being the width of the access aisle.
And this is how people reacted to this whole incident
More people with disabilities shared similar experiences
What do you think ?
Mouse 2 years ago
People just need to mind their business. This happens all the time with all kinds of disabilities. I've had a woman whisper to me that I shouldn't be out in public looking like that, she shouldn't be grocery shopping and have to look at what I'm dealing with. Turned her stomach she said. So I loudly repeated what she had said back to her, just to clarify 💀 and she scooted off pretty quickly, coward. I've had People try to photograph and video me even. I get that people don't see someone who looks like me very often but if they'd think about it from my point of view for a minute, they'd put their phone away and say hi. I'm pretty open and will answer questions if someone asks, children are often curious and say sweet/funny things, but most adults just stare or have something nasty to say. Definitely have a thick skin at this point😁 I think what she did with her leg was warranted and hilarious, good for her.
Sam 2 years ago
My dad had partial face paralysis due to a brain tumor operation and when people wold make comments he would roll his eye back in his head a drool. It was hilarious and shut them up quick.
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Beth L 2 years ago
"because there was a crowd" is exactly when to confront a jerk. Educate them all at once!
tuzdayschild 2 years ago
Disgusting? You body is your body and it doesn't have to meet anyone else's approval.
Ponyo (they/them) 2 years ago
I've seen a few of your comments and I just wanted to say that you are a literal queen. thank you for taking time out of your day to educate others. You are amazing.
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Carol Emory 2 years ago
I have a fractured vertebrae in my lower back that never healed right. It makes it painful to walk sometimes. But you can't see it. Some old lady who also had handicapped placard was upset I parked in a handicapped spot. She mumbled "Being fat is not a disability." I replied "Neither is stupidity, yet here you are." She was pissed!
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
It's a prosthetic leg. If people can cope with dentures, which are removable *teeth*? So the person has a prosthesis of whatever. They are fitted, but can still be uncomfy, and if someone can scratch their groin while playing baseball, I think we can all accept a prosthesis being taken off for a while. (I find public groin-scratching far nastier, if you hadn't guessed.)
Ally MacMann 2 years ago
Definitely NTA! Going on a tirade against someone based on an assumption is terrible. Calling the other person rude when being called out on being wrong is a disgrace. He should have been ashamed and made a grovelling apology.
Suzi Q 2 years ago
NTA As a disabled person whose disabilities are not clearly visible, I get so sick of people challenging my placard usage. I used to get that a lot more when I first needed my placard at age 29. Your group should have stuck up for you rather than being embarrassed. The driver was clearly in the wrong, HE should've been embarrassed.
Ozacoter 2 years ago
Yeah f**k, invisible illneses and disabilities are a huge problem and most people doesnt even recognize them. I have "good days" were i can do "a lot" but i have bad days where getting to the kitchen to have breakfast is too much. Unless i am horribly bad people doesnt seem to notice the difference. I hate when people say things like "but you are not disabled" or when the assholes of the government refuse to give me a disability parking card despite being recognised as disabled because I am not an amputee (one of the very few that get them here).
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Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Something not mentioned here is whether the a*****e who yelled at the OP had a handicapped permit himself, or was just a lazy able-bodied a*****e who wanted to park in a handicapped space.where he didn’t belong. Because he certainly seemed to be able-bodied, if he could jump out of his car and right down the throat of a young amputee like he did.
Memere 2 years ago (edited)
From the way it was written, I figured the a$$hole didn't have a handicapped permit. But I checked the actual reddit post, & he did have a passenger who was disabled. However the parking spot she took wasn't the last one, there were several other open spots. She just got to the closest one first. Here's the link if you want to read it: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t65zud/aita_for_taking_off_my_leg_and_making_someone/
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 2 years ago
You can't judge a book by its cover. That's why all disabled people have stickers or some sign on their car to show that they have the right to use a disabled spot. You have every right to call the police if you see someone using a disabled parking spot without the appropriate documents, you don't have any right to harass people just because the person doesn't look disabled enough to use a disabled parking spot. You are not para-abnormal gifted enough to see if someone is or isn't disabled.
Memere 2 years ago (edited)
At my last job before retiring, there was a gal who drove her mother's car to work every day, & used her mother's disabled placard to park in the handicapped spaces in the building garage. She did this for a couple of months - until 'someone' mentioned it to the security guard, who was former law enforcement, so he knew the law. He then reported it to the personnel manager. She quit parking in the handicapped spots, but actually had the nerve to complain to a couple of people! Her excuse was that it was her mom's car & she had to used the placard to drive her mom to the doctor. Sorry, lady, you can't use the placard when mom isn't IN the car!
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Emiloy 2 years ago (edited)
I wish the general public would stop monitoring accessible spots - it rarely helps disabled people and most often results in us being harassed. If you are someone who wants to help disabled people, here’s what you can do instead of scrutinizing people while they park: 1) if someone you know personally is using a spot without a permit or using someone else’s permit illegally speak to them about it, but leave strangers alone. 2) don’t leave shopping carts in the painted areas beside these parking spots - they’re critical for us to transfer in and out of our vehicles. 3) never park in front of or block curb cuts or ramps, even for “just a minute”. All these things are far more helpful to us than random folks monitoring the spots to make sure we’re “disabled enough” to use them. Please just let us go about our business, thank you :) [edited for typo and clarity]
Emiloy 2 years ago
I am a middle aged wheelchair user and used to be able to go places independently. Almost every time I parked I was watched, and often confronted until I got my mobility aid out. People would shake their heads at me, point to the signs, wag their finger, tell me off etc until they saw my aid, and then usually just shrug and walk away. I hated it, and felt stressed every time I parked. I also know a number of other disabled folks who won’t use these spaces even though they need them, and either avoid going places or won’t go independently because of it. So if you think you’re helping disabled people by monitoring these spaces, please understand you’re probably just making things harder for us instead and there are other ways you can help
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Rens 2 years ago
I also have invisible disabilities; I use a stick when I'm in a place where I can't use my mobility scooter. My scooter is one of the big heavy ones that goes between 4 and 8 miles/hour. Unfortunately, due to a combination of my medications and my inability to exercise, I have put on a fair bit of weight and the number of times I've heard comments about my "obesity scooter" is more than I can count. I don't owe anyone any explanations, and I ignore it. When I do walk, short distances only, I waddle because of the pain and stiffness in my hips and pelvis. A group of kids were mocking me outside the shop when I was walking me, calling me "Mrs Waddle" and I turned around and said "That's right" and smiled. That shut them up. Last time I had someone comment on how I didn't look disabled, I said they didn't look stupid, but looks are deceiving...
ChimeraBubbles 2 years ago
Love your responses! I once had some youths mimicking my walk (different from 'normal') as they walked towards me on the street. As they got closer I gave them a sweet smile and said "good afternoon gentlemen". Their faces were a picture! Kill them with kindness sometimes works.
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Claire Stanfield 2 years ago
Oh! Oh! I know what they say about 'assume' - You're wrong sometimes!
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ChimeraBubbles 2 years ago
I'm loving hearing all the experiences of people with disabilities/disabled people in the comments here. Hello my peeps! I have an obvious physical impairment. I walk quite differently from the norm but don't use noticeable aids, yet. I wear foot/ankle splints but you can't tell because I usually wear trousers. I also have a baby face and I'm under 5' tall. The number of dirty looks I get before I get out of my car and start walking is, quite frankly, hilarious. You'd think they'd see the steering wheel adaptations maybe, or just mind their own business but no. Their expressions usually go from indignant rage to pure shame in a nanosecond. I don't judge anyone else in a disabled parking spot if they've got a blue badge out. It's a shame it's such a universal experience.
perkio 2 years ago
This was many years ago, but my mother had Rheumatoid Arthritis which made it very difficult to walk so she had a disabled license plate. I never question anyone parking in a handicap spot even if it doesn't look right for the sole reason that my mom once saw a man getting out of his car moving like someone who didn't need the disabled spot she wanted. He went around to the passenger side as my mother pulled along side fuming, grumbling at me about the inequities of life and how this guy was such a jackass for taking that space, etc. She had me roll down the passenger side window and she screamed at the guy who was pulling someone out of the passenger side of his car. "You know that's for disabled people, right!?!" As the guy turned toward us, holding what looked like his grandmother, he screamed back "What does it look like she's doing, skipping?!?" I shrunk in embarrassment (I was a teen at the time) as she drove away... laughing. She took the burn well.
DS 2 years ago
This woman is a HERO. I was very luckily only temporarily disabled, but because I was in my mid-20s people would always give my partner and me dirty looks when we parked in disabled spots. Then they'd look stupid AF when he'd open up the trunk and get my wheelchair and cane. But it still made me feel extremely self-conscious and worried about going anywhere and made my PTSD more difficult to recover from. People with all kinds of disabilities deserve to feel safe in the world and if that means making high-and-mighty able-bodied people feel uncomfortable... I've got no problem with that.
Dre Mosley 2 years ago
NTA. He was for assuming you were unjustly taking a handicap space. He might think twice next time.
Claire Stanfield 2 years ago
Awesome that you had a leg to take off! A family member of mine has MS and gets yelled at all the time by random busybodies for using the larger bathroom stall and for 'being a drunk mom around her kid' when she's having muscle coordination issues!! It's terrible!
Caroline Sinclair 2 years ago
My condition is variable: occasionally I use a wheelchair, usually I don't. I have noticed hateful looks when I walk away from a disabled parking spot, no matter how slowly. When using my wheelchair I am more likely to get smiles.
face be drawn lmao 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 2 years ago
ah yes, @tom, they can only use the handicap when they LOOK handicapped.
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deanna woods 2 years ago
Many members of my immediate family have some kind of disability that makes walking long distance difficult. My dad has spinal stenosis, I have fused bones in my ankles, my mom suffers from hip pain, my sister has bad knees, and my aunt is a dialysis patient. None of these disabilities are visible at first sight, but they are real and we have a handicap license plate. If someone ever says anything to us about our disabilities we will tell them to mind their own business. Also my sister has epilepsy and one of her medications makes her constantly tired.
Lsai Aeon 2 years ago
Many years ago, I started developing arthritis in my spine. 11 years ago it got to the point I could not walk without assistance. My insurance wouldn't approve a wheelchair (I have a brand new custom wheelchair being delivered next week) "BeCaUsE yOu CaN sTiLl WaLk" DMV gladly gave me a handicapped placard with my doctor's note. So I pull in and park in the handicapped spot at Target, grab my cane and hobble toward the door. I see a grown a$$ man running and I mean booking it toward the door. I thought that's kinda weird but ok. Turns out he ran to get the last motorized scooter. He sat there on the scooter until I got there, gave me a sneer, and said "F*ck you youngin, I got here first". The funny part, one of the managers happened to be sitting in the little food court and watched the whole thing, a$$hole said he had a heart problem and needed the scooter, manager said no dice you RAN across the parking lot for it just to spite this poor girl who clearly needs it. Arguement insues..
Lsai Aeon 2 years ago
police are called and the a$$hole winds up being permanently banned from this Target store
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NsG 2 years ago
This isn't necessarily about the age or the disability. It's about someone getting an "advantage" that others don't get. I can't see anything in the story that says the jerk in the story had any right to the disabled space, just that he was looking for a close space. Yet he felt it necessary to berate OP for taking a space from someone who deserves it? No - he's just bitter she got the close space. And it's annoyingly common. Jerk-offs like this don't like that someone can get "more" than them - completely and ignorantly overlooking the *disadvantages* that make these accomodations necessary in the first place because all they (want to) see is the queue-jumper/closer parking space/the *preferential treatment*. I hate people sometimes.
Paula McNeely 2 years ago
She did say he parked in a yellow striped spot which means no parking there. I would have liked to hear his version of what happened if he had the b@ll$ to tell it. I have had 4 knee replacements, a broken back, collar bone, ankle & leg , arthritis & fibromyalgia. I fall down all the time. Yes I have a handicapped placard. If my Dr thinks I need one then screw them.
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Benita Valdez 2 years ago
Noone is alone here or in the wrong. You qualify for it you deserve it. They have a problem then you put them in their place because you have the right to be able to use such things and they have no right to treat you that way. Even people with mental disabilities get crap when their driver parks in handicap because ease and safety apparently shouldn't be applied to them since it's not physical. just because it can't be seen, physical or mental, doesn't mean you're not in need of that little bit extra. People are just disgusting thinking they can just judge someone like that.
Sinkvenice 2 years ago
Profoundly NTA. Is he joking?? He made himself look stupid. How she handled the situation is glorious. I sometimes have to use a cane to walk as I have kidney disease and chronic neuropathic pain caused by nerve damage when I had one of my kidney's removed. I was on the London Underground on the way home from work and the train was packed. I had my cane but there was no room to move. A man in a suit eventually stood up and let me sit once he saw my cane. I said thank you and sat down and he was standing right in front of me, looming over me. Then he said "that's a good trick, I should get a cane then I'd get a seat every time too." I asked, do you also want the kidney disease that goes with it? He grumbled but didn't say anything else. D**k.
Guy Incognito 2 years ago
Did she have a tag or plate for disability? If yes then no she's 100 percent not the A hole.
JuniorCJ82 2 years ago
It's obvious he chose not to believe you anyway, so you were not in the wrong in any way whatsoever in showing it to him. That's on him, not you. NTA 3000.
KombatBunni 2 years ago
If I had been there I would have laughed at the guy and given her a high five and bought her something for being so awesome. If you’re an a$$ in public you deserve what you get. Her friends could have been more supportive too and not shamed her. Most definitely NTA, but he sure was!
Orionpax75 2 years ago
First thing is get rid of your BF he's the biggest pussy I ever read about!!! And people should mind their f'n business.....I would have parked there and walked in no need to say anything!!!
Inclusion2020 2 years ago
Your friends should have supported you. Honestly, they are in the wrong too and I sincerely hope that they’ve reflected on their behavior. Society doesn’t recognize exceptionalities and illnesses that are unseen, and many people suffer because of it.
DrNefariousMcFarious 2 years ago
I have a son with disabilities. While it's not everyone's choice, I choose to educate rather than attack. When a woman stared relentlessly at him at an amusement park, I said I hope you are staring because he's beautiful. Or when we parked in handicapped and people have stared when I get out of the car, I have said "Not all disabilities are visible" and unloaded him and his wheelchair.
Nena Rosebud 2 years ago
The person that guy has to blame for making him look stupid is himself. I seriously doubt it would've made a difference if OP had just told him about her leg instead of showing him. Dude is a he'll and probably would've accused her of lying.
Michael Violette 2 years ago
I have to say she did everything I most likely would expect someone who has seen what she has seen, to have done in this situation. I'm sure her family was embarrassed which they said she were, but they also do not know how much she gets ridiculed for age and people not knowing her backstory.
Brian Bennett 2 years ago
I use a walker my bugaboo is people who park in handicapped spots without a placard. Burns my tush, so I carry a very dark lipstick with which I mark the drivers side windshield at approx. at eye level no one who has see me do it has ever said or told anyone!
Erik Granqvist 2 years ago
Hidden handicapps can be a b***h, cause "you don't look sick". You need a wheelchair before people stop looking at you with suspision. I have all limbs in place, but have chronic pains and a severe whiplash. People have been more polite lately, now that I am nearing 50 and start to get gray. I guess that I don't look healthy anymore, and I am way passed the point where I take any b******t. But oh man... people can be sooo mean!
Brandy Grote 2 years ago
I may pop out of the car all perky and bright, but after dragging myself around, I reeeeally need that closeup parking! Which is WHY I have the placard, duh.
Fred Burrows 2 years ago
You should have hit him with it . My Dad is 83 and 100% DAV and folks still run their mouth at him for parking in the handicap space.
Lovin' Life 2 years ago
This girl was definitely NTA. Her group, however was just as ugly as the man. They should have spoke up for her as well.
Cattress511 2 years ago
I would support this young lady making an even bigger show if it if she wished. This guy was definitely the a-hole, but her family didn't come off much better. They should have been quick to show support and make sure her voice was heard. The way that they responded, dismissing a strange man attempting to bully her, set a bad example for the crowd. They should have been supportive, even protective if need be. Is her disability an inconvenience for them? Because I'm sure it doesn't even compare to her reality.
Sarah H 2 years ago
This just happened to me yesterday. I’m 22 and I’ve been a below the knee amputee for a year but have only been in a prosthetic leg for about 2 months so I’m still relearning how to walk and I tire easily. I had a 2 hr physical therapy session then had to go into the grocery store afterwards. I was hurting a lot and was limping even with using crutches to offload from my prosthesis. The nearest regular parking spot available was at the very back of the parking lot. I waited 10 mins for a handicap spot. A older lady saw me waiting for the other people to back up. She looked at my handicap placard then at my face and gave me the dirtiest look like why are you parking in handicap? She then blocked my vehicle and stole that spot. I waited on another spot for 30 mins. These two women saw me waiting then circled around and stole that spot. I gave up and parked on the yellow lines
Sarah H 2 years ago
There was an employee walking by and they stopped him. They were saying things like she can’t park there, it’s illegal, she’s not even handicapped, and her vehicle should be towed. They were on the other side of my vehicle so they couldn’t see me getting out but had seen my face and assumed that since I’m young that I must not need it. I had my placard hanging on my mirror so people could see that I do have a handicap placard despite being young. The employee could see that I’m missing a leg and was using assistive devices. He told them she’s fine and she can park there because she is handicapped. They were still running their mouths about it and tried to bring up my race into it even though it had nothing to do with race. Another time, I was in a wheelchair and needed the spot with extra space to get in and out of the vehicle. A man approached the car and knocked on the window to tell me and my caregiver (20s) that we couldn’t park in that spot and that we were being rude and selfish
Load More Replies... YetAnotherSarah 2 years ago
So sick of people being blamed for "making me/him look stupid." No, a-hole, you made yourself look stupid. (Like the previous post with the OP "embarrassing" the dude who stole her lunch by *taking her own lunch back from the thief*.)
Mattewis88 2 years ago
I rarely use my placard because I don't always need it, my disability isn't as severe so I only use it when I am in real pain or really struggling that day. Im also conscious of people in wheelchairs needing the space if there's only one (wider berth) so I then use the moms and tots parking (strange that there's usually more of those than handicap spots - absurd.) Anyway, you won't believe the entitlement of moms with perfectly healthy 5+- yr olds..
Gavin Johnson 2 years ago
My partner has an invisible disability, on a good day she can walk a few miles, on a bad day she’s wheelchair bound, the disability is really effected by over-exertion and if she walks or drives too much then you can guarantee that within 24 hours she will be struggling to get up and down stairs, a shower is a challenge and she will essentially be house-bound. If we go shopping together then I’m looking to reduce the impact on her in the coming days, the wheelchair is always with us but her independent spirit means that she’d rather walk if possible. That means she LOOKS ok and she can walk round leaning on a trolley, to the uneducated or unaware you’d question her right to a blue badge (disabled parking badge in the U.K.) and we’ve had folk question it, I always see it as a chance to open a dialogue, I’m not averse to standing my ground but I’d rather create understanding and maybe next time they’ll hold a door open rather than get pissy with someone who doesn’t need the aggravation.
Mazer 2 years ago
This happens all the time for people with invisible disabilities. Even some disabled people get pissed off at non-wheelchair users, rationalizing that they are “MORE” disabled. Bottom line is that most people suck. My response to them depends on how long I have been outdoing errands and how much longer I need to be out.
Katchen 2 years ago
My MIL used to always have me use her handicapped placard when I’d drive her, which I was cool with because it’s for her and she needs me to park closer to the door. But she’d *also* tell me to use it when I was driving and she was going to wait in the car. I would refuse, since if the disabled person isn’t getting out of the car, I can leave the handicapped space open for someone who needs it. One would think that as someone who needed those spaces herself, she would have more sense.
madbakes 2 years ago
I often get looks like I'm lazy because I can't lift things or do everyday tasks in general. I was diagnosed a year and a half ago with RA and am still looking for a treatment to be effective enough for me to get back to my pre-illness life. It's difficult enough for me to mentally and emotionally deal with all the ways I've lost my independence, let alone people judging me as lazy and fat when I'm on high dose steroids and can barely take care of myself.
Katherine Boag 2 years ago
Imagine getting mad at another disabled person for taking 'your' space, instead of whoever provided too few disabled parking spaces...
Stephen Mills 2 years ago
This is the correct response. The heat of the moment 'well, actually...' response that i'd like to make in so many similar situations. He could have not butted into her day. If you give rudeness don't be surprised if you get it back, or even better get corrected
Bunzilla 2 years ago
Wait, wait, so let me get this clear. This guy was angry that a young person took the disabled spot that he was planing to use (and nowhere in the story does it mention if he had a disability placard as well)... even though he didn't have a disability himself, but she did? The mental gymnastics of some people is just astounding. These 'those rules apply to everyone else but not me' types need a good slap in the face like this. Plus, he was already trying to make her 'look dumb and feel uncomfortable', so she just returned it right back to him. As he deserved. These creeps make those of us with invisible disabilities scared to use the very resources that were designed to help us.
L Johnson 1 year ago
After my esophageal cancer surgery, I had trouble eating for 4 months. Because of this, I lost almost 80 lbs in 2 months and could not walk because of poor health, no energy, trouble breathing. I got a handicap placard because I could hardly make it from the car to a store front. I was "berated" by a woman in a store for using a motorized shopping cart, when she saw me stand and get a box off the top shelf, in the grocery store. I had been ok up to that point. So I threw a hissy fit, and showed her all my scars, screaming I had no esophagus thru my surgery and reduced to liquids only. She muttered a "sorry" and left. I may have looked like a dumb a$$ at the time but it felt good to vent. People have to understand, you may "look" good but the next day you may end up in the hospital...which is what happened to me.
Matthew Hilliker 2 years ago
I was severely injured in the military at 23 years old. At 21 I purchased a Jeep that I had lifted and enjoyed off roading. After coming home and many surgeries and rehab I had a handicap veteran license plate on that Jeep, although very difficult and time consuming to get in and out of it was my link to normal…my iron horse. I refused to sell it. I have been laid into and cursed out. I understand theses people are thinking they are defending the handicap and good for them. Please don’t be jaded by who you think should merit the placard or plate. You have no idea what it’s like to be blown up in Afghanistan and have no funds for a proper handicap vehicle. Let alone not want to part with your one peace of equipment that makes you feel normal.
Sharon Cooper 2 years ago
No, she was NTA! Her family should have backed her up. So what if a crowd had gathered? There are a lot of disabled people who don't look disabled, and many of them involved spinal, leg, and head injuries that make it necessary for someone to park close to the front of a store. While this ahole bully (and that's what he is) walked away muttering how she 'made him look stupid' and 'should have just told him' about her disability, the fact is that he never would have believed her had she not shown him the truth! He would have accused him of lying, plain and simple, thinking no one would do what she did even if it were true. So no, she was NTA: he was.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
When are people going to learn that having a disability DOES NOT MEAN you need a wheelchair/crutches or cane? If you have a placard in your car that's all anyone needs to know. It's nobody's f*cking business that I have COPD, or that I had my hip replaced. The placard says it all. And for you morons who think you can just BUY ONE - um, NO. You have to have a prescription from your doctor, just like you do with medications. So stop making assumptions based on your narrow idea of what being disabled looks like.
Susan Mercurio 2 years ago
I don't have any teeth, and I was in a place where the social worker kept asking me if I wanted an apple, and I kept politely turning it down. After several times, I just opened my mouth as wide as I could and showed her why I was refusing. Everyone around thought I was the a$$hole but she should have taken my polite refusal at face value.
Evelyn Haskins 2 years ago
I have a handicapped parking permit. If I had seen a space and someone else beat me to it, I would simply drive on. It happens in crowded car park the whole time.
similarly 2 years ago
There are young people who have heart problems that make it difficult or even dangerous to walk across a parking lot. They have as much right to a disabled parking space as any other disabled person. Just because we can't easily see a disability doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
MohawkBunny182 2 years ago
This happened to me and my mom a couple of months ago: my mom has been sick with some mysterious disease for 11 years and a she was starting to get better due to a new treatment. Anyway she started to drive again a little bit which was a miracle since a couple years prior she was wheelchair bound, and there was a dollar store about 5-10 minutes away. She decided that she was feeling well enough to go just for fun since she hadn’t been out of the house in a while. When we get there she parks in the handicap (and she has the license on her car and everything) and we get out and this man is standing off to the side and has the audacity to say “no wheelchair?” My mom has always told me to just ignore people like that but I think my mom broke that rule that day and called this man out tell him she had a pacemaker, port, and gets monthly infusions, and that today was the first day she got to drive in a very long time. Let’s just say the man wanted to dig himself a hole and jump in it.
Connie Teeters 2 years ago
I had this happen to me too. I came out of a store just as a lady was putting a note on my car that said I was selfish and that someone handicapped could have used that spot. I proceeded to show her my two knees that have been replaced and asked if she wanted to see the scars running down my legs from my hips due to a bone defect I was born with. I then also told her that I can't show her anything to prove it but I had just suffered a heart attack three months ago. She just gave me a dirty look and walked away. I sat in my car and cried for about 10 minutes.
Kathy Thrash 2 years ago
Not the a-hole. I have an "invisible" illness where I have a placard. I have been in three car accidents and deal with a lot of pain though sometimes I have good days. There are days where I am needing my cane and can barely walk to days where the pain is there but not as bad so I don't need the cane but I know if I do too much walking I'll have problems. Thankfully I haven't had any issues from other people.
Marion Goriak 2 years ago
Yup, cane user here. Also fat. People like to tsk tsk at me for using a cane, and I know they are judging me for my fatness, but that has nothing to do with the fact that there's no cartilage left in my knees. Wish me luck on my TKR at the end of the month!
Blaine's the Middle Name 2 years ago
NTA!! I go through the same crap, though I'm not as injured as OP. I had a bad headon collison when I was 25. People came across the 4 lane highway and hit me after plowing through another car. I've had 3 ankle surgeries and have back issues. I've gotten downright, boil through your skin stares, but after I pull out a walker they walk quickly away. I've also had a friend go inside to get a motorized cart and was told she needed to leave it for someone who really needs it. She said that she was getting it for a friend who couldn't even walk inside and to mind their own business. I came rolling by with my cast on and the person refused to look at us.
Brenda 2 years ago
I actually had to lift up my shirt and show one older woman my mastectomy scar to get her to stop harassing me. First outing after chemo and this lady is pissed I parked in handicap & I'm using a motorized cart. Lady, I got more than my fair share of health problems (probably more than you!), so try asking next time! She said I was disgusting for showing my scar and I could have just told her. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO & IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
Brenda 2 years ago
I have this problem all the time. "Invisible Disabilities" can be so hard. I've had people leave nasty notes on my car, follow me into stores to yell at me, etc. The worst one was just after I was finally allowed to go out in public after chemo. I have autoimmune diseases as well as spinal issues, hence the handicap placard. Because I was so weak from chemo, I parked in a handicap spot & got a motorized carts. I had an older lady follow me around the grocery store making comments, but never directly to me. I was just lazy, i wasn't handicapped, I should be arrested and/or given a ticket, I should be ashamed of myself , I was forcing an elderly disabled man to walk around the store because I got the last available cart. It really upset me, but I let it go..... Until she said my mom hadn't taught me manners, probably didn't have any herself, etc. I confronted her, said don't assume & lifted my shirt to show my mastectomy scar. Said I should have told her. Really? Like its your business
David Woollands 2 years ago
Beat the s**t out of them with your leg - they might accept it then
Jaye Smith 2 years ago
No, stuff him! Get sick hearing about jerks like this..did he pass out?
Don't Look 2 years ago
I wonder what kind of day he was having that put him in that position. He was likely really embarrassed. He was definitely in the wrong but being handicapped doesn’t automatically put you in the right.
d bradley 2 years ago
the guy is such a big a22hole he walks away still saying you did HIM wrong... wtf. you did probably the only thing that might have made the a22hole think about it more than once or twice next time he wants to act in that way. and rude! are you kidding me? keep on keepin' on.
DDmaybeandor 2 years ago
I love the story from the person at the pool. “I waved my stump at them”. Exactly the right response.
Cecily Holland 2 years ago
If you look up this type of confrontation on reddit you will find this post word for word from the person who it ACTUALLY happened to and she copied and pasted from bar a couple of alterations she made, a young man from Australia who’s post predates hers by 2 years.
Lsai Aeon 2 years ago
This kind of thing ACTUALLY happens to practically EVERYONE with a disability. Just because it is word for word the same as another post does NOT mean it didn't happen to that poster too.
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JayWantsACat 2 years ago
"I was a complete a*****e so how dare you call me out make me feel like a complete a*****e when I was in the wrong??!" So weird people can't have some self-awareness and just admit they were wrong and shitty. But these people are why Trump was voted in as President, so I guess I'm not really surprised.
Mary Jeffries 2 years ago
I wish I could have seen this! Good for you. Shut down those buttheads!
Martin Forbes 2 years ago
Nope. It's not you whose the AH. The other guy was. Just because he was stressed looking for a car space, couldn't find one then doesn't give him the right to throw his toys to the floor when he realised that his mistake was his own doing. Trying to blame you for his behaviour that was completely his fault shows how shitty he really is, why your family couldn't see that is a bizarre.
phil blanque 2 years ago
This is tricky business. I see so many people who park in handicap slots, with no tag, who run in and out of stores just so they do not have to walk another 30 feet. And we all know there is a great deal of fraudulent use by otherwise able-bodied people...lazy, selfish people. If I was entitled to use these spaces and saw abusers, I would be VERY aggressive.
Beth S 2 years ago
It is very hard to tell by "seeing"... best to err on the side of caution and not make assumptions based on what appears to be an abled bodied person.
Load More Replies... Mouse 2 years ago
People just need to mind their business. This happens all the time with all kinds of disabilities. I've had a woman whisper to me that I shouldn't be out in public looking like that, she shouldn't be grocery shopping and have to look at what I'm dealing with. Turned her stomach she said. So I loudly repeated what she had said back to her, just to clarify 💀 and she scooted off pretty quickly, coward. I've had People try to photograph and video me even. I get that people don't see someone who looks like me very often but if they'd think about it from my point of view for a minute, they'd put their phone away and say hi. I'm pretty open and will answer questions if someone asks, children are often curious and say sweet/funny things, but most adults just stare or have something nasty to say. Definitely have a thick skin at this point😁 I think what she did with her leg was warranted and hilarious, good for her.
Sam 2 years ago
My dad had partial face paralysis due to a brain tumor operation and when people wold make comments he would roll his eye back in his head a drool. It was hilarious and shut them up quick.
Load More Replies... Beth L 2 years ago
"because there was a crowd" is exactly when to confront a jerk. Educate them all at once!
tuzdayschild 2 years ago
Disgusting? You body is your body and it doesn't have to meet anyone else's approval.
Ponyo (they/them) 2 years ago
I've seen a few of your comments and I just wanted to say that you are a literal queen. thank you for taking time out of your day to educate others. You are amazing.
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 2 years ago
I have a fractured vertebrae in my lower back that never healed right. It makes it painful to walk sometimes. But you can't see it. Some old lady who also had handicapped placard was upset I parked in a handicapped spot. She mumbled "Being fat is not a disability." I replied "Neither is stupidity, yet here you are." She was pissed!
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
It's a prosthetic leg. If people can cope with dentures, which are removable *teeth*? So the person has a prosthesis of whatever. They are fitted, but can still be uncomfy, and if someone can scratch their groin while playing baseball, I think we can all accept a prosthesis being taken off for a while. (I find public groin-scratching far nastier, if you hadn't guessed.)
Ally MacMann 2 years ago
Definitely NTA! Going on a tirade against someone based on an assumption is terrible. Calling the other person rude when being called out on being wrong is a disgrace. He should have been ashamed and made a grovelling apology.
Suzi Q 2 years ago
NTA As a disabled person whose disabilities are not clearly visible, I get so sick of people challenging my placard usage. I used to get that a lot more when I first needed my placard at age 29. Your group should have stuck up for you rather than being embarrassed. The driver was clearly in the wrong, HE should've been embarrassed.
Ozacoter 2 years ago
Yeah f**k, invisible illneses and disabilities are a huge problem and most people doesnt even recognize them. I have "good days" were i can do "a lot" but i have bad days where getting to the kitchen to have breakfast is too much. Unless i am horribly bad people doesnt seem to notice the difference. I hate when people say things like "but you are not disabled" or when the assholes of the government refuse to give me a disability parking card despite being recognised as disabled because I am not an amputee (one of the very few that get them here).
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Something not mentioned here is whether the a*****e who yelled at the OP had a handicapped permit himself, or was just a lazy able-bodied a*****e who wanted to park in a handicapped space.where he didn’t belong. Because he certainly seemed to be able-bodied, if he could jump out of his car and right down the throat of a young amputee like he did.
Memere 2 years ago (edited)
From the way it was written, I figured the a$$hole didn't have a handicapped permit. But I checked the actual reddit post, & he did have a passenger who was disabled. However the parking spot she took wasn't the last one, there were several other open spots. She just got to the closest one first. Here's the link if you want to read it: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t65zud/aita_for_taking_off_my_leg_and_making_someone/
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 2 years ago
You can't judge a book by its cover. That's why all disabled people have stickers or some sign on their car to show that they have the right to use a disabled spot. You have every right to call the police if you see someone using a disabled parking spot without the appropriate documents, you don't have any right to harass people just because the person doesn't look disabled enough to use a disabled parking spot. You are not para-abnormal gifted enough to see if someone is or isn't disabled.
Memere 2 years ago (edited)
At my last job before retiring, there was a gal who drove her mother's car to work every day, & used her mother's disabled placard to park in the handicapped spaces in the building garage. She did this for a couple of months - until 'someone' mentioned it to the security guard, who was former law enforcement, so he knew the law. He then reported it to the personnel manager. She quit parking in the handicapped spots, but actually had the nerve to complain to a couple of people! Her excuse was that it was her mom's car & she had to used the placard to drive her mom to the doctor. Sorry, lady, you can't use the placard when mom isn't IN the car!
Load More Replies... Emiloy 2 years ago (edited)
I wish the general public would stop monitoring accessible spots - it rarely helps disabled people and most often results in us being harassed. If you are someone who wants to help disabled people, here’s what you can do instead of scrutinizing people while they park: 1) if someone you know personally is using a spot without a permit or using someone else’s permit illegally speak to them about it, but leave strangers alone. 2) don’t leave shopping carts in the painted areas beside these parking spots - they’re critical for us to transfer in and out of our vehicles. 3) never park in front of or block curb cuts or ramps, even for “just a minute”. All these things are far more helpful to us than random folks monitoring the spots to make sure we’re “disabled enough” to use them. Please just let us go about our business, thank you :) [edited for typo and clarity]
Emiloy 2 years ago
I am a middle aged wheelchair user and used to be able to go places independently. Almost every time I parked I was watched, and often confronted until I got my mobility aid out. People would shake their heads at me, point to the signs, wag their finger, tell me off etc until they saw my aid, and then usually just shrug and walk away. I hated it, and felt stressed every time I parked. I also know a number of other disabled folks who won’t use these spaces even though they need them, and either avoid going places or won’t go independently because of it. So if you think you’re helping disabled people by monitoring these spaces, please understand you’re probably just making things harder for us instead and there are other ways you can help
Load More Replies... Rens 2 years ago
I also have invisible disabilities; I use a stick when I'm in a place where I can't use my mobility scooter. My scooter is one of the big heavy ones that goes between 4 and 8 miles/hour. Unfortunately, due to a combination of my medications and my inability to exercise, I have put on a fair bit of weight and the number of times I've heard comments about my "obesity scooter" is more than I can count. I don't owe anyone any explanations, and I ignore it. When I do walk, short distances only, I waddle because of the pain and stiffness in my hips and pelvis. A group of kids were mocking me outside the shop when I was walking me, calling me "Mrs Waddle" and I turned around and said "That's right" and smiled. That shut them up. Last time I had someone comment on how I didn't look disabled, I said they didn't look stupid, but looks are deceiving...
ChimeraBubbles 2 years ago
Love your responses! I once had some youths mimicking my walk (different from 'normal') as they walked towards me on the street. As they got closer I gave them a sweet smile and said "good afternoon gentlemen". Their faces were a picture! Kill them with kindness sometimes works.
Load More Replies... Claire Stanfield 2 years ago
Oh! Oh! I know what they say about 'assume' - You're wrong sometimes!
Load More Replies... ChimeraBubbles 2 years ago
I'm loving hearing all the experiences of people with disabilities/disabled people in the comments here. Hello my peeps! I have an obvious physical impairment. I walk quite differently from the norm but don't use noticeable aids, yet. I wear foot/ankle splints but you can't tell because I usually wear trousers. I also have a baby face and I'm under 5' tall. The number of dirty looks I get before I get out of my car and start walking is, quite frankly, hilarious. You'd think they'd see the steering wheel adaptations maybe, or just mind their own business but no. Their expressions usually go from indignant rage to pure shame in a nanosecond. I don't judge anyone else in a disabled parking spot if they've got a blue badge out. It's a shame it's such a universal experience.
perkio 2 years ago
This was many years ago, but my mother had Rheumatoid Arthritis which made it very difficult to walk so she had a disabled license plate. I never question anyone parking in a handicap spot even if it doesn't look right for the sole reason that my mom once saw a man getting out of his car moving like someone who didn't need the disabled spot she wanted. He went around to the passenger side as my mother pulled along side fuming, grumbling at me about the inequities of life and how this guy was such a jackass for taking that space, etc. She had me roll down the passenger side window and she screamed at the guy who was pulling someone out of the passenger side of his car. "You know that's for disabled people, right!?!" As the guy turned toward us, holding what looked like his grandmother, he screamed back "What does it look like she's doing, skipping?!?" I shrunk in embarrassment (I was a teen at the time) as she drove away... laughing. She took the burn well.
DS 2 years ago
This woman is a HERO. I was very luckily only temporarily disabled, but because I was in my mid-20s people would always give my partner and me dirty looks when we parked in disabled spots. Then they'd look stupid AF when he'd open up the trunk and get my wheelchair and cane. But it still made me feel extremely self-conscious and worried about going anywhere and made my PTSD more difficult to recover from. People with all kinds of disabilities deserve to feel safe in the world and if that means making high-and-mighty able-bodied people feel uncomfortable... I've got no problem with that.
Dre Mosley 2 years ago
NTA. He was for assuming you were unjustly taking a handicap space. He might think twice next time.
Claire Stanfield 2 years ago
Awesome that you had a leg to take off! A family member of mine has MS and gets yelled at all the time by random busybodies for using the larger bathroom stall and for 'being a drunk mom around her kid' when she's having muscle coordination issues!! It's terrible!
Caroline Sinclair 2 years ago
My condition is variable: occasionally I use a wheelchair, usually I don't. I have noticed hateful looks when I walk away from a disabled parking spot, no matter how slowly. When using my wheelchair I am more likely to get smiles.
face be drawn lmao 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 2 years ago
ah yes, @tom, they can only use the handicap when they LOOK handicapped.
Load More Replies... deanna woods 2 years ago
Many members of my immediate family have some kind of disability that makes walking long distance difficult. My dad has spinal stenosis, I have fused bones in my ankles, my mom suffers from hip pain, my sister has bad knees, and my aunt is a dialysis patient. None of these disabilities are visible at first sight, but they are real and we have a handicap license plate. If someone ever says anything to us about our disabilities we will tell them to mind their own business. Also my sister has epilepsy and one of her medications makes her constantly tired.
Lsai Aeon 2 years ago
Many years ago, I started developing arthritis in my spine. 11 years ago it got to the point I could not walk without assistance. My insurance wouldn't approve a wheelchair (I have a brand new custom wheelchair being delivered next week) "BeCaUsE yOu CaN sTiLl WaLk" DMV gladly gave me a handicapped placard with my doctor's note. So I pull in and park in the handicapped spot at Target, grab my cane and hobble toward the door. I see a grown a$$ man running and I mean booking it toward the door. I thought that's kinda weird but ok. Turns out he ran to get the last motorized scooter. He sat there on the scooter until I got there, gave me a sneer, and said "F*ck you youngin, I got here first". The funny part, one of the managers happened to be sitting in the little food court and watched the whole thing, a$$hole said he had a heart problem and needed the scooter, manager said no dice you RAN across the parking lot for it just to spite this poor girl who clearly needs it. Arguement insues..
Lsai Aeon 2 years ago
police are called and the a$$hole winds up being permanently banned from this Target store
Load More Replies... NsG 2 years ago
This isn't necessarily about the age or the disability. It's about someone getting an "advantage" that others don't get. I can't see anything in the story that says the jerk in the story had any right to the disabled space, just that he was looking for a close space. Yet he felt it necessary to berate OP for taking a space from someone who deserves it? No - he's just bitter she got the close space. And it's annoyingly common. Jerk-offs like this don't like that someone can get "more" than them - completely and ignorantly overlooking the *disadvantages* that make these accomodations necessary in the first place because all they (want to) see is the queue-jumper/closer parking space/the *preferential treatment*. I hate people sometimes.
Paula McNeely 2 years ago
She did say he parked in a yellow striped spot which means no parking there. I would have liked to hear his version of what happened if he had the b@ll$ to tell it. I have had 4 knee replacements, a broken back, collar bone, ankle & leg , arthritis & fibromyalgia. I fall down all the time. Yes I have a handicapped placard. If my Dr thinks I need one then screw them.
Load More Replies... Benita Valdez 2 years ago
Noone is alone here or in the wrong. You qualify for it you deserve it. They have a problem then you put them in their place because you have the right to be able to use such things and they have no right to treat you that way. Even people with mental disabilities get crap when their driver parks in handicap because ease and safety apparently shouldn't be applied to them since it's not physical. just because it can't be seen, physical or mental, doesn't mean you're not in need of that little bit extra. People are just disgusting thinking they can just judge someone like that.
Sinkvenice 2 years ago
Profoundly NTA. Is he joking?? He made himself look stupid. How she handled the situation is glorious. I sometimes have to use a cane to walk as I have kidney disease and chronic neuropathic pain caused by nerve damage when I had one of my kidney's removed. I was on the London Underground on the way home from work and the train was packed. I had my cane but there was no room to move. A man in a suit eventually stood up and let me sit once he saw my cane. I said thank you and sat down and he was standing right in front of me, looming over me. Then he said "that's a good trick, I should get a cane then I'd get a seat every time too." I asked, do you also want the kidney disease that goes with it? He grumbled but didn't say anything else. D**k.
Guy Incognito 2 years ago
Did she have a tag or plate for disability? If yes then no she's 100 percent not the A hole.
JuniorCJ82 2 years ago
It's obvious he chose not to believe you anyway, so you were not in the wrong in any way whatsoever in showing it to him. That's on him, not you. NTA 3000.
KombatBunni 2 years ago
If I had been there I would have laughed at the guy and given her a high five and bought her something for being so awesome. If you’re an a$$ in public you deserve what you get. Her friends could have been more supportive too and not shamed her. Most definitely NTA, but he sure was!
Orionpax75 2 years ago
First thing is get rid of your BF he's the biggest pussy I ever read about!!! And people should mind their f'n business.....I would have parked there and walked in no need to say anything!!!
Inclusion2020 2 years ago
Your friends should have supported you. Honestly, they are in the wrong too and I sincerely hope that they’ve reflected on their behavior. Society doesn’t recognize exceptionalities and illnesses that are unseen, and many people suffer because of it.
DrNefariousMcFarious 2 years ago
I have a son with disabilities. While it's not everyone's choice, I choose to educate rather than attack. When a woman stared relentlessly at him at an amusement park, I said I hope you are staring because he's beautiful. Or when we parked in handicapped and people have stared when I get out of the car, I have said "Not all disabilities are visible" and unloaded him and his wheelchair.
Nena Rosebud 2 years ago
The person that guy has to blame for making him look stupid is himself. I seriously doubt it would've made a difference if OP had just told him about her leg instead of showing him. Dude is a he'll and probably would've accused her of lying.
Michael Violette 2 years ago
I have to say she did everything I most likely would expect someone who has seen what she has seen, to have done in this situation. I'm sure her family was embarrassed which they said she were, but they also do not know how much she gets ridiculed for age and people not knowing her backstory.
Brian Bennett 2 years ago
I use a walker my bugaboo is people who park in handicapped spots without a placard. Burns my tush, so I carry a very dark lipstick with which I mark the drivers side windshield at approx. at eye level no one who has see me do it has ever said or told anyone!
Erik Granqvist 2 years ago
Hidden handicapps can be a b***h, cause "you don't look sick". You need a wheelchair before people stop looking at you with suspision. I have all limbs in place, but have chronic pains and a severe whiplash. People have been more polite lately, now that I am nearing 50 and start to get gray. I guess that I don't look healthy anymore, and I am way passed the point where I take any b******t. But oh man... people can be sooo mean!
Brandy Grote 2 years ago
I may pop out of the car all perky and bright, but after dragging myself around, I reeeeally need that closeup parking! Which is WHY I have the placard, duh.
Fred Burrows 2 years ago
You should have hit him with it . My Dad is 83 and 100% DAV and folks still run their mouth at him for parking in the handicap space.
Lovin' Life 2 years ago
This girl was definitely NTA. Her group, however was just as ugly as the man. They should have spoke up for her as well.
Cattress511 2 years ago
I would support this young lady making an even bigger show if it if she wished. This guy was definitely the a-hole, but her family didn't come off much better. They should have been quick to show support and make sure her voice was heard. The way that they responded, dismissing a strange man attempting to bully her, set a bad example for the crowd. They should have been supportive, even protective if need be. Is her disability an inconvenience for them? Because I'm sure it doesn't even compare to her reality.
Sarah H 2 years ago
This just happened to me yesterday. I’m 22 and I’ve been a below the knee amputee for a year but have only been in a prosthetic leg for about 2 months so I’m still relearning how to walk and I tire easily. I had a 2 hr physical therapy session then had to go into the grocery store afterwards. I was hurting a lot and was limping even with using crutches to offload from my prosthesis. The nearest regular parking spot available was at the very back of the parking lot. I waited 10 mins for a handicap spot. A older lady saw me waiting for the other people to back up. She looked at my handicap placard then at my face and gave me the dirtiest look like why are you parking in handicap? She then blocked my vehicle and stole that spot. I waited on another spot for 30 mins. These two women saw me waiting then circled around and stole that spot. I gave up and parked on the yellow lines
Sarah H 2 years ago
There was an employee walking by and they stopped him. They were saying things like she can’t park there, it’s illegal, she’s not even handicapped, and her vehicle should be towed. They were on the other side of my vehicle so they couldn’t see me getting out but had seen my face and assumed that since I’m young that I must not need it. I had my placard hanging on my mirror so people could see that I do have a handicap placard despite being young. The employee could see that I’m missing a leg and was using assistive devices. He told them she’s fine and she can park there because she is handicapped. They were still running their mouths about it and tried to bring up my race into it even though it had nothing to do with race. Another time, I was in a wheelchair and needed the spot with extra space to get in and out of the vehicle. A man approached the car and knocked on the window to tell me and my caregiver (20s) that we couldn’t park in that spot and that we were being rude and selfish
Load More Replies... YetAnotherSarah 2 years ago
So sick of people being blamed for "making me/him look stupid." No, a-hole, you made yourself look stupid. (Like the previous post with the OP "embarrassing" the dude who stole her lunch by *taking her own lunch back from the thief*.)
Mattewis88 2 years ago
I rarely use my placard because I don't always need it, my disability isn't as severe so I only use it when I am in real pain or really struggling that day. Im also conscious of people in wheelchairs needing the space if there's only one (wider berth) so I then use the moms and tots parking (strange that there's usually more of those than handicap spots - absurd.) Anyway, you won't believe the entitlement of moms with perfectly healthy 5+- yr olds..
Gavin Johnson 2 years ago
My partner has an invisible disability, on a good day she can walk a few miles, on a bad day she’s wheelchair bound, the disability is really effected by over-exertion and if she walks or drives too much then you can guarantee that within 24 hours she will be struggling to get up and down stairs, a shower is a challenge and she will essentially be house-bound. If we go shopping together then I’m looking to reduce the impact on her in the coming days, the wheelchair is always with us but her independent spirit means that she’d rather walk if possible. That means she LOOKS ok and she can walk round leaning on a trolley, to the uneducated or unaware you’d question her right to a blue badge (disabled parking badge in the U.K.) and we’ve had folk question it, I always see it as a chance to open a dialogue, I’m not averse to standing my ground but I’d rather create understanding and maybe next time they’ll hold a door open rather than get pissy with someone who doesn’t need the aggravation.
Mazer 2 years ago
This happens all the time for people with invisible disabilities. Even some disabled people get pissed off at non-wheelchair users, rationalizing that they are “MORE” disabled. Bottom line is that most people suck. My response to them depends on how long I have been outdoing errands and how much longer I need to be out.
Katchen 2 years ago
My MIL used to always have me use her handicapped placard when I’d drive her, which I was cool with because it’s for her and she needs me to park closer to the door. But she’d *also* tell me to use it when I was driving and she was going to wait in the car. I would refuse, since if the disabled person isn’t getting out of the car, I can leave the handicapped space open for someone who needs it. One would think that as someone who needed those spaces herself, she would have more sense.
madbakes 2 years ago
I often get looks like I'm lazy because I can't lift things or do everyday tasks in general. I was diagnosed a year and a half ago with RA and am still looking for a treatment to be effective enough for me to get back to my pre-illness life. It's difficult enough for me to mentally and emotionally deal with all the ways I've lost my independence, let alone people judging me as lazy and fat when I'm on high dose steroids and can barely take care of myself.
Katherine Boag 2 years ago
Imagine getting mad at another disabled person for taking 'your' space, instead of whoever provided too few disabled parking spaces...
Stephen Mills 2 years ago
This is the correct response. The heat of the moment 'well, actually...' response that i'd like to make in so many similar situations. He could have not butted into her day. If you give rudeness don't be surprised if you get it back, or even better get corrected
Bunzilla 2 years ago
Wait, wait, so let me get this clear. This guy was angry that a young person took the disabled spot that he was planing to use (and nowhere in the story does it mention if he had a disability placard as well)... even though he didn't have a disability himself, but she did? The mental gymnastics of some people is just astounding. These 'those rules apply to everyone else but not me' types need a good slap in the face like this. Plus, he was already trying to make her 'look dumb and feel uncomfortable', so she just returned it right back to him. As he deserved. These creeps make those of us with invisible disabilities scared to use the very resources that were designed to help us.
L Johnson 1 year ago
After my esophageal cancer surgery, I had trouble eating for 4 months. Because of this, I lost almost 80 lbs in 2 months and could not walk because of poor health, no energy, trouble breathing. I got a handicap placard because I could hardly make it from the car to a store front. I was "berated" by a woman in a store for using a motorized shopping cart, when she saw me stand and get a box off the top shelf, in the grocery store. I had been ok up to that point. So I threw a hissy fit, and showed her all my scars, screaming I had no esophagus thru my surgery and reduced to liquids only. She muttered a "sorry" and left. I may have looked like a dumb a$$ at the time but it felt good to vent. People have to understand, you may "look" good but the next day you may end up in the hospital...which is what happened to me.
Matthew Hilliker 2 years ago
I was severely injured in the military at 23 years old. At 21 I purchased a Jeep that I had lifted and enjoyed off roading. After coming home and many surgeries and rehab I had a handicap veteran license plate on that Jeep, although very difficult and time consuming to get in and out of it was my link to normal…my iron horse. I refused to sell it. I have been laid into and cursed out. I understand theses people are thinking they are defending the handicap and good for them. Please don’t be jaded by who you think should merit the placard or plate. You have no idea what it’s like to be blown up in Afghanistan and have no funds for a proper handicap vehicle. Let alone not want to part with your one peace of equipment that makes you feel normal.
Sharon Cooper 2 years ago
No, she was NTA! Her family should have backed her up. So what if a crowd had gathered? There are a lot of disabled people who don't look disabled, and many of them involved spinal, leg, and head injuries that make it necessary for someone to park close to the front of a store. While this ahole bully (and that's what he is) walked away muttering how she 'made him look stupid' and 'should have just told him' about her disability, the fact is that he never would have believed her had she not shown him the truth! He would have accused him of lying, plain and simple, thinking no one would do what she did even if it were true. So no, she was NTA: he was.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
When are people going to learn that having a disability DOES NOT MEAN you need a wheelchair/crutches or cane? If you have a placard in your car that's all anyone needs to know. It's nobody's f*cking business that I have COPD, or that I had my hip replaced. The placard says it all. And for you morons who think you can just BUY ONE - um, NO. You have to have a prescription from your doctor, just like you do with medications. So stop making assumptions based on your narrow idea of what being disabled looks like.
Susan Mercurio 2 years ago
I don't have any teeth, and I was in a place where the social worker kept asking me if I wanted an apple, and I kept politely turning it down. After several times, I just opened my mouth as wide as I could and showed her why I was refusing. Everyone around thought I was the a$$hole but she should have taken my polite refusal at face value.
Evelyn Haskins 2 years ago
I have a handicapped parking permit. If I had seen a space and someone else beat me to it, I would simply drive on. It happens in crowded car park the whole time.
similarly 2 years ago
There are young people who have heart problems that make it difficult or even dangerous to walk across a parking lot. They have as much right to a disabled parking space as any other disabled person. Just because we can't easily see a disability doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
MohawkBunny182 2 years ago
This happened to me and my mom a couple of months ago: my mom has been sick with some mysterious disease for 11 years and a she was starting to get better due to a new treatment. Anyway she started to drive again a little bit which was a miracle since a couple years prior she was wheelchair bound, and there was a dollar store about 5-10 minutes away. She decided that she was feeling well enough to go just for fun since she hadn’t been out of the house in a while. When we get there she parks in the handicap (and she has the license on her car and everything) and we get out and this man is standing off to the side and has the audacity to say “no wheelchair?” My mom has always told me to just ignore people like that but I think my mom broke that rule that day and called this man out tell him she had a pacemaker, port, and gets monthly infusions, and that today was the first day she got to drive in a very long time. Let’s just say the man wanted to dig himself a hole and jump in it.
Connie Teeters 2 years ago
I had this happen to me too. I came out of a store just as a lady was putting a note on my car that said I was selfish and that someone handicapped could have used that spot. I proceeded to show her my two knees that have been replaced and asked if she wanted to see the scars running down my legs from my hips due to a bone defect I was born with. I then also told her that I can't show her anything to prove it but I had just suffered a heart attack three months ago. She just gave me a dirty look and walked away. I sat in my car and cried for about 10 minutes.
Kathy Thrash 2 years ago
Not the a-hole. I have an "invisible" illness where I have a placard. I have been in three car accidents and deal with a lot of pain though sometimes I have good days. There are days where I am needing my cane and can barely walk to days where the pain is there but not as bad so I don't need the cane but I know if I do too much walking I'll have problems. Thankfully I haven't had any issues from other people.
Marion Goriak 2 years ago
Yup, cane user here. Also fat. People like to tsk tsk at me for using a cane, and I know they are judging me for my fatness, but that has nothing to do with the fact that there's no cartilage left in my knees. Wish me luck on my TKR at the end of the month!
Blaine's the Middle Name 2 years ago
NTA!! I go through the same crap, though I'm not as injured as OP. I had a bad headon collison when I was 25. People came across the 4 lane highway and hit me after plowing through another car. I've had 3 ankle surgeries and have back issues. I've gotten downright, boil through your skin stares, but after I pull out a walker they walk quickly away. I've also had a friend go inside to get a motorized cart and was told she needed to leave it for someone who really needs it. She said that she was getting it for a friend who couldn't even walk inside and to mind their own business. I came rolling by with my cast on and the person refused to look at us.
Brenda 2 years ago
I actually had to lift up my shirt and show one older woman my mastectomy scar to get her to stop harassing me. First outing after chemo and this lady is pissed I parked in handicap & I'm using a motorized cart. Lady, I got more than my fair share of health problems (probably more than you!), so try asking next time! She said I was disgusting for showing my scar and I could have just told her. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO & IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
Brenda 2 years ago
I have this problem all the time. "Invisible Disabilities" can be so hard. I've had people leave nasty notes on my car, follow me into stores to yell at me, etc. The worst one was just after I was finally allowed to go out in public after chemo. I have autoimmune diseases as well as spinal issues, hence the handicap placard. Because I was so weak from chemo, I parked in a handicap spot & got a motorized carts. I had an older lady follow me around the grocery store making comments, but never directly to me. I was just lazy, i wasn't handicapped, I should be arrested and/or given a ticket, I should be ashamed of myself , I was forcing an elderly disabled man to walk around the store because I got the last available cart. It really upset me, but I let it go..... Until she said my mom hadn't taught me manners, probably didn't have any herself, etc. I confronted her, said don't assume & lifted my shirt to show my mastectomy scar. Said I should have told her. Really? Like its your business
David Woollands 2 years ago
Beat the s**t out of them with your leg - they might accept it then
Jaye Smith 2 years ago
No, stuff him! Get sick hearing about jerks like this..did he pass out?
Don't Look 2 years ago
I wonder what kind of day he was having that put him in that position. He was likely really embarrassed. He was definitely in the wrong but being handicapped doesn’t automatically put you in the right.
d bradley 2 years ago
the guy is such a big a22hole he walks away still saying you did HIM wrong... wtf. you did probably the only thing that might have made the a22hole think about it more than once or twice next time he wants to act in that way. and rude! are you kidding me? keep on keepin' on.
DDmaybeandor 2 years ago
I love the story from the person at the pool. “I waved my stump at them”. Exactly the right response.
Cecily Holland 2 years ago
If you look up this type of confrontation on reddit you will find this post word for word from the person who it ACTUALLY happened to and she copied and pasted from bar a couple of alterations she made, a young man from Australia who’s post predates hers by 2 years.
Lsai Aeon 2 years ago
This kind of thing ACTUALLY happens to practically EVERYONE with a disability. Just because it is word for word the same as another post does NOT mean it didn't happen to that poster too.
Load More Replies... JayWantsACat 2 years ago
"I was a complete a*****e so how dare you call me out make me feel like a complete a*****e when I was in the wrong??!" So weird people can't have some self-awareness and just admit they were wrong and shitty. But these people are why Trump was voted in as President, so I guess I'm not really surprised.
Mary Jeffries 2 years ago
I wish I could have seen this! Good for you. Shut down those buttheads!
Martin Forbes 2 years ago
Nope. It's not you whose the AH. The other guy was. Just because he was stressed looking for a car space, couldn't find one then doesn't give him the right to throw his toys to the floor when he realised that his mistake was his own doing. Trying to blame you for his behaviour that was completely his fault shows how shitty he really is, why your family couldn't see that is a bizarre.
phil blanque 2 years ago
This is tricky business. I see so many people who park in handicap slots, with no tag, who run in and out of stores just so they do not have to walk another 30 feet. And we all know there is a great deal of fraudulent use by otherwise able-bodied people...lazy, selfish people. If I was entitled to use these spaces and saw abusers, I would be VERY aggressive.
Beth S 2 years ago
It is very hard to tell by "seeing"... best to err on the side of caution and not make assumptions based on what appears to be an abled bodied person.
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