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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend’s Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

We all know it feels better to give than receive. But sometimes, gift-giving can be a blessing and a curse all at the same time. It brings us great joy to please someone with a lovely surprise, especially when we create that specific item with our own two hands. But equally, it can cause a lot of stress and pressure to find just the right thing the receiver wants and needs.

Still, we clearly anticipate a delighted response to our efforts. And then feel deeply disappointed when we get anything but. So when Twitter user Danielle Candela recently shared how her friend’s son rejected his 21st birthday gift — a crocheted blanket that took her over 900 hours and $120 to craft — the story immediately split the internet.

The 68-year-old woman still working full-time felt hurt seeing her work taken for granted, but people online seemed to have mixed opinions. Read on to learn more about the incident and the reactions it received from readers. Then be sure to decide where you land on the matter and weigh in on the discussion in the comments!

After her friend’s son rejected a crochet gift blanket she made, this 68-year-old woman turned to Twitter to share her disappointment

Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

Image credits: DanielleCandela

Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

Image credits: DanielleCandela

Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

Image credits: DanielleCandela

Candela’s post caused quite a stir on Twitter with people jumping at the chance to share their opinions. Many people expressed support for the woman and felt deeply appalled by how her friend’s son handled the situation. Some readers offered kind words and even chimed in with their own experiences. And others said there’s always a risk that a person will reject the gift if you don’t ask about their preferences beforehand. And if the recipient is not a fan of crochet blankets, it simply won’t work for them.

Surprisingly, this thread gained so much attention that it spread to other platforms, too. It was picked up by a member of the ‘Crochet’ subreddit, stuckwitharmor, who shared the woman’s story with the community.

“Personally, I think if you make a gift, you make it with your own time, effort and motivation,” the user wrote. “The receiver is not obliged to love it just because you spent a long time and a lot of effort on it.”

Her post sparked a heated discussion about gift-giving online, where the vast majority of commenters were appalled by the young man’s entitlement

Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

It’s no secret that gift-giving can be a powerful tool in bringing two people together. But it can also drive them apart. So what exactly makes it such a tricky matter of business?

Whether it’s having doubts about what to get, not knowing the person well, or coming from completely different backgrounds — thinking of something special to give a particular person can often feel like navigating a minefield, to begin with.

And let’s not forget about the financial burden. Understandably, gifts are all about the thought, not the dollar amount. But as it turns out, people are so eager to celebrate birthdays and other celebrations that they’re ready to spend lavishly — and even go into debt.

A survey by online loan marketplace LendingTree questioned more than 1,000 US consumers about their spending on gifts. It found that 45% of participants admitted to paying more than they can afford because they wanted to impress the recipient. In fact, the survey revealed that spending on birthday gifts was the highest, and it even surpassed milestones like weddings and graduations.

Over half of consumers felt pressured to buy a birthday gift at some point. Another 39% reported typically paying between $100 and $499 for gifts for others’ celebrations in a year, while 18% said they tend to spend between $500 and $999.

Fellow knitters and crocheters also chimed in with similar experiences

Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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As you’ve noticed from Candela’s story and the support it received from the internet, seeing your gift getting rejected is upsetting. And this is especially true when the giver has spent a fair amount of time, money, and energy procuring it. But according to a blog post on Beezzly, etiquette rules agree on how to handle these situations. See, there is only one thing you can do when someone says “no, thank you” — to accept the return.

You should do it calmly, without confrontation, and without any argument. Naturally, your emotions may rise, but speaking in a gentle tone can go a long way. You may also ask the reason they are giving the item back, and if it all falls down to misunderstanding, you can try to ask them to reconsider it.

But if the person is still refusing, that should be the end. “There is no sense to push the person further. Just stay calm, say OK and move on. Think of the process of gift giving as something that is not about you or me, but as something that is about them.”

And some users said the receiver is not obliged to love the present, and called out the woman for forcing her craft on people

Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Woman Crochets A Blanket For 900 Hours As A Gift For Friend's Son, He Gives it Back To Her, The Internet Is Divided

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Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee.

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Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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What do you think ?

POST

Andy 2 years ago (edited)

Was going to comment on the friend, however then got to the comments (in the story) and more shocked by the basic lack of manners and spoiled attitude of a lot of these people. By all means you do not have to like a gift, but you smile, say thank you and then stick it in a drawer or cupboard until you have a clear out. To say that she was trying to manipulate people or that they were right to rudely reject it to make a point that she was wrong to give them that gift just come accross as awful, entitled people who have no regard for other people's feelings

98points

susan turer 2 years ago

Exactly, the blanket was not the only gift she gave him. So if he didn't like it just say thank you for gifts and give the one you do not like away. There is no reason to return a gift you do not like, just pass it on to a charity or something. My issue with many of the responses is that manners and kindness should not be forgotten and all right to give up on if you did not ask for or want something. It takes so little time to show and say thank you (especially to a friend or family member), then you are free to do as you will with the gifts.

25points

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Jeannette Peterson 2 years ago

I was taught growing up that a thing made by hand was more meaningful than buying something from the store. I also crochet and don't as a rule ask someone if they want a blanket or scarf or whatever other craft I make. I try to make something special and I believe that is all this woman was trying to do too. I made a crochet quilt for my parents with a big white square in the middle and two antique crocheted cars (a model T and a stage coach) which was going to be put in a frame with velvet behind it so everyone could see it. That never happened. They wouldn't use the blanket cuz they had dogs and didn't want hair to get into the yarn. It was put in a closet and forgot about. My sister makes blankets she has the sewing machine make pictures. I just went to see my parents before my dad passed away. My mother brought out all the blankets my sister made. I asked to see the crochet blanket that cost me over $200 to make and send. That hurt. My mom says I never make anything for her. Whatev

14points

2picklesinabun 2 years ago

Exactly. I blame parents these days for being lazy pieces of s**t who stick their kids on computers and phones instead of teaching them manners and respect.

13points

CatWoman312 2 years ago

I see what you’re saying and I do find the comment about it not being designer very rude, but the question I have is did he even want a blanket? I feel there needs to be more context because just deciding to make someone a blanket isn’t a good idea unless they specifically ask for one .

10points

ezPZ 2 years ago

If I feel that somebody's gift is wasted on me, I would give it back out of respect. I won't put somebody's effort/money in a cuboard to get rid off later, that's wastefull

5points

2picklesinabun 2 years ago

You're an a*****e ezPZ.

2points

Kendra Flores 2 years ago

Absolutely so true! Furthermore the person that said it was ugly! Wow your behavior is disgusting & you should be more than ashamed of yourself!!! It was actually a very beautiful blanket, with neutral colors that would go with any style of home decor.. Didn't stop him from taking the cash. And to me that makes the situation even worse. His mother should be ashamed of herself!! Ppl these days feel so entitled.. it's a shame!!

3points

Dorian 2 years ago

I agree with how it was returned. That was rude as heck. It was wrong. But I also believe the gift giver was out touch. I mean let's keep it real, gotta read the room. He's 21, wtf is a 21 yr old guy gonna want with a crochet blanket? Seriously? Get outta hea! Get that friggin guy a gift card, young guys love to eat a lot should've picked up a food gift card. Jus sayn gotta read the room...I have two son's , and they wouldn't want this crochet blanket either. They wouldn't say anything rude, just probably toss it. 21 yrs, Chipotle card, gas card, Xbox game card, etc.

0points

Jason Melvil 2 years ago

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MiriPanda 2 years ago

I fully understand the hurt and personally would have kept it in a heartbeat, but am I the only one to find a crocheted blanket a little strange gift for a 21 year old young man? 🤔 (I don't return gifts unless it's a size or duplicate issue as those can easily be fixed and don't hurt anybodys feelings).

56points

Nathan Wolfe 2 years ago

In winter, a crocheted blanket is a perfect supplement to any blanket. Adds weight, holds heat, but is breathable. I'm 29 and if someone gifted me a hand crocheted blanket, I'd likely break down and ball my eyes out. I haven't had one since my dog shredded the last one my great grandma made me before she passed.

60points

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Lisa H 2 years ago

I have to softly disagree with you. Fwiw, my SIL made me a blanket when I was 34 and I am so not the girliest girl out there. I was touched that she made it for me. I know it may be different since I'm a woman, but I think that no matter one's age or gender, a gift like this should always be shown appreciation and thanks. This woman showed love in the best way she knew how and this guy was simply too spoiled to see that. 21 is old enough to recognize the effort and he failed miserably.

22points

Candice Cook 2 years ago

I don't think it's weird. It's useful. I mean when I was that age and living on my own, I didn't have much to speak of in the way of blankets and other things that I had access to readily when I lived at home. I would've been thrilled to have something I didn't have to pay for and I know my brothers were the same. I have plenty of ugly blankets that I was gifted over the years. I don't display them in my home, but I definitely am glad to have them when I need them.

16points

Vira 2 years ago

I'm confused. Do young men not feel cold, or enjoy comfort? What does 21, or bring a guy, have to do with a blanket?

16points

L.V 2 years ago

Yeah I see what you mean. I love to make knitted gifts for babies or toddlers. But as they get older, ask what they want, so I know my gifts will be appreciated.

12points

Howaboutno 2 years ago

I think I get why it feels weird (usually when I hear about handmade blankets, I think of baby blankets), but it's a practical use gift, which is typically a good choice for an adult

5points

Beks Czar 2 years ago

No, you aren't. A blanket for a 21st birthday is an incredibly odd gift to give on the "I can finally drink" birthday, unless you knew he personally wanted a homemade blanket. Like I had a friend who made me a blanket for my 21st. It was a quilt of black and white squares with cut out circles and 8's to make (pool cue) 8-balls because I collect 8-ball memorabilia. It was the coolest. I don't use it as a blanket, it is in a tote but that's to keep it safe because it was one of the best birthday gifts I've ever received. But!!! 900 HOURS!!! Why. Just why. ---- That said, both the guy and his mother are complete assholes. And he's learning it from his shitty mother. Tough s**t that you don't like it. You thank them or send a thank you note and then put it in your closet.

2points

Selene doe 2 years ago

Idk, most men I know love anything someone makes for them, even if it's ugly, because guys never get genuine handmade gifts, and it makes them so happy. Actually have had several male friends tear up when I gifted them something because they just aren't used to it. But it's important to always ask what someone wants first.

0points

CatWoman312 2 years ago

Yes I find it weird too especially since it appears she didn’t ask if he wanted one.

-1point

rumade 2 years ago

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Deborah B 2 years ago

I craft. It's expensive and time consuming, and I do it for me. Other people are not obligated to like it, or want it. Putting 900 hours into a blanket and expecting someone else to value it as highly as you do is setting yourself up for disappointment. If you are going to do a gift for someone, FFS ask what they would like. Saying "I would love to crochet a blanket for your son, do you think he would like that? Is there something else he'd like better?" Would have been polite and sensible. He's 21 - it's more likely than not that this blanket is not to his taste, and he may even be uncomfortable that a woman his mom's age is giving him handcrafts that she spent 900 hours on.

53points

Joseph Miller 2 years ago

He should have just been a man and return it himself. He softer than that blanket he had his mommy return.

5points

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POST

Andy 2 years ago (edited)

98points

susan turer 2 years ago

25points

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Jeannette Peterson 2 years ago

14points

2picklesinabun 2 years ago

Exactly. I blame parents these days for being lazy pieces of s**t who stick their kids on computers and phones instead of teaching them manners and respect.

13points

CatWoman312 2 years ago

10points

ezPZ 2 years ago

If I feel that somebody's gift is wasted on me, I would give it back out of respect. I won't put somebody's effort/money in a cuboard to get rid off later, that's wastefull

5points

2picklesinabun 2 years ago

You're an a*****e ezPZ.

2points

Kendra Flores 2 years ago

3points

Dorian 2 years ago

0points

Jason Melvil 2 years ago

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MiriPanda 2 years ago

56points

Nathan Wolfe 2 years ago

60points

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Lisa H 2 years ago

22points

Candice Cook 2 years ago

16points

Vira 2 years ago

I'm confused. Do young men not feel cold, or enjoy comfort? What does 21, or bring a guy, have to do with a blanket?

16points

L.V 2 years ago

Yeah I see what you mean. I love to make knitted gifts for babies or toddlers. But as they get older, ask what they want, so I know my gifts will be appreciated.

12points

Howaboutno 2 years ago

I think I get why it feels weird (usually when I hear about handmade blankets, I think of baby blankets), but it's a practical use gift, which is typically a good choice for an adult

5points