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Woman Sparks A Discussion On Twitter After Smacking A Guy At A Club For Touching Her
Interview With Author
Nobody should be surprised when somebody who’s being assaulted defends themselves. 21-year-old Harriet Bowley from Sheffield in the United Kingdom sparked an important debate on Twitter after sharing what happened at a club she was at last week. Harriet explained how she “smacked a lad” after he sexually assaulted her. The kicker? She said that he had the gall to look “genuinely furious and shocked.”
Harriet urged others to normalize women standing up for themselves when harassed by complete strangers. A lot of people stood up for her and some women shared their own stories about shutting down unwanted advances and groping. Unfortunately, there were also some Twitter users who resorted to victim-blaming and who thought that Harriet was (somehow) in the wrong here.
Have a read through the woman’s thread and let us know what you think about the situation, dear Readers. Do you have any similar experiences that you’d like to talk about? Do you have any ideas on how to prevent people from groping others in clubs? Share your thoughts in the comment section.
Bored Panda spoke to Harriet via Twitter about what happened and why some people tend to blame the victims. “I’m glad it’s started a conversation and encouraged other women and men to talk about their own experiences when they might’ve not felt like they had a voice before,” she told me. Read on for the full interview below, dear Pandas.
More info: Twitter | Instagram
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Harriet shared how she stood up for herself at a club after a stranger sexually assaulted her
Image credits: harribowley
She started up an important discussion about the importance of normalizing women defending themselves
Image credits: harribowley
Image credits: harribowley
Image credits: harribowley
Image credits: harribowley
Harriet noted that we should focus on what matters—fighting harassment and assault—instead of blaming the victims. “I think victim-blaming is a huge problem that still needs tackling. The argument ‘what were you wearing’ is very outdated, but, unfortunately, is still used today,” she said.
“Even though I specified I was wearing a large baggy jumper around my waist, I’ve still seen a couple of those comments. Everyone should understand that clothes do not equal consent—the men making these comments don’t stop themselves wearing shorts or being topless on a hot day out of fear they will be sexually assaulted, so why should women be conscious of their own clothes? The problem is not what victims wear—it’s about the people sexually assaulting.”
Harriet’s Twitter thread went viral and got 24.1k likes and nearly 2k retweets. She even pointed out that she was wearing a massive sweater around her waist and wasn’t wearing anything ‘revealing,’ but that didn’t stop some victim-blamers from having a go at her. Meanwhile, some other Twitter users didn’t get the point of the thread and tried to find a way to make her into the villain of the story.
Instead of showing support, some Twitter users started victim-blaming Harriet
Image credits: harribowley
Image credits: harribowley
Something that can help victims of assault and harassment rebuild their sense of safety is community. That’s what Emily May, the Executive Director at ‘Hollaback!’, an organization that aims to end harassment in all its forms, told Bored Panda during a previous interview.
“Take the time to get to know the good folks in your neighborhood and build positive relationships with not just your neighbors, but the people who deliver the mail, the trash folks, the guy that mows your neighbor’s lawn, etc.,” she noted that the more people you can trust, the safer you’re bound to feel.
“The more people you know, the more people will have your back if something happens again. Knowing this can increase your sense of safety and belonging in your community.”
According to May from ‘Hollaback!’, harassment can happen anywhere. In the street, at your local supermarket, on social media. And, yes, at clubs, too.
“At its core is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups of our vulnerability to assault in public spaces. Street harassment can happen to anyone, but disproportionately punishes women, girls, LGBTQ+ people, and other marginalized groups for being themselves in the world,” she said.
Meanwhile, others shared what steps they took to protect themselves from harassers and gropers
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People thought that the guy in the club definitely deserved to get smacked for his actions
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What do you think ?
Biljana Malesevic 3 years ago
I don't even need to read all this. Whatever she was wearing, believe me, she was NOT "asking for it". Some men will try any, any excuse to grope woman or sexually assault her, their favorite excuse is "she was wearing revealing clothes" which is BS! As someone who was assaulted as a child because I had some curves, which is just the way I was growing into puberty, I honestly and truly think there is no excuse for assault, ever! I don't care what she was wearing, you don't touch. Period.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Just imagine someone walks past you in a dress covered in diamonds and gold, you grab a handful of each and when the person complains that those are THEIR diamonds and gold and you are stealing, you reply "you asked for it by wearing all those diamonds and gold".
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CatWoman312 3 years ago
I honestly don’t understand why it’s so hard to grasp that you don’t go around touching strangers without consent. No she isn’t asking for it 🤦🏻♀️
denzoren 3 years ago
100points for standing up for yourself! -100points to him for being the type of man no one wants around. I've never understood this behavior from these guys, it's so disgusting. Hit back...call them out on their crap...us guys need to call them out on their behavior too. It isn't right. Women need to feel comfortable when men are around not constantly afraid.
Birgit M 3 years ago
Not a „Same here“ today, but (another) „Thank you!“ It‘s always so good to hear from supportive men!
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Roger Haywood 3 years ago
Ladies, please correct me if I'm wrong. When a woman dresses to go out, it does not matter what she wears. If she wants to dress to feel sexy, if she wants to dress all suited up, or even jeans and tea shirt. She dresses this way for her benefit, and no one else's. It is not an invitation to touch, or chat up, or glare at. You can look, but don't touch or say anything degrading. Any guy (Or girl) that touches without permission, does'nt just deserve a slap, they should be roughed up by the doormen too.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
I wish every woman would just slap or headbutt every man who ever did that. They would all learn to stop doing this crap.
Tedus 3 years ago
i always wonder about this "dont wear revealing outfit" bs. Where i live its normal to be naked in the sauna. According to that logic every man should be losing control there. Men thinking (and acting) like that are turds.
Otter 3 years ago
A gay man wrote an essay about that. He said that if he can control himself in the locker room surrounded by naked objects of his desire, straight men should be able to control themselves around clothed women!
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Amy Dodds 3 years ago
The last guy to grope me in a bar didn't expect me to be armed with an umbrella. You can bet I beat him with the butt-end of that thing all through the bar, up the stairs and through the car park until he ran off into the night.
MoMcB 3 years ago
I had one come up behind me and put his hand between my legs basically groping everything. I was wearing steel tipped stilettos and kicked him hard.
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Lila Wells 3 years ago
I have a story! I remember my 7th grade art teacher once told me a story that will always stick with me. Our class was getting into a debate on how sexist dress code was, so our art teacher told us about how when she was in 8th grade, a man drive up to her (when she was walking home) and shoved her into his car. (Note that my teacher has lots of curves and also had them when she was in 8th). She broke his nose with a punch to the face while he tried to rip open her shirt. Thankfully, the car door was still unlocked so she dived out of the car, which gave her a concussion. The man escaped. Later, he was caught driving around her middle school and she identified the car to the teachers. The man was arrested and taken to court, where he revealed he planned to rape and kill her. When my poor teacher returned to school, apparently the boys MOCKED her. She was faced with a bunch of sexist remarks about how they could understand how the guy "couldnt resist". This happened IN 8TH GRADE!
bonnyatlast 3 years ago
I know this post is about clubs but stuff like this happened to me in school. In 7th grade. Not kidding. There were a few guys that would try to put their hand up my skirt when I walked by. My knee jerk reaction was to deck them. I was in music class one time and a guy tried and I swung back hard. He ducked and my hand hit the wall loud. Teacher did nothing. I soon found out one of the girls in the back row was letting him full finger her in class. He didn't bother me after I swung at him. Similar stuff happened to my son in high school. Girls would grab his butt going down a crowded hallway. They would give him expensive presents hoping he would be their boyfriend. It was nuts.
Bisexual Tiger 3 years ago
I hope you taught your son not to accept that it and to find a person who he truly loves!
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Nicole Blomkamp 3 years ago
I've lost count of how many slaps I've given. And 90% of them looked infuriated and acted like they didn't deserve it. One of them even threw his drink in my face in retaliation. Was standing talking to another guy , who when I looked to for support, just shrugged and said " I don't want to get involved". So yep- I'm pretty jaded when it comes to most men , sadly.
InfectedVoice 3 years ago
Any guy saying that "shouldn't dress like that" s**t now, I think I may have seen it here even, I quote the "so if I see you walking down the street without head protection on, I can smash your skull in with a bat and say you should've covered your head, what did you expect? F****n bullshit, and fair play to the lass, she should've kicked him as hard as she could in the balls.
Michael Jenkins 3 years ago
I have been around a woman wearing nothing more than a T-shirt, in her bedroom. I've been on a walk with a lady, at night, and then went back to her dorm room. I've been around a lady who came out of a shower wearing nothing more than a towel...and these are just three examples. NONE OF THEM MEAN ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY NOT THE INSULTING IDEA THAT THEY WERE "ASKING TO BE ASSAULTED/RAPED/HARASSED/WHATEVER BS YOU CAN MANUFACTURE!!
KombatBunni 3 years ago
Ask them if they’d like to find out how much pressure it would take to break their balls, literally. And if they say no then tell them well sweetie I didn’t ask to be groped either. I hate men (or women, let’s be fair here) who think they can do this to people and expect to get away with it. If you ignore it or defend it then you are the reason why it keeps happening. So I say to you, give me one very good reason why, no bullshit excuses or justifications. I see someone do this I’ll break your hands.
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Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
If you think a woman is "asking for it" by the way she's dressed, you're admitting that you view women only as objects for your personal enjoyment. It's exactly like you drooling over a Lamborghini, but scoffing at a Civic. Exactly.
OhForSmegSake 3 years ago
I was swimming at a nude beach and got rolled by a wave. I was laying naked in the shallows, dizzy and covered with sand, when a man ran up and offered his hand. He helped me up, made sure I was steady and saw me back to my towel without groping me, just touching my elbow or shoulder. I've also been violently sexually assaulted twice. Once while wearing flannel men's PJs and once while wearing a tshirt and jeans. It's not about what you're wearing (or not wearing), it's about the predator and what they think they can get away with.
Mystery Egg 3 years ago
It's the shock when the women retaliate that gets me. How are these men being raised that they think it's their right to assault someone but are genuinely shocked when someone defends themselves from their physical assault. It leaves me speechless
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
I had a "friend" who used to flash me in front of our group whenever we were out in the bars together. No one said anything because he was the harmless clown everyone loved. When it was his birthday outing, I gave him a pinhole camera I made myself. He asked what it was, to which I replied "It's a pinhole camera for your pin-sized d**k." I wish I had an actual camera to record his face for prosperity. He never did it again.
Never Stop Twinkling™ 3 years ago
Sometimes I really do wonder if consent is really that hard for certain people to understand than rocket science. 🚀
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
Men KNOW that it's wrong, they do it because they think they can get away with it or because they feel entitled to do whatever they want to women. It will not stop until there are actual consequences for them.
Karen Carroll 3 years ago
She is an attractive woman. What she wears is her business. And she should be proud of taking care of her gift of beauty and to be able to show off her hard work and discipline. Guys who touch without consent deserve to be removed from the premises and nothing more. And not allowed back. The bar/club/whatever should be safe places for females to gather. Not have to be constantly on the watch for groper or guys copping a feel.
Meghna Mohan 3 years ago (edited)
I was following my friends into a bus, on the way to my college. Out of nowhere a guy just grabs hold of my breast. I had a heavy binder in my hand and he got a taste of how heavy where his urges stem from! I also gave him a earful and around us people watched and kept quiet, no one did a thing.One man, another day, another bus, tries to feel me up with his wife sitting next to me. I made it loud and abundantly clear what a creep he was and what he was doing. She gave him the death stare. I'm sure hell followed. No one did anything in both instances.
Melissa TO 3 years ago
A woman could be topless and it's still not OK to touch without consent!!!
Laura Catania 3 years ago
This is essentially how my parents met. Mom smacked a guy for getting handsy (as they used to say) after which her friends abandoned her so she went to a bouncer for help. (Thought he was tall and intimidating...he was standing on a box) The bouncer was my dad. They have been married over 50 years. Anyway this crap has been happening for freaking ever and you'd think men would know better by now. There is no damned excuse
SilverSkyCloud 2 years ago
an 18 month old baby died after she was raped, are people going to start blaming the brand of nappies the poor baby was wearing, yes i said PEOPLE because some women also have a "dress appropriately and it wont happen" mindset too
Deborah Hale 3 years ago
Many years ago I was working by myself in a bookstore, and one of my husband's shipmates came in, asked if he could use the bathroom. Normally I'm not allowed, but I recognized the dude, guys came over at least 2-3 times a week and I'd cook for whoever was at the apartment, so I figured I'd be nice and let him use the employee's bathroom. Well, 15 minutes pass and he hasn't come out, so I go knock on the door and he's not answering. I manage to push my way in and he's passed out on the floor. As I'm trying to get him to his feet he wakes up and...grabs my boobs. Both hands, twisting like he's trying to tune in Radio Free Europe or something. Now, I'd had some karate lessons, not a whole lot but they taught me how to punch, so I punched him in the throat. He fell to the floor again and starts crawling away. I had NEVER hit anyone before, but those karate classes had obviously sunk in because I didn't even think first, I just punched. Oh, and I was in MATERNITY CLOTHING.
Dave 3 years ago
Guys who pull this s**t are not men. Full stop. Moreover, they are very likely borderline Narcissistic insecure f***s or even Psychopaths and they genuinely cannot understand when confronted about their bullshit. I dealt with enough of f*****s like this when I was a bouncer in Dublin. I hated my job, but putting these assholes in their place, and throwing them violently out of the club was obscenely pleasurable.
geometric_dolphin 3 years ago
He deserved it. I was once AT SCHOOL (age 12) and a boy (who has done things to several other people and is not particularly liked) said I had a nice ass. He then would not move out of my way. Let's just say I punched him in the chest really hard and he ended up on the floor with dead silence all around. Then still asked what was that for😆
Damo Lee Park 3 years ago
You're not even allowed to touch the girls at most strip clubs, and they're shaking their a**e and twat inches from your face. So there goes the "she was dressed for it" excuse.
Pheebs 3 years ago
I mean I literally shoulder punched a guy who invaded my space to catch beads at Universal Studios (plastered to my back, hit me on the head, and grabbed beads out of my hands and someone next to me). I’d definitely do the same or worse if they touched me on purpose, without permission. Level of force dependent on severity of touch.
Casey McAlister 3 years ago
When I was at high school, one guy decided it would be hilarious to hide around the corner and jump at me while I was passing by. My initial reaction was to kick him. Apparently, he didn't enjoy being kicked in the balls.
Kantami Blossom 2 years ago
It's high time women started wearing hatpins and bring back the days of the petticoated swashbucklers(still the greatest term I've ever heard), a lassie can be wearing a hundred layers of clothing or nothing at all but unless she expresses her wishes for you to touch her you have no right to do so and anything that happens to you for doing so without permission is on you.
Marc Wilson 2 years ago
Happened to my daughter in a club a couple of years back at New Year. A lad grabbed her and she put him on his a**e Club policy meant that anyone involved in a fight got ejected (which is poor, IMO), but she said it was worth it.
Awsomemom52 2 years ago
25 year old me, was standing at the bar in a club, when guy grabbed my butt. He didn't just have his hand on my butt... he grabbed it and came pretty far "forward". He commented his doings with the words: Wow... I really have something to grab. I reached back... right into his crotch and squeezed... with full force and long fingernails. As he got on his knees, whimpering... I said: Hhm, unfortunately I can't return your disgusting "compliment"... and now f**k off, you wimp!
Nora AlMeida 3 years ago (edited)
Males that touch a woman or girl anywhere without her consent are the same type of males that r**e. That’s why the sick male that assaulted the woman and she hit him in response got angry with her; he has the mindset of a r*pst. It’s been proven that r*pists don’t start with r*pe— usually it is the disrespectful, dehumanizing attitude of the sick male (and he is sick for touching someone without the woman’s consent) towards women and girls (which can involve verbal assault, touching, etc) is what the sick male starts with, so when a male is touching a woman or a girl without her consent, he is already escalating in his r*pist behavior and unless he’s locked up for his current transgression, then he is likely to start r*ping (remember, r*pe is quite pervasive).
Bex 3 years ago
My sis and I were at a concert & the drunk guy behind me kept "accidentally" tipping forward and catching himself but reaching around me to grab my breasts. Told him to stop, 2nd time told him if he did it again, he'd be sorry, 3rd time I shoved him backwards so hard he fell over his seat into the row behind him. The 2 women he was w got pissed at me, one grabbed my arm, so my sister grabbed hers. 2nd woman grabs my sisters arm so I said f*ck this and punched the b*tch right in the face, gave her a bloody nose. The other women ran to get security to have us thrown out, but everyone around us saw what happened so the three of them were thrown out instead. Plain and simple, Idc if you're a man or a woman, you do not put your hands on me or my sister.
Julie Johnson 3 years ago
This behaviour by men has been happening for years. My mum is in her late 80s now (& has never been one for taking any nonsense from anyone) but when she was about 16 she was in the cinema with a friend and the man sat behind her kept reaching through the gap in the seat and touching her backside. So she took out her hat pin and jabbed it in his hand. 😂. He didn’t do it again. 😂
Franc Esca 3 years ago
Everytime it's the right reaction. Too bad these dudes are scary and many have no issue really sending you to the hospital or getting 5their revenge "later"
pusheen buttercup 3 years ago
Self defense. Also on the clothes- touching without consent is crossing a line.
Jerry Mathers 3 years ago
Maybe the way to frame the explanation to the guys that blame how you're dressed is "so you are saying you would be cool if an 400 lb man missing 1 eye and all but 3 of his teeth grabbed your junk because you turned him on by the way you were dressed"? Maybe it sinks in that way.
Holly Stevens 3 years ago
I remember I was out once at a club and this guy was dancing with me and BIT me in my shoulder. I had a big black bruise for weeks
AA Matty 3 years ago (edited)
Should you randomly hit guys because of your feelings, no. Is it fine to hit a guy if he gropes you, especially on places on your body that are covered by bathing suits. Absolutely. If the sole reason is that he thinks you are attractive & you are scantily clad, & not because you and him are heavily flirting and dancing together, then knee him in the groin. That is a thing about the male gaze that some male's don't understand. You are only allowed to gaze unless she gives you consent to go further.
Helenium 3 years ago
ignore me i didnt read it properly yeah she was right to smack him id have layed him out too
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Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
I learned not to immediately jump to violence when I was groped, because the people around definitely didn't notice the groping and would only see me getting angry and violent for no obvious reason (and groper gets to play the victim). It's much more effective to turn and push his hands away and VERY loudly shout "Stop touching me! Never touch me!" Then EVERYONE looks and knows.
Aradia Sayner 3 years ago
I did live in the 80's and it wasn't acceptable then and it isn't acceptable now. The only difference is that women are now starting to understand that it should not be a "normal" part of one's journey as a woman and are now starting to get loud about it. This pleases me.
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Philip Devine 3 years ago
Hey look everyone, trolls aren't just fairytale myths! And it's so ugly it's appropriately named 'Don't Look' :D
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Aunt Messy 3 years ago
They deserve to be attacked for going dancing? Don't be an asshole, Trissie.
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Monika Rhodes 3 years ago
If that's what you think- you're part of the problem!
Load More Replies... Biljana Malesevic 3 years ago
I don't even need to read all this. Whatever she was wearing, believe me, she was NOT "asking for it". Some men will try any, any excuse to grope woman or sexually assault her, their favorite excuse is "she was wearing revealing clothes" which is BS! As someone who was assaulted as a child because I had some curves, which is just the way I was growing into puberty, I honestly and truly think there is no excuse for assault, ever! I don't care what she was wearing, you don't touch. Period.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Just imagine someone walks past you in a dress covered in diamonds and gold, you grab a handful of each and when the person complains that those are THEIR diamonds and gold and you are stealing, you reply "you asked for it by wearing all those diamonds and gold".
Load More Replies... CatWoman312 3 years ago
I honestly don’t understand why it’s so hard to grasp that you don’t go around touching strangers without consent. No she isn’t asking for it 🤦🏻♀️
denzoren 3 years ago
100points for standing up for yourself! -100points to him for being the type of man no one wants around. I've never understood this behavior from these guys, it's so disgusting. Hit back...call them out on their crap...us guys need to call them out on their behavior too. It isn't right. Women need to feel comfortable when men are around not constantly afraid.
Birgit M 3 years ago
Not a „Same here“ today, but (another) „Thank you!“ It‘s always so good to hear from supportive men!
Load More Replies... Roger Haywood 3 years ago
Ladies, please correct me if I'm wrong. When a woman dresses to go out, it does not matter what she wears. If she wants to dress to feel sexy, if she wants to dress all suited up, or even jeans and tea shirt. She dresses this way for her benefit, and no one else's. It is not an invitation to touch, or chat up, or glare at. You can look, but don't touch or say anything degrading. Any guy (Or girl) that touches without permission, does'nt just deserve a slap, they should be roughed up by the doormen too.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
I wish every woman would just slap or headbutt every man who ever did that. They would all learn to stop doing this crap.
Tedus 3 years ago
i always wonder about this "dont wear revealing outfit" bs. Where i live its normal to be naked in the sauna. According to that logic every man should be losing control there. Men thinking (and acting) like that are turds.
Otter 3 years ago
A gay man wrote an essay about that. He said that if he can control himself in the locker room surrounded by naked objects of his desire, straight men should be able to control themselves around clothed women!
Load More Replies... Amy Dodds 3 years ago
The last guy to grope me in a bar didn't expect me to be armed with an umbrella. You can bet I beat him with the butt-end of that thing all through the bar, up the stairs and through the car park until he ran off into the night.
MoMcB 3 years ago
I had one come up behind me and put his hand between my legs basically groping everything. I was wearing steel tipped stilettos and kicked him hard.
Load More Replies... Lila Wells 3 years ago
I have a story! I remember my 7th grade art teacher once told me a story that will always stick with me. Our class was getting into a debate on how sexist dress code was, so our art teacher told us about how when she was in 8th grade, a man drive up to her (when she was walking home) and shoved her into his car. (Note that my teacher has lots of curves and also had them when she was in 8th). She broke his nose with a punch to the face while he tried to rip open her shirt. Thankfully, the car door was still unlocked so she dived out of the car, which gave her a concussion. The man escaped. Later, he was caught driving around her middle school and she identified the car to the teachers. The man was arrested and taken to court, where he revealed he planned to rape and kill her. When my poor teacher returned to school, apparently the boys MOCKED her. She was faced with a bunch of sexist remarks about how they could understand how the guy "couldnt resist". This happened IN 8TH GRADE!
bonnyatlast 3 years ago
I know this post is about clubs but stuff like this happened to me in school. In 7th grade. Not kidding. There were a few guys that would try to put their hand up my skirt when I walked by. My knee jerk reaction was to deck them. I was in music class one time and a guy tried and I swung back hard. He ducked and my hand hit the wall loud. Teacher did nothing. I soon found out one of the girls in the back row was letting him full finger her in class. He didn't bother me after I swung at him. Similar stuff happened to my son in high school. Girls would grab his butt going down a crowded hallway. They would give him expensive presents hoping he would be their boyfriend. It was nuts.
Bisexual Tiger 3 years ago
I hope you taught your son not to accept that it and to find a person who he truly loves!
Load More Replies... Nicole Blomkamp 3 years ago
I've lost count of how many slaps I've given. And 90% of them looked infuriated and acted like they didn't deserve it. One of them even threw his drink in my face in retaliation. Was standing talking to another guy , who when I looked to for support, just shrugged and said " I don't want to get involved". So yep- I'm pretty jaded when it comes to most men , sadly.
InfectedVoice 3 years ago
Any guy saying that "shouldn't dress like that" s**t now, I think I may have seen it here even, I quote the "so if I see you walking down the street without head protection on, I can smash your skull in with a bat and say you should've covered your head, what did you expect? F****n bullshit, and fair play to the lass, she should've kicked him as hard as she could in the balls.
Michael Jenkins 3 years ago
I have been around a woman wearing nothing more than a T-shirt, in her bedroom. I've been on a walk with a lady, at night, and then went back to her dorm room. I've been around a lady who came out of a shower wearing nothing more than a towel...and these are just three examples. NONE OF THEM MEAN ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY NOT THE INSULTING IDEA THAT THEY WERE "ASKING TO BE ASSAULTED/RAPED/HARASSED/WHATEVER BS YOU CAN MANUFACTURE!!
KombatBunni 3 years ago
Ask them if they’d like to find out how much pressure it would take to break their balls, literally. And if they say no then tell them well sweetie I didn’t ask to be groped either. I hate men (or women, let’s be fair here) who think they can do this to people and expect to get away with it. If you ignore it or defend it then you are the reason why it keeps happening. So I say to you, give me one very good reason why, no bullshit excuses or justifications. I see someone do this I’ll break your hands.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
If you think a woman is "asking for it" by the way she's dressed, you're admitting that you view women only as objects for your personal enjoyment. It's exactly like you drooling over a Lamborghini, but scoffing at a Civic. Exactly.
OhForSmegSake 3 years ago
I was swimming at a nude beach and got rolled by a wave. I was laying naked in the shallows, dizzy and covered with sand, when a man ran up and offered his hand. He helped me up, made sure I was steady and saw me back to my towel without groping me, just touching my elbow or shoulder. I've also been violently sexually assaulted twice. Once while wearing flannel men's PJs and once while wearing a tshirt and jeans. It's not about what you're wearing (or not wearing), it's about the predator and what they think they can get away with.
Mystery Egg 3 years ago
It's the shock when the women retaliate that gets me. How are these men being raised that they think it's their right to assault someone but are genuinely shocked when someone defends themselves from their physical assault. It leaves me speechless
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
I had a "friend" who used to flash me in front of our group whenever we were out in the bars together. No one said anything because he was the harmless clown everyone loved. When it was his birthday outing, I gave him a pinhole camera I made myself. He asked what it was, to which I replied "It's a pinhole camera for your pin-sized d**k." I wish I had an actual camera to record his face for prosperity. He never did it again.
Never Stop Twinkling™ 3 years ago
Sometimes I really do wonder if consent is really that hard for certain people to understand than rocket science. 🚀
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
Men KNOW that it's wrong, they do it because they think they can get away with it or because they feel entitled to do whatever they want to women. It will not stop until there are actual consequences for them.
Karen Carroll 3 years ago
She is an attractive woman. What she wears is her business. And she should be proud of taking care of her gift of beauty and to be able to show off her hard work and discipline. Guys who touch without consent deserve to be removed from the premises and nothing more. And not allowed back. The bar/club/whatever should be safe places for females to gather. Not have to be constantly on the watch for groper or guys copping a feel.
Meghna Mohan 3 years ago (edited)
I was following my friends into a bus, on the way to my college. Out of nowhere a guy just grabs hold of my breast. I had a heavy binder in my hand and he got a taste of how heavy where his urges stem from! I also gave him a earful and around us people watched and kept quiet, no one did a thing.One man, another day, another bus, tries to feel me up with his wife sitting next to me. I made it loud and abundantly clear what a creep he was and what he was doing. She gave him the death stare. I'm sure hell followed. No one did anything in both instances.
Melissa TO 3 years ago
A woman could be topless and it's still not OK to touch without consent!!!
Laura Catania 3 years ago
This is essentially how my parents met. Mom smacked a guy for getting handsy (as they used to say) after which her friends abandoned her so she went to a bouncer for help. (Thought he was tall and intimidating...he was standing on a box) The bouncer was my dad. They have been married over 50 years. Anyway this crap has been happening for freaking ever and you'd think men would know better by now. There is no damned excuse
SilverSkyCloud 2 years ago
an 18 month old baby died after she was raped, are people going to start blaming the brand of nappies the poor baby was wearing, yes i said PEOPLE because some women also have a "dress appropriately and it wont happen" mindset too
Deborah Hale 3 years ago
Many years ago I was working by myself in a bookstore, and one of my husband's shipmates came in, asked if he could use the bathroom. Normally I'm not allowed, but I recognized the dude, guys came over at least 2-3 times a week and I'd cook for whoever was at the apartment, so I figured I'd be nice and let him use the employee's bathroom. Well, 15 minutes pass and he hasn't come out, so I go knock on the door and he's not answering. I manage to push my way in and he's passed out on the floor. As I'm trying to get him to his feet he wakes up and...grabs my boobs. Both hands, twisting like he's trying to tune in Radio Free Europe or something. Now, I'd had some karate lessons, not a whole lot but they taught me how to punch, so I punched him in the throat. He fell to the floor again and starts crawling away. I had NEVER hit anyone before, but those karate classes had obviously sunk in because I didn't even think first, I just punched. Oh, and I was in MATERNITY CLOTHING.
Dave 3 years ago
Guys who pull this s**t are not men. Full stop. Moreover, they are very likely borderline Narcissistic insecure f***s or even Psychopaths and they genuinely cannot understand when confronted about their bullshit. I dealt with enough of f*****s like this when I was a bouncer in Dublin. I hated my job, but putting these assholes in their place, and throwing them violently out of the club was obscenely pleasurable.
geometric_dolphin 3 years ago
He deserved it. I was once AT SCHOOL (age 12) and a boy (who has done things to several other people and is not particularly liked) said I had a nice ass. He then would not move out of my way. Let's just say I punched him in the chest really hard and he ended up on the floor with dead silence all around. Then still asked what was that for😆
Damo Lee Park 3 years ago
You're not even allowed to touch the girls at most strip clubs, and they're shaking their a**e and twat inches from your face. So there goes the "she was dressed for it" excuse.
Pheebs 3 years ago
I mean I literally shoulder punched a guy who invaded my space to catch beads at Universal Studios (plastered to my back, hit me on the head, and grabbed beads out of my hands and someone next to me). I’d definitely do the same or worse if they touched me on purpose, without permission. Level of force dependent on severity of touch.
Casey McAlister 3 years ago
When I was at high school, one guy decided it would be hilarious to hide around the corner and jump at me while I was passing by. My initial reaction was to kick him. Apparently, he didn't enjoy being kicked in the balls.
Kantami Blossom 2 years ago
It's high time women started wearing hatpins and bring back the days of the petticoated swashbucklers(still the greatest term I've ever heard), a lassie can be wearing a hundred layers of clothing or nothing at all but unless she expresses her wishes for you to touch her you have no right to do so and anything that happens to you for doing so without permission is on you.
Marc Wilson 2 years ago
Happened to my daughter in a club a couple of years back at New Year. A lad grabbed her and she put him on his a**e Club policy meant that anyone involved in a fight got ejected (which is poor, IMO), but she said it was worth it.
Awsomemom52 2 years ago
25 year old me, was standing at the bar in a club, when guy grabbed my butt. He didn't just have his hand on my butt... he grabbed it and came pretty far "forward". He commented his doings with the words: Wow... I really have something to grab. I reached back... right into his crotch and squeezed... with full force and long fingernails. As he got on his knees, whimpering... I said: Hhm, unfortunately I can't return your disgusting "compliment"... and now f**k off, you wimp!
Nora AlMeida 3 years ago (edited)
Males that touch a woman or girl anywhere without her consent are the same type of males that r**e. That’s why the sick male that assaulted the woman and she hit him in response got angry with her; he has the mindset of a r*pst. It’s been proven that r*pists don’t start with r*pe— usually it is the disrespectful, dehumanizing attitude of the sick male (and he is sick for touching someone without the woman’s consent) towards women and girls (which can involve verbal assault, touching, etc) is what the sick male starts with, so when a male is touching a woman or a girl without her consent, he is already escalating in his r*pist behavior and unless he’s locked up for his current transgression, then he is likely to start r*ping (remember, r*pe is quite pervasive).
Bex 3 years ago
My sis and I were at a concert & the drunk guy behind me kept "accidentally" tipping forward and catching himself but reaching around me to grab my breasts. Told him to stop, 2nd time told him if he did it again, he'd be sorry, 3rd time I shoved him backwards so hard he fell over his seat into the row behind him. The 2 women he was w got pissed at me, one grabbed my arm, so my sister grabbed hers. 2nd woman grabs my sisters arm so I said f*ck this and punched the b*tch right in the face, gave her a bloody nose. The other women ran to get security to have us thrown out, but everyone around us saw what happened so the three of them were thrown out instead. Plain and simple, Idc if you're a man or a woman, you do not put your hands on me or my sister.
Julie Johnson 3 years ago
This behaviour by men has been happening for years. My mum is in her late 80s now (& has never been one for taking any nonsense from anyone) but when she was about 16 she was in the cinema with a friend and the man sat behind her kept reaching through the gap in the seat and touching her backside. So she took out her hat pin and jabbed it in his hand. 😂. He didn’t do it again. 😂
Franc Esca 3 years ago
Everytime it's the right reaction. Too bad these dudes are scary and many have no issue really sending you to the hospital or getting 5their revenge "later"
pusheen buttercup 3 years ago
Self defense. Also on the clothes- touching without consent is crossing a line.
Jerry Mathers 3 years ago
Maybe the way to frame the explanation to the guys that blame how you're dressed is "so you are saying you would be cool if an 400 lb man missing 1 eye and all but 3 of his teeth grabbed your junk because you turned him on by the way you were dressed"? Maybe it sinks in that way.
Holly Stevens 3 years ago
I remember I was out once at a club and this guy was dancing with me and BIT me in my shoulder. I had a big black bruise for weeks
AA Matty 3 years ago (edited)
Should you randomly hit guys because of your feelings, no. Is it fine to hit a guy if he gropes you, especially on places on your body that are covered by bathing suits. Absolutely. If the sole reason is that he thinks you are attractive & you are scantily clad, & not because you and him are heavily flirting and dancing together, then knee him in the groin. That is a thing about the male gaze that some male's don't understand. You are only allowed to gaze unless she gives you consent to go further.
Helenium 3 years ago
ignore me i didnt read it properly yeah she was right to smack him id have layed him out too
Load More Replies... Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
I learned not to immediately jump to violence when I was groped, because the people around definitely didn't notice the groping and would only see me getting angry and violent for no obvious reason (and groper gets to play the victim). It's much more effective to turn and push his hands away and VERY loudly shout "Stop touching me! Never touch me!" Then EVERYONE looks and knows.
Aradia Sayner 3 years ago
I did live in the 80's and it wasn't acceptable then and it isn't acceptable now. The only difference is that women are now starting to understand that it should not be a "normal" part of one's journey as a woman and are now starting to get loud about it. This pleases me.
Load More Replies... Philip Devine 3 years ago
Hey look everyone, trolls aren't just fairytale myths! And it's so ugly it's appropriately named 'Don't Look' :D
Load More Replies... Aunt Messy 3 years ago
They deserve to be attacked for going dancing? Don't be an asshole, Trissie.
Load More Replies... Monika Rhodes 3 years ago
If that's what you think- you're part of the problem!
Load More Replies...
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