To all the people saying it is rude to invite a person without asking first need to reread the entire story slowly. No one was invited without asking! No where in the story does it suggest that even happened. The whole point of the story was asking for the invite. This story would have been about the Mother showing up to the Christmas party uninvited if that had happened. How did people miss the entire point of the story?

I just lost my dad this year and for Thanksgiving my brother's wife's family invited my mom and I to their house...and my sis-in law's sister invited us to her house for Xmas day! That's what family does!!!

We've had Christmas at my cousins for decades, and there is often someone included that several of us have never met but they didn't have anywhere else to go. And it has made our lives richer for being kind that way. Some of them still come often, some we never see again. But it is one meal on one day, and we are happy to share it.

In my family, everyone is invited. It's so weird to actively try to leave someone out on a holiday. As long as you can handle the noise level, come on in the door. We just need a head count before we buy food.

Good heavens... it's one extra person that they all know (maybe not know well, but they're not strangers), it really shouldn't be an issue. Yowzers, not much empathy from the in-laws, is there??

My parents had the big house, so every Christmas or Christmas eve, we'd have both sides of the family over! Thus, the YTA about not wanting to get to know the daughter's partners family is wild!!! Sure, your kid married someone, but you have no desire to meet or get to know their family? What happens when they have kids (aka grandkids)? That person will probably make them choose... that's sad.

Easy solution, spend the day with your mother.

Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

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I hope OP's hubs has her back + has a discussion with his mom why he + OP will not be at MIL's X-mas dinner, party, whatever.

What a horrible, insensitive, cruel person MIL is. & She obviously has no idea what the meaning & spirit of Christmas are. I'm only now reading this on Christmas Day, & I know you made sure your mother wasn't alone. My FIL died abt 15 months ago & we spent both last Christmas - Eve & Day - & this Christmas with my 93-year-old MIL. Boy, it's hard seeing 3 chairs at the table instead of 4. We try to steer the conversation around to some of our happy memories of holidays past, some are silly things. And, in retrospect, a lot had become family traditions. We'd start out with the nice s & p shakers then FIL would say the holes were too small & he couldn't shake anything out. So somebody would get up, go to the kitchen, & come back with the box of Morton's salt & the tin of pepper & put it on the formally laid table. & MIL has always made a very sweet, sweet potato casserole that's about equal parts sweet potatoes, cream, & sugar, with a brown sugar & butter crispy topping. Invariably MIL would say, "Jack, you didn't get any sweet potatoes!" & He'd say, "I b'lieve I'll have mine for dessert." FIL always said the blessing at the table on holidays so last year MIL said it & this year my husband did & I generally tack on something irreverant like, "Heavenly Father, we know you were used to the beautiful blessings Jack used to say, but please bear with us now that he's with You, & he's probably looking down & laughing at us now. Take good care of him & make sure he knows how much we miss him. And Grace is going from chair to chair begging for turkey. Amen." Very hard, very bittersweet, but it gets MIL smiling - today I was bemoaning the fact that I didn't have anybody to eat fruitcake with - nobody else liked it but me & FIL - & MIL told us abt her mom's fruit cakes, drenched in whiskey, which of her siblings liked it, who drank too much ..... It's so hard but the parent who has lost a spouse deserves kindness, compassion, & not to be left alone.

My sister's MIL and our mother are best friends. DIL passed several years ago, and now MIL is planning a trip here (we live states away) to celebrate their 80th birthdays together. She's always been family. I look forward to her visits. She's so much fun. When people choose to be a family, it can work. Sometimes people don't want to be for whatever reason. They're really missing out. I think it's never a bad thing to welcome others in.

Oh my god, is this my brother and his witch wife? I had the same situation one year at Christmas. We invited my friend who'd been cheated on and laid off at the same time, and invited my husband's friend whose mom had just died so they wouldn't be alone. My brother and his then gf (now wife) got so mad and offended on how we invited other people to join. My mom wanted to invite more lol

I like that most of the responses are, "Stay with your mom."

Mmmm, she asked and she got her answer. Sounds like she asked as a formality, not really out of consideration for the hostess. That said, she has a very valid reason to skip it. And MIL will have her son and the rest of her family alllll to herself.

If I knew my daughter in laws mum was on her own for Christmas Day regardless if the kids had spent the previous day with her I'd invite her over anyway I wouldn't need to be asked what's one more at the table just means there would be a little less to put in the dogs afterwards

What a terrible title: "“She Can’t Come”: MIL Shocks Woman After She Rejects Her Mom From Joining Them For Christmas". Who is "She", who is "Her" and who is "Them"?

Ha!

If I were asked, I'd say no too. I'm not Christian and I just want to be comfortable and spend time with people I want. If I don't feel close to you I don't want to invite you. Op can ask, I can also say no, and I'll deal with the consequences. Op can also spend time with Mom, instead of me. I understand and no one is stopping Op. Would it be a nice thing to do? Maybe. I don't know, but I do know I don't want to be uncomfortable in my own place.

She should babysit her mom herself rather than making other people feel uncomfortable. People celebrate in different ways and that's fine.