You should have told your in-laws what she said the second she said it. Period. There is no logical reason not to defend yourself. I don't care where you were or what was going on. That's your HUSBAND and legally you come before his parents at this point. Forget saving face, stand up for yourself.

At my sister's funeral on the Friday, my cousin bit*hed about how her wedding the next day was ruined. Even her father, the family's known Biggest A-hole, took her aside and yelled at her for being TA. This was over 30 years ago, so.... Yeah, I don't talk to them. AITA?...

Imagine you're so entitled you think someone died on purpose just to spite YOU. Sheesh, she sounds horrible. Of course you're NTA, I would have done the same.

I agree with those who believe that your in-laws should know what she has said. I understand the kind thoughts that went with not telling them, and if you want to you could just tell them that she was demanding half the cost of the wedding because he ruined her day. Otherwise you allow yourself to be villainized as the bad person and there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. I suspect that they may be aware of your sister-in-law's flaws, since I got the idea from your post that he had dated her for a long time before being willing to tie the knot. However there is absolutely no reason for you to continue being the villain in this chapter of your life. It's unfair to them, because I'm sure they love You and are probably devastated that you are no longer a part of their lives.

Wow! I can't believe the audacity and clearly narcissistic behavior of that AHSIL. The widow should have told the truth to her MIL and FIL. The AHSIL owes the widow and the rest of the family an apology.

My mom had a massive seizure and passed away 15 days later. While she was in the hospital I told anyone that was going in to see her to please not mention to her how bad things were. Not to say anything about passing away or anything like that. Her sister comes in that asks me how she's doing so I said let's go outside and I'll tell you and in front of my mother she says send me, what the hell she said already do you think talking in front of her is going to make a difference. At that moment I threw her the hell out of my mother's room and I told her not to come back. 5 days later my mom was sent home. My aunt didn't call once asked me how mom was doing oh, didn't come by once to even ask me if I needed help nothing. The day my mom passed she sends her son to my door and I told her son if you want to come in you're more than welcome to but your mother can see my mother at the wake. Well she never showed up for the wake and hasn't spoken to me in 11 years, which I really don't mind

Next time MIL/FIL invite you to dinner....accept that invitation girl! In the middle of dinner, drop the bomb and tell everyone that Bea has something to say!!! Don't hide the facts about what she said to you any longer, as it will just eat away at you. She should be ashamed at what she said about your husband....period!

The nerve of some people.

At my sisters wedding the grooms grandmother had a heart attack during the dinner. The whole of the grooms family are dramatic attention seekers (which makes them a good match for my sister) so my sister thought the grandmother was either faking it or just exaggerating heartburn or something. Once the ambulance arrived and carted Grandma off to hospital everyone else in the Grooms family just carried on as if nothing had happened (nobody went with Grandma in the ambulance). My sister got annoyed that people kept asking after the Grandma and if there was any updates and that 'It's what my wedding day is going to be remembered for!" It was the first time that my mother considered the possibility that I wasn't the only sociopath in the family.

Bea is allowed to be upset that her happy event was marred by tragedy and the start of her marriage has been hijacked by her husband's grief absenting him. (I also suspect the couple significantly over extended themselves, financially, for this wedding and haven't recovered yet, adding even more strain on top of grief, hence the specific focus on cost) But I agree that these are things one is allowed to feel but not allowed to say out loud. I do think Bea is looking for a scapegoat for alllllllll of the very complicated feelings, situations, and consequences, and unfortunately, making it the deceased's fault for knowing the risk and keeping it hidden, is the easiest. That the OP likewise knew and kept it from Bea prevents all of it being shifted to the deceased and makes her likewise culpable. Unless the OP has kids which will keep her in contact with these inlaws for the rest of her life, I'm in favor of just fading out of this family and not touching this nuke with a ten foot pole.

The day of my high school graduation my father seemed out of sorts. Only he and my mother were going to be there. I don't think my siblings, both married adults, even knew I was graduating that day. Graduation came and went, no celebration was planned. Dad was subdued. I asked again what was going on. Finally my parents told me my paternal grandfather had died that morning. I wish they'd told me earlier, so at least I'd know what was going on.

Bea should've suggested to her new husband that the two of them should chose a different day to celebrate their marriage, maybe a week before or a week after. That way they could celebrate the brother's life every year on the day he unfortunately passed away... I mean obviously the man didn't chose to die on the day of his Brother's wedding, or at all. There was such a better way Bea could've handled the situation that would've shown how good of a person she was, that is if she actually is a good person

Op should have told everyone what had happened!All the comments on there are people saying how the in-laws are Ah well just remember they lost a Son so they probably wanted a quiet funeral and they don't know what the horrible person fricken said!!! She is sooo NTA but she needs to tell them I am quite sure that brother in law wouldn't be married to her anymore after saying that about his brothers death.....

RIP Dante, as for the bride, karma will come

Definitely NTA. But I think everyone in the immediate family should have been told about the husband's condition, unless his doctor thought his condition was completely under control. The bride was a complete AH, but notice that her comments came AFTER finding out about his preexisting condition. I think the dead husband was an AH for keeping it to himself. If it had been my wedding, I would have been furious, too, although I wouldn't have expected reimbursement. Had everyone known, there might have been some precautions that could have been taken. I worked with someone who had an inoperable heart condition. She told everyone, so no one was blindsided when she finally passed away, in public, at a restaurant.

my aneurysm exploded while i was transcribing from a cheap weekly rent motel;., 27 aneurysm clips later . . .

How did these people grow up to be this way?

NTA. It reminds me of when my grandmother died on my daughter's 3rd birthday. (I am NTA here, I promise). I was sad that it happened on her birthday, but I knew she was too young to even remember that it happened. What really ticked me off is my cousin's fiance complaining about how inconvenient my grandmother's death was, since it happened a week before her wedding. She was so worried about it ruining HER day, and that every anniversary would be married by sadness bc of her untimely death. I see my dad's eyes every year on my daughter's birthday, and I know that while he's happy and celebrating another year of my daughter's life, he also associates it with his mother's death. We all feel it on her birthday. And yet, every year, without fail, my cousin's now wife complains to me that everyone is too sad to properly celebrate her anniversary (a whole week later).

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Sorry for your loss. The bride is correct, but only regarding the tarnishing the memory of their wedding day. Especially for the groom who will remember that day as the death of his brother. However, making a negative statement of the incident is not appropriate. The man that died was family and so is his wife.

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It's no one's fault the husband died but if I was that sick, I wouldn't have went to the wedding.