A person’s character often reveals itself in times of crisis. And this universal truth is applicable to their flaws just as much as their strengths.

A few days ago, Reddit user u/HaKyunga29 submitted a story to the ‘Am I the A***ole?’ community about her sister-in-law, asking its members to share their take on the situation.

The entire family has gone through a very traumatic experience. The original poster’s husband passed away from an aneurysm at his brother’s wedding.

But while everyone was mourning their loss, the bride had the audacity to accuse the deceased of ruining the most important day of her life.

Unsure if she crossed any lines reacting to this absurd—and I’d even say offensive—claim by her sister-in-law, u/HaKyunga29 described what happened online, hoping that unbiased strangers could help her make sense of the whole thing.

We’ve heard of bridezillas, but this lady is something else

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not an actual photo)

She accused her brother-in-law of “ruining” her wedding when the poor fellow collapsed from an aneurysm

Image credits: zelle duda (not an actual photo)

Image credits: Fa Barboza (not an actual photo)

As Rebecca J. Rosen pointed out in The Atlantic, marriage is the union not merely of two spouses but of two families—each with its own beliefs and ways of being in the world.

The resulting relationships can be some of the most rewarding, but, for a lot of people, just like u/HaKyunga29, they can also be some of the most challenging.

Communicating between two people is complicated enough on its own, but in-law relationships happen through someone else. By their very nature. Any conflict touches everyone, and every person brings their own feelings to it.

The widow’s sister-in-law can put an end to their disagreement at any point by apologizing, but some people view it as an admission that they are inadequate—that, rather than having made a mistake, there is something inherently wrong with them.

Of course, we don’t know the newlywed and have limited information. She might, on the other hand, believe that offering the first apology is virtually accepting guilt and responsibility for the entirety of a conflict that involved wrongs on the part of both parties.

However, a well-delivered, honest apology will generally solve a whole lot and, on the contrary, restore positive feelings.

Researchers and psychologists say apologizing when you’ve broken a rule of social conduct re-establishes that you know what the “rules” are, and you agree that they must be followed

But if you can’t even see that your behavior is hurtful… That’s, sadly, a completely different story.

People were very sorry for the woman’s loss and said she’s absolutely NTA – not the a***ole

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