Drama Erupts As Woman “Ruins” Guy’s Safe Space By Joining Trivia Night At Local Bar, He Storms Out
You know that classic saying, “It’s a free country”? Well, it turns out some people didn’t get the memo. Sometimes, we find ourselves in places and situations that make us wonder if we just stumbled upon a trivia night at a local bar or accidentally crashed someone’s midlife crisis support group meeting.
Imagine gearing up for a fun night out, only to get slapped with a “you can’t sit with us” sort of vibe, except it’s not high school, it’s a grown man acting like he’s the trivia night bouncer. Apparently, this Redditor’s presence alone was enough to throw off the delicate balance of his “bros-only” club.
More info: Reddit
Bar regular bans woman from joining trivia night, saying it’s a “guys only” event, she claps back, saying they should move their party to a private venue
Image credits: freepik / freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman starts joining trivia night at her local bar every Friday until one of the bar regulars tries to kick her out, saying she’s not welcomed there
Image credits: master1305 / freepik (not the actual photo)
The man tells the woman that the bar is a place where he and his buddies can escape judgmental women and her presence there would ruin the fun
Image credits: UnsafeSpacePlace
The woman tells the man to move his party to a private location if he doesn’t want any women present, as a bar is a public place, open to anyone
Friday nights were always trivia nights at the OP’s (original poster) local bar. This was supposed to be a fun time for everyone, and it was, at least until one woman unknowingly waltzed into what was apparently “sacred” guys’ territory. The OP had just started showing up for some fun rounds of trivia at this cozy place, but it wasn’t long before she was told she was not welcome there by one of the regulars at the bar.
According to him, this weekly trivia event was guys-only and a safe place for them to hide from the “judgement of women.” So, the OP’s presence there was completely unacceptable. And before you ask, no, he wasn’t the bar owner. In fact, he was just a regular who seemed to think he had VIP rights. Talk about gatekeeping.
So, when the OP was told to leave and take her unwelcoming vibes with her, she clapped back with a dose of common sense. “I told him he shouldn’t have it in a public bar,” the OP recalls. After all, if you want a guys-only hangout, maybe host it in a private place.
The guy stormed out in protest, and his buddies didn’t do so well without their fearless leader. Surprisingly, or maybe not, the OP’s boyfriend suggested she might have been in the wrong for not respecting the gatekeeper’s feelings.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A bit of empathy never hurt anyone, that’s true, but that doesn’t mean you have to indulge someone’s unreasonable demands. Plus, a little healthy competition adds spice to life, right? After all, trivia is supposed to be fun, not an exclusive club for the chosen few.
Bar trivia nights didn’t just pop up out of nowhere – they’ve been around since the 1970s, when two British folks cooked up the idea. They figured out that people loved showing off their random knowledge after a few drinks, so they created the first pub quiz to liven up local bars.
These days, what started as a quirky British pastime is a global trend. Now, from dive bars to fancy pubs, folks gather to test their brains while trying to juggle beer mugs. It’s like the Olympics of random facts—except with way more questionable answers and funny team names.
While we don’t know the gatekeeper’s “gentlemen’s club” name, we do know that he was, in some way, threatened by the presence of the OP. She was just there for a good time like everyone else, not trying to ruin the competition. Still, some people will hold on to any bit of control they think they have, even over something as simple as a Friday night trivia game, freaking out if they feel like they’ve lost control.
So, what happens when you have to deal with conflict with a stranger or a public confrontation? Well, in this case, standing your ground is less about who’s the loudest and more about who has the confidence.
Keeping your cool in such situations may not always be easy, but maintaining eye contact, speaking calmly but firmly, and sticking to your point without backing down are key strategies in asserting yourself. Seems straightforward enough, right?
But there’s a trick for doing this – not matching the other person’s energy if they’re getting heated. Instead, try to stay calm, say what you want to say, and don’t give in. And this is exactly what the OP did when she was asked to not show up to trivia night anymore because women were not “allowed”.
Does this make her a villain? Well, the Reddit community doesn’t seem to think so, calling out the ridiculousness of trying to turn a public bar into a “no-women-allowed” club.
What did you think of this story? Do you think the OP was a jerk for attending trivia night and “ruining” the secret gentlemen’s club? Let us know in the comments below.
Netizens side with the woman, saying she’s not a jerk for ruining the man’s favorite hangout spot by joining trivia night
Image credits: Ivan Dražić / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Poll Question
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Did anyone think to ask the manager or owner of the bar for their thoughts?
I don't know if a "no girls allowed" rule can be legally enforced. If the bar advertises the trivia night, that may make them liable for discrimination.
Load More Replies...Last I checked, most bars want the female population so the guys will come. This guy didn't speak with the owner about that.
Oldie from 2 years ago, so this is just for the sake of opinion: it's a bar that is not gender segregated or exclusive, it's not a friends' group socializing, and they accept strangers joining in (except women). It's not the right place for a trivia night as a sort of "safe space" for men. I'd say it's the same bull c**p if a women's group met to play parcheesi in a bar on Friday nights and told the men they're not allowed to join because the women need to get away from men.
If you "reserve" the place for some event, you can admit some people or exclude them in your free will. We have at Fridays a country party - a lot of guitars and singing and drinking only for friends, no free entry. Not a super beauty girl will be allowed (we are mixed men and women and sure we women will her there not).
Load More Replies...A similar, but less dramatic, scenario happened to me and my daughter. She was a teen and I had gotten the okay from the staff at a lounge/restaurant to bring her for karaoke. (In Manitoba minors are allowed in lounges that serve food and non-alcoholic drinks as long as they are with an adult at all times in the lounge. This is, of course, depending on the establishment rules.) We had sat in the restaurant area and when my daughter was called up I would go up with her. No one had an issue with her being there. People cheered her on and so supportive. A sloshed girl stumbled up to us later that night, slurring that we should go to a "family restaurant" she knows that does karaoke instead of bringing her to this one. (The restaurant we were at has a kid's menu, btw. It IS a family restaurant.) I really don't know what her issue was. It's not like she was being prevented from drinking and being loud, obviously. OP is definitely NTA, but she should bring up the issue with the bar owner.
Trivia guy is a whiny little pvssy and the boyfriend is an idiot. They are in a public space in a public bar. If they don't want women around, build a fvcking treehouse and put a "no girls allowed" sign on the door like a bunch of eight year olds.
If he feels he needs a safe space from the "judgement of women" maybe he should try not being a misogynistic prick, therefore there would be no reason for him to be judged by women.
Poor little baby can’t handle being around a woman. I’m guessing he’s one of those aloha males who are insecure of their masculinity and take it out on women.
I’ve been to a few trivia nights and there’s always been a 50/50 mix of men and women. Dude can suck it.
So, have your men's only night in a truly safe place, at home where he can order his wife out for a girls'night out, if he actually has a wife, sounds like he probably doesn't. It's like the old weekly or monthly poker nights, rotate between the boys' homes, or rent a venue. A public business, such as a bar, is not the safe space he thinks it is. And, I'd bet the owner of the bar would be extremely upset at losing business from paying customers if they find out this guy is telling women to leave. Her bf needs to STFU, or find a new gf.
I'm a bit confused! Was the guy mad just by her presence in the bar? Because if that's the case, he literally just emasculated himself.
From the title I really expected he to have joined his team. This guy doesn't want to be in the same room as a woman who likes trivia? He should stay home.
You can't just declare a business you don't own as your own personal safe space and start exclusing other patrons
It's Friday night - people go out on weekends - bars and pubs would lose money if they banned women on Friday nights. This guy has some serious issues
Uh, if the bar wants to host this dude's trivia night as a private event, they're welcome to close the bar down for it. But if it's not closed for a private event, then there's nothing this dude can do about her showing up and enjoying herself. And so long as the staff isn't asking her to leave, he can pound sand.
More and more sensitive and whiny. Is there a back room guys can rent for an event, or is the bar owner willing to lose female dollars over this guy? Bad business moves, if so.
Maybe those guys need to build a clubhouse that has a sign: "No gurls allowed." :)
Wait, what? The dude needs a "Safe Space" from women!!! Is the leader of his local chapter of MGTOW?
A safe space from women. Hahahaha. Wait until she gets sports questions right.
Tell that magat he's a weak beta baby if he needs a "safe space" because he's terrified of feminist women.
If there can be "Ladies nights", there may be "Gents nights" as well. But in both cases, if you don't want anybody of the other sẹx visiting: make it clear. e.g. "Tonight: Gents only night! Enjoy Trivia & Drinks! ☆ Tomorrow: Ladies only night! Enjoy Trivia & Drinks! ☆ End of the week: Who got it better‽ Trivia & Drinks - admission 1€ - the winners get it all!"
This AH and his buddies can either build themselves a clubhouse or; as another commentir suggested, go to the local gay bar to get away from cooties. I would have immediately asked to speak with the manager/owner and told them what the man said. It's a public space and supposedly open trivia night that the bar is running to get parons butts in seats and ordering drinks. Doesn't matter if it was this guy's suggestion. It's not like he invented bar trivia night.
Can you imagine that when it was a women community and one (heroic)man would be there with them?
I take great issue with women who say that men generally aren't larger, stronger or faster than them. But when it comes to matters of the mind? Feel free to annihilate away, ladies.
Did anyone think to ask the manager or owner of the bar for their thoughts?
I don't know if a "no girls allowed" rule can be legally enforced. If the bar advertises the trivia night, that may make them liable for discrimination.
Load More Replies...Last I checked, most bars want the female population so the guys will come. This guy didn't speak with the owner about that.
Oldie from 2 years ago, so this is just for the sake of opinion: it's a bar that is not gender segregated or exclusive, it's not a friends' group socializing, and they accept strangers joining in (except women). It's not the right place for a trivia night as a sort of "safe space" for men. I'd say it's the same bull c**p if a women's group met to play parcheesi in a bar on Friday nights and told the men they're not allowed to join because the women need to get away from men.
If you "reserve" the place for some event, you can admit some people or exclude them in your free will. We have at Fridays a country party - a lot of guitars and singing and drinking only for friends, no free entry. Not a super beauty girl will be allowed (we are mixed men and women and sure we women will her there not).
Load More Replies...A similar, but less dramatic, scenario happened to me and my daughter. She was a teen and I had gotten the okay from the staff at a lounge/restaurant to bring her for karaoke. (In Manitoba minors are allowed in lounges that serve food and non-alcoholic drinks as long as they are with an adult at all times in the lounge. This is, of course, depending on the establishment rules.) We had sat in the restaurant area and when my daughter was called up I would go up with her. No one had an issue with her being there. People cheered her on and so supportive. A sloshed girl stumbled up to us later that night, slurring that we should go to a "family restaurant" she knows that does karaoke instead of bringing her to this one. (The restaurant we were at has a kid's menu, btw. It IS a family restaurant.) I really don't know what her issue was. It's not like she was being prevented from drinking and being loud, obviously. OP is definitely NTA, but she should bring up the issue with the bar owner.
Trivia guy is a whiny little pvssy and the boyfriend is an idiot. They are in a public space in a public bar. If they don't want women around, build a fvcking treehouse and put a "no girls allowed" sign on the door like a bunch of eight year olds.
If he feels he needs a safe space from the "judgement of women" maybe he should try not being a misogynistic prick, therefore there would be no reason for him to be judged by women.
Poor little baby can’t handle being around a woman. I’m guessing he’s one of those aloha males who are insecure of their masculinity and take it out on women.
I’ve been to a few trivia nights and there’s always been a 50/50 mix of men and women. Dude can suck it.
So, have your men's only night in a truly safe place, at home where he can order his wife out for a girls'night out, if he actually has a wife, sounds like he probably doesn't. It's like the old weekly or monthly poker nights, rotate between the boys' homes, or rent a venue. A public business, such as a bar, is not the safe space he thinks it is. And, I'd bet the owner of the bar would be extremely upset at losing business from paying customers if they find out this guy is telling women to leave. Her bf needs to STFU, or find a new gf.
I'm a bit confused! Was the guy mad just by her presence in the bar? Because if that's the case, he literally just emasculated himself.
From the title I really expected he to have joined his team. This guy doesn't want to be in the same room as a woman who likes trivia? He should stay home.
You can't just declare a business you don't own as your own personal safe space and start exclusing other patrons
It's Friday night - people go out on weekends - bars and pubs would lose money if they banned women on Friday nights. This guy has some serious issues
Uh, if the bar wants to host this dude's trivia night as a private event, they're welcome to close the bar down for it. But if it's not closed for a private event, then there's nothing this dude can do about her showing up and enjoying herself. And so long as the staff isn't asking her to leave, he can pound sand.
More and more sensitive and whiny. Is there a back room guys can rent for an event, or is the bar owner willing to lose female dollars over this guy? Bad business moves, if so.
Maybe those guys need to build a clubhouse that has a sign: "No gurls allowed." :)
Wait, what? The dude needs a "Safe Space" from women!!! Is the leader of his local chapter of MGTOW?
A safe space from women. Hahahaha. Wait until she gets sports questions right.
Tell that magat he's a weak beta baby if he needs a "safe space" because he's terrified of feminist women.
If there can be "Ladies nights", there may be "Gents nights" as well. But in both cases, if you don't want anybody of the other sẹx visiting: make it clear. e.g. "Tonight: Gents only night! Enjoy Trivia & Drinks! ☆ Tomorrow: Ladies only night! Enjoy Trivia & Drinks! ☆ End of the week: Who got it better‽ Trivia & Drinks - admission 1€ - the winners get it all!"
This AH and his buddies can either build themselves a clubhouse or; as another commentir suggested, go to the local gay bar to get away from cooties. I would have immediately asked to speak with the manager/owner and told them what the man said. It's a public space and supposedly open trivia night that the bar is running to get parons butts in seats and ordering drinks. Doesn't matter if it was this guy's suggestion. It's not like he invented bar trivia night.
Can you imagine that when it was a women community and one (heroic)man would be there with them?
I take great issue with women who say that men generally aren't larger, stronger or faster than them. But when it comes to matters of the mind? Feel free to annihilate away, ladies.
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