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“This Can’t Be Real”: Woman Asks For Advice After BF Blocks Her For Horrible Financial Decisions
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“This Can’t Be Real”: Woman Asks For Advice After BF Blocks Her For Horrible Financial Decisions

Interview With Expert
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Moving in with a romantic partner can save the couple a few thousand dollars a year. In fact, ApartmentAdvisor has found that in the most expensive cities, partners were able to save a whopping $26,000 when cohabiting together. 

So it’s no surprise that redditor u/throwRa_ript’s boyfriend suggested moving in with him instead of staying at her luxury apartment. However, her need to maintain her bougie lifestyle was stronger than saving, and she renewed her lease behind his back. Of course, this quickly backfired, leaving her blocked everywhere. 

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with clinical psychologist Stephanie Sorensen, PsyD, who kindly agreed to tell us more about couples moving in to save money.

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    To save money, some couples may consider moving in together

    Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / envato (not the actual photo)

    However, this woman refused to give up her luxury lifestyle and even expected her boyfriend to pay for it

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    Image credits: Max Vakhtbovycn / pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: throwRa_ript

    “Saving money is a common motivator for moving in sooner than usual, especially in a high-cost-of-living city”

    Image credits: karandaev / envato

    A person living alone who wants to reduce living expenses might find it tempting to move in with their partner. Together, they save on higher costs like rent and utilities and can also decide to evenly split internet, streaming subscriptions, furniture, and food expenses, pinching pennies even more. 

    A Realtor.com survey revealed that 80% of Gen Z and 76% of Millennial respondents were largely motivated to cohabitate with their significant other because of money and logistics. 56% of Gen Z and 44% of Boomers agreed with this as well. 

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    The larger part of participants admitted to saving up to $500 a month, while 20% said anywhere between $500 and $1,000. However, 42% said that they regretted making this decision. Reasons for it included feeling rushed into it, realizing they weren’t compatible, and that living together made it harder to separate. 

    “Saving money is a common motivator for moving in sooner than usual, especially in a high-cost-of-living city (such as New York City, where I’m based),” says clinical psychologist Stephanie Sorensen, PsyD, to Bored Panda. “I’ve seen a neutral-to-positive effect for couples who are feeling squeezed financially—money issues are one of life’s major stressors, and it can positively impact mood to relieve that pressure.”

    Couples should be capable of successfully resolving conflict to make cohabitation work

    Image credits: djoronimo / envato (not the actual photo)

    Even though moving in with a romantic partner might reduce financial worries and bring the couple closer together, it can negatively affect the relationship if it happens too soon. “Are you ready to add in the day-to-day negotiation of the unromantic logistics of how often to clean the toilet and where it’s acceptable to clip your toenails?” asks Sorensen. 

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    “These daily intimacies can deepen closeness in a relationship, but if navigating a high volume of these little points of friction comes in too early in the relationship, they can deprive couples of that beautiful, mysterious, idealizing phase–a time to be savored and which can serve the couple as a point of recall and shared point of positive reference long afterward.”

    So how does one know if moving in with their partner is the right thing to do without being blinded by the idea of saving some bucks? Sorensen says that if couples can successfully work through conflicts, then they’re in an emotionally mature relationship to be capable of making cohabitation work. 

    “This means hearing the other person’s perspective, sharing their own feelings as honestly and vulnerably as possible, and finding that each person is capable of giving the other the advantage on the issues that matter most to them (rather than seeing it as a power struggle with a win-lose outcome).”

    Sorensen concludes by saying, “Moving in is an exciting step, and it’s important to take a moment to take stock of your own readiness to be with your partner in a much more bounded environment. Planning for and communicating your own needs for solitude, as well as strong lifestyle preferences such as a sleep schedule or the desire to maintain certain social commitments with friends, can go a long way in facilitating a smooth transition.”

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    Readers sided with the boyfriend in the comments

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    After some time, the author came back with an update

    Image credits: throwRa_ript

    Readers further accused the woman of using her boyfriend

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    Austeja Zokaite

    Austeja Zokaite

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

    Read less »
    Austeja Zokaite

    Austeja Zokaite

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

    Gabija Palšytė

    Gabija Palšytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

    Read less »

    Gabija Palšytė

    Gabija Palšytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

    What do you think ?
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    Hphizzle
    Community Member
    6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She’s delusional. Or just extremely selfish. I hope he walks away from this relationship. It’s only going to get worse if they get married. Her attitude towards the solutions makes it seem as though she has no intention of follow through.

    Mr.Li
    Community Member
    6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would'nt have even paid her rent when she came up the first time. You dont have enough money to rent this place, then you shouldnt rent it, in the first place.

    Load More Comments
    Hphizzle
    Community Member
    6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She’s delusional. Or just extremely selfish. I hope he walks away from this relationship. It’s only going to get worse if they get married. Her attitude towards the solutions makes it seem as though she has no intention of follow through.

    Mr.Li
    Community Member
    6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would'nt have even paid her rent when she came up the first time. You dont have enough money to rent this place, then you shouldnt rent it, in the first place.

    Load More Comments
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