There’s a time to work and a time to relax. A time to help others and a time to tell them no. And the lines are often clear. However, after she volunteered to look after a few kids during her sister’s wedding, Redditor strawberry_field22 found herself in a very ambiguous situation.

The bride-to-be understood her words as an agreement to watch all the children during the ceremony and told the guests without the woman’s knowledge that she would be happy to do so. But in a post on the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?’, she revealed that she isn’t.

This kindergarten teacher volunteered to watch a few kids at her sister’s wedding

Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)

But the bride-to-be saw this as an opportunity to take advantage of her

Image credits: nd3000 (not the actual photo)

Image credits: strawberry_field22

Although they come with additional costs, professional childcare services can prevent such conflicts

Image credits: Felipe Salgado (not the actual photo)

According to one survey from the UK, people’s opinion is somewhat split on which guests should bring children to a wedding. 9% think that only close friends and family should be allowed to do so, while 25% believe that the privilege should extend to everyone who’s invited. A further 9% think there shouldn’t be any kids at all.

It’s understandable. After all, accommodating families is often harder than imagined.

There are a few factors couples have to consider before making the decision. For one thing, children can be unpredictable and they will need to rely on their parents to take control. Plus, the little ones in attendance can also affect the wedding budget.

On the other hand, issuing an all-out ban on kids at a wedding is likely to ruffle some feathers, as many can find this hard-line rule troublesome or even rude; people have to make arrangements ahead of time, which can be especially challenging at a destination wedding, where they’re away from their regular go-to resources at home.

One of the best ways to ensure that both the youngest wedding guests and their parents are happy (and your big day is as stress-free as possible) is to hire professional childcare to watch over the kids collectively. But the additional out-of-pocket cost might tempt you into exploiting your relatives.

We can’t dismiss all the stress brides go through when planning their wedding

Regardless of how this particular situation plays out, experts suggest that the term bridezilla is only making wedding drama worse. Landis Bejar, therapist and the founder of AisleTalk, is one of those who think it’s time to retire it.

“It gets watered down so much that it’s used to describe any woman who cares about her wedding,” Bejar told Insider. “It’s being used to describe a woman who’s asserting her opinion, who’s asserting her needs, who has emotions.”

“There are many reasons why our emotions might shift during wedding planning,” Bejar added. “Maybe you’re dealing with really intense family strain. Maybe this is a big identity shift for you. Maybe you’re having stress in your partnership, or you’re trying to appease your in-laws or you’re spending a fortune.”

All of that is inherently stressful, and the pressure is often increased for brides in particular because the burden of planning typically falls on their shoulders. Instead of using this label, we should probably first try to empathize with the woman.

Hopefully, the sisters will find a way to reconcile with each other.

Still, people unanimously supported the woman and said that her sister needs to reevaluate her priorities

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