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Woman Thinks Her Pregnancy Entitles Her To Generational Wealth, Is Reminded Of Her Place
Family is what you make it. So when this woman’s father said her half sister wanted to reconnect, she agreed to share her number. After all, it feels nice when someone shows initiative and expresses a desire to stay in touch.
However, during their first call, the woman learned that this re-emergence was motivated by a specific reason—or rather, need. Money. When the woman was a child, her grandparents set up a trust fund for her, and now her half sister, who doesn’t have one, wants a share of it.
RELATED:
This woman learned that her younger half sister got pregnant
Image credits: Iakobchuk (not the actual image)
But the news came with a demand to share her trust fund
Image credits: alinabuphoto (not the actual image)
Image credits: kitzstocker (not the actual image)
Image credits: [deleted]
Generally, families are good at avoiding money conversations and bad at having them
Research on estrangement is a relatively new field but already shows that the phenomenon is far more common than some might think.
A study published in the book Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them surveyed a nationally representative sample of 1,340 Americans over the age of 18 and found that 27% were currently estranged from a relative.
While there is no conclusive data on whether estrangements are increasing or decreasing, it may be that with celebrities sharing their experiences with everyone, others may feel more comfortable divulging their own struggles.
“Families have always been complicated, and now we’re talking about it more,” says Lucy Blake, PhD, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of the West of England in Bristol and author of the book No Family Is Perfect: A Guide to Embracing the Messy Reality.
The expectations we have for each other vary quite a bit, but it sounds like the author of the post and her half sister felt like they didn’t need to enact any roles or fulfill any obligations. So it’s understandable that the woman felt hurt when she was reminded of them just because of her savings.
However, a recent study from researchers at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada, suggests that fights about money – as long as they’re small – may actually be good for families. The reason is that it means they’re talking about money in the first place. Hopefully, these folks will also get to the bottom of their financial issues and find a way to support the struggling mom-to-be.
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual image)
Many people who read the story said its author did the right thing
But some believe her half sister is entitled to a share of the trust fund
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What do you think ?
Nina 4 months ago
Seriously, I'm about to throw up on the people who keep saying "but it's family" and can't seem to imagine family can suck big time. OP has no obligation to her half-sister just because they've got the same sperm-donor. The bio-dad didn't even handle the child-support he was obligated for his own kid, the grandparents did. The money OP has in her trust is HER money, given to her by her grandparents. If the half-sis wants money, she should go beg them (but she probably won't since she already knows their answer).
Mike F 4 months ago
I was thinking that same thing! Laid down with a dog and woke up with fleas that last 18 years. She needs to be chasing the baby daddy and his family.
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BWC 4 months ago
It seems like everyone is missing a simple fact... The trust fund was a stipulation of the divorce agreement so the grandparents, who agreed to cover those terms, created the account. Would they have done it if it wasn't? Who knows but that doesn't change the circumstances. The money is hers by legal decree.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 4 months ago
"But it's family" Does being family somehow magically remove all a*****e genes, or something? Families can be a******s - shocker.
notlikeyou1971 4 months ago
This girl pops out of the woodwork demanding money because she found out you have a trust fund? First off she's a stranger. If she wanted a relationship with you she would have made effort to have one but Noooo, she came forward when it was convenient for her because she saw dollar signs and the possibility that she could benefit from being a sister. You're under absolutely NO obligation to support her. Pregnant or not she can't be family when it's convenient for her. You can't use the world famous " but family " guilt trip card here because this girl is family in name only. Has she ever ever acted like family or made effort to find OP? Has she tried to call or pursue a relationship? Even if it's phone calls or texts or emails? No. This money was given to OP by HER grandparents. Take her little guilt trip card and burn it. Then block her on everything and let her pound sand. She has to live with the consequences of being a convenient sister. ( only calling up this 1 time DEMANDING money) She has to live with the consequences of bad decisions SHE made. OP is not responsible or obligated to this greedy girl or her baby. Call daddy. He made her. He can help her
JLo 4 months ago
This pregnant girl has a baby daddy, a bio dad, a bio mom, maternal grandparents, baby daddy's parents, etc. to help her out. I assume all these people know her and care about her. She is a stranger to OP. She could have reached out for a relationship but that is not what she wanted. She can put the baby up for adoption, if she can't afford it. She can get child support from the baby daddy, she can get welfare, etc. If the OP is inheriting millions, then she could give a great baby gift (stroller, crib, etc.) and set up a college fund for the kid, something the sister can't cash in.
Load More Replies... TribbleThinking 4 months ago (edited)
You're selfish and spoilt (to be clear, this is sarcasm to the sister). Fine, that works. So she understands why you're keeping the money. Why is she still bothering you?
TribbleThinking 4 months ago
She's stupid and broke. Otherwise why would she get pregnant without saving first? Giving her money will not save the child from being in the care of a mother who doesn't know how to save or budget.
Load More Replies... millac 3 months ago (edited)
Her grandparents and father are s****y people who have massively failed this girl, but it's not her responsibility to fix it for them, even if she would be able to. The grandparents should have stepped in the moment they heard the LW was getting calls to see what aid they could offer this other granddaughter and great grandchild. Honestly, they should have stepped in twenty years ago to be in this girl's life all along. It's pretty garbage that they have such grossly disparate treatment between their grandkids. They paid for one to have a full ride to college, but are blowing off the barely-making-it one for no reason other than her mom didn't get it in writing.
InfiniteZeek 4 months ago
THe opportunity to discover your character guy in the yta/esh comment can fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck right off.
G A 4 months ago (edited)
You know what comes out of the woodwork when money is mentioned? Worms. She's no relative as there's no relationship. How do you know you won't need the money in the future? Why give it to some grasping no mark. She's got her Dad, 2 lots if grand parents, a mother and presumably a baby daddy and family.
Red Skye 4 months ago
NTA, all these people saying she's family give her the money, like HELL, and having nieces and nephews is not automatically a woooonderful thing, they might be total terrors, my nephew put me off EVER having children myself. NEVER gve money away to ALLEGED family memebers who have NEVER done a damned thing with you or to you that was kind, thoughtful, and maybe charitable. shared DNA does NOT a family make would you say the sperm donor with a thousand kids, collective 'wealthy' spawn of his loins with rich mothers, should give money and lots of it to their pregnant half sibs because wail, mon b***h, my kids will grow up poor. NO. if her bay GROWS UP POOR ITS BY her choice to ensure it does. NOT because you refused to share the money with her, just send her a regular lottery ticket, and say that's the only instant wealth you deserve. having a shared sperm donor does NOT make you family.
Asri X 4 months ago
Plus inheritance is not a right. The grandparents can give their money to whomever they want whether it's their grandkids or some random person they meet. It's not anyone else's money unless they choose for it to be. The OP is right to say no to a stranger with their hand out. Family isn't blood, it's a bond.
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PeakyBlinder 4 months ago
WTF is wrong with you? Why would you even consider giving her your money?? Listen to your grandfather, he is right, you would be stupid to do that and they Set this Fund up fir you, not aome random stranger
Janelle Collard 4 months ago (edited)
Any bets that if *Kylie* was the one with the trust fund that she'd willingly share with OP? Pretty sure the odds would be 1,000,000,000 to 1 *against*. Bio-dad had an affair and that's OP's problem how...?
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 4 months ago
Give the leech half of what's running through your circulatory system. After all, it's just blood.
Patricia Grande 4 months ago
I think the people in the comments who are telling her she should share her trust are the ones who guilt trip people for money. The money belongs to OP and should keep it.
Susy Hammond 4 months ago
You can bet that if the OP had given 1/2 her trust to the half sister, the deadbeat, gambling father would have had it and blown it. OP was wise to refuse.
Zack Shubb 4 months ago
This isn';t about he poster wondering if she should split her trust fund with her half sister. This is about the poster feeling guilty she now knows there will be a baby in her extended family who maybe won't have everything it needs. Poster needs to learn how to be OK with a situation that makes them uncomfortable, even if they potentially have the ability to change it. It is an unfortunate reality, but we aren't all dealt the same hand in life.
Your Mom 4 months ago
OP doesn't punish an innocent child. That child has parents, who were maybe a bit irresponsible if they made a kid while they don't have money for accomodation and pregnancy stuff. Many people grow up poor, I was one of them, and I know many of those reading this comment right now, grew up poor. It's not other people's responsibility. It's the parents responsibility. And growing up poor is not the end of the world. Sometimes it makes you more creative, empathetic, hard working, etc. I don't say it's the best thing that can happen to you, but it happens. If she's worried about her child's future, she or the baby's father should get a better paying job. And next time just don't make babies.
Taffy Renee 4 months ago
I wonder, if the money was given, would it be for baby stuff or would 'mom' spend it on other things for herself?
M G----no 4 months ago
She needs to contact the grandparents and ask them, then. That's where the money came from. Also, where's the father? There are so many things out there to help out - medicaid, SNAP, WIC... if she is serious about her baby, she can do better. If not, she needs to give it up for adoption.
Beef Brisket 4 months ago
Are these grandparents also Kylie's grandparents? If that's the case, they're truly disgusting. Sure, keep your trust fund to yourself, but understand your grandparents and your father are all AHs.
Puppy Dancing! 4 months ago
She is probably in the will for the grandparents, with a future trust fund, whereas OP is not since she already got her payout.
tameson 4 months ago
OP definitely is not TA, but I think the grandparents are. They gave all that money to one grandchild and not the other? Why would you punish your grandchild just because she was the product of an affair? That certainly wasn't her responsibility.
Kkg 4 months ago
The other kid got to be raised by 2 parents. And grandparents felt responsible for their son's mistakes. Kylie had both parents to set up a trust fund for her, whereas OP was left with nothing and even child support was paid by the grandparents. So Kylie should blame her father for not thinking about her future hard enough. And if grandparents hadn't stepped up, OP's mother would be chasing the father for alimony and Kylie's situation would be even worse.
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Nina 4 months ago
Seriously, I'm about to throw up on the people who keep saying "but it's family" and can't seem to imagine family can suck big time. OP has no obligation to her half-sister just because they've got the same sperm-donor. The bio-dad didn't even handle the child-support he was obligated for his own kid, the grandparents did. The money OP has in her trust is HER money, given to her by her grandparents. If the half-sis wants money, she should go beg them (but she probably won't since she already knows their answer).
Mike F 4 months ago
I was thinking that same thing! Laid down with a dog and woke up with fleas that last 18 years. She needs to be chasing the baby daddy and his family.
Load More Replies... BWC 4 months ago
It seems like everyone is missing a simple fact... The trust fund was a stipulation of the divorce agreement so the grandparents, who agreed to cover those terms, created the account. Would they have done it if it wasn't? Who knows but that doesn't change the circumstances. The money is hers by legal decree.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 4 months ago
"But it's family" Does being family somehow magically remove all a*****e genes, or something? Families can be a******s - shocker.
notlikeyou1971 4 months ago
This girl pops out of the woodwork demanding money because she found out you have a trust fund? First off she's a stranger. If she wanted a relationship with you she would have made effort to have one but Noooo, she came forward when it was convenient for her because she saw dollar signs and the possibility that she could benefit from being a sister. You're under absolutely NO obligation to support her. Pregnant or not she can't be family when it's convenient for her. You can't use the world famous " but family " guilt trip card here because this girl is family in name only. Has she ever ever acted like family or made effort to find OP? Has she tried to call or pursue a relationship? Even if it's phone calls or texts or emails? No. This money was given to OP by HER grandparents. Take her little guilt trip card and burn it. Then block her on everything and let her pound sand. She has to live with the consequences of being a convenient sister. ( only calling up this 1 time DEMANDING money) She has to live with the consequences of bad decisions SHE made. OP is not responsible or obligated to this greedy girl or her baby. Call daddy. He made her. He can help her
JLo 4 months ago
This pregnant girl has a baby daddy, a bio dad, a bio mom, maternal grandparents, baby daddy's parents, etc. to help her out. I assume all these people know her and care about her. She is a stranger to OP. She could have reached out for a relationship but that is not what she wanted. She can put the baby up for adoption, if she can't afford it. She can get child support from the baby daddy, she can get welfare, etc. If the OP is inheriting millions, then she could give a great baby gift (stroller, crib, etc.) and set up a college fund for the kid, something the sister can't cash in.
Load More Replies... TribbleThinking 4 months ago (edited)
You're selfish and spoilt (to be clear, this is sarcasm to the sister). Fine, that works. So she understands why you're keeping the money. Why is she still bothering you?
TribbleThinking 4 months ago
She's stupid and broke. Otherwise why would she get pregnant without saving first? Giving her money will not save the child from being in the care of a mother who doesn't know how to save or budget.
Load More Replies... millac 3 months ago (edited)
Her grandparents and father are s****y people who have massively failed this girl, but it's not her responsibility to fix it for them, even if she would be able to. The grandparents should have stepped in the moment they heard the LW was getting calls to see what aid they could offer this other granddaughter and great grandchild. Honestly, they should have stepped in twenty years ago to be in this girl's life all along. It's pretty garbage that they have such grossly disparate treatment between their grandkids. They paid for one to have a full ride to college, but are blowing off the barely-making-it one for no reason other than her mom didn't get it in writing.
InfiniteZeek 4 months ago
THe opportunity to discover your character guy in the yta/esh comment can fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck right off.
G A 4 months ago (edited)
You know what comes out of the woodwork when money is mentioned? Worms. She's no relative as there's no relationship. How do you know you won't need the money in the future? Why give it to some grasping no mark. She's got her Dad, 2 lots if grand parents, a mother and presumably a baby daddy and family.
Red Skye 4 months ago
NTA, all these people saying she's family give her the money, like HELL, and having nieces and nephews is not automatically a woooonderful thing, they might be total terrors, my nephew put me off EVER having children myself. NEVER gve money away to ALLEGED family memebers who have NEVER done a damned thing with you or to you that was kind, thoughtful, and maybe charitable. shared DNA does NOT a family make would you say the sperm donor with a thousand kids, collective 'wealthy' spawn of his loins with rich mothers, should give money and lots of it to their pregnant half sibs because wail, mon b***h, my kids will grow up poor. NO. if her bay GROWS UP POOR ITS BY her choice to ensure it does. NOT because you refused to share the money with her, just send her a regular lottery ticket, and say that's the only instant wealth you deserve. having a shared sperm donor does NOT make you family.
Asri X 4 months ago
Plus inheritance is not a right. The grandparents can give their money to whomever they want whether it's their grandkids or some random person they meet. It's not anyone else's money unless they choose for it to be. The OP is right to say no to a stranger with their hand out. Family isn't blood, it's a bond.
Load More Replies... PeakyBlinder 4 months ago
WTF is wrong with you? Why would you even consider giving her your money?? Listen to your grandfather, he is right, you would be stupid to do that and they Set this Fund up fir you, not aome random stranger
Janelle Collard 4 months ago (edited)
Any bets that if *Kylie* was the one with the trust fund that she'd willingly share with OP? Pretty sure the odds would be 1,000,000,000 to 1 *against*. Bio-dad had an affair and that's OP's problem how...?
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 4 months ago
Give the leech half of what's running through your circulatory system. After all, it's just blood.
Patricia Grande 4 months ago
I think the people in the comments who are telling her she should share her trust are the ones who guilt trip people for money. The money belongs to OP and should keep it.
Susy Hammond 4 months ago
You can bet that if the OP had given 1/2 her trust to the half sister, the deadbeat, gambling father would have had it and blown it. OP was wise to refuse.
Zack Shubb 4 months ago
This isn';t about he poster wondering if she should split her trust fund with her half sister. This is about the poster feeling guilty she now knows there will be a baby in her extended family who maybe won't have everything it needs. Poster needs to learn how to be OK with a situation that makes them uncomfortable, even if they potentially have the ability to change it. It is an unfortunate reality, but we aren't all dealt the same hand in life.
Your Mom 4 months ago
OP doesn't punish an innocent child. That child has parents, who were maybe a bit irresponsible if they made a kid while they don't have money for accomodation and pregnancy stuff. Many people grow up poor, I was one of them, and I know many of those reading this comment right now, grew up poor. It's not other people's responsibility. It's the parents responsibility. And growing up poor is not the end of the world. Sometimes it makes you more creative, empathetic, hard working, etc. I don't say it's the best thing that can happen to you, but it happens. If she's worried about her child's future, she or the baby's father should get a better paying job. And next time just don't make babies.
Taffy Renee 4 months ago
I wonder, if the money was given, would it be for baby stuff or would 'mom' spend it on other things for herself?
M G----no 4 months ago
She needs to contact the grandparents and ask them, then. That's where the money came from. Also, where's the father? There are so many things out there to help out - medicaid, SNAP, WIC... if she is serious about her baby, she can do better. If not, she needs to give it up for adoption.
Beef Brisket 4 months ago
Are these grandparents also Kylie's grandparents? If that's the case, they're truly disgusting. Sure, keep your trust fund to yourself, but understand your grandparents and your father are all AHs.
Puppy Dancing! 4 months ago
She is probably in the will for the grandparents, with a future trust fund, whereas OP is not since she already got her payout.
tameson 4 months ago
OP definitely is not TA, but I think the grandparents are. They gave all that money to one grandchild and not the other? Why would you punish your grandchild just because she was the product of an affair? That certainly wasn't her responsibility.
Kkg 4 months ago
The other kid got to be raised by 2 parents. And grandparents felt responsible for their son's mistakes. Kylie had both parents to set up a trust fund for her, whereas OP was left with nothing and even child support was paid by the grandparents. So Kylie should blame her father for not thinking about her future hard enough. And if grandparents hadn't stepped up, OP's mother would be chasing the father for alimony and Kylie's situation would be even worse.
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