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9
Woman Can’t Take Her Cat With Her And Rehomes It, Gets A Reality Check When She Wants It Back
Interview With Expert
Cats are one of the most popular pets for many people. In fact, about 370 million cats are kept as pets globally. Responsible pet owners know that every pet needs a forever home. A place where they can live out their best days without having to worry about moving or new owners.
This woman got a surprise when a friend who asked her to adopt her cat suddenly demanded that she give it back. When the woman refused, she was called a “cat thief” and was threatened with legal action. So, she asked people online whether her stance was really so unreasonable.
To know more about the specifics of rehoming cats, Bored Panda reached out to Amy Shojai, CABC, a certified animal behaviorist. She explained how cats form strong bonds with their territory and how they handle frequent owner changes. Read her expert insights below!
More info: Amy Shojai | Amy Shojai books
RELATED:
A woman agreed to take in her friend’s cat, but was asked to return it some months later
Image credits: AnnaStills (not the actual photo)
When she refused, the ex-owner branded her a “cat thief”
Image credits: Dương Nhân (not the actual photo)
Image credits: unilateralcats
Moving can be very stressful for cats
Humans might feel attached to their homes for sentimental reasons. Cats, on the other hand, find it hard to adapt to a new home for different reasons. According to pet expert Amy Shojai, cats bond very strongly with their surroundings. When they’re away from their home territory, they typically feel stressed.
Shojai says that the effect rehoming can have on a cat depends on the circumstances. She invites owners to consider things like how long the cat lived with their previous people and whether it was a good, bad, or indifferent experience. Whether the cat was used to living with other cats, pets, and children matters, too. If they will be introduced to them for the first time, that might be stressful.
“Most cats bond very strongly with their home/territory,” Shojai explains. “Any change in routine (especially a move to unfamiliar surroundings) increases stress. It can take cats many days, more often weeks, and, sometimes, months to feel comfortable in a new home.”
“Once they adjust, cats become more accepting of close contact and interaction. They may go from hiding under the bed or avoiding people/other pets to spending more time with new owners and soliciting pets,” the pet expert points out.
Image credits: Paul Hanaoka (not the actual photo)
Cats form attachments to their owners, but in a different way than people might expect
The new owner of Mina in this story worries that the sudden change of owners will throw the cat out of balance. She feels like the cat got used to the household and considers herself Mina’s new owner. Pet expert Amy Shojai claims that cats do indeed grow attached to their owners, but in a slightly different manner than people think.
“Cats are social creatures,” she explains. “They like routine. And many cats want to control interaction. Like many creatures, cats form attachments with other people and pets when they feel safe in their presence and derive a perceived benefit from the interaction. Benefits include food, play, acceptable interaction (like an interactive game or snuggling).”
“It takes about two weeks or so for a cat to accept and adapt to a new routine – eating at a certain time, playing chase-the-feather at a certain time, snuggling during TV watching, or sharing the owner’s pillow. When a cat learns that they get wonderful benefits from interacting in these ways with the person or other pet, the bond grows stronger over time,” Shojai says.
However, every cat is different, and many other variables can determine their behavior. Most cats who have been living in a shelter or rescued won’t behave in a “normal” way, for example. “Think of it as a form of PTSD – uprooted without explanation from [a] familiar home and dumped in a scary place with strangers who might be dangerous ([in] the cat’s way of thinking),” Shojai explains.
“So, above all, have patience when rehoming cats,” she urges all cat owners. “Building positive relationships rarely [means] ‘love at first sight,’ but with care, love can grow.” For those who’d like to learn more, Amy Shojai has many cat care books available. You can find more detailed information about cat behavior and how to overcome challenges with your favorite feline there!
Image credits: Kate Stone Matheson (not the actual photo)
It’s possible to sue someone for stealing your cat, just like with any other type of property
To some people, it might seem silly to threaten legal action over a cat. “It’s just a pet!” many might say. But precisely because it’s a pet – a pet that they loved, doted on, and spent copious amounts of time with – an owner might be ready to do everything to get it back.
It’s hard to say whether such legal action would be successful. The North Shore Animal League claims that it’s possible to sue someone over wrongfully withholding an animal. The principle is the same as with any other personal property: people can use replevin action to get their possessions back. Calling the police is another option; however, they might not want to meddle in disputes between “friends.”
The best way to prevent cases like in this story is to have the rehoming agreement in writing. Then there’s written proof of who is giving temporary ownership of the cat to whom and who is the true owner. Documents like veterinary records, microchips and other registrations, pet adoption records, and sales agreements can help to prove ownership to a court or police.
Image credits: Ludemeula Fernandes (not the actual photo)
“The cat is yours,” many netizens pointed out, “Enjoy the kitty”
Although some believed that the cat is more attached to her original owner
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What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago
Since OP has taken Mina to the vet and has paid for veterinary services, she can "prove ownership", since the vet's office will have records that OP is the owner on file for Mina. A lot of times, that can help settle a case like this if it actually does end up going to court. I'm not sure where OP lives or if Mina is/was microchipped, but if OP had Mina chipped (or had her preexisting chip changed to OP's name), then H doesn't have a leg to stand on, legally speaking. Mina belongs to OP, fully and legally. I personally think H is kind of a bad person - anyone who chooses a boyfriend/girlfriend over their beloved pet they've had for YEARS is a d-bag in my book. When my ex and I met when I was 18, I made it clear that I was a package deal with my cat and dog. I won't give up a family member for a significant other unless there are other factors involved/extenuating circumstances.
Kathrin Pukowsky 3 weeks ago
Just to add, even with H and her boyfriend moving away, there is a world of difference between, "We're moving, please look after Mina until we're settled over there and can bring her," and, "We're moving, here's Mina, goodbye".
Load More Replies...
Yu Pan 3 weeks ago
The YTA people are beyond crazy. They keep saying H has Mina for 5 yrs which trumps Op's few months etc etc etc. Okay so all the 5 years of love and care and memories means nothing to H as long as she got some actions? Is that it? Mina can just be thrown away like some used vibrator? And now H isn't getting any she just remembers, oh yeah, I still got a cat that I can cuddle to keep me warm at night. Mina is a cat; not a doormat. She finally gets over a stressful event and is happy. How dare you try to claim her back! H, I don't know who you are, but I pray I'll never meet you because you disgust me.
Mark Childers 3 weeks ago
Anyone with a pet who is willing to consider options where they can't take the pet don't consider them family. I would never give a pet back to people like that. I would even offer to board a pet indefinitely knowing they had to be away for a good reason and were coming back. But not to someone who rehomed one.
KatSaidWhat 3 weeks ago
You don't just give up a cat and then decide you want it back because your life went to s**t. Mina has a new life now, and a good one at that by the sounds of it. Sister can adopt a new cat. Or old cat from a shelter preferably.
sturmwesen 3 weeks ago
NTA..but people should transfer ownership in writing so the new owner has proof and the former owner realizes they give the pet up for good.
zims 3 weeks ago
The simple fact that H rehomed the cat instead of asking someone to watch it until they settled into the new place tells it all. If they hadn't broken up with their boyfriend and moved, would they be asking for the cat back? No. Things fell apart so now that they're back they're trying to reclaim their old life. But just like you aren't guaranteed your old job or apartment back, you aren't guaranteed an animal you gave up. It sucks that she's alone, but she made her choices.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 3 weeks ago (edited)
When I moved back to my home state, my ex husband/family and dog were staying with my dad. My ex is an abusive POS and I kicked him out and filed for divorce. At the time I was working 2 part time jobs and going to nursing school, while my pup was stuck inside most of the day. I felt awful because I didn't have the time that she truly deserves, so I ended up asking my Uncle take her in. It was heartbreaking, even though I knew that was best for her, since my uncle is disabled and doesn't work and had/has kids at home still for my pup to play with. I rescued her from a shelter in 2014 and they estimated she was around a year or so old. She is such an amazing sweet girl and I love being able to go visit her. I live about 15-20 minutes away from my uncle's house now and I'm so grateful for him taking her in for me and I know it was best for my dog. I could never try and take her back, even though I've been in a position to do so. I love her and put her needs first.
Xenia Harley 3 weeks ago
There is a stray hold on dogs, in most states, but not on cats. My friend was a humane officer and she said cats are considered yours even after a day, if you don't want to give them back! Mina is not a toy, and this owner should only have a stuffed toy, not a living breathing cat! She should not get the cat back after months and saying she was rehoming the cat! That's not how ownership works! It isn't until it's convenient for you!
UncleJohn3000 3 weeks ago (edited)
I asked the 8 week old kitten sleeping in the crook of my elbow and she purred, "How does this affect me?" 8 weeks old and already a cat.
Orange Panda 3 weeks ago
H chose to move somewhere that didn't allow cats. Of all of the places that do, she chose the one that didn't. That was her decision, OP keeping MIna, as agreed, is the consequence of that choice.
Aelin Wildfire 1 day ago
If you -truly- had no choice but to move somewhere where pets are not allowed, that would be one thing, but if you're just moving to be with your partner... Your pets' lives literally revolve around you: leaving them means you're rocking their world to the core, and you better have a damn good reason to do it.
Nikki Angulo 2 weeks ago
When my Niece and Nephew were still young, some idiot called CFS (Canadian version of CPS) on my brother and his wife because of some pictures my sister in law posted on FB of their apartment (this person had never been in their home, so why they were even listened to I have no idea.) The CPS person couldn’t find any issues, but they did say they had to get rid of their Guinea pig. Sister in law couldn’t understand why since it had its own cage in a separate room from the bedrooms. They also had cats and a dog, but those were fine apparently! Just the Guinea pig. So they gave him away. A short time later, they bought a house, and they found out that the guy who they gave the Guinea pig to wasn’t really caring for him, wasn’t even clipping his nails. Sister in law offered to take him back, and the guy wanted $500! The care for the Guinea pig wouldn’t have cost anywhere near that amount for the time he had it. The people in this story made an effort with the cat, took care of her NTA
kath morgan 3 weeks ago
A friend had this happen; she adopted two kittens from an advert at the vet, a woman who willingly gave them up. A couple of months later (after neutering, etc… ofc), they called and said they changed their mind. They missed the cats and wanted them back. She said no and they started sending videos and voicemails of them crying about how sad they were without these cats (that again, they willingly adopted out). People are so weird.
Gozer LeGozerian 3 weeks ago (edited)
If she truly felt that way, she would've taken the cat with her and not dumped it because she chose a boyfriend over her cat, who should have been family. Must be a lonely world, your place of argument.
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago
Since OP has taken Mina to the vet and has paid for veterinary services, she can "prove ownership", since the vet's office will have records that OP is the owner on file for Mina. A lot of times, that can help settle a case like this if it actually does end up going to court. I'm not sure where OP lives or if Mina is/was microchipped, but if OP had Mina chipped (or had her preexisting chip changed to OP's name), then H doesn't have a leg to stand on, legally speaking. Mina belongs to OP, fully and legally. I personally think H is kind of a bad person - anyone who chooses a boyfriend/girlfriend over their beloved pet they've had for YEARS is a d-bag in my book. When my ex and I met when I was 18, I made it clear that I was a package deal with my cat and dog. I won't give up a family member for a significant other unless there are other factors involved/extenuating circumstances.
Kathrin Pukowsky 3 weeks ago
Just to add, even with H and her boyfriend moving away, there is a world of difference between, "We're moving, please look after Mina until we're settled over there and can bring her," and, "We're moving, here's Mina, goodbye".
Load More Replies... Yu Pan 3 weeks ago
The YTA people are beyond crazy. They keep saying H has Mina for 5 yrs which trumps Op's few months etc etc etc. Okay so all the 5 years of love and care and memories means nothing to H as long as she got some actions? Is that it? Mina can just be thrown away like some used vibrator? And now H isn't getting any she just remembers, oh yeah, I still got a cat that I can cuddle to keep me warm at night. Mina is a cat; not a doormat. She finally gets over a stressful event and is happy. How dare you try to claim her back! H, I don't know who you are, but I pray I'll never meet you because you disgust me.
Mark Childers 3 weeks ago
Anyone with a pet who is willing to consider options where they can't take the pet don't consider them family. I would never give a pet back to people like that. I would even offer to board a pet indefinitely knowing they had to be away for a good reason and were coming back. But not to someone who rehomed one.
KatSaidWhat 3 weeks ago
You don't just give up a cat and then decide you want it back because your life went to s**t. Mina has a new life now, and a good one at that by the sounds of it. Sister can adopt a new cat. Or old cat from a shelter preferably.
sturmwesen 3 weeks ago
NTA..but people should transfer ownership in writing so the new owner has proof and the former owner realizes they give the pet up for good.
zims 3 weeks ago
The simple fact that H rehomed the cat instead of asking someone to watch it until they settled into the new place tells it all. If they hadn't broken up with their boyfriend and moved, would they be asking for the cat back? No. Things fell apart so now that they're back they're trying to reclaim their old life. But just like you aren't guaranteed your old job or apartment back, you aren't guaranteed an animal you gave up. It sucks that she's alone, but she made her choices.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 3 weeks ago (edited)
When I moved back to my home state, my ex husband/family and dog were staying with my dad. My ex is an abusive POS and I kicked him out and filed for divorce. At the time I was working 2 part time jobs and going to nursing school, while my pup was stuck inside most of the day. I felt awful because I didn't have the time that she truly deserves, so I ended up asking my Uncle take her in. It was heartbreaking, even though I knew that was best for her, since my uncle is disabled and doesn't work and had/has kids at home still for my pup to play with. I rescued her from a shelter in 2014 and they estimated she was around a year or so old. She is such an amazing sweet girl and I love being able to go visit her. I live about 15-20 minutes away from my uncle's house now and I'm so grateful for him taking her in for me and I know it was best for my dog. I could never try and take her back, even though I've been in a position to do so. I love her and put her needs first.
Xenia Harley 3 weeks ago
There is a stray hold on dogs, in most states, but not on cats. My friend was a humane officer and she said cats are considered yours even after a day, if you don't want to give them back! Mina is not a toy, and this owner should only have a stuffed toy, not a living breathing cat! She should not get the cat back after months and saying she was rehoming the cat! That's not how ownership works! It isn't until it's convenient for you!
UncleJohn3000 3 weeks ago (edited)
I asked the 8 week old kitten sleeping in the crook of my elbow and she purred, "How does this affect me?" 8 weeks old and already a cat.
Orange Panda 3 weeks ago
H chose to move somewhere that didn't allow cats. Of all of the places that do, she chose the one that didn't. That was her decision, OP keeping MIna, as agreed, is the consequence of that choice.
Aelin Wildfire 1 day ago
If you -truly- had no choice but to move somewhere where pets are not allowed, that would be one thing, but if you're just moving to be with your partner... Your pets' lives literally revolve around you: leaving them means you're rocking their world to the core, and you better have a damn good reason to do it.
Nikki Angulo 2 weeks ago
When my Niece and Nephew were still young, some idiot called CFS (Canadian version of CPS) on my brother and his wife because of some pictures my sister in law posted on FB of their apartment (this person had never been in their home, so why they were even listened to I have no idea.) The CPS person couldn’t find any issues, but they did say they had to get rid of their Guinea pig. Sister in law couldn’t understand why since it had its own cage in a separate room from the bedrooms. They also had cats and a dog, but those were fine apparently! Just the Guinea pig. So they gave him away. A short time later, they bought a house, and they found out that the guy who they gave the Guinea pig to wasn’t really caring for him, wasn’t even clipping his nails. Sister in law offered to take him back, and the guy wanted $500! The care for the Guinea pig wouldn’t have cost anywhere near that amount for the time he had it. The people in this story made an effort with the cat, took care of her NTA
kath morgan 3 weeks ago
A friend had this happen; she adopted two kittens from an advert at the vet, a woman who willingly gave them up. A couple of months later (after neutering, etc… ofc), they called and said they changed their mind. They missed the cats and wanted them back. She said no and they started sending videos and voicemails of them crying about how sad they were without these cats (that again, they willingly adopted out). People are so weird.
Gozer LeGozerian 3 weeks ago (edited)
If she truly felt that way, she would've taken the cat with her and not dumped it because she chose a boyfriend over her cat, who should have been family. Must be a lonely world, your place of argument.
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