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The Internet Stands Up For This Woman Who Refused To Pay For Gender Reveal Cupcakes
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The Internet Stands Up For This Woman Who Refused To Pay For Gender Reveal Cupcakes

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Sooner or later, you’ll run into a situation where you’re likely to feel guilty, even if you’ve seemingly done nothing wrong. In those cases, asking for a bit of advice from some strangers can help settle any inner debates you might have. That’s exactly what redditor u/AITACupcakesRuined did.

The mom-to-be turned to the AITA online community for their verdict on a sensitive situation involving a dog, a box of delicious cupcakes, and a baker who had spent a lot of money on the ingredients and tons of time in the kitchen. The OP explained why she refused to pay for the gender reveal cupcakes in a now-viral post. Scroll down for the full story, and to see how the internet reacted to it.

Bored Panda reached out to pie artist Jessica Leigh Clark-Bojin, the founder of Pies Are Awesome and a published author, to hear her thoughts on how rising ingredient costs are affecting bakers, and what the correct etiquette for a professional is if the baked goods end up ruined on their watch. You’ll find our full interview with the baking expert as you read on.

A batch of gender reveal cupcakes recently led to a small disagreement between a client and a baker

Image credits: shc0605 (not the actual photo)

The mom-to-be revealed how the cupcakes got ruined when she came to pick them up

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Image credits: Maksim Goncharenok (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)

Image credits: AITACupcakesRuined

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The woman felt guilty enough for refusing to pay that she turned to the internet for advice

Redditor u/AITACupcakesRuined’s story was very popular and had 18k upvotes at the time of writing. It’s rare enough to see an AITA post that isn’t over-dramatized for the sake of getting more attention. It’s very clear that the mom-to-be is a very empathetic person who, nonetheless, thought that it was important to stick to her principles: the cupcakes were ruined and she shouldn’t have to pay for them, even though she empathizes with the baker.

However, it was the baker’s own dog who jumped on the client and forced her to drop the box of gorgeous cupcakes on the ground, ruining them. The baker, being kind, offered to remake the cupcakes, but for a date that didn’t work for the OP.

Unfortunately, the redditor had to refuse payment. She went ahead with the gender reveal party and had a lovely time without any cupcakes. After all, what truly matters is spending time with the people you love—your family and friends. (Though sweet treats are always a plus!)

Nonetheless, the mom-to-be still felt a tad guilty about not paying the baker who had spent quite a bit of money on the cupcake ingredients. That’s why she’d shared her story with the AITA crowd, hoping for some more clarity. The vast majority of internet users were completely on the mom-to-be’s side and explained that she did nothing wrong. Bored Panda has reached out to the mom-to-be via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.

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Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)

Gender reveal parties are a slightly controversial topic

However, a few redditors had some issues with the fact that u/AITACupcakesRuined had a gender reveal party at all. They honed in on that particular issue and instantly judged the woman, instead of focusing on the whole dog-cupcake-baker-payment situation which was the entire point of the post.

Society is split on the topic of gender reveal parties—get-togethers where the parents-to-be share the gender of their child to a crowd of their nearest and dearest. This might involve cutting a cake to see what color is on the inside (pink for girls, blue for boys), popping balloons, or… biting into a cupcake with a particular color on the inside. For some, it’s simply an excuse to spend time with the people they like and just a theme for a small party. For others, it’s a way to show off in a grandiose fashion.

And while some see these parties as problematic, others think that it’s important not to be overly dramatic about such simple things. Broadly speaking, so long as these parties aren’t putting anyone in direct danger, people should be allowed to have a little bit of joy in their lives without being instantly criticized.

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However, some parents have gone completely overboard with their gender reveal parties. So much so that they’ve literally caused massive damage to property, life, and the local landscape. The BBC reports that in September 2020, a smoke bomb at a gender reveal event started the El Dorado fire which lasted for 2 months and covered more than 22k acres in California. The long and short of it is that if you do decide to do any kind of gender reveal event, keep it low-key and simple. Focus on cupcakes, not smoke bombs, people.

Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual photo)

The price of eggs has risen dramatically around the globe

Though the mom-to-be clearly did nothing wrong by refusing payment in the story, it’s still possible to feel bad for the baker. The cost of ingredients used in baking has been rising wildly all over the globe. Eggs, in particular, are a huge headache for people everywhere.

The Guardian reports that the cost of eggs in the UK has grown by a whopping 32.5%. Meanwhile, the cost of hot cross buns grew by 18.3%. And if you thought that you could substitute regular British eggs for chocolate ones around Easter, you wouldn’t be saving all that much: the price of chocolate has risen by 11.6% over the past year.

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It’s not just Brits who are suffering from this eggpocalypse. In the US, egg prices had gone up more than 60% in December 2022. So more and more people have taken to smuggling this food staple across the border. However, those attempting to smuggle eggs from Canada or Mexico, where they’re far cheaper, can get fined up to $10,000. The BBC noted in January that egg seizures at American border posts had increased by 100%.

Meanwhile, moving further around the globe to Japan, bird flu has led to a shortage of eggs and forced the cost of dishes that use the ingredient soaring. A staple in the Japanese diet has almost become a luxury now. The wholesale price of eggs has grown by over 70% in the past year in the country.

So, taking all of this into account, what are your thoughts about redditor u/AITACupcakesRuined’s story? Do you think the mom-to-be was in the right or do you think she should have reimbursed the baker, even if the cupcakes got wrecked? Share your thoughts in the comments! And if you’re a baker, we’d like to hear how you’re dealing with higher ingredient costs.

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Image credits: Monserrat Soldú (not the actual photo)

Growing ingredient costs have affected bakers a lot

Pie artist Jessica, @thePieous, was candid with Bored Panda that rising ingredient costs are having a massive impact on bakers, especially cottage industry home bakers. “They suddenly find themselves in the unenviable position of having to either absorb the extra cost of the ingredients into their existing price structure and have their (often razor-thin) profits take a massive hit, or to pass the extra cost onto their customer,” she explained the harsh dilemma facing them.

“The former often means they are working well below minimum wages for their efforts, and sometimes even at a loss. The latter means that their formerly loyal customers may no longer be able to justify the ‘luxury expense’ of custom baked goods. And let’s face it—at a time when many families are struggling to even afford groceries for their basic meals, that special custom birthday cake they had hoped to order for their dad’s retirement party or best friend’s baby shower may just be a bridge too far at an even slightly higher price point.”

The pie artist said that this is a real shame and she hopes that things will normalize in the near future. However, if things don’t improve soon, “it may be time to crack out those old Depression-era and Wartime cookbooks and start getting creative working with cheaper ingredients!”

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Image credits: Elina Fairytale (not the actual photo)

Professional bakers have the power to turn even disasters into PR opportunities

We wanted to shed some light on the ‘right’ way to approach messing up as a professional baker. Pie artist Jessica was kind enough to share her thoughts on the correct etiquette when major mistakes happen. “If the baked goods your client ordered are ruined on your watch, I’m afraid you have no choice but to eat the loss (metaphorically, and perhaps literally),” the baking expert quipped.

“You contracted to provide a certain service at a certain time. If you’re unable to provide that service at that time, it sucks, but the client is under no obligation to pay you anything or agree to a do-over at a later date. You are certainly welcome to ask, and you may get lucky and have the client agree to an alternate solution… and if they do, make sure you go the extra mile in delivering that renegotiated service!”

Meanwhile, if your client’s order gets ruined at the very last minute, it can potentially have a huge negative impact on everyone involved. However, the pie artist told Bored Panda that there are some things that you can do to turn everything around. The baker can offer to correct the problem to the best of their ability, offer them a free future baked good, and compensate the client for the order. “Think of it as a marketing expenditure. When you ‘fail with class,’ you turn a potential disaster into a potential PR boon for your business,” the pie artist suggested looking at these tough situations as opportunities in disguise.

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Jessica walked Bored Panda through a potential scenario and how a true professional could try to solve a major problem. “A client has ordered a custom Superman cake for their son’s 5th birthday party happening in two hours. As you are bringing the cake out to their car, you trip and smoosh the cake into the driveway. Disaster!” she said that there are three steps that you can then take.

The first step is acknowledging that what happened is bad and then apologizing to the client. The second step is finding an immediate solution to the issue. “Tell the client that you will drive to the grocery store right now, buy a store bought cake, scrape the icing off the top, pipe a new Superman logo on top, and personally deliver it to their party within the hour.” The final step would be to compensate the client for all the trouble. “Tell the client you will refund their money immediately, and email them a coupon for a free 6 pack of cupcakes to acknowledge the pain and stress your mistake has caused them,” Jessica said.

“Do all of this calmly and decisively, and with good grace, and you just may turn your ‘worst ever Yelp review’ into your best source of referrals and repeat customers ever! (And then watch out for that crack on the sidewalk next time…)”

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Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

The mom-to-be shared some more context about the cupcake situation in the comments of her viral post

Most internet users were on the woman’s side. Here’s what they told her

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Read less »
Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Author, BoredPanda staff

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Austėja Akavickaitė

Austėja Akavickaitė

Author, Community member

Read more »

Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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Austėja Akavickaitė

Austėja Akavickaitė

Author, Community member

Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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Kate Fei
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would take the ruined cupcakes to eat them with my hubby (instead of giving them to my guests) and I would offer to pay half the price (to balance the costs of the ingredients).

nixoloco
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a good compromise, but also.. if they just hit the top of the inside of the box, how hard would it be to just redo the icing on top of 12 cup cakes? I guess that presumes she still has extra frosting.

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miameows
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, I don't really want to buy cupcakes from a house with an unruly dog. My house - there is most likely cat hair in ALL the food (lol) but I am not trying to sell it. I don't know, keep your pets separate from your food business. lol yuck.

MR
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just absurd. If you can't deliver on time, why would you expect to be paid for your work? Your dog ruin the products. The gall of her even asking for money let alone trying to guilt your customer of your expenses. You knew your dog was an issue, you took the risk by letting it around your dog. This is the cost of doing business this way.

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Kate Fei
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would take the ruined cupcakes to eat them with my hubby (instead of giving them to my guests) and I would offer to pay half the price (to balance the costs of the ingredients).

nixoloco
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a good compromise, but also.. if they just hit the top of the inside of the box, how hard would it be to just redo the icing on top of 12 cup cakes? I guess that presumes she still has extra frosting.

Load More Replies...
miameows
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, I don't really want to buy cupcakes from a house with an unruly dog. My house - there is most likely cat hair in ALL the food (lol) but I am not trying to sell it. I don't know, keep your pets separate from your food business. lol yuck.

MR
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just absurd. If you can't deliver on time, why would you expect to be paid for your work? Your dog ruin the products. The gall of her even asking for money let alone trying to guilt your customer of your expenses. You knew your dog was an issue, you took the risk by letting it around your dog. This is the cost of doing business this way.

Load More Comments
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