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“AITA For Not Letting My MIL Babysit My Daughter?”
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“AITA For Not Letting My MIL Babysit My Daughter?”

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Most moms try their best when it comes to raising their little ones, hoping that the decisions they make will lead to one healthy and happy baby.

This mom, for instance, decided that she wants her child to be breastfed exclusively. Yet, her mother-in-law went against her wishes, because of a reason quite a few netizens found absurd at best. Be that as it may, the woman’s husband chose to side with his mother.

Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with a registered dietitian-nutritionist, specializing in lifecycle nutrition, Jane Burrell, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.

RELATED:

    Women do not always see eye to eye with mothers-in-law when it comes to raising children

    Image credits: Oană Andrei (not the actual image)

    This woman couldn’t believe her MIL’s reason for choosing formula over breast milk

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    Image credits: nd3000 (not the actual image)

    Image credits: [deleted]

    No two kids are the same, so what works for one might not work for the other

    No two moms or babies are the same, so it’s clear that what works for one might not work for the other. For instance, if Susan’s toddler couldn’t be happier eating their veggies—a rare case in the toddler world—Anna Marie’s little one might scream bloody murder just at the sight of broccoli alone.

    The mom in the story decided that what’s best for her child is being breastfed; and she likely had her reasons, as do the mothers who opt for formulas instead. But her mother-in-law’s reason for refusing to give breast milk to her grandchild didn’t seem to be based on anything other than a bizarre belief.

    In a recent interview with Bored Panda, registered dietitian-nutritionist, Jane Burrell noted that both breastmilk and infant formula are viable options for feeding a baby. “But breast milk has a few components that make it the best choice,” she suggested.

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    “Breast milk is nutritionally balanced for an infant and provides nutrients in the most absorbable or usable forms,” the expert pointed out. “It contains enzymes that help the infant digest the lipids and proteins in an efficient way. It has bioactive compounds, like immunoglobulins that cannot be added to formula that enhance an infant’s immunity and reduce their risk of bacterial or viral illnesses.

    “It also contains specialized proteins that help an infant absorb vitamins and minerals that support healthy growth and development. Breastfed infants also have lower rates of chronic illness or auto-immune conditions throughout their life and may be protective against food allergies and healthier body weights.”

    Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)

    Breast milk contains numerous benefits, making it healthy for the baby and is not ‘dirty’ as the MIL believes

    Despite all of the benefits that breast milk has, the OP’s mother-in-law deemed it dirty; and while that might not be a common one, there are many myths surrounding breastfeeding, which are simply not true. On their official website, UNICEF Parenting busted quite a few of them, such as that you should always wash your nipples before breastfeeding or that you should only eat plain food during that period. Have you heard that exercise will affect the taste of your milk? Well, that’s also proven not to be true.

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    “Breastfeeding practices have changed throughout history with the lowest rates in the 1970s when infant formulas were marketed as more nutritious, safer, and convenient. Public health and nutrition research has demonstrated the opposite is true,” Burrell told Bored Panda, discussing the possible reasons for why and how incorrect myths are born.

    “In the case of the mother-in-law, time and social norms may be impacting her beliefs about formula feeding,” the expert continued, adding that her views may be related to the social norms when she had her own children. “As noted above, breastfeeding is associated with better overall health and lower rates of infection and illness and is therefore not a ‘dirty’ food, but a magnificent orchestration of nature that is life sustaining and health promoting.”

    The reason children hate certain foods likely lies in the natural chemistry of their mouths

    For those choosing to breastfeed their little stork-delivered wonder, it might be unclear when exactly to stop doing that, as… surprise surprise – that, too, tends to differ with each child; not all of them are equally eager to start snacking on solid foods.

    But when they do, some foods prove to be way tastier than others (the aforementioned broccoli is a common butt of the joke for a reason). And it shows; it’s pretty evident that kids’ faces are great indicators of what they do and do not like.

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    Researchers have found that an answer to why that is arguably lies in the natural chemistry of the human mouth. Newsweek reports that a team of Australian researchers found that certain bacteria that live inside a child’s mouth, called the “oral microbiome”, affect the chemical reactions determining what certain vegetables taste like.

    According to the lead author of the study, Damian Frank, chewing broccoli, for instance, exposes chemical compounds to bacteria, which produce sulfur compounds. The latter can then build up in kids’ mouths and impact their perception of flavor, as the more sulfur compounds are found in their mouths, the more they reportedly hate said food.

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    Image credits: AMSW Photography -Alisha Smith Watkins (not the actual image)

    Fellow redditors didn’t think that the OP was a jerk, but they did criticize her husband and her mother-in-law

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    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Read less »
    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Dominyka

    Dominyka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, crafting captivating visual content to enhance every reader's experience. Sometimes my mornings are spent diving into juicy dramas, while afternoons are all about adding extra laughs to the world by editing the funniest memes around. My favorite part of the job? Choosing the perfect images to illustrate articles. It's like imagining a story as a movie in my mind and selecting the key shots to tell the story visually.

    Read less »

    Dominyka

    Dominyka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, crafting captivating visual content to enhance every reader's experience. Sometimes my mornings are spent diving into juicy dramas, while afternoons are all about adding extra laughs to the world by editing the funniest memes around. My favorite part of the job? Choosing the perfect images to illustrate articles. It's like imagining a story as a movie in my mind and selecting the key shots to tell the story visually.

    What do you think ?
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    POST
    Katchen
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine the HOURS this woman spent pumping, only for her milk to be poured down the drain.

    lenka
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You dont have a MIL problem. You have a husband problem.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mothers who have sex? The last woman to become a mother (allegedly) without having sex was 2024 years ago.

    Enuya
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the MIL meant having sex after birth. Imagine, having sex for *pleasure* not to procreate? And with her (MIL's) *little boy* who only should have his mummy in his heart? Outrageous! The OP seems to be a peak of immorality. /s

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why has no one pointed out the simple solution that she smiles at the husband, and agrees like a good little wife,. "Of course dear. I am so sorry I hadn't realised. Please inform your mother that my body and milk will be pure from now on. You and I will have so much more time and energy to get more done round the house now that we're not bothering with sex again."

    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And usually, it's only the women who are perceived to be 'dirty' for having sex - by their own gender, too. Religion in the mix makes it 1000 times as bad.

    Load More Replies...
    martin734
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This absolute lunacy does have an obvious solution though. The wife could of course choose to stop "polluting" her breast milk by having sex and implementing a no sex rule until her child is ready to eat normal food, or until the husband realises how insane his mother is and stops being an invertebrate, whichever happens first.

    Ge Po
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only lucky the baby isn't allergic to any of the formula ingredients. Does MIL know most formula is made with ingredients that come from cow-milk? Does she have any idea where those cows have been? Who's making that milk and how much easier formula can be contaminated than mothers milk? Formula is a good alternative if mother's milk is not an option, but it is generally known that mother's milk is of better quality and therefore healthier than formula. If this is actually really about her DIL having intercourse with her son, there's something weird going on in her mind. (A healthy amount of physical) intimacy is good for the relationship between mom and dad, as it decreases stress, therefore good for the baby. Mother's milk has nothing to do with that, except for the fact that it's quality may increase as stress levels sink.

    Robert T
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell your husband that sex is off the menu until he deals with the MIL. ;-)

    Judy Takács
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your MIL is an evil and deranged woman. NEVER trust her with your grandchild ever. Your husband needs to realize this and be on your side, and the side of your child 100%. The only risk of divorce is that your MIL may end up being alone with your child at some point, and she's a danger. Her thinking is the kind of twisted ideas that sociopaths have to justify doing evil things. Be careful, please.

    H. B. Nielsen
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poll is just as frustrating as the rest. The correct answer of whatever the parents decide is missing.

    Judes
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Given that she believes sex polutes the body, you could have fun asking MIL about her STD.

    ADDchallengedINFP-T
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unbelievable. So the child was not conceived without original sin or its stain? But normal reproduction way. Which is "dirty" in MIL's mind. How did she produce her son? MIL and the husband, both HUGE A..holes.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fairly sure this borders on child abuse of some sort. Mom and husband need to either get on board or GTFO.

    Andrew Arons
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is a couple of big burly orderlies carting away the mother-in-law with butterfly nets an option?

    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her MIL is a hateful and uneducated B. And her husband is a failure as a man for not standing up for her.

    firecrackershrimp
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Easy solution tell the hubby no sex till the baby is done breastfeeding.... That'll fix them both

    R.C.
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. I'm not even a parent and reading this infuriated me.

    Mrs. EW
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are so many mils like this? I was in labor for 30 hrs and ended up having a c-section. I fell asleep right after. Instead of waking me up to feed my son, my mother in law insisted they give him a bottle. She and my hubs knew it was against my wishes. He wouldn’t latch on. He would cry because my milk wasn’t coming out as fast as the bottle. I gave up trying after 3 months and him not gaining enough weight. She was against breastfeeding and wanted everyone to feed him bottles. She got her way.

    Janis McClure
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's is for MIL! The audacity of that woman (I'm being nice). Pumping isn't pleasant and sometimes difficult, but we do it for our baby. Husband would never hear the end of it and honestly, if he's not supportive and reinging his mama in...then he can take his ssa on and go live with her. He's a problem and y'all wouldn't be stressing me out. I set boundaries from the start and my husband knew my BS tolerance level was -0.

    LonelyLittleLeafSheep
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can bet the red flags that he was a momma's boy were there BEFORE they married. She should have run then. A lot less messy.

    Load More Replies...
    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Keep her far away from your baby and tell her mammas boy husband to grow a spine. It’s your baby and his mother has absolutely no say in how her feed your baby. Your husband is a mammas boy and always will be.

    Craig Reynolds
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time to give her husband an ultimatum. He takes her side without any backtalk and shuts his mom down, or she will consult a lawyer for legal advice. Couples need to learn that once they get married, their spouse comes before their own parents or anyone else. If they can't accept that, they should not get married. This is a discussion that should happen BEFORE they get married to make sure both are on the same page. Do not just assume you are.

    Craig Reynolds
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The husband is an absolute AH for not supporting Op. It's ultimatum time! Either he immediately supports his wife and shuts his mom down immediately or he can go back to his mom permanently. MIL gets no say in anything because it's not her kid. She already raised one and failed at it.

    michelle s
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure if the OP told her husband if that is how it works and you want your mum to still babysit for us. How about no sex time for you?

    Elizabeth Smith
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    these stories make me glad that we wrote my mother in law off years ago..i would come unglued. i cant imagine how much time and love went into pumping all that milk, just for jealous mil to dump it out. when my boys eventually (hopefully) marry and have children, i would never ever treat their wives, the mother of my grandchildren, in such a disrespectful way.

    Katchen
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine the HOURS this woman spent pumping, only for her milk to be poured down the drain.

    lenka
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You dont have a MIL problem. You have a husband problem.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mothers who have sex? The last woman to become a mother (allegedly) without having sex was 2024 years ago.

    Enuya
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the MIL meant having sex after birth. Imagine, having sex for *pleasure* not to procreate? And with her (MIL's) *little boy* who only should have his mummy in his heart? Outrageous! The OP seems to be a peak of immorality. /s

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why has no one pointed out the simple solution that she smiles at the husband, and agrees like a good little wife,. "Of course dear. I am so sorry I hadn't realised. Please inform your mother that my body and milk will be pure from now on. You and I will have so much more time and energy to get more done round the house now that we're not bothering with sex again."

    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And usually, it's only the women who are perceived to be 'dirty' for having sex - by their own gender, too. Religion in the mix makes it 1000 times as bad.

    Load More Replies...
    martin734
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This absolute lunacy does have an obvious solution though. The wife could of course choose to stop "polluting" her breast milk by having sex and implementing a no sex rule until her child is ready to eat normal food, or until the husband realises how insane his mother is and stops being an invertebrate, whichever happens first.

    Ge Po
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only lucky the baby isn't allergic to any of the formula ingredients. Does MIL know most formula is made with ingredients that come from cow-milk? Does she have any idea where those cows have been? Who's making that milk and how much easier formula can be contaminated than mothers milk? Formula is a good alternative if mother's milk is not an option, but it is generally known that mother's milk is of better quality and therefore healthier than formula. If this is actually really about her DIL having intercourse with her son, there's something weird going on in her mind. (A healthy amount of physical) intimacy is good for the relationship between mom and dad, as it decreases stress, therefore good for the baby. Mother's milk has nothing to do with that, except for the fact that it's quality may increase as stress levels sink.

    Robert T
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell your husband that sex is off the menu until he deals with the MIL. ;-)

    Judy Takács
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your MIL is an evil and deranged woman. NEVER trust her with your grandchild ever. Your husband needs to realize this and be on your side, and the side of your child 100%. The only risk of divorce is that your MIL may end up being alone with your child at some point, and she's a danger. Her thinking is the kind of twisted ideas that sociopaths have to justify doing evil things. Be careful, please.

    H. B. Nielsen
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poll is just as frustrating as the rest. The correct answer of whatever the parents decide is missing.

    Judes
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Given that she believes sex polutes the body, you could have fun asking MIL about her STD.

    ADDchallengedINFP-T
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unbelievable. So the child was not conceived without original sin or its stain? But normal reproduction way. Which is "dirty" in MIL's mind. How did she produce her son? MIL and the husband, both HUGE A..holes.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fairly sure this borders on child abuse of some sort. Mom and husband need to either get on board or GTFO.

    Andrew Arons
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is a couple of big burly orderlies carting away the mother-in-law with butterfly nets an option?

    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her MIL is a hateful and uneducated B. And her husband is a failure as a man for not standing up for her.

    firecrackershrimp
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Easy solution tell the hubby no sex till the baby is done breastfeeding.... That'll fix them both

    R.C.
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. I'm not even a parent and reading this infuriated me.

    Mrs. EW
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are so many mils like this? I was in labor for 30 hrs and ended up having a c-section. I fell asleep right after. Instead of waking me up to feed my son, my mother in law insisted they give him a bottle. She and my hubs knew it was against my wishes. He wouldn’t latch on. He would cry because my milk wasn’t coming out as fast as the bottle. I gave up trying after 3 months and him not gaining enough weight. She was against breastfeeding and wanted everyone to feed him bottles. She got her way.

    Janis McClure
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's is for MIL! The audacity of that woman (I'm being nice). Pumping isn't pleasant and sometimes difficult, but we do it for our baby. Husband would never hear the end of it and honestly, if he's not supportive and reinging his mama in...then he can take his ssa on and go live with her. He's a problem and y'all wouldn't be stressing me out. I set boundaries from the start and my husband knew my BS tolerance level was -0.

    LonelyLittleLeafSheep
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can bet the red flags that he was a momma's boy were there BEFORE they married. She should have run then. A lot less messy.

    Load More Replies...
    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Keep her far away from your baby and tell her mammas boy husband to grow a spine. It’s your baby and his mother has absolutely no say in how her feed your baby. Your husband is a mammas boy and always will be.

    Craig Reynolds
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time to give her husband an ultimatum. He takes her side without any backtalk and shuts his mom down, or she will consult a lawyer for legal advice. Couples need to learn that once they get married, their spouse comes before their own parents or anyone else. If they can't accept that, they should not get married. This is a discussion that should happen BEFORE they get married to make sure both are on the same page. Do not just assume you are.

    Craig Reynolds
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The husband is an absolute AH for not supporting Op. It's ultimatum time! Either he immediately supports his wife and shuts his mom down immediately or he can go back to his mom permanently. MIL gets no say in anything because it's not her kid. She already raised one and failed at it.

    michelle s
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure if the OP told her husband if that is how it works and you want your mum to still babysit for us. How about no sex time for you?

    Elizabeth Smith
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    these stories make me glad that we wrote my mother in law off years ago..i would come unglued. i cant imagine how much time and love went into pumping all that milk, just for jealous mil to dump it out. when my boys eventually (hopefully) marry and have children, i would never ever treat their wives, the mother of my grandchildren, in such a disrespectful way.

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