I'd love to her this story again, but retold by the brother, and then the sister-in-law. I suspect it might be different in each retelling.

A relatively young, married couple let her (28 years old) stay with them for over 6 months and only asked her to leave when they needed the room to start their own family. They tried dropping lots of hints and when she ignored them they had direct conversations with her about leaving and she still didn't get a move on - her own behaviour is what lead to the packing of the bags. I get that she doesn't want her peace disturbed now but she has no right to be salty about being kicked out of her brothers house.

She clearly overstayed her welcome by a mile, refused to look for options when asked and was Picachu-faced when evicted. There is more to this story.

There's a world of difference between taking in an adult and a family with two small children

I don't think OP is the AH either way. If she wants to help nices/newphews and brother, fine, but sign a lease. You can do it for a nominal amount, but it means there is some legal protection for all parties and will set boundaries. (Check lease in advance though, usually you've already signed something abiut how long and how many guests can stay.). Personally, I wouldn't let them stay, but probably clouded judgement due to my own SIL.

Why doesn't she just tell them her landlord won't allow an extra 4 people in her small apartment? When I rented, it was supposed to be a place for one person only. If I wanted to have a guest stay, they could only stay for two weeks. No one else was allowed to live with me unless my landlord OKed it and he would raise the rent considerably if that happened.

No, but Hell No. Under no circumstances do you allow them to move in with you. If they wanted you out that bad they should have set a date not hinting. Why the rush having a baby is not a state of emergency. The baby could have shared a room with them in a bassinet until she moved out on the agreed upon date.

Once again I don't understand the YTA comments. The OP when living with brother was helping with groceries and household chores. It doesn't sound like she was being a freeloader. And really SIL needs to apologize cause the way it was handled and OP ending up couching surfing wasn't good. It takes time to save up for a first apt rental. There is typically 1st months, last month and security deposit. Also 4 people in what is probably a 1 bedroom apartment? Nope. OP IS nTA amd there needs to be another idea here. The parents and in-laws need to help. Also brother didn't just get evicted out of the blue.

NTA; sounds like they have a ton of people TELLING you that you should take them in; so they have other options. There are actually programs for people with children. You're a single female; they're an entire family. You did your best to help when you were with them and they kicked you out without giving you a chance to fully get back on your feet though it was only ONE of you. How hard do you think it will be for you with 5 people around until they're able to move out. NO. There are no bonds there; no one has apologized or even acknowledged their unfairness to you in the past. You are ONE person. Take care of yourself, so you never nave this happen to you again. As I've said, they have children, there are programs for that.

I do think they really help you, although how the go you out was wrong, I do think you needed to try harder, because they needed your room for their baby, and you didn't seem to be doing enough. BUT, if they move in, they will take over because they have two children and you're not on great terms with Karen. They will without a doubt stay way longer and feel entitled, and getting someone out that has children will be a nightmare. I'd say ETA but what they're asking is WAAAAAAY more than you did! I don't think you're bad at all, even with what I said at the beginning. You were stuck, simple! It's completely different when it's a whole family that wants to move in. I wouldn't, but you'll expect a backlash, even though you are right to say no. Good luck OP!

Pregnancy is hard. If OP had a good job, it makes sense Karen would be getting anxious. Personally I would directly ask for an apology and base decision on that.

She overstayed her welcome, and now harbors bad feelings against her brother and his wife? I agree your place is too small to handle all those folks, but having them stay for 2 weeks or so is reasonable. Let the bad feelings go. You have no idea what they were going through.

Boy, do I feel this one. I had hit some bad financial times several years ago -- nothing to do with COVID, although that started a couple of years into my ordeal. First I stayed with one brother and worked a crappy, low-paying job in the area until his wife urged him to urge me to move out. Then another brother offered his place to stay. I moved in with brother #2 right when COVID hit. Nobody in the area was hiring, of course -- not even minimum wage jobs. I applied like crazy to jobs for which I'd been trained, back in the city where I'd previously lived. But wife of brother #2 apparently didn't think I was trying hard enough, and (via her husband) gave me an ultimatum that I had a month to move out. This woman also treated me rudely most of my time there, despite me helping out with chores whenever I could. And she never apologized, either -- in fact, I'm certain she thinks she didn't do anything wrong. It's been a couple of years since then, but I'm still not ready to forgive her.

If she lets them in, she will be lucky to get a vote in anything that happens under her own roof. They will insist on their own way about everything and completely take over.

There's a massive difference between taking in one person and taking in a whole family with kids. Particularly when you clearly do not care for SIL at all. Sounds like a bad idea to me.

Best refusal reason, the lease agreement with the landlord. I know ours is very specific about who can live there and even how long (or really how short) a time they can stay.

I think she is being a vindictive AH. She has control now and is loving making her brother and SIL miserable. She needs to draw up a simple tenant agreement outlining rent, chores, etc. OP was given hints, had direct conversations and should have been looking for a place to live. Her SIL could have handled it differently, but it sounds like OP had "selective hearing" when it came to the subject of finding another place to live. Bottom line, OP should have been given a deadline to move out instead of being "thrown out". Let brother, SIL and kids move in and don't make the same mistake. Get it in writing and LEARN TO CONVERSE so you each know what the other is talking about.

NTA. My husband and I are in our 60s and successful. His mother is turning 88 and still lives independently. My sisters-in-law got repo-d out of their house (one has not worked for over 15 years since she broke her leg and neglected to follow through on the physical therapy. The other fell and broke her back, fell behind on the mortgage, and couldn't keep it together financially when her job downgraded her functions and salary because of the back injury.) They now live with his mother and are more work for her than she needs. They were also hoarders and have filled up her beautiful house with all of their c**p. I only tell this story because you already think you know how it'll be. Trust your reasoning. Be strong. Be assertive. Do not be passive aggressive. You do not have to cop to the grudge. That's old news. You have newer, better reasons, and have offered to help in a much more positive, healthy way. Whether or not they see you as the a$$hole, you are in the right.

Perhaps OP can visit a lawyer, after SIL apologizes and actually means it. The lawyer can draw up a contract outlining terms and timelines they can live with her, say X number of months, and add a caveat THEY HAVE TO BE OUT BY THIS DATE NO EXCEPTIONS in appropriate legal language so they agree they MUST LEAVE BY X DATE and OP will start official eviction proceedings if they violate it and are subject to the equivalent in rent time and utility/internet costs for the entire time they lived there retroactively to the move in date, plus her legal fees if she has to evict them. Stipulations should include: 1. OP will do no childcare, they must clean up after themselves 2. respect her privacy 3. purchase their own groceries & cleaning products First violation of ANY of these pushes the move out date up by a month, second offense forces them to move in 30 days. Brother and his wife must both sign & date it with their own legal representation. It needs to be a legal document.

She has offered to help them with getting their own place and they said no. A small apartment that has been rented out to a single person is not suitable for an extra family of four.

I think that first YTA comment describes it perfectly.

I’m a little shocked by the NTA take on this,post. She is TA….. her bother and SIL took her in, she got a good job, they were about to have a baby and need a nursery, her brother offered financial help. I don’t see where the brother and SIL are the a*s#oles and deserve the scorn.