Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
103
“It’s So Hard To Make Friends”: Woman Breaks Down After Throwing Lavish Party That No One Went To
A woman tearfully shared the disappointing outcome of a party she had organized in an attempt to bond with potential new friends.
Taking to her TikTok page on December 29, Beka Gillis uploaded a video in which she revealed that nearly all of the friends she had invited to her vision board party canceled on her at the last minute.
Highlights
- A woman named Beka Gillis saw all her guests cancel her vision board party last minute.
- After relocating, Beka struggled to find a community in Sacramento, USA.
- Beka's TikTok video amassed 1.3M views and received support.
In the now-viral clip, which has since amassed 1.3 million views, Beka exclaimed: “I’m so sad right now, bestie,” before admitting that she had sent out invitations to her event to 30 women six weeks in advance.
“It is just so hard to make friends and build community when you’re in your 30s and in a place you’re not from, and that’s just what I’m trying to do,” Beka said.
RELATED:
A woman tearfully shared the disappointing outcome of a party she had organized in an attempt to bond with potential new friends
Image credits: bekagillis
The 32-year-old wedding photographer had been hoping to bond with other women her age after relocating to Sacramento, California, from Atlanta, Georgia, USA.
Nevertheless, after spending “so much time and so much money preparing for this party,” only seven RSVPed.
Then, Beka faced even more negative news, as she explained in her video: “I woke up to five of them bailing this morning, and now the second to last one just texted and said they can’t make it either, so I have all this and no party.”
Image credits: bekagillis
The TikToker further explained: “It’s just discouraging. I don’t blame anyone. It’s just discouraging, and I’m sad because I just wanna build friendships and community so bad, and I just put in so much work to do it, and I’ve been trying for years doing stuff like this, and it just doesn’t seem to stick.”
She concluded: “I’m still gonna make my vision board though; we still got goals, we’re still gonna crush them. I’m just sad right now; I just need to cry.”
A vision board is a collage of images, words, and symbols that represent a person’s goals, dreams, and aspirations. It’s also known as a dream board or goal board.
Beka Gillis took to her TikTok page on December 29
Image credits: bekagillis
Hundreds of people consequently rushed to the video’s comments to express their support, with many offering to meet with Beka.
Others shared useful suggestions, as a TikTok user commented: “I would gather your things and call a woman’s shelter or nursing home and go enjoy time with them; I know it’s not what you wanted but it would totally make their day.”
A person wrote: “I think we’ve over normalized ‘I don’t feel like going, so I’m going to cancel’ I rarely want to go to the thing at the time of the thing.
Image credits: bekagillis
“But I am always thankful afterward that I made myself go.”
Someone else penned: “Do it virtually! We will join.”
“I appreciate your vulnerability so many of us have internalized this feeling, especially in our 30s, with similar experiences,” a netizen added. “You’ve gained so many besties.”
She revealed that nearly all of the friends she had invited to her vision board party canceled on her at the last minute
@bekagillisnot me posting on my stories about how excited i am for everyone to end up bailing 🥲♬ original sound – Beky from Lizzie McGuire
A commentator noted: “Maybe this was the universe saying- you are meant to do this on a bigger scale for EVERYONE who is just like you.
“Creating the virtual versions, incredible!!!”
A viewer stated: “I am an introvert and a homebody. This was a good message for me to hear.
Image credits: bekagillis
“I always think me not showing is not a big deal and no one will miss me, but if everyone feels that way this is what happens.”
A separate individual chimed in: “Normalize following through. I’m sorry that happened sis.”
Beka is reportedly single and has always desired to make deep connections in a community setting.
In the now-viral clip, which has since amassed 1.3 million views, Beka exclaimed: “I’m so sad right now, bestie”
Image credits: bekagillis
She told People on Friday (January 10): “I just feel like it’s so important. We weren’t meant to walk the world alone.
“I moved from Atlanta to Sacramento right after the pandemic. I had a wonderful community life I’d built in Atlanta and I was missing that.
“I got super depressed and in a dark hole for a few years, and I just started doing anything I could to climb back out of it.”
@bekagillis Replying to @Soul Alignment Mentor LLC ♬ original sound – Beky from Lizzie McGuire
In recent months, Beka had reportedly focused on trying to meet “other like-minded women” and found that while there were positive interactions at various events, the connections weren’t lasting beyond them.
She explained: “Everyone’s kind of settled with their friends and in their ways.
“And, you know, it’s understandable at a certain point in life, but it still sucks, you know?
After spending “so much time and so much money preparing for this party,” only seven RSVPed
Image credits: bekagillis
“But my mom has always said to me like, ‘If you can’t find it, go create it.’ And so, that was kind of what I was trying to do.”
Feeling discouraged after her vision board party fell through, Beka explained that she had turned to TikTok as an outlet and was subsequently overwhelmed by support from hundreds of commenters urging her to host a virtual gathering.
She ended up doing just that, and on Saturday (January 11), Beka hosted her first virtual vision board party on TikTok Live.
Image credits: bekagillis
In a new TikTok video, she announced that the virtual meeting had been a success and that she was already planning on hosting a second one.
“Not everyone has community,” Beka told People. “I like being the kind of person to connect people.”
She continued: “Not everyone puts themselves out there like I do or tries to talk to people.
Beka ended up organizing a virtual event
@bekagillisI’m shaking. I feel so honored. I can’t believe how quickly it’s filling up.♬ ur the secret recipe – david kushner
“Since I am able to do that, why not cultivate that space for them? It felt like a no-brainer.”
According to the Adulting Reddit community, there are several ways to make friends in your 30s.
While some suggested joining a class, others swore by volunteering or joining a book club.
Image credits: bekagillis
Moreover, a Redditor shared: “If you have a hobby that is done in groups, go do the hobby in public.
“It is the best ice breaker, and as things shake out, you find one or two worth hanging out with.
“I knit it took me 4 tries to find one where the average age was under 60.”
Bored Panda has contacted Beka for comment.
Beka’s video continued to draw positive feedback
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
Weltschmerz 1 week ago (edited)
I feel this. I struggle to make friends anyway due to my neurodivergence and I just want people to chill with, have a glass of wine with and a laugh! I don't know if it's just me or people are so much less receptive to friendship these days but it's really truly hard . I feel so lonely day to day. 😔
Featherytoad 1 week ago (edited)
We are a lot more uninhibited when we are young. When we get older, we are more self conscious. Basically, we are very much unabashed when we are young and don't really give a s**t. Fast forward 20 years and we are to scared to be ourselves because of scrutiny.
Load More Replies...
Schmebulock 1 week ago
You have better luck going out to make friends than having them over to your house. There is way more involved with going to someone's house than attending an event at a public place. Plus people at an event have already shown they are into that thing enough to leave their house for it.
Ms.GB 1 week ago
Yeah, joining a group or taking a fun class is a good way to meet people.
Load More Replies...
rainy_days (fae/faer) 1 week ago
If you don't like parties and don't want to come, don't RSVP yes in the first place? If you don't want to say 'i don't like party' you could very well be visiting family or something. White lies, but spare expectations. because 8people did NOT all have an emergency. I get not being into the people-ing thing, but there's a minimum of human decency and awareness to be had.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 week ago
This is a major reason why I've never really planned a party for myself. No one would come. :(
Kim Lee 1 week ago
The vision board is a red flag. You set your expectations too high. It's a fake life ~
JayWantsACat 6 days ago
I thought the same thing. Who throws a "vision board party" when trying to socialize with new friends or whatever? The people who RSVP'd and canceled are rude but setting this up as a party for people who aren't at least decently close is wild, to me.
Load More Replies...
Debbie 1 week ago
Just earlier today, i posted in my dancesschools whatsapp group if anyone else is interested in boardgames and would like to get together to play. There's 10 in the boardgamegeeks group chat now :) (Also at work I organize a game night about every month, it's about 5 attending on average and we have fun). Many people are scared to take the first step. Also, I have a free app where you can meet up with other people to do stuff together (meet5), like go hiking, have a coffee in town, a concert or whatever (in a public place). It's not a dating app, I like it a lot. No need to become best friends but you have people to hang out with.
JayWantsACat 6 days ago
It's rude to cancel last minute but "vision board party" sounds awful. I'm not blaming her for choosing what she wanted to do for the party but it doesn't sound that enticing to do with people you're not close with. And it kind of sounds a little MLM-ish, to be honest. Again, not her fault that people bailed on her after saying they'd attend but I think maybe just have a tea or wine party to begin with??
MindNumbinglyBoringJob 1 week ago (edited)
“Do it virtually! We will join.” HELL NO. That comment is what is wrong with society today. No one wants to make an effort to go out and socialize in person. The internet and social media are destroying society. Think about how long it has been around compared to society itself. Before it was invented people went out. They hung out with friends. The met new people. How fun is sitting alone in your apt virtually meeting people. How isolating. I suffer from social awkwardness and find going to these things stressful and I always want to cancel. But you know what it is never as nerve racking or awkward as I imagine it to be in my head. I am always glad I went.
gingepanda 1 week ago
she tried to meet people in person and they cancelled???? the commenters wanted to hang out to make her feel better and weren't in her direct vicinity?????? what do you recommend that they do, fly out to meet her????????
Load More Replies...
Elle Roque 1 week ago
“It literally had me in tears because I'm just a girlie that needs reassurance like most people in life.” is she 7?
Taibhse Sealgair 1 week ago
Up-voting this but would like to add: I had to look up what a vision board party was. "A vision board party is a hosted event where friends come together to share and express their goals creatively." This sounds like something we'd do at work! I simply don't care to "share and express my goals" with a bunch of strangers. I'd bail in a microsecond.
Load More Replies... Jane No Dough 1 week ago
I enjoy social interaction when it's one or maybe two other people, but anymore than that is a nogo. Unless it's an activity that I am helping to set up, organize, serve, or anything where I can be useful and not have to chitchat!
Dre Mosley 6 days ago
I had to Google "Vision Board Party" That doesn't even sound like a good time. Sounds like something you'd do at work in a conference room. Maybe it should have just been a relaxed, simple gathering. Meet up at a wine bar? Women's brunch?
Elwood Schwartz (it/that) 1 week ago
Friends are overrated. Personally, I can't stand other people.
Apatheist Account2 1 week ago
Scrap the "vision board" garbage and just have a social get-together.
Pencil 1 week ago
Why would you go out of your way to insult her idea? That you don't like vision boards doesn't make them garbage. Maybe try contributing to the vision of a less pointlessly hateful virtual world and keep comments like that to yourself.
Load More Replies...
Deborah Joanne 5 days ago
She should have invited Meghan Markle...that woman'd go to the opening of an envelope . .😁
Surly Scot 1 week ago
I stopped bothering to have parties, even birthday parties, no one would show up. Organized a surprise birthday for my ex-husband, invited over 100 of his army buddies, 2 people showed up. It's been like that for the 14yrs i've been in America, only made 1 friend in all that time that actually texts me back or checks in on me, and she's from Mexico. She has no non-Mexican friends here either as no one texts back/shows up for events. My roommate hasn't seen or heard from any of his friends in over a year despite reaching out. Americans are awful about maintaining connections. It usually goes: "Oh my god, you're so fun, I can't wait to hang out again!" and never hear from that person for the rest of your life.
aubergine10003 4 days ago
If I lived in Sacramento, I would be friends with this lovely person in a heart-fkin-beat.
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 6 days ago
I'm 44 and been friendless since I finished primary school. There's no such thing as real friends, or friendship. It's lonely, but I'd rather be lonely than hurt.
CP 1 week ago
Could you list me all the acceptable reasons to "cry" on the internet. I wasn't aware there was a list.
Load More Replies...
Weltschmerz 1 week ago (edited)
I feel this. I struggle to make friends anyway due to my neurodivergence and I just want people to chill with, have a glass of wine with and a laugh! I don't know if it's just me or people are so much less receptive to friendship these days but it's really truly hard . I feel so lonely day to day. 😔
Featherytoad 1 week ago (edited)
We are a lot more uninhibited when we are young. When we get older, we are more self conscious. Basically, we are very much unabashed when we are young and don't really give a s**t. Fast forward 20 years and we are to scared to be ourselves because of scrutiny.
Load More Replies... Schmebulock 1 week ago
You have better luck going out to make friends than having them over to your house. There is way more involved with going to someone's house than attending an event at a public place. Plus people at an event have already shown they are into that thing enough to leave their house for it.
Ms.GB 1 week ago
Yeah, joining a group or taking a fun class is a good way to meet people.
Load More Replies... rainy_days (fae/faer) 1 week ago
If you don't like parties and don't want to come, don't RSVP yes in the first place? If you don't want to say 'i don't like party' you could very well be visiting family or something. White lies, but spare expectations. because 8people did NOT all have an emergency. I get not being into the people-ing thing, but there's a minimum of human decency and awareness to be had.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 week ago
This is a major reason why I've never really planned a party for myself. No one would come. :(
Kim Lee 1 week ago
The vision board is a red flag. You set your expectations too high. It's a fake life ~
JayWantsACat 6 days ago
I thought the same thing. Who throws a "vision board party" when trying to socialize with new friends or whatever? The people who RSVP'd and canceled are rude but setting this up as a party for people who aren't at least decently close is wild, to me.
Load More Replies... Debbie 1 week ago
Just earlier today, i posted in my dancesschools whatsapp group if anyone else is interested in boardgames and would like to get together to play. There's 10 in the boardgamegeeks group chat now :) (Also at work I organize a game night about every month, it's about 5 attending on average and we have fun). Many people are scared to take the first step. Also, I have a free app where you can meet up with other people to do stuff together (meet5), like go hiking, have a coffee in town, a concert or whatever (in a public place). It's not a dating app, I like it a lot. No need to become best friends but you have people to hang out with.
JayWantsACat 6 days ago
It's rude to cancel last minute but "vision board party" sounds awful. I'm not blaming her for choosing what she wanted to do for the party but it doesn't sound that enticing to do with people you're not close with. And it kind of sounds a little MLM-ish, to be honest. Again, not her fault that people bailed on her after saying they'd attend but I think maybe just have a tea or wine party to begin with??
MindNumbinglyBoringJob 1 week ago (edited)
“Do it virtually! We will join.” HELL NO. That comment is what is wrong with society today. No one wants to make an effort to go out and socialize in person. The internet and social media are destroying society. Think about how long it has been around compared to society itself. Before it was invented people went out. They hung out with friends. The met new people. How fun is sitting alone in your apt virtually meeting people. How isolating. I suffer from social awkwardness and find going to these things stressful and I always want to cancel. But you know what it is never as nerve racking or awkward as I imagine it to be in my head. I am always glad I went.
gingepanda 1 week ago
she tried to meet people in person and they cancelled???? the commenters wanted to hang out to make her feel better and weren't in her direct vicinity?????? what do you recommend that they do, fly out to meet her????????
Load More Replies... Elle Roque 1 week ago
“It literally had me in tears because I'm just a girlie that needs reassurance like most people in life.” is she 7?
Taibhse Sealgair 1 week ago
Up-voting this but would like to add: I had to look up what a vision board party was. "A vision board party is a hosted event where friends come together to share and express their goals creatively." This sounds like something we'd do at work! I simply don't care to "share and express my goals" with a bunch of strangers. I'd bail in a microsecond.
Load More Replies... Jane No Dough 1 week ago
I enjoy social interaction when it's one or maybe two other people, but anymore than that is a nogo. Unless it's an activity that I am helping to set up, organize, serve, or anything where I can be useful and not have to chitchat!
Dre Mosley 6 days ago
I had to Google "Vision Board Party" That doesn't even sound like a good time. Sounds like something you'd do at work in a conference room. Maybe it should have just been a relaxed, simple gathering. Meet up at a wine bar? Women's brunch?
Elwood Schwartz (it/that) 1 week ago
Friends are overrated. Personally, I can't stand other people.
Apatheist Account2 1 week ago
Scrap the "vision board" garbage and just have a social get-together.
Pencil 1 week ago
Why would you go out of your way to insult her idea? That you don't like vision boards doesn't make them garbage. Maybe try contributing to the vision of a less pointlessly hateful virtual world and keep comments like that to yourself.
Load More Replies... Deborah Joanne 5 days ago
She should have invited Meghan Markle...that woman'd go to the opening of an envelope . .😁
Surly Scot 1 week ago
I stopped bothering to have parties, even birthday parties, no one would show up. Organized a surprise birthday for my ex-husband, invited over 100 of his army buddies, 2 people showed up. It's been like that for the 14yrs i've been in America, only made 1 friend in all that time that actually texts me back or checks in on me, and she's from Mexico. She has no non-Mexican friends here either as no one texts back/shows up for events. My roommate hasn't seen or heard from any of his friends in over a year despite reaching out. Americans are awful about maintaining connections. It usually goes: "Oh my god, you're so fun, I can't wait to hang out again!" and never hear from that person for the rest of your life.
aubergine10003 4 days ago
If I lived in Sacramento, I would be friends with this lovely person in a heart-fkin-beat.
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 6 days ago
I'm 44 and been friendless since I finished primary school. There's no such thing as real friends, or friendship. It's lonely, but I'd rather be lonely than hurt.
CP 1 week ago
Could you list me all the acceptable reasons to "cry" on the internet. I wasn't aware there was a list.
Load More Replies... You May Like Mom “Mad” After “Prank Gone Wrong” Leaves 12-Year-Old Son Hospitalized "That's Why I Quit Dating": Woman Takes Over Man's Dating Profile, Discovers Depressing Truth Woman Arrested While Trying To Reclaim Her Home From Squatter: “I Spent The Night On A Mat”
Karina Babenok
Lei RV
Lei RV
Related on Bored Panda
33
43