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“He Got Mad”: Woman Learns BF’s Secret After Years Of Pretending Not To Understand His Language
Language is our primary tool for communication, and when partners don’t share the same mother tongue, it can make the relationship more interesting for sure, but it can also be more challenging. Often, not being able to speak in the same first language can lead to misinterpretations and frustration that create strains on the couple.
Surprisingly for redditor False_Quiet526 and her boyfriend, the fact that she didn’t speak his mother tongue was no problem, as they both perfectly knew English. That is, until she overheard his cheating confession in a language she supposedly didn’t understand.
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When partners don’t speak the same mother tongue, it can make the relationship more challenging
Image credits: Pressmaster (not the actual image)
What this woman didn’t expect is that her boyfriend would use his mother tongue to flaunt the fact that he cheated
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual image)
Image credits: Michael Burrows (not the actual image)
Image credits: False_Quiet526
Around 43% of the world’s population is bilingual
Around 43% of the world’s population is bilingual, so it’s almost a 50/50 chance that one’s future partner is going to be one. As relationships become more culturally and linguistically diverse, they may face more challenges, as divorce rates for multilingual couples are higher.
A language barrier may make it more difficult to create the kind of deep connection that can be fostered in partners who share the same mother tongue. The shared language that the couple decides on communicating with (e.g., English) may lack the concepts and words that exist in their native ones. This can make it more difficult to clearly communicate what one wants to say, leading to frustration and even misunderstandings.
Research also found that an individual’s personality can unconsciously change when they switch between languages. A person can feel more confident and assertive when speaking, for example, Spanish, and feel more timid and introverted when conversing in English. Not being able to communicate with a partner in the same language may mean that they won’t ever know their full and true personalities.
In fact, the cultural differences between the couple may be an even bigger barrier than language, says professional counselor Dr. Jane Elizabeth Dum. Those who come from different backgrounds might have learned to communicate, express themselves, and voice their affection in varying ways. Navigating the partner’s differences in values, beliefs, and behaviors may require more patience and understanding, as they might not realize how different their worlds were before meeting each other.
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual image)
Dating someone from a different culture can open up a person to new experiences and worldviews
Of course, being in a multilingual relationship can have its benefits too. Dating someone from a different culture can open up a person to new experiences and worldviews. Even though the couple might have differing perspectives on the world, it can be a great opportunity to find value in things one may have overlooked while being comfortable in their own culture without challenging their established views.
Traveling also becomes more exciting as the partners get to visit each other’s home countries. Not only does this provide more insights into how they came to be the personalities they are today, but it also can strengthen the relationship by opening it to new experiences. Showing around your hometown to your significant other can be so much fun and makes you see your own home in a new light.
However, there might come a point when this bond may benefit from learning each other’s languages. If the partners feel like inside jokes or random slang words are no longer sufficient, it might be time to crack open a textbook or download Duolingo.
As an adult, it might feel intimidating to learn a whole new language but having a significant other by one’s side who they can practice with daily can really help with the progress. As the relationship grows and matures, the language skills should follow a similar pattern!
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual image)
Some readers supported the woman
While others thought they were both jerks for their own different reasons
Later, the woman posted an update
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual image)
Image credits: False_Quiet526
The update received all sorts of reactions
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What do you think ?
Space Invader 1 month ago (edited)
If I were the last YTA's girlfriend, I'd get seriously suspicious of him after such an unhinged rant. Seriously, language skills develop over time, so anyone expecting "I don't speak X" to remain true forever is a complete nincompoop. And whether or not one considers themselves capable of speaking a language is a tricky question, anyway. Some people refuse to call themselves capable of speaking a language because they could not hold a literary discussion, others proudly proclaim they can speak five languages even though they can only ask for directions to the loo and hope the reply is accompanied by hand gestures.
Susie Elle 1 month ago (edited)
LiveTemperature1137 is 100% projecting. What a dramatic response. To me it feels like blowing up for not telling your partner you actually don't like food A, while partner thought you were okay with it and has been making it once a week because they love it. Like, you could've told, but also, how big of a deal is it that you didn't? *shrug* In any case it all becomes 100% irrelevant because boyfriend cheated with 3 women in one night, so big whoop for not telling him she understands French. He's just pissed his secret weapon for getting away with cheating was useless.
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Nikole 1 month ago
So… The YTAs are afraid of being found out for cheating and anything else they’ve said or done is what I’m getting here.
Sheena Chaffee 1 month ago
Pretty much what it looks like. I don't get how it makes anyone the ah when people do it all the time. Hell you could understand what's being spoken but not be able to speak it. I worked with Mexicans and I can't speak Spanish to save my life but I could understand things after a while.
Load More Replies... TribbleThinking 1 month ago
ROFL. Secret language speakers shouldn't be overly confident. I've lived in and hung around groups of different combinations of language speakers, and the non-language speakers can pick up a fair amount from extrapolation of context and body language. Even dogs trained up in one language can pick up commands in another language quite quickly. It does vary with the individual, with both species.
Dilly Millandry 1 month ago
You are absolutely right although it reminds me of a cute/funny story I remember from a way back working in animal welfare. New owners, in England, of a fully grown labrador are told he's very, very well trained and they take this lovely dog home and are baffled. Dog won't do a thing they tell him. Dog spoke Welsh...
Load More Replies...
Space Invader 1 month ago (edited)
If I were the last YTA's girlfriend, I'd get seriously suspicious of him after such an unhinged rant. Seriously, language skills develop over time, so anyone expecting "I don't speak X" to remain true forever is a complete nincompoop. And whether or not one considers themselves capable of speaking a language is a tricky question, anyway. Some people refuse to call themselves capable of speaking a language because they could not hold a literary discussion, others proudly proclaim they can speak five languages even though they can only ask for directions to the loo and hope the reply is accompanied by hand gestures.
Susie Elle 1 month ago (edited)
LiveTemperature1137 is 100% projecting. What a dramatic response. To me it feels like blowing up for not telling your partner you actually don't like food A, while partner thought you were okay with it and has been making it once a week because they love it. Like, you could've told, but also, how big of a deal is it that you didn't? *shrug* In any case it all becomes 100% irrelevant because boyfriend cheated with 3 women in one night, so big whoop for not telling him she understands French. He's just pissed his secret weapon for getting away with cheating was useless.
Load More Replies... Nikole 1 month ago
So… The YTAs are afraid of being found out for cheating and anything else they’ve said or done is what I’m getting here.
Sheena Chaffee 1 month ago
Pretty much what it looks like. I don't get how it makes anyone the ah when people do it all the time. Hell you could understand what's being spoken but not be able to speak it. I worked with Mexicans and I can't speak Spanish to save my life but I could understand things after a while.
Load More Replies... TribbleThinking 1 month ago
ROFL. Secret language speakers shouldn't be overly confident. I've lived in and hung around groups of different combinations of language speakers, and the non-language speakers can pick up a fair amount from extrapolation of context and body language. Even dogs trained up in one language can pick up commands in another language quite quickly. It does vary with the individual, with both species.
Dilly Millandry 1 month ago
You are absolutely right although it reminds me of a cute/funny story I remember from a way back working in animal welfare. New owners, in England, of a fully grown labrador are told he's very, very well trained and they take this lovely dog home and are baffled. Dog won't do a thing they tell him. Dog spoke Welsh...
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