Woman Considers Kicking 19YO Daughter Out After She Ruins Her Stepdad’s Life & Ends Marriage
There are millions of ways people’s lives can change irrevocably in just one brief moment, and unfortunately, many of them don’t entail a change for the better.
Take this redditor, for instance. Her life turned completely upside down in one brief moment, when, after an unfortunate incident at home, rumors started spreading about her husband. One day, he accidentally walked in on his stepdaughter in the bathroom, who later started making up scenarios with her cousin, and soon enough the entire family was convinced of some debatable accusations. Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find an update on how the situation developed.
Sometimes, all it takes is one moment or one conversation to turn people’s lives completely upside down
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This woman suddenly found herself without a husband and without a home, all because of her daughter’s lies
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Fellow netizens shared their thoughts in the comments, and the OP replied to some of them
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Despite significant consequences, people making false allegations is not unheard of
Being accused of wrongdoings you are not responsible for can be infuriating, even if it’s something as seemingly insignificant as eating someone’s lunch. But facing allegations for something that is considered a crime is not only maddening but alarming, because of all that’s at stake.
Unfortunately, the possible consequences don’t stop certain people from making false accusations. Studies suggest that the prevalence of false allegations stands somewhere between 2% and 10%. To make matters worse, a different study that delved deeper into the motives behind filing false allegations found that some people can’t even answer why they made them.
According to the latter study, the main motivating force behind people making false allegations was emotional gain, but some of them reported having more than one motive; roughly a fifth admitted that they didn’t even know why they made such accusations themselves. The survey also found that the majority of people’s false accusations were used to cover up other behavior, such as adultery or skipping school.
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Being wrongfully accused of something can have a detrimental effect on a person’s well-being, as well as their relationships and career
Needless to say, being falsely accused of wrongdoing can be traumatic for many reasons. As the OP’s story shows, it affects not only the person’s well-being, but their relationships, and even work, too. A 2020 study on the psychological impact of being wrongfully accused of criminal offenses notes, “The impact of wrongful accusation is frequently complex and long-lasting, with participants reporting negative impacts on their self-identity, reputation, psychological and physical health, relationships with others, attitudes towards the justice system, finances and adjusting to life after their convictions were overturned. These problems appeared to compound each other and exacerbate the psychological difficulties experienced by the wrongfully accused.”
In addition, the aforementioned study emphasized that the public tends to perceive those who were wrongly accused negatively, even after they are exonerated. “Research suggests public perceptions of exonerees tend to be negative and not dissimilar to perceptions of actual offenders, despite knowing they had been exonerated,” the research read in part. “This may be because the public is concerned that the exoneration process itself was flawed, and they prefer to believe the veracity of the original conviction, despite the outcome of the legal review process.”
Even though the OP’s daughter eventually came clean, telling her family members all about the situation and trying to clear her stepdad’s name, he didn’t think there was a way to repair the damage that was already done. Roughly a week after sharing her story with the online community, the woman provided an update, saying that her husband had asked for a divorce, which also meant that the mother and daughter had to leave their home, as it had originally belonged to the OP’s husband.
Roughly a week later, the woman shared an update on how the situation developed
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Netizens suggested that the woman should leave her soon-to-be ex-husband be, as there was no coming back from the situation
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That girl did more damage than she understands. And for what? That guy is supposedly a brilliant husband and even spent so much on that girl as well. Did he deserve such treatment? As a guy I would never move back in with that girl again
She's 19, she understands, she's getting off on the power. Otherwise she would have stopped spreading the lies after the first repercussions.
Load More Replies...Write a statement, explaining what happened and that your daughter has confessed. Provide a similar signed statement from your daughter. The intent is to provide the poor man with the decent minimum of full exoneration.
[1/🧵] It doesn't work like that for men - he's permanently f****d no matter what happens now, it's over. Just like countless tens of thousands of other men across the world (and I know I'll get some hate for this, same as anyone on here who points out that men are people too) who've been falsely accused for reasons ranging from blackmail, extorsion, petty revenge, or as in this case, just for a bit of attention, that cork is never, ever going back in the bottle. A million women could declare this man to be as innocent as snow, but the "YeSs @LL meNs" brigade will still say "he must have done it, he looks the sort", "look what shoes he's wearing, he gives me the ick so obviously he raped her", "there's no smoke without fire", and make all kinds of entirely baseless, vile accusations about what he's "obviously" done, or how he's "controlling" her to make her say it's a lie so he can keep on abusing her. That's reality for men today. Are all men innocent angels? Absolutely not -
Load More Replies...Yikes. I despise the very idea of sexual predators. To be labeled as one of any stripe for an innocent mistake would be devastating. Sorry, I would never go back to that house or be in any scenario where I am with the daughter alone again. To so casually lie about something so serious is scary. I feel terrible for real victims but people who lie about these types of things the destroy lives and cast doubt on real victims. Absolutely disgusting.
I knew someone who once made a false allegation, spread it around that they were too "scared" to go to the police. A group of local men decided to be vigilantes, the guy was badly assaulted and run out of town, he was very nearly killed. The guy refused to go to the police because he thought that he would be the one arrested. This is what could have happened in this situation, the daughter not only broke her mother's marriage, she also broke her stepfather and there is nothing that either woman can do now to make things right.
I feel for the OP, and her soon to be ex husband - sadly there is no fixing this. The damage is done and there's no going back. And I would never trust the daughter again. I hate people like her. False accusations just make it so much harder for those who are ACTUAL victims to be believed. The fact that she was so willing to ruin a man's life over this kind of mistake tells me exactly how shítty of a person she is. As for OP, she should kick the daughter out and go low to no contact with her. And on the off chance that relationship isn't completely ruined, if OP chooses to date again, it'd be best if daughter never met any of Mom's future partners. I wouldn't trust her around any of them ever again
Sure, she deserves that, but it wouldn't fix anything and it would probably make the situation worse.
Load More Replies...Possible unpopular opinion here: think long and hard before getting involved with anyone who has kids. I would not, full stop. I don't have any kids, do not want to deal with anyone else's. And I am highly intolerant of any and all drama. I want a quiet, peaceful life... ideally with a partner who lives in his own house. Been there, done that twice with marriage, happy the second time for 17 years, learned a lot, but not living with anyone again, and never dealing with any kids.
Not unpopular with me, that's my modus operandi. Kids are deal breakers.
Load More Replies...there's no way to "fix" this. the daughter put the husband in a very dangerous situation. he can never be around her again. the husband is right that the woman shouldn't have to choose between her husband or her daughter, so he's making the choice for her, and it's his right to do that. she needs to realize the marriage is over. she and her daughter need to go to therapy, because that relationship is now damaged and it's going to take a lot to fix it. the daughter may also end up feeling depressed, as it's her fault this happened, and there's nothing she can do to fix it. they need to get to the bottom of why she would lie about this.
You bring up something that really stood out to me, the husband is right that she shouldn't have to choose between her husband or her daughter. OP also mentioned that he said he didn't know if he could look at her the same way if she were to cut her daughter out of her life to move away and be with him. And it makes this all the more tragic because that just shows what a really good man this man is. That even with what the daughter did to him, he wasn't sure if he could care about OP the way he used to if she walked out on her daughter.
Load More Replies...This is one of the saddest stories I have ever read. A series of misunderstandings made all the more worse by the culture in which we live. FYI I am not complaining about the culture, just acknowledging its role. There is a version of this story where the stepdad really was a creep and the family did nothing to protect the daughter. People act on partial information all the time, but don't question it when that information turns out to be right. I believe the events are possible as the daughter described. She mentions the funny story about her stepdad walking in on her and someone else sees the story differently, and think they are helping. Unfortunately these things are all too human. The relationship is unfixable and the entire family will all be traumatized over it. Stepdad gets the worst of it, but the wife losing someone she loves and the guilt the daughter will carry are also tough. Just sad all around.
She's 19, not 12, she knew what she was doing, maybe the first lie she told she didn't expect it to take off, but she didn't stop despite begging for forgiveness and telling her mother what she wanted to hear. Good for the husband for leaving. OP should follow if he'll have her. But don't believe for a second the daughter only understood what she'd done at the last moment. 19 is definitely old enough to know the damage that can be done with similar claims. It's old enough that she knows (at least one) someone who has been assaulted for real and knows she's spitting on their experiences. She's an adult with no moral compass. The rest of the family will learn in time, but the best course of action is distance, and lots of it because she will do similar again.
Making up stories with cousin about "being peeped on, hahaha, let's make up new scenarios and run with it" and then, lies gets spread to all of the family, who believe the girl, she finds out immediately the repercussions, she doesn't do anything to change it (they'll think badly of me if they think I was making it up), it's only after man's been away for a week and says that's it it's over, all of a sudden, the penny drops, girl realizes she f***** up. It's too late. Too little too late. I hope she's learned an incredibly important lesson about spreading rumors and who you confide lies / made up stories with. It's ruined her parents marriage and it's ruined her future. It could have ruined his future as well. It's a shame, sounds like things were going well before. That's a real shame. But you know what the acronym FAFO stands for, and that's an example
And making this kind of story...🤢 What kind of mental jokes about assault???
Load More Replies...This is why Jewish law considers ruining a person's reputation almost equivalent to murder, because you can't undo it.
She should have stopped that early in the game. She has now wrecked several relationships by not doing so and not backtracking and allowing them to keep going. Hard lesson learnt.
Wow! This is a train wreck. I feel so awful for these parents. Not just the dad. This girl blew up both of these people's lives in one swoop. Boom. Over. Done. For nothing. NOTHING! NO REASON! That makes it even worse. And she's way past being old enough to know better. As for people saying her mom shouldn't abandon her child, I would. You can't completely ruin someone's life and expect to be in their good graces ever again. Forgiveness is one thing. Forgetting another. They have to try to move on and have to deal with the damage. It was their life that was ruined. Young people make mistakes, but this, this was more than a doozie. This was complete disregard for others in a major, disturbing way. This girl just emancipated herself right into adulthood.
I'm puzzled and wondering what the heck the niece (although I think they mean cousin) told her mom and others. Because no matter what scenario mentioned in the post it was, the moment OP mentions that she was right down the hallway at the time makes the accusation of lewd intent absurd.
I hope the husband has possession of that video of him knocking on the door. He needs to get it to his divorce lawyer for safe keeping asap. Thankfully the daughter is 19 and not a minor or he'd be needing a criminal attorney. This could still follow him for the rest of his life. All of their lives will be damaged forever. So effing sad.
Your daughter is an adult. She caused this,airpods, not locking the bathroom door. She owes a huge apology to her stepfather and you. And needs to move.
So she's a legal adult who chose to be naked, headphone equipped (distracted), and not lock the door. Yeah, time for some adult consequences hun. Some day, can we go back to appreciating the natural human form instead of whatever this insane behavior is? I blame purity culture for this.
I felt really sorry full OP until I read "...but I don't think I can keep the house..." Wtf? After all that poor bloke has gone through (and will inevitably continue to go through) this is on her mind?
Please give her some grace. Her words were clumsy but I don't think she meant it to sound like she was trying to get the house in the divorce. I think it was more a reference to her first post where she she would kick her daughter out if she could stay with her husband. I belive it was more her realizing she will be homeless. Please remember that while the consequences for her are very little in comparison to the consequences for OPs husband, she is also a victim of her daughter and family. She is loosing her husband, who seems like an amazing person. She is loosing her home, her family, by choice because of their actions, but still a loss. And her relationship with her daughter. Again, in comparison not as much as her husband, but her loss doesn't have to be equal to be valid. OP and STBE are both victims of her daughter and her family.
Load More Replies...I feel like ghosting her entire family and moving away just as a couple would have been good.
OPs husband showed what a truly good man he was when OP offered to do just that, and his response was that he wasn't sure he could look at her the same way as before if she were to cut her daughter out of her life. This man had compassion for the person who ruined his life.
Load More Replies...Daughter is 19, not 9. She has heard of cases where wrong accusations have got men to lose everything, sometimes including their health because they were beaten up. She knew what could happen. I'm very much for listening to victims, and I know how hard it is for us women to get justice if something happens, but that doesn't mean that I will ever support a PoS like her. Just so sorry for OP and BF, their lives got destroyed by a nasty daughter and a family that ran with it before having the slightest evidence (actually while there was avidence that he was innocent). Also, folks, get those f*****g earphones out sometimes, speakers are a thing.
Me being a radical feminist is what prevents me for feeling anything than rage and disgust for that little pos... It's because of girls like her that real victims aren't listened!
Load More Replies...Irreparable. Your daughter and your family thoroughly broke this man. Once the divorce is finalized, you'll never see or hear from him again. Also, your relationship with your daughter is forever changed too. This is tragic all around.
Normally I'd agree but considering how much said child blew up her and her husband's lives... It'd be justified
Load More Replies...That girl did more damage than she understands. And for what? That guy is supposedly a brilliant husband and even spent so much on that girl as well. Did he deserve such treatment? As a guy I would never move back in with that girl again
She's 19, she understands, she's getting off on the power. Otherwise she would have stopped spreading the lies after the first repercussions.
Load More Replies...Write a statement, explaining what happened and that your daughter has confessed. Provide a similar signed statement from your daughter. The intent is to provide the poor man with the decent minimum of full exoneration.
[1/🧵] It doesn't work like that for men - he's permanently f****d no matter what happens now, it's over. Just like countless tens of thousands of other men across the world (and I know I'll get some hate for this, same as anyone on here who points out that men are people too) who've been falsely accused for reasons ranging from blackmail, extorsion, petty revenge, or as in this case, just for a bit of attention, that cork is never, ever going back in the bottle. A million women could declare this man to be as innocent as snow, but the "YeSs @LL meNs" brigade will still say "he must have done it, he looks the sort", "look what shoes he's wearing, he gives me the ick so obviously he raped her", "there's no smoke without fire", and make all kinds of entirely baseless, vile accusations about what he's "obviously" done, or how he's "controlling" her to make her say it's a lie so he can keep on abusing her. That's reality for men today. Are all men innocent angels? Absolutely not -
Load More Replies...Yikes. I despise the very idea of sexual predators. To be labeled as one of any stripe for an innocent mistake would be devastating. Sorry, I would never go back to that house or be in any scenario where I am with the daughter alone again. To so casually lie about something so serious is scary. I feel terrible for real victims but people who lie about these types of things the destroy lives and cast doubt on real victims. Absolutely disgusting.
I knew someone who once made a false allegation, spread it around that they were too "scared" to go to the police. A group of local men decided to be vigilantes, the guy was badly assaulted and run out of town, he was very nearly killed. The guy refused to go to the police because he thought that he would be the one arrested. This is what could have happened in this situation, the daughter not only broke her mother's marriage, she also broke her stepfather and there is nothing that either woman can do now to make things right.
I feel for the OP, and her soon to be ex husband - sadly there is no fixing this. The damage is done and there's no going back. And I would never trust the daughter again. I hate people like her. False accusations just make it so much harder for those who are ACTUAL victims to be believed. The fact that she was so willing to ruin a man's life over this kind of mistake tells me exactly how shítty of a person she is. As for OP, she should kick the daughter out and go low to no contact with her. And on the off chance that relationship isn't completely ruined, if OP chooses to date again, it'd be best if daughter never met any of Mom's future partners. I wouldn't trust her around any of them ever again
Sure, she deserves that, but it wouldn't fix anything and it would probably make the situation worse.
Load More Replies...Possible unpopular opinion here: think long and hard before getting involved with anyone who has kids. I would not, full stop. I don't have any kids, do not want to deal with anyone else's. And I am highly intolerant of any and all drama. I want a quiet, peaceful life... ideally with a partner who lives in his own house. Been there, done that twice with marriage, happy the second time for 17 years, learned a lot, but not living with anyone again, and never dealing with any kids.
Not unpopular with me, that's my modus operandi. Kids are deal breakers.
Load More Replies...there's no way to "fix" this. the daughter put the husband in a very dangerous situation. he can never be around her again. the husband is right that the woman shouldn't have to choose between her husband or her daughter, so he's making the choice for her, and it's his right to do that. she needs to realize the marriage is over. she and her daughter need to go to therapy, because that relationship is now damaged and it's going to take a lot to fix it. the daughter may also end up feeling depressed, as it's her fault this happened, and there's nothing she can do to fix it. they need to get to the bottom of why she would lie about this.
You bring up something that really stood out to me, the husband is right that she shouldn't have to choose between her husband or her daughter. OP also mentioned that he said he didn't know if he could look at her the same way if she were to cut her daughter out of her life to move away and be with him. And it makes this all the more tragic because that just shows what a really good man this man is. That even with what the daughter did to him, he wasn't sure if he could care about OP the way he used to if she walked out on her daughter.
Load More Replies...This is one of the saddest stories I have ever read. A series of misunderstandings made all the more worse by the culture in which we live. FYI I am not complaining about the culture, just acknowledging its role. There is a version of this story where the stepdad really was a creep and the family did nothing to protect the daughter. People act on partial information all the time, but don't question it when that information turns out to be right. I believe the events are possible as the daughter described. She mentions the funny story about her stepdad walking in on her and someone else sees the story differently, and think they are helping. Unfortunately these things are all too human. The relationship is unfixable and the entire family will all be traumatized over it. Stepdad gets the worst of it, but the wife losing someone she loves and the guilt the daughter will carry are also tough. Just sad all around.
She's 19, not 12, she knew what she was doing, maybe the first lie she told she didn't expect it to take off, but she didn't stop despite begging for forgiveness and telling her mother what she wanted to hear. Good for the husband for leaving. OP should follow if he'll have her. But don't believe for a second the daughter only understood what she'd done at the last moment. 19 is definitely old enough to know the damage that can be done with similar claims. It's old enough that she knows (at least one) someone who has been assaulted for real and knows she's spitting on their experiences. She's an adult with no moral compass. The rest of the family will learn in time, but the best course of action is distance, and lots of it because she will do similar again.
Making up stories with cousin about "being peeped on, hahaha, let's make up new scenarios and run with it" and then, lies gets spread to all of the family, who believe the girl, she finds out immediately the repercussions, she doesn't do anything to change it (they'll think badly of me if they think I was making it up), it's only after man's been away for a week and says that's it it's over, all of a sudden, the penny drops, girl realizes she f***** up. It's too late. Too little too late. I hope she's learned an incredibly important lesson about spreading rumors and who you confide lies / made up stories with. It's ruined her parents marriage and it's ruined her future. It could have ruined his future as well. It's a shame, sounds like things were going well before. That's a real shame. But you know what the acronym FAFO stands for, and that's an example
And making this kind of story...🤢 What kind of mental jokes about assault???
Load More Replies...This is why Jewish law considers ruining a person's reputation almost equivalent to murder, because you can't undo it.
She should have stopped that early in the game. She has now wrecked several relationships by not doing so and not backtracking and allowing them to keep going. Hard lesson learnt.
Wow! This is a train wreck. I feel so awful for these parents. Not just the dad. This girl blew up both of these people's lives in one swoop. Boom. Over. Done. For nothing. NOTHING! NO REASON! That makes it even worse. And she's way past being old enough to know better. As for people saying her mom shouldn't abandon her child, I would. You can't completely ruin someone's life and expect to be in their good graces ever again. Forgiveness is one thing. Forgetting another. They have to try to move on and have to deal with the damage. It was their life that was ruined. Young people make mistakes, but this, this was more than a doozie. This was complete disregard for others in a major, disturbing way. This girl just emancipated herself right into adulthood.
I'm puzzled and wondering what the heck the niece (although I think they mean cousin) told her mom and others. Because no matter what scenario mentioned in the post it was, the moment OP mentions that she was right down the hallway at the time makes the accusation of lewd intent absurd.
I hope the husband has possession of that video of him knocking on the door. He needs to get it to his divorce lawyer for safe keeping asap. Thankfully the daughter is 19 and not a minor or he'd be needing a criminal attorney. This could still follow him for the rest of his life. All of their lives will be damaged forever. So effing sad.
Your daughter is an adult. She caused this,airpods, not locking the bathroom door. She owes a huge apology to her stepfather and you. And needs to move.
So she's a legal adult who chose to be naked, headphone equipped (distracted), and not lock the door. Yeah, time for some adult consequences hun. Some day, can we go back to appreciating the natural human form instead of whatever this insane behavior is? I blame purity culture for this.
I felt really sorry full OP until I read "...but I don't think I can keep the house..." Wtf? After all that poor bloke has gone through (and will inevitably continue to go through) this is on her mind?
Please give her some grace. Her words were clumsy but I don't think she meant it to sound like she was trying to get the house in the divorce. I think it was more a reference to her first post where she she would kick her daughter out if she could stay with her husband. I belive it was more her realizing she will be homeless. Please remember that while the consequences for her are very little in comparison to the consequences for OPs husband, she is also a victim of her daughter and family. She is loosing her husband, who seems like an amazing person. She is loosing her home, her family, by choice because of their actions, but still a loss. And her relationship with her daughter. Again, in comparison not as much as her husband, but her loss doesn't have to be equal to be valid. OP and STBE are both victims of her daughter and her family.
Load More Replies...I feel like ghosting her entire family and moving away just as a couple would have been good.
OPs husband showed what a truly good man he was when OP offered to do just that, and his response was that he wasn't sure he could look at her the same way as before if she were to cut her daughter out of her life. This man had compassion for the person who ruined his life.
Load More Replies...Daughter is 19, not 9. She has heard of cases where wrong accusations have got men to lose everything, sometimes including their health because they were beaten up. She knew what could happen. I'm very much for listening to victims, and I know how hard it is for us women to get justice if something happens, but that doesn't mean that I will ever support a PoS like her. Just so sorry for OP and BF, their lives got destroyed by a nasty daughter and a family that ran with it before having the slightest evidence (actually while there was avidence that he was innocent). Also, folks, get those f*****g earphones out sometimes, speakers are a thing.
Me being a radical feminist is what prevents me for feeling anything than rage and disgust for that little pos... It's because of girls like her that real victims aren't listened!
Load More Replies...Irreparable. Your daughter and your family thoroughly broke this man. Once the divorce is finalized, you'll never see or hear from him again. Also, your relationship with your daughter is forever changed too. This is tragic all around.
Normally I'd agree but considering how much said child blew up her and her husband's lives... It'd be justified
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