Boundaries are vital for any relationship—whether professional, romantic, or other—to flourish. But when it comes to food, boundaries aren’t just important, they’re sacrosanct. You simply do not steal another person’s food! In the immortal words of Joey Tribbiani from the hit TV series Friends, “Joey doesn’t share food!” and you shouldn’t have to put up with anyone who takes yours without asking.

Alas, some food thieves have no morals and will continue to pilfer and pillage your carefully prepared meals and precious milk without any shame, even when they know someone’s getting suspicious of them.

Redditor u/Not_entirely_sure, a 20-year-old living in a shared house with 3 other women, asked the AITA community on Reddit for a verdict regarding a snack-snatching situation. She explained that someone has been constantly stealing her food from the shared refrigerator. The woman finally had enough and secretly installed a fridge camera. Scroll down to have a read about what happened next, in the redditor’s own words. When you’re done with the story, let us know in the comments who you think was in the wrong here.

The author of the post, u/Not_entirely_sure_, was kind enough to answer Bored Panda’s questions about the fridge drama. I didn’t think my house drama would be so interesting to so many, especially compared to some of the other crazy stories you see on the AITA sub,” she told us. “However, I think pretty much everyone who’s been in a houseshare/had roommates has had some bad experiences. So perhaps that’s why a lot of people were invested! I absolutely did not expect so much attention from Reddit.” Read on for Bored Panda’s full interview with the author of the story.

When she realized that someone kept stealing her food from the communal fridge, one woman decided to catch the thief red-handed

Image credits: nrd (not the actual photo)

Here’s what she did and what happened next

Image credits: Not_entirely_sure__

The redditor revealed to Bored Panda that they’re going to let things unfold “a bit more” for a few more days and then they’ll post an official update to the story on Reddit. I can’t be the only one who can’t wait to see how things develop.

We were interested to get the redditor’s take on why somebody would go about stealing someone else’s food. “I think there’s a lot of reasons. A lot of the time I think people just do it for convenience or affordability, thinking they won’t get caught. Or, especially in shared houses, people think there won’t be consequences to their actions even if they are caught, as opposed to stealing from a shop or business,” u/Not_entirely_sure_ told us. “Sometimes, there is more a genuine need, though I can tell you this definitely wasn’t Kate’s case.”

However, putting a stop to food theft isn’t easy in a shared house situation. “The best way is by trying to reason with housemates and establishing a shared understanding you won’t take each other’s stuff, but this doesn’t always work,” the redditor mused. “A variety of other good suggestions were given on Reddit, such as getting a separate mini-fridge. Personally, I think the best way is to live with people you know to not be thieves, like friends, if possible. Prevention is better than the cure.”

As it turns out, it was the housemate who always got defensive when the topic of theft came about, ‘Kate,’ who was caught red-handed (or rather food-handed). She had a huge emotional meltdown and accused the redditor of violating her privacy.

One of the housemates also sided with the angry thief, which in turn inspired redditor u/Not_entirely_sure to start the AITA post in the first place. She was no longer sure whether or not she did the right thing because she was being blamed quite a bit.

However, the AITA community has a habit of giving people an outsider’s perspective and presenting a more objective, cold, rational view of the situation. This time was no exception. Redditors stressed the fact that the author of the post should not apologize and should not engage with the accusations.

Or, as one internet user accurately and sarcastically put it, “How dare you procure evidence of my stealing to back off your charges? This is an outrage!!” Personally, I agree that open and honest communication has to happen: the aggressor has to know that what she’s doing is wrong and this needs to stop. Now. She might try to change the script and turn the tables so you’re the one feeling guilty, but you have to stay firm and on message: this needs to stop. Now!

Certified relationship coach Alex Scot explained to Bored Panda that the closer you are to a person, the more flexible your boundaries ought to be to make them sustainable. So, for example, we would give our romantic partners the benefit of boundaries that are more flexible than those of our roommates or our colleagues.

Nonetheless, the expert highlighted the need to have some sorts of boundaries set up even with the people closest to us, emotionally.

“Without them, we live our lives at the expense of ourselves. The mindset for many when it comes to setting boundaries is that they feel selfish, or that they aren’t being a good partner when they implement them, so they avoid doing it altogether,” she told Bored Panda that boundaries are “extremely important.”

Not having boundaries can lead to feelings of resentment and one person (or even both) feeling overwhelmed. “Boundaries are there for us to be able to take care of and to protect ourselves so that we can show up and operate within our lives as successfully as possible.”

Some internet users gave the author of the story some spot-on advice on how to proceed

The vast majority of people thought that the woman did nothing wrong

However, others had a more nuanced opinion

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