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Guy Wants A Breather From 14-Year Relationship, Demands Ex Not Sleep Around, She Ignores Him
Breakups can be hard but, in some instances, they’re a way to break free from a relationship that’s no good for you. This is especially true if your partner is manipulative, abusive, or always tries to control you. If that’s the case, you need to get out.
One woman was in a 14-year relationship with her high school sweetheart when he decided to split up with her. In the aftermath, he drunkenly assaulted her, so she slept with someone else to put a decisive end to things. She’s since turned to Reddit to ask if that was a jerk move.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
14 years is a long time to be in a relationship, but this woman found a decisive way to end hers
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her boyfriend split up with her, claiming he wanted to take a 6-month break and told her not to sleep with anyone else or she would be “tainted”
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In the aftermath, he drunkenly assaulted her, so she immediately slept with someone else, ensuring her abusive boyfriend wouldn’t want to take her back
Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The now ex-boyfriend accused her of “ruining everything” and told her that he even had plans to propose, but the woman was unmoved
Image credits: Confident_Kangaroo95
She said she didn’t think he was worth any more of her time, but still turned to netizens to ask if hooking up with someone else to end things was a jerk move
OP begins her post by telling the community that she and her high school sweetheart were together for 14 years before he split up with her the day before her birthday because he felt their relationship had grown stagnant. After talking it over, they decided to instead take a 6-month break before considering the possibility of patching things up.
She says he told her he realized what a terrible boyfriend he had been, and he wanted the time and space to become someone she deserved. That was in June, and OP gave him until July to find a place and move out. Then, one drunken night, things took a turn for the worse when he assaulted her, forcing her to stay with her family while he moved out.
OP told him that they’d have to split all their stuff by text and email from then on, but he said he didn’t remember being violent and still wanted the chance to prove to her that he was the best man he could be for her. He then went on to tell OP that she couldn’t be with anyone during their break because that would be a surefire way to make him not want to take her back.
Well, OP immediately slept with someone else. Now her ex is telling her that she’s “ruined everything” and revealed that he had plans to marry her. OP says she doesn’t think he deserves another minute of her time but asked Redditors whether or not what she did was a jerk move.
Image credits: Valeriia Miller / Pexels (not the actual photo)
If you’ve ever been through a messy breakup, you’ll know just how complicated things can get. Now imagine the baggage that comes with a 14-year relationship, especially when you share things like bank accounts and power of attorney.
From OP’s post, it seems she had to get out, and her ex gave her the golden ticket. By sleeping with someone else, she let him know that there wasn’t a hope of reconciliation.
The world is full of breakup horror stories, some funny, most awkward. In her article for Thought Catalog, January Nelson shares several hilarious breakup stories that might make you feel better about your imperfect love life.
A few of the best include someone who got dumped for eating pizza with a knife and fork, another person who was unceremoniously rejected for telling her partner she didn’t like Star Wars, and one unfortunate individual who was sent packing for making a girl smile too much – apparently, she had braces that aggravated the inside of her mouth.
In her article for Refinery29, Sara Coughlin lists breakup stories that are guaranteed to make you cringe, while this article from Bored Panda reveals 40 moments that ruined relationships – don’t miss the expert interview with Dr. Cortney S. Warren.
While some might consider OP’s actions extreme, you can’t really blame her for taking the nearest exit from her abusive relationship.
What would you have done if you were in her shoes? Do you think her partner got what he deserved? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers slammed the woman’s ex for his double standards and swiftly concluded she was not the jerk
Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
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What do you think ?
Marnie 3 weeks ago
On a side note, marriage is not a "religious institution". All societies that we know of - past and present - have both religion and marriage. The two are not always really intertwined. Organized and especially monotheistic religions get their paws into everything. Religion did not create marriage. Religion took it over in many times and places (and corrupted it in many times and places).
tw 72 3 weeks ago
In addition to all the reasons noted above - dump him. If you get back together and he knows you slept with someone else, you will never hear the end of it. Every fight, every disagreement, every time he does not get his own way - you'll hear how he did you a favor by marrying a "tainted" woman.
Mark Childers 3 weeks ago
She is so much better off without him. What a loser. But she should have pressed charges over the violence. That crossed a huge line, and there's no coming back from it.
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 3 weeks ago
Of course someone whos only relationship is that guy would have some skewed ideas of what a good guy is. But fyi, a "sweet guy" does not tell you he's waiting for you to break up so he can sleep with you. It sounds like she went from one terrible thing to a gross thing.
Libstak 3 weeks ago (edited)
As a woman, if he is up front and respectful throughout, what's the beef? What is not sweet about that? It's complete honesty between 2 adults who know they are physically attracted to each other and can have fun with some caring but no commitment and no games. He owes nobody anything and it's on her if she feels a sense of loyalty to another or is free and interested in the offer.
Load More Replies...
Livingwithcfs 3 weeks ago
Sometimes it's very difficult to see an abusive relationship when your in it. You become so immersed that it becomes a normal part of a life. It's normal for someone to indulge in risky behavior when they leave these types of relationships because all that pressure has been building up. Blocking him, filing a police report and distancing herself from him is an incredibly good idea. I hope she takes that time to rediscover herself before she enters another relationship, jumping in to fast increases the likelihood of entering another abusive relationship
Ms.GB 3 weeks ago (edited)
Yeah he can talk about the kind of partner he's GOING TO BE until he's blue in the face but is she not supposed to think about the partner he HAS BEEN for 14 years and the person he's CONTINUED to be over the last 6 months. I just find it hilarious that he thought she'd be like "Oh no I ruined it because he said from now on he's going to be the perfect man and the love of my life!" First of all...as if anyone can choose to be the love of someone else's life 🤣 . The kicker though is fact that he thought she would be dumb enough to think he's gonna suddenly become an amazing partner. That she would just blindly take his word for it while his current modus op is too get drunk and attack her. I'd be insulted.
Rivka Ostroff 2 weeks ago
If a married couple is having issues and needs a six month break to get their ducks in a row it's pretty standard to say that no sex with someone else is required. However that was the whole point that she wanted to make absolutely certain they didn't get back together.
Marnie 3 weeks ago
On a side note, marriage is not a "religious institution". All societies that we know of - past and present - have both religion and marriage. The two are not always really intertwined. Organized and especially monotheistic religions get their paws into everything. Religion did not create marriage. Religion took it over in many times and places (and corrupted it in many times and places).
tw 72 3 weeks ago
In addition to all the reasons noted above - dump him. If you get back together and he knows you slept with someone else, you will never hear the end of it. Every fight, every disagreement, every time he does not get his own way - you'll hear how he did you a favor by marrying a "tainted" woman.
Mark Childers 3 weeks ago
She is so much better off without him. What a loser. But she should have pressed charges over the violence. That crossed a huge line, and there's no coming back from it.
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 3 weeks ago
Of course someone whos only relationship is that guy would have some skewed ideas of what a good guy is. But fyi, a "sweet guy" does not tell you he's waiting for you to break up so he can sleep with you. It sounds like she went from one terrible thing to a gross thing.
Libstak 3 weeks ago (edited)
As a woman, if he is up front and respectful throughout, what's the beef? What is not sweet about that? It's complete honesty between 2 adults who know they are physically attracted to each other and can have fun with some caring but no commitment and no games. He owes nobody anything and it's on her if she feels a sense of loyalty to another or is free and interested in the offer.
Load More Replies... Livingwithcfs 3 weeks ago
Sometimes it's very difficult to see an abusive relationship when your in it. You become so immersed that it becomes a normal part of a life. It's normal for someone to indulge in risky behavior when they leave these types of relationships because all that pressure has been building up. Blocking him, filing a police report and distancing herself from him is an incredibly good idea. I hope she takes that time to rediscover herself before she enters another relationship, jumping in to fast increases the likelihood of entering another abusive relationship
Ms.GB 3 weeks ago (edited)
Yeah he can talk about the kind of partner he's GOING TO BE until he's blue in the face but is she not supposed to think about the partner he HAS BEEN for 14 years and the person he's CONTINUED to be over the last 6 months. I just find it hilarious that he thought she'd be like "Oh no I ruined it because he said from now on he's going to be the perfect man and the love of my life!" First of all...as if anyone can choose to be the love of someone else's life 🤣 . The kicker though is fact that he thought she would be dumb enough to think he's gonna suddenly become an amazing partner. That she would just blindly take his word for it while his current modus op is too get drunk and attack her. I'd be insulted.
Rivka Ostroff 2 weeks ago
If a married couple is having issues and needs a six month break to get their ducks in a row it's pretty standard to say that no sex with someone else is required. However that was the whole point that she wanted to make absolutely certain they didn't get back together.
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