“He Was Being A Baby”: Woman Refuses To Accommodate Dog-Phobic Neighbor, Gets Called Out
Dogs are wonderful beings, there’s no doubt about it. But not everyone is equally thrilled about being in their vicinity, often due to fears and phobias.
Take this redditor’s neighbor, for instance. For him, the fear of dogs was so strong, he had to ask the OP not to enter the elevator he was in with her Chiweenie. But the dog owner disregarded his request, which later made her wonder if she was a jerk to her neighbor.
Scroll down to find the full story and the netizens’ verdict below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with a Canada Research Chair in Clinical Cyberpsychology, Dr. Stéphane Bouchard, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions about phobias.
It’s important for dog owners to remember that not everyone is equally fond of their beloved pet
Image credits: Pascal Mager (not the actual image)
This woman’s neighbor was fearful of dogs, which made her wonder if she was a jerk for exposing him to her Chiweenie
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual image)
Image credits: Derrick Treadwell (not the actual image)
Image credits: Fuzzy_Divide_3661
Some people fear all kinds of dogs the same, often due to cynophobia
While dogs are the most popular pet, believed to be man’s best friend, not everyone is equally fond of them; and there can be many reasons why. But for quite a few individuals, it’s fear that stands in the way of them and doggos, even if they’re told to be the goodest of bois.
For people with such a fear, the fact that the owner considers their dog friendly might not change a thing about how they feel. The size of the pet might not make much difference, either, as a seven-pound Chihuahua can make someone feel as anxious as a 70-pound German shepherd would.
For those who aren’t that scared of dogs, it might seem odd that something this big can be equally scary as something this tiny (and shivering). But fear is rarely ever rational, especially if it’s a full-fledged phobia. While it is difficult to determine how many people exactly live with a phobia of dogs—known as cynophobia—some sources suggest that roughly one-in-three people with an animal phobia have an overwhelming fear of dogs. In general, phobias are believed to affect roughly 9% of the population in the US.
“By definition, a phobia involves emotional and behavioral reactions that are hard to regulate and more intense than most people would have,” Dr. Stéphane Bouchard noted in a recent interview with Bored Panda. “Depending on the severity of the phobia and the context, these reactions may be impossible to regulate. Some people will break into tears, run away from situations, or freeze. As with all phobias, different features of the feared stimuli, in this case dogs, can trigger the panic reaction. Some people with dog phobia will be afraid of dogs of any size or breed, while some others will be more afraid of larger dogs or barking dogs, for example.”
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual image)
Living with cynophobia is not easy, especially with dogs being the most popular choice for a pet
While living with fear of any kind is a far from pleasant experience, fearing dogs might be especially difficult bearing in mind just how strongly enmeshed in people’s lives they are. Nowadays, close to a half of households in the US own a dog as a pet, which they have to take outside regularly. Not only that, quite a few people take their dogs along on hikes, to run errands, or even to the office, not to mention the pet-friendly restaurants and cafes.
While a person with cynophobia is probably unlikely to choose a pet-friendly restaurant for a night out, they can’t avoid going out on the street, where they are likely to encounter a dog. In a piece for the Pacific Standard, Benoit Denizet-Lewis, author of Travels With Casey: My Journey Through Our Dog-Crazy Country, wrote about how such situations make people with cynophobia feel and cited one saying: “I’d question everywhere I was invited. If there were a chance I’d meet a dog, I wouldn’t leave the house.”
To make matters worse, cynophobia is just one of the numerous phobias that make people’s lives difficult. According to the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health (LACDMH), phobias are divided into categories based on the cause of the negative reaction, with the main categories including agoraphobia – the fear of being alone, social phobia – the fear of being watched or humiliated while doing something in front of others, and specific phobia, which, as you probably gathered, relates to any specific object or situation that evokes irrational fear. That means a person can have a phobia of basically anything in life, even such seemingly unalarming things as cotton wool (the fear of which is called sidonglobophobia) or holes (trypophobia), just to name a couple.
Image credits: Megan (Markham) Bucknall (not the actual image)
“A phobia may be associated with significant distress and limitations in one’s personal, social, or professional life,” the expert says
“Phobias must be taken seriously, although it is important to be more nuanced when considering phobic reactions in children,” Dr. Bouchard told Bored Panda. “Many children will have phobic-like reactions to strangers, clowns, doctors, insects or large dogs. In these cases, it is important to see if the fears are appropriate to the children’s age and see if they disappear by themselves over time.
“Most people with a specific phobia will find ways to cope with their phobia and it may go unnoticed. It may nevertheless be associated with significant distress and limitations in one’s personal, social, or professional life,” the expert added. “I have provided psychotherapy to people with spider phobia who sold their house because they feared ‘spiders made nests’ in the walls of their bedroom, to people who refused to give blood transfusions to their children because they were too afraid of blood and needles, or refused significant work promotions or attending their children’s weddings in other countries because they were too afraid to fly in an airplane. Phobias are real and intense reactions associated with distress. They are also associated with avoidance behaviors that may appear unnecessary or exaggerated. But not taking people’s phobias seriously is not helping anyone.”
Summing up, Dr. Bouchard noted that by definition, a phobia is a marked fearful or anxious reaction associated with avoidance that causes clinically significant distress or impairment. “It actually needs to affect a person’s life to be considered a phobia, although some people endure the situation or have developed such elaborated avoidance strategies that it does not seem to affect them.”
Whether or not the OP’s neighbor had cynophobia, his reaction to the dog was an expressive enough sign that he didn’t want to be in the same elevator as the dog and its owner. But the latter didn’t care much about his request, which is why the majority of redditors deemed the woman a jerk. Some, however, disagreed with the verdict. Both sides shared their thoughts in the comments.
Fellow netizens believed that the dog owner was a jerk to her neighbor
Some people, however, shared a slightly different opinion
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
OP is a complete a-hole. It's kind of amazing that she can't even fathom that she's in the wrong here. It doesn't matter that her dog is a saint and loves everyone and is also a therapy dog to children with cancer and also volunteers at a soup kitchen. It doesn't matter that her dog is only 7 pounds. If someone is afraid of dogs, THEY ARE AFRAID OF DOGS. Sometimes phobias and fears are irrational. It would cost OP nothing to wait 30 seconds for the next elevator, but instead she sounds like she's one of "those" kind of dog people. I have two large-breed dogs myself and I would NEVER force my dogs into someone's presence if they said they were afraid of dogs (and my dogs are ALSO very friendly.) As an aside, a "Chiweenie" is not a thing. It's not a breed. OP, you have a mutt.
Forgot to add (and ran out of room above): just because OP lives in a building that ALLOWS dogs does NOT mean that every single resident (even those without dogs) MUST CATER to the lives of said dogs. It does not mean that the building is CENTERED around dogs. It does not mean that the dogs come before the residents. It does not mean that the lives of all of the residents revolve around the dogs. I'm also amused that OP is only 27 herself but calls a "20-ish" guy a "kid". XD
Load More Replies...My go-to rule is whoever was in the elevator first has the right and the incompatible side has to wait for the next one. So yes, YTA, even as someone who routinely prefers dogs to people
I agree. I've been asked to wait for the next elevator before. Once for a disabled person without much room and once for a young man who was obviously having some kind of panic attack and his friend was taking him to be checked in. I wonder what OP would have done in either of those situations because I can't even imagine being like "No! I have every right to use this elevator!" that's what I consider entitled behavior. We live in a society where everyone is entitled to a little consideration. So what's less considerate: asking someone to take the next elevator or entering an occupied elevator and frightening someone with your pet when you could have easily waited? It's a no brainer.
Load More Replies...OP is definitely TA, and the two people (one here on BP, one on Reddit) saying he should have gotten off the elevator are being flat-out ridiculous. The phobic man was there first, not the person with the dog. OP could have easily waited for the next elevator instead of putting that guy through hell and back. It would have been different if OP was on the elevator first, but they weren’t, and that makes all the difference.
Also, if he would have gotten of, it meant he has to pass the dog. If OP waited, the distance works have been kept.
Load More Replies...I like the adress... so they can se this thread. WHAT AN ENTITLED A$$HOLE WOMAN... May karma kick her a$$... I get so mad!! i'm so sorry for the young man.. 🤗🤗🤗
I love the way op calls itself an adult when it comes to "if a neighbour had a pet spider" part, when op wasn't an adult about caring about another human being's phobia. That person was in the elevator first; let's just go with that. op YOU take another elevator.
The sheer fact that she was trying to start an argument with a person shaking in fear... just read the room (/ elevator).
As someone living wirh the exact same phobia than this kid, I understand his reaction very well. That's NOT the size of the dog that matters! You're deadly afraid of chihuahas AND rottweillers, it's easier to defend yourself against the first one but that's all. Op shouldn't live in a humans friendly apartment. As a mean bastard I would randomly spread as many realistic toy spiders I can.
As the mother of a young autistic boy that is petrified of dogs for absolutely no reason, this would p**s me off to no end. She accuses the man of being entitled, whereas she herself is. The man likely has no choice but to live in a dog-friendly apartment building, because nowadays it is SO difficult to find anywhere that does not accommodate dogs. People pass their animals off as 'service animals' and bring them into grocery stores, restaurants, etc. You literally cannot go ANYWHERE without seeing a dog. We purposely seek out the 'no dogs allowed' playgrounds, beaches, etc. for my son, and there is ALWAYS someone there that has brought a dog. And it doesn't matter 'how sweet' the dog is, or how many times the person says 'oh my dog is very friendly!'. If a person is scared of dogs, they're scared of dogs. And YOUR dog is not going to magically cure their phobia.
I love animals, especially dogs. I've had dogs in my life for my entire life. I currently have two large-breed dogs (a Belgian Malinois and a German Shepherd mix.) I am a dog person. And I LOATHE dog owners who just parade into "no dogs allowed" places with their dogs. I get angry at people who stroll through grocery stores with their pet dogs. I know some people have allergies, and some people have phobias like your son does. I feel it is completely unfair for dog owners to take their dogs places that the dogs are not supposed to be/not allowed to go. My two dogs actually ARE very friendly, but I still never "push" them into others' presence. That is just such a disgustingly selfish behavior.
Load More Replies...I adore animals. So much so, that I'm involved in animal welfare. That said, you don't know other's experiences with animals and you're most certainly not going to be able to force anyone to overcome their anxieties through actions like this. Your actions are why dogs get kicked and hurt. One massive, humongous YTA
I would never let my little dog near someone who makes it obvious they have a fear or hatred towards him. All it takes is one kick from a jerk and the dog is dead or crippled. Cases have been documented. But I agree it's a public place, and it's not up to me to pander to someone else's fear, phobia, etc. If small enough just pick the animal up.
One of the rare occasions I actually agree with the YTAs. How much of a hassle would that actually have been for OP to take the next elevator?
None. But it's the principle of the thing. OP doesn't think she should have to make an effort to prevent the suffering of another human being. She's a bully who takes satisfaction in hurting others.
Load More Replies...Another AITA where just because you are within your right to do something doesn't mean you should.
I’m not a dog person. I can share space with dogs, but I don’t prefer to. A mall I frequent has now become “dog friendly,” which means now I have to share a space I previously didn’t have to, with dogs. Or not go to that mall. It’s not clear from the post if he moved into a dog friendly apartment building or if it changed after he moved in. Either way she’s TA.
That NTA saying he should have got off - fuckrightoff - he was already in there.
Totally YTA. I think like most comments, I'm going to say there was nothing stopping you from taking the next lift. If you were in there first and he asked you to get out, that would be different. SInce he was in there first, you could have waited. I say this as a dog owner, a dog lover and someone who used to hang out at the dog park before I could get my own dog. I walk around with dog (and cat) treats for any I meet along the way. You really need to respect the fact that not only do people have very real phobias but also some people just don't like dogs. I wouldn't want to know those pople, but you should respect the fact and not make your dog, their problem.
YTA, definitely. I must add though that some of these answer stating YTA are off the mark. This person was not a baby, and likely not 'just' phobic. Trauma responses are completely involuntary. I have similar a response to dogs from childhood trauma. I would be rendered nearly helpless, and unable to exit the elevator. Someone that truly understands would know that just passing that dog would be beyond his ability in that traumatic response moment. I'm surprised he could verbalize the request he made. You are SO VERY MUCH THE A**!
I can't believe this women thought that the internet would be sympathetic to her. And to those who agreed (I see your little agreements with the poll) YTA too. A little compassion goes a long way.
f*c*in A and entitled B and heartless C... what sh**ty neighbor this woman is...
im a huge dog lover and get upset that some ppl r afraid of dogs. however i dont get upset bc i feel everyone should love dogs i get upset bc their fear isnt letting them enjoy the happiness a dog can bring into their lives. i would never force a dog upon someone who is afraid of them. the only person i ever did it to was my friend but only bc she asked. she told me she wanted to get over her fear and since i was the one with the smallest dog (15lbs cockapoo) she came to me. took 6 months but she eventually overcame her fear of my dog so we went to our friend who had a dalmation then eventually our friend who had a great dane. if she never asked id never bring my dog around her. these days she has 4 dogs of her own. someone like the kid in the elevator would have a hard time getting over the fear considering his reaction. id never bring my dog near someone in his condition. i would personally wait until i knew we wouldnt bump into each other again before going anywhere. i wouldnt want to give him a scare twice. i have a fear of spiders and one of my best friends loves them to the point where she has multiple types including tarantulas as pets. they r all in the basement and i call her basement the forbidden zone and she has never taken any out while im there or forced me to go down there. thats the proper way to hand someones fear. u never try to make them deal with it or get over it. u never kno y they have the fear. i was bit by a venomous spider and after that i had a fear of spiders. the kid in the elevator couldve been attacked by a dog wen he was younger or some bad experience with a dog. there r ppl who just find them scary bc they can b loud, hyper and growl. my cousins friend wasnt afraid of dogs until she got one. the dog barking randomly triggered fears she already had. every time it barked she thought something bad was happening. she ended up giving the dog to my cousin. since then any time a dog barks she thinks something bad is going to happen. it sounds silly but to her its a very real fear. my cousins dog only barked wen something bad was happening. his playful barks were very low volume so it was never confusing. she thought thats how dogs were which is y she got one. a friendly companion to protect her. she probably shouldve done research before getting her own cuz there is plenty of dog breeds that would b more suited for her. every situation is different. its just common sense to not ignore someones fears no matter wat they r.
I'm so sorry but there is no happiness for me in a dog. I don't hate them. I can tolerate them. I don't attack them or lash out at them. I thought I wanted a dog. I took care of three different friends’ dogs separately and found out quickly that I don't like dogs. (FTR I don't pet sit dogs anymore.) Please don't assume that we dog-less or dog phobic would find happiness in a dog if we just try. I love cats but I don't presume that anybody who doesn't is losing out on the joys of having a cat. Actually this one turd asleep beside me right now can test my limits. The other two are a cat owner's dream come true.
Load More Replies...I agree OP did not behave nicely, but if it is that bad to be close to a dog for that guy, why didn't he just get off the elevator?
OP is not only an A - hole, but an ENTITLED A - HOLE......Exactly what would it have cost her to take the next elevator?
That kid is a kid trying to function with a difficult phobia. OP was being a jerk. The kid was doing his best to avoid his triggers and live in a tough situation. He's more mature than several grown adults I encountered this evening. I just got back from a small-town council meeting where three people want to force the county to euthanise my uncle's dog because the dog BARKED at them and they found it scary. Not endless snarling; a few woof-woofs and then silence as my uncle calmed the animal (he's a rescue from severe abuse, so he's high-strung, but he's never bitten). The dog is a breed known for being gentle, but he happens to have a deep bark. But a few folk are so offended that the dog barked at them, they want him put down for being dangerous even though he didn't bite. THAT is overreacting to discomfort. "I do not want to exist in the same town as a dog with a deep bark." That kid just wanted an elevator ride without a panic attack!
Wow..I can't believe how much of a horse's patootie you are. Do you just not give a f#%k about anybody at all? Are you ever just kind because you can be? You were off to take your dog for a sit on the sidewalk, weren't catching a plane or anything...and you decided that this guys fears/triggers weren't your problem.....you are an A$$hole, and worse, too stupid to know you are
Having had a severe phobia of dogs for the first 30+ years of my life, YTA, more because of your lack of compassion & openly belittling him. The fact that your dog is old, sweet, small, or “won’t hurt you,” is completely irrelevant. Phobias are IRRATIONAL fears. We KNOW it’s irrational, we’re embarrassed & ashamed, but we can’t help it. If I’d been in that situation, I’d have gotten out when you refused to. However, not knowing the specifics of his phobia, maybe he couldn’t because he’d have to walk past “THE DOG” (which is how your harmless little pooch appears in his mind) to get out - if he was so afraid he asked you to put her behind your legs, then that’s a real possibility. Doesn’t matter if she was on such a short leash she couldn’t reach him, because he’s not being rational right now. Bring your spider phobia to Australia & be told you have to sleep in a room with a 6 inch huntsman spider on the ceiling above your bed, and THEN you might develop some compassion.
I think those who don't understand phobias need to get educated and they are darn lucky. I have a phobia of being walked up from behind. Why? Because my ex husband did it all the time. He would put me in a choke hold and throw me to the floor and kick and beat me. That was decades ago. Hence, I can't eat out in restaurants if I can't sit in a way that there is a wall to my back and no way anyone can walk up behind me. Do you know how hard it is to find a seat like that? So I just don't go to restaurants. I hate shopping because of people behind me so thankfully I can have groceries delivered. I live alone so I know no one is going to come up behind me. I have baseball bats throughout the house incase someone breaks in but I have things in place for that. Too many people just don't realize how debilitating phobias are. Even after therapy I still have this issue. Hate it but what is one supposed to do? I'm just one of millions on this earth with these issues.
OP is totally TAH and a jackwagon to boot. I was going with a soft AH, until OP stated that the young man was being a baby. Phobias are a horrible thing to live with and if a huge spider were to drop down in front of her, would her actions be labeled as being a baby too? She needs to learn from her aunt and find a little compassion, or she in her wisdom of 27 years is going to find the world a harsh place.
Him offering to get out, wouldn't work very well in this situation, because he would have to walk straight past the dog, because she is likely standing in the doorway of the elevator. So he would have to explain to her and she would have to walk further away, he would have to walk out, she would have to walk back in and hope the elevator hasn't started going down by that point. So she wouldn't win much time, compared to taking the next one, so it makes sense for him not to offer it.
So if I have a phobia of being in an elevator with other people It's ok if I tell them to F off and catch the next one. Seams perfectly acceptable.
Can't believe how selfish you are OP! He could have a phobia because he was attacked by a dog or something in his past triggers his fear. What an uncaring attitude (that stinks btw) when it wouldn't have caused you any trouble to take the next elevator. He was already in. If you were in first, that's a different story. And btw, if you have a fear of dogs, it doesn't matter about the size. It's you that wasn't being an adult. " I have every right to use the elevator" childish attitude towards someone who is simply afraid of dogs. You'd feel very different if you had a child (no matter what age they are) who was this way. YTA massively!!!!!
First up, I googled it and chiweenies are freaking ADORABLE. With that said, this woman is a complete jerk. Phobias aren't rational, and you don't choose to have them. I've seen people freaking out over something they're phobic about, and it actually kind of does look ridiculous, but that doesn't mean it isn't real, and she needs to get a clue and stop being needlessly cruel. Anyway, here's a picture of a chiweenie to lighten the mood. Awww. Chiweenie-...03755d.jpg
IT'S not the size of the dog; it's simply that it's a dog. I know someone who has chiweenie and that little dog is a terror. Plus, their teeth-regardless of how small hurt. My dogs have grazed my hand - didn't bite down, just grazed and man did it hurt. I can't imagine a dog bite.
Load More Replies...NAH. The boy has the right to ask for his triggers to be accomodated, and it would've been nice for OP to help but it's NEVER necessary. I have my own personal triggers and it's MY responsibility and mine only to avoid them.
I’m deeply saddened that you feel that it’s too much to expect kindness, compassion and consideration from others with respect to your triggers. Of course they’re on you to manage to the best of your ability but I would consider it a form of mental abuse if I knew something triggers you and deliberately imposed it/them on you. Called you a baby for a reaction you can’t control. I utterly disagree with your statement that being accommodating and nice towards others is never necessary. I consider kindness to be an essential part of a functional society.
Load More Replies...OP is a complete a-hole. It's kind of amazing that she can't even fathom that she's in the wrong here. It doesn't matter that her dog is a saint and loves everyone and is also a therapy dog to children with cancer and also volunteers at a soup kitchen. It doesn't matter that her dog is only 7 pounds. If someone is afraid of dogs, THEY ARE AFRAID OF DOGS. Sometimes phobias and fears are irrational. It would cost OP nothing to wait 30 seconds for the next elevator, but instead she sounds like she's one of "those" kind of dog people. I have two large-breed dogs myself and I would NEVER force my dogs into someone's presence if they said they were afraid of dogs (and my dogs are ALSO very friendly.) As an aside, a "Chiweenie" is not a thing. It's not a breed. OP, you have a mutt.
Forgot to add (and ran out of room above): just because OP lives in a building that ALLOWS dogs does NOT mean that every single resident (even those without dogs) MUST CATER to the lives of said dogs. It does not mean that the building is CENTERED around dogs. It does not mean that the dogs come before the residents. It does not mean that the lives of all of the residents revolve around the dogs. I'm also amused that OP is only 27 herself but calls a "20-ish" guy a "kid". XD
Load More Replies...My go-to rule is whoever was in the elevator first has the right and the incompatible side has to wait for the next one. So yes, YTA, even as someone who routinely prefers dogs to people
I agree. I've been asked to wait for the next elevator before. Once for a disabled person without much room and once for a young man who was obviously having some kind of panic attack and his friend was taking him to be checked in. I wonder what OP would have done in either of those situations because I can't even imagine being like "No! I have every right to use this elevator!" that's what I consider entitled behavior. We live in a society where everyone is entitled to a little consideration. So what's less considerate: asking someone to take the next elevator or entering an occupied elevator and frightening someone with your pet when you could have easily waited? It's a no brainer.
Load More Replies...OP is definitely TA, and the two people (one here on BP, one on Reddit) saying he should have gotten off the elevator are being flat-out ridiculous. The phobic man was there first, not the person with the dog. OP could have easily waited for the next elevator instead of putting that guy through hell and back. It would have been different if OP was on the elevator first, but they weren’t, and that makes all the difference.
Also, if he would have gotten of, it meant he has to pass the dog. If OP waited, the distance works have been kept.
Load More Replies...I like the adress... so they can se this thread. WHAT AN ENTITLED A$$HOLE WOMAN... May karma kick her a$$... I get so mad!! i'm so sorry for the young man.. 🤗🤗🤗
I love the way op calls itself an adult when it comes to "if a neighbour had a pet spider" part, when op wasn't an adult about caring about another human being's phobia. That person was in the elevator first; let's just go with that. op YOU take another elevator.
The sheer fact that she was trying to start an argument with a person shaking in fear... just read the room (/ elevator).
As someone living wirh the exact same phobia than this kid, I understand his reaction very well. That's NOT the size of the dog that matters! You're deadly afraid of chihuahas AND rottweillers, it's easier to defend yourself against the first one but that's all. Op shouldn't live in a humans friendly apartment. As a mean bastard I would randomly spread as many realistic toy spiders I can.
As the mother of a young autistic boy that is petrified of dogs for absolutely no reason, this would p**s me off to no end. She accuses the man of being entitled, whereas she herself is. The man likely has no choice but to live in a dog-friendly apartment building, because nowadays it is SO difficult to find anywhere that does not accommodate dogs. People pass their animals off as 'service animals' and bring them into grocery stores, restaurants, etc. You literally cannot go ANYWHERE without seeing a dog. We purposely seek out the 'no dogs allowed' playgrounds, beaches, etc. for my son, and there is ALWAYS someone there that has brought a dog. And it doesn't matter 'how sweet' the dog is, or how many times the person says 'oh my dog is very friendly!'. If a person is scared of dogs, they're scared of dogs. And YOUR dog is not going to magically cure their phobia.
I love animals, especially dogs. I've had dogs in my life for my entire life. I currently have two large-breed dogs (a Belgian Malinois and a German Shepherd mix.) I am a dog person. And I LOATHE dog owners who just parade into "no dogs allowed" places with their dogs. I get angry at people who stroll through grocery stores with their pet dogs. I know some people have allergies, and some people have phobias like your son does. I feel it is completely unfair for dog owners to take their dogs places that the dogs are not supposed to be/not allowed to go. My two dogs actually ARE very friendly, but I still never "push" them into others' presence. That is just such a disgustingly selfish behavior.
Load More Replies...I adore animals. So much so, that I'm involved in animal welfare. That said, you don't know other's experiences with animals and you're most certainly not going to be able to force anyone to overcome their anxieties through actions like this. Your actions are why dogs get kicked and hurt. One massive, humongous YTA
I would never let my little dog near someone who makes it obvious they have a fear or hatred towards him. All it takes is one kick from a jerk and the dog is dead or crippled. Cases have been documented. But I agree it's a public place, and it's not up to me to pander to someone else's fear, phobia, etc. If small enough just pick the animal up.
One of the rare occasions I actually agree with the YTAs. How much of a hassle would that actually have been for OP to take the next elevator?
None. But it's the principle of the thing. OP doesn't think she should have to make an effort to prevent the suffering of another human being. She's a bully who takes satisfaction in hurting others.
Load More Replies...Another AITA where just because you are within your right to do something doesn't mean you should.
I’m not a dog person. I can share space with dogs, but I don’t prefer to. A mall I frequent has now become “dog friendly,” which means now I have to share a space I previously didn’t have to, with dogs. Or not go to that mall. It’s not clear from the post if he moved into a dog friendly apartment building or if it changed after he moved in. Either way she’s TA.
That NTA saying he should have got off - fuckrightoff - he was already in there.
Totally YTA. I think like most comments, I'm going to say there was nothing stopping you from taking the next lift. If you were in there first and he asked you to get out, that would be different. SInce he was in there first, you could have waited. I say this as a dog owner, a dog lover and someone who used to hang out at the dog park before I could get my own dog. I walk around with dog (and cat) treats for any I meet along the way. You really need to respect the fact that not only do people have very real phobias but also some people just don't like dogs. I wouldn't want to know those pople, but you should respect the fact and not make your dog, their problem.
YTA, definitely. I must add though that some of these answer stating YTA are off the mark. This person was not a baby, and likely not 'just' phobic. Trauma responses are completely involuntary. I have similar a response to dogs from childhood trauma. I would be rendered nearly helpless, and unable to exit the elevator. Someone that truly understands would know that just passing that dog would be beyond his ability in that traumatic response moment. I'm surprised he could verbalize the request he made. You are SO VERY MUCH THE A**!
I can't believe this women thought that the internet would be sympathetic to her. And to those who agreed (I see your little agreements with the poll) YTA too. A little compassion goes a long way.
f*c*in A and entitled B and heartless C... what sh**ty neighbor this woman is...
im a huge dog lover and get upset that some ppl r afraid of dogs. however i dont get upset bc i feel everyone should love dogs i get upset bc their fear isnt letting them enjoy the happiness a dog can bring into their lives. i would never force a dog upon someone who is afraid of them. the only person i ever did it to was my friend but only bc she asked. she told me she wanted to get over her fear and since i was the one with the smallest dog (15lbs cockapoo) she came to me. took 6 months but she eventually overcame her fear of my dog so we went to our friend who had a dalmation then eventually our friend who had a great dane. if she never asked id never bring my dog around her. these days she has 4 dogs of her own. someone like the kid in the elevator would have a hard time getting over the fear considering his reaction. id never bring my dog near someone in his condition. i would personally wait until i knew we wouldnt bump into each other again before going anywhere. i wouldnt want to give him a scare twice. i have a fear of spiders and one of my best friends loves them to the point where she has multiple types including tarantulas as pets. they r all in the basement and i call her basement the forbidden zone and she has never taken any out while im there or forced me to go down there. thats the proper way to hand someones fear. u never try to make them deal with it or get over it. u never kno y they have the fear. i was bit by a venomous spider and after that i had a fear of spiders. the kid in the elevator couldve been attacked by a dog wen he was younger or some bad experience with a dog. there r ppl who just find them scary bc they can b loud, hyper and growl. my cousins friend wasnt afraid of dogs until she got one. the dog barking randomly triggered fears she already had. every time it barked she thought something bad was happening. she ended up giving the dog to my cousin. since then any time a dog barks she thinks something bad is going to happen. it sounds silly but to her its a very real fear. my cousins dog only barked wen something bad was happening. his playful barks were very low volume so it was never confusing. she thought thats how dogs were which is y she got one. a friendly companion to protect her. she probably shouldve done research before getting her own cuz there is plenty of dog breeds that would b more suited for her. every situation is different. its just common sense to not ignore someones fears no matter wat they r.
I'm so sorry but there is no happiness for me in a dog. I don't hate them. I can tolerate them. I don't attack them or lash out at them. I thought I wanted a dog. I took care of three different friends’ dogs separately and found out quickly that I don't like dogs. (FTR I don't pet sit dogs anymore.) Please don't assume that we dog-less or dog phobic would find happiness in a dog if we just try. I love cats but I don't presume that anybody who doesn't is losing out on the joys of having a cat. Actually this one turd asleep beside me right now can test my limits. The other two are a cat owner's dream come true.
Load More Replies...I agree OP did not behave nicely, but if it is that bad to be close to a dog for that guy, why didn't he just get off the elevator?
OP is not only an A - hole, but an ENTITLED A - HOLE......Exactly what would it have cost her to take the next elevator?
That kid is a kid trying to function with a difficult phobia. OP was being a jerk. The kid was doing his best to avoid his triggers and live in a tough situation. He's more mature than several grown adults I encountered this evening. I just got back from a small-town council meeting where three people want to force the county to euthanise my uncle's dog because the dog BARKED at them and they found it scary. Not endless snarling; a few woof-woofs and then silence as my uncle calmed the animal (he's a rescue from severe abuse, so he's high-strung, but he's never bitten). The dog is a breed known for being gentle, but he happens to have a deep bark. But a few folk are so offended that the dog barked at them, they want him put down for being dangerous even though he didn't bite. THAT is overreacting to discomfort. "I do not want to exist in the same town as a dog with a deep bark." That kid just wanted an elevator ride without a panic attack!
Wow..I can't believe how much of a horse's patootie you are. Do you just not give a f#%k about anybody at all? Are you ever just kind because you can be? You were off to take your dog for a sit on the sidewalk, weren't catching a plane or anything...and you decided that this guys fears/triggers weren't your problem.....you are an A$$hole, and worse, too stupid to know you are
Having had a severe phobia of dogs for the first 30+ years of my life, YTA, more because of your lack of compassion & openly belittling him. The fact that your dog is old, sweet, small, or “won’t hurt you,” is completely irrelevant. Phobias are IRRATIONAL fears. We KNOW it’s irrational, we’re embarrassed & ashamed, but we can’t help it. If I’d been in that situation, I’d have gotten out when you refused to. However, not knowing the specifics of his phobia, maybe he couldn’t because he’d have to walk past “THE DOG” (which is how your harmless little pooch appears in his mind) to get out - if he was so afraid he asked you to put her behind your legs, then that’s a real possibility. Doesn’t matter if she was on such a short leash she couldn’t reach him, because he’s not being rational right now. Bring your spider phobia to Australia & be told you have to sleep in a room with a 6 inch huntsman spider on the ceiling above your bed, and THEN you might develop some compassion.
I think those who don't understand phobias need to get educated and they are darn lucky. I have a phobia of being walked up from behind. Why? Because my ex husband did it all the time. He would put me in a choke hold and throw me to the floor and kick and beat me. That was decades ago. Hence, I can't eat out in restaurants if I can't sit in a way that there is a wall to my back and no way anyone can walk up behind me. Do you know how hard it is to find a seat like that? So I just don't go to restaurants. I hate shopping because of people behind me so thankfully I can have groceries delivered. I live alone so I know no one is going to come up behind me. I have baseball bats throughout the house incase someone breaks in but I have things in place for that. Too many people just don't realize how debilitating phobias are. Even after therapy I still have this issue. Hate it but what is one supposed to do? I'm just one of millions on this earth with these issues.
OP is totally TAH and a jackwagon to boot. I was going with a soft AH, until OP stated that the young man was being a baby. Phobias are a horrible thing to live with and if a huge spider were to drop down in front of her, would her actions be labeled as being a baby too? She needs to learn from her aunt and find a little compassion, or she in her wisdom of 27 years is going to find the world a harsh place.
Him offering to get out, wouldn't work very well in this situation, because he would have to walk straight past the dog, because she is likely standing in the doorway of the elevator. So he would have to explain to her and she would have to walk further away, he would have to walk out, she would have to walk back in and hope the elevator hasn't started going down by that point. So she wouldn't win much time, compared to taking the next one, so it makes sense for him not to offer it.
So if I have a phobia of being in an elevator with other people It's ok if I tell them to F off and catch the next one. Seams perfectly acceptable.
Can't believe how selfish you are OP! He could have a phobia because he was attacked by a dog or something in his past triggers his fear. What an uncaring attitude (that stinks btw) when it wouldn't have caused you any trouble to take the next elevator. He was already in. If you were in first, that's a different story. And btw, if you have a fear of dogs, it doesn't matter about the size. It's you that wasn't being an adult. " I have every right to use the elevator" childish attitude towards someone who is simply afraid of dogs. You'd feel very different if you had a child (no matter what age they are) who was this way. YTA massively!!!!!
First up, I googled it and chiweenies are freaking ADORABLE. With that said, this woman is a complete jerk. Phobias aren't rational, and you don't choose to have them. I've seen people freaking out over something they're phobic about, and it actually kind of does look ridiculous, but that doesn't mean it isn't real, and she needs to get a clue and stop being needlessly cruel. Anyway, here's a picture of a chiweenie to lighten the mood. Awww. Chiweenie-...03755d.jpg
IT'S not the size of the dog; it's simply that it's a dog. I know someone who has chiweenie and that little dog is a terror. Plus, their teeth-regardless of how small hurt. My dogs have grazed my hand - didn't bite down, just grazed and man did it hurt. I can't imagine a dog bite.
Load More Replies...NAH. The boy has the right to ask for his triggers to be accomodated, and it would've been nice for OP to help but it's NEVER necessary. I have my own personal triggers and it's MY responsibility and mine only to avoid them.
I’m deeply saddened that you feel that it’s too much to expect kindness, compassion and consideration from others with respect to your triggers. Of course they’re on you to manage to the best of your ability but I would consider it a form of mental abuse if I knew something triggers you and deliberately imposed it/them on you. Called you a baby for a reaction you can’t control. I utterly disagree with your statement that being accommodating and nice towards others is never necessary. I consider kindness to be an essential part of a functional society.
Load More Replies...
27
70