“He Was Being A Baby”: Woman Refuses To Accommodate Dog-Phobic Neighbor, Gets Called Out
Dogs are wonderful beings, there’s no doubt about it. But not everyone is equally thrilled about being in their vicinity, often due to fears and phobias.
Take this redditor’s neighbor, for instance. For him, the fear of dogs was so strong, he had to ask the OP not to enter the elevator he was in with her Chiweenie. But the dog owner disregarded his request, which later made her wonder if she was a jerk to her neighbor.
Scroll down to find the full story and the netizens’ verdict below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with a Canada Research Chair in Clinical Cyberpsychology, Dr. Stéphane Bouchard, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions about phobias.
It’s important for dog owners to remember that not everyone is equally fond of their beloved pet
Image credits: Pascal Mager (not the actual image)
This woman’s neighbor was fearful of dogs, which made her wonder if she was a jerk for exposing him to her Chiweenie
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual image)
Image credits: Derrick Treadwell (not the actual image)
Image credits: Fuzzy_Divide_3661
Some people fear all kinds of dogs the same, often due to cynophobia
While dogs are the most popular pet, believed to be man’s best friend, not everyone is equally fond of them; and there can be many reasons why. But for quite a few individuals, it’s fear that stands in the way of them and doggos, even if they’re told to be the goodest of bois.
For people with such a fear, the fact that the owner considers their dog friendly might not change a thing about how they feel. The size of the pet might not make much difference, either, as a seven-pound Chihuahua can make someone feel as anxious as a 70-pound German shepherd would.
For those who aren’t that scared of dogs, it might seem odd that something this big can be equally scary as something this tiny (and shivering). But fear is rarely ever rational, especially if it’s a full-fledged phobia. While it is difficult to determine how many people exactly live with a phobia of dogs—known as cynophobia—some sources suggest that roughly one-in-three people with an animal phobia have an overwhelming fear of dogs. In general, phobias are believed to affect roughly 9% of the population in the US.
“By definition, a phobia involves emotional and behavioral reactions that are hard to regulate and more intense than most people would have,” Dr. Stéphane Bouchard noted in a recent interview with Bored Panda. “Depending on the severity of the phobia and the context, these reactions may be impossible to regulate. Some people will break into tears, run away from situations, or freeze. As with all phobias, different features of the feared stimuli, in this case dogs, can trigger the panic reaction. Some people with dog phobia will be afraid of dogs of any size or breed, while some others will be more afraid of larger dogs or barking dogs, for example.”
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual image)
Living with cynophobia is not easy, especially with dogs being the most popular choice for a pet
While living with fear of any kind is a far from pleasant experience, fearing dogs might be especially difficult bearing in mind just how strongly enmeshed in people’s lives they are. Nowadays, close to a half of households in the US own a dog as a pet, which they have to take outside regularly. Not only that, quite a few people take their dogs along on hikes, to run errands, or even to the office, not to mention the pet-friendly restaurants and cafes.
While a person with cynophobia is probably unlikely to choose a pet-friendly restaurant for a night out, they can’t avoid going out on the street, where they are likely to encounter a dog. In a piece for the Pacific Standard, Benoit Denizet-Lewis, author of Travels With Casey: My Journey Through Our Dog-Crazy Country, wrote about how such situations make people with cynophobia feel and cited one saying: “I’d question everywhere I was invited. If there were a chance I’d meet a dog, I wouldn’t leave the house.”
To make matters worse, cynophobia is just one of the numerous phobias that make people’s lives difficult. According to the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health (LACDMH), phobias are divided into categories based on the cause of the negative reaction, with the main categories including agoraphobia – the fear of being alone, social phobia – the fear of being watched or humiliated while doing something in front of others, and specific phobia, which, as you probably gathered, relates to any specific object or situation that evokes irrational fear. That means a person can have a phobia of basically anything in life, even such seemingly unalarming things as cotton wool (the fear of which is called sidonglobophobia) or holes (trypophobia), just to name a couple.
Image credits: Megan (Markham) Bucknall (not the actual image)
“A phobia may be associated with significant distress and limitations in one’s personal, social, or professional life,” the expert says
“Phobias must be taken seriously, although it is important to be more nuanced when considering phobic reactions in children,” Dr. Bouchard told Bored Panda. “Many children will have phobic-like reactions to strangers, clowns, doctors, insects or large dogs. In these cases, it is important to see if the fears are appropriate to the children’s age and see if they disappear by themselves over time.
“Most people with a specific phobia will find ways to cope with their phobia and it may go unnoticed. It may nevertheless be associated with significant distress and limitations in one’s personal, social, or professional life,” the expert added. “I have provided psychotherapy to people with spider phobia who sold their house because they feared ‘spiders made nests’ in the walls of their bedroom, to people who refused to give blood transfusions to their children because they were too afraid of blood and needles, or refused significant work promotions or attending their children’s weddings in other countries because they were too afraid to fly in an airplane. Phobias are real and intense reactions associated with distress. They are also associated with avoidance behaviors that may appear unnecessary or exaggerated. But not taking people’s phobias seriously is not helping anyone.”
Summing up, Dr. Bouchard noted that by definition, a phobia is a marked fearful or anxious reaction associated with avoidance that causes clinically significant distress or impairment. “It actually needs to affect a person’s life to be considered a phobia, although some people endure the situation or have developed such elaborated avoidance strategies that it does not seem to affect them.”
Whether or not the OP’s neighbor had cynophobia, his reaction to the dog was an expressive enough sign that he didn’t want to be in the same elevator as the dog and its owner. But the latter didn’t care much about his request, which is why the majority of redditors deemed the woman a jerk. Some, however, disagreed with the verdict. Both sides shared their thoughts in the comments.
Fellow netizens believed that the dog owner was a jerk to her neighbor
Some people, however, shared a slightly different opinion
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OP is a complete a-hole. It's kind of amazing that she can't even fathom that she's in the wrong here. It doesn't matter that her dog is a saint and loves everyone and is also a therapy dog to children with cancer and also volunteers at a soup kitchen. It doesn't matter that her dog is only 7 pounds. If someone is afraid of dogs, THEY ARE AFRAID OF DOGS. Sometimes phobias and fears are irrational. It would cost OP nothing to wait 30 seconds for the next elevator, but instead she sounds like she's one of "those" kind of dog people. I have two large-breed dogs myself and I would NEVER force my dogs into someone's presence if they said they were afraid of dogs (and my dogs are ALSO very friendly.) As an aside, a "Chiweenie" is not a thing. It's not a breed. OP, you have a mutt.
Forgot to add (and ran out of room above): just because OP lives in a building that ALLOWS dogs does NOT mean that every single resident (even those without dogs) MUST CATER to the lives of said dogs. It does not mean that the building is CENTERED around dogs. It does not mean that the dogs come before the residents. It does not mean that the lives of all of the residents revolve around the dogs. I'm also amused that OP is only 27 herself but calls a "20-ish" guy a "kid". XD
Load More Replies...My go-to rule is whoever was in the elevator first has the right and the incompatible side has to wait for the next one. So yes, YTA, even as someone who routinely prefers dogs to people
I agree. I've been asked to wait for the next elevator before. Once for a disabled person without much room and once for a young man who was obviously having some kind of panic attack and his friend was taking him to be checked in. I wonder what OP would have done in either of those situations because I can't even imagine being like "No! I have every right to use this elevator!" that's what I consider entitled behavior. We live in a society where everyone is entitled to a little consideration. So what's less considerate: asking someone to take the next elevator or entering an occupied elevator and frightening someone with your pet when you could have easily waited? It's a no brainer.
Load More Replies...OP is a complete a-hole. It's kind of amazing that she can't even fathom that she's in the wrong here. It doesn't matter that her dog is a saint and loves everyone and is also a therapy dog to children with cancer and also volunteers at a soup kitchen. It doesn't matter that her dog is only 7 pounds. If someone is afraid of dogs, THEY ARE AFRAID OF DOGS. Sometimes phobias and fears are irrational. It would cost OP nothing to wait 30 seconds for the next elevator, but instead she sounds like she's one of "those" kind of dog people. I have two large-breed dogs myself and I would NEVER force my dogs into someone's presence if they said they were afraid of dogs (and my dogs are ALSO very friendly.) As an aside, a "Chiweenie" is not a thing. It's not a breed. OP, you have a mutt.
Forgot to add (and ran out of room above): just because OP lives in a building that ALLOWS dogs does NOT mean that every single resident (even those without dogs) MUST CATER to the lives of said dogs. It does not mean that the building is CENTERED around dogs. It does not mean that the dogs come before the residents. It does not mean that the lives of all of the residents revolve around the dogs. I'm also amused that OP is only 27 herself but calls a "20-ish" guy a "kid". XD
Load More Replies...My go-to rule is whoever was in the elevator first has the right and the incompatible side has to wait for the next one. So yes, YTA, even as someone who routinely prefers dogs to people
I agree. I've been asked to wait for the next elevator before. Once for a disabled person without much room and once for a young man who was obviously having some kind of panic attack and his friend was taking him to be checked in. I wonder what OP would have done in either of those situations because I can't even imagine being like "No! I have every right to use this elevator!" that's what I consider entitled behavior. We live in a society where everyone is entitled to a little consideration. So what's less considerate: asking someone to take the next elevator or entering an occupied elevator and frightening someone with your pet when you could have easily waited? It's a no brainer.
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