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Woman Is Told She’s “Overreacting And Conservative” After Her Reaction To Lingerie Prank
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Woman Is Told She’s “Overreacting And Conservative” After Her Reaction To Lingerie Prank

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Partner vs friends: a dilemma some couples need to face sooner or later in their relationships. A 2018 study found that couples where a partner didn’t like at least one of their significant other’s friends were two times more likely to get a divorce. So, it turns out friends can have a significant influence on who we end up with.

This woman had enough of her boyfriend’s friends when he bought one of his female BFFs red lingerie as a prank. What’s worse, he even blamed her for not being open-minded. Not sure what to think, the girlfriend checked in with netizens, asking if she was too uptight in this situation.

The woman also agreed to have a chat with Bored Panda. She told us how posting her story online helped her see the situation more clearly. She also elaborated on the update she posted a few days after her original post. Read our conversation with u/Conscious-Jicama2133 and her update below!

Red lingerie is usually a gift for romantic partners, not platonic friends

Image credits: Bruno Mendes / pexels (not the actual photo)

This BF expected his GF to be cool with the fact that he ‘pranked’ his best friend with lingerie, but she wasn’t, unfortunately

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Image credits: Budgeron Bach / pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image source: Conscious-Jicama2133

The author decided to go through with the breakup, during which the boyfriend decided to insult her further

Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)

Three days after u/Conscious-Jicama2133 posted the original story, she came back with an update. In it, she detailed how the input from many netizens was “eye-opening.” Although she admitted that her boyfriend was kind and loving before this whole fiasco, this particular situation with ‘Claire’ resulted in their breakup.

Granted, the boyfriend reached out to u/Conscious-Jicama2133 to meet. But, when they started talking, he still blamed her. “He said that he understood where I was coming from. But I was always too uptight to understand that friendship is friendship,” the Redditor wrote.

“He and Claire had known each other for years before I came into the picture, and I cannot expect him to just ruin their dynamic.” The boyfriend and ‘Claire’ also blamed the author for making them feel like cheaters and homewreckers.

The guy also brought up one of his girlfriend’s biggest insecurities: appearing boring. “He thought it was better I find someone like me, who thought the idea of a fun night was junk food and a movie indoors,” the netizen added.

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The reaction to the breakup from the guy’s friends was also icky at best. One friend, Kyle, apparently told u/Conscious-Jicama2133 that he was sad the pair had broken up. “But he could understand that some women can’t handle female best friends, especially if they look like Claire,” the Redditor wrote.

This did a number on the author and her self-esteem. She ended her post by saying she feels extremely insecure about herself. Luckily, many commenters showed her support, with one saying: “You did dodge a bullet.”

The woman is now happy, more so after the boyfriend showed his true colors later

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo)

We reached out to u/Conscious-Jicama2133 via Reddit, and she kindly agreed to tell us how she’s currently doing. “I’m good now, I guess,” she wrote in a message. “I have spent a bit of time thinking these past couple of days and am mostly mad at myself for letting others, especially my ex, treat me like that.”

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She says she and those close to her cut all contact with the ex-boyfriend and his friends. In fact, they even blocked them all. “No one from my side stalks or sees his or Claire’s social media,” the Redditor adds.

This was prompted by a less-than-classy post the ex made on Instagram. u/Conscious-Jicama2133 tells us he wrote, “Girls will come and go, but friendship is for life.” These words cleared all her doubts. “Needless to say, it looks like I finally got the ick,” she told us.

The Redditor says that the support and comments she got from other Redditors really helped. “I realize now that I was kind of being gaslighted? Hearing from so many strangers [about] how what was happening to me was not normal was eye-opening and certainly needed,” she now believes.

When it comes to sharing advice with people who might be going through something similar, u/Conscious-Jicama2133 isn’t quick to impart any sort of lesson. She did, however, learn the hard way about the importance of setting boundaries. “Please don’t let people trample over your boundaries. If they don’t respect you, then leave.”

A person shared a similar story, and the ending wasn’t a platonic friendship

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Many people showed support for the girlfriend, calling out the boyfriend’s weird behavior

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Others agreed with the boyfriend and his friends, saying it was just a harmless prank

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Kornelija Viečaitė

Kornelija Viečaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

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Kornelija Viečaitė

Kornelija Viečaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

Kotryna Br

Kotryna Br

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

Read less »

Kotryna Br

Kotryna Br

Author, BoredPanda staff

Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

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winterwidow87
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My fiancée and one of her male coworkers (for context: she' s bisexual and her coworkers know, they all also know we're getting married next year and i have met some of them) have a playful flirty relationship, and that means he pretends to hit on her and she always finds creative ways to reject him. They both find it funny and other coworkers laugh about it too, and she always tells me everything. I am not bothered by this because i know it's not serious, but if she ever came back home with se.x.y lingerie and told me that coworker bought it for her i'd be upset and confront her about it. Even my autistic butt knows some gestures have specific meanings and aren't "just pranks", and buying someone se.x.y lingerie means you wanna see them try it on and possibly sleep with them. NTA, OP is better off without both of them in her life.

LB
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My autistic butt agrees with yours. I have zero anxiety when people just tell me what's happening. Lingerie is too far for someone you've called beautiful and out of your league before. Mayyyybe if he'd come home all excited about the prank gift (look what I got her XD XD) it would have worked out differently. Also: WHY DOES HE KNOW HER SIZE

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PattyK
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A psychiatrist once told me that practical jokes (“pranks”) are never harmless. There’s always some negative feeling behind them. OP needs to consider whether there is lust behind BF’s “prank.” Also, lingerie is extremely personal. What were BF and Claire thinking?

Libstak
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree with everyone saying 28 is too old for prank wars amongst friends. Nobody should be called out for having fun and staying in touch with child like joys. I had a group of friends at that age that were full of fun. I brought one edible undies as a gag gift, I absolutely never wanted to see him in them, that would have been icky but it was funny cos he liked his alcohol and they were vodka flavoured, he also liked his women "casual" and was full of sexual exploit stories that everyone rolled their eyes and ribbed him for.

BlackestDawn
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But if your (potential?) partner said they didn't feel comfortable with you buying someone else edible/sexy undies would you still do it? While I agree that pranks and such doesn't have a set age limit you still have to take boundaries of other people into consideration, and give proper explanations when they ask for it.

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winterwidow87
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My fiancée and one of her male coworkers (for context: she' s bisexual and her coworkers know, they all also know we're getting married next year and i have met some of them) have a playful flirty relationship, and that means he pretends to hit on her and she always finds creative ways to reject him. They both find it funny and other coworkers laugh about it too, and she always tells me everything. I am not bothered by this because i know it's not serious, but if she ever came back home with se.x.y lingerie and told me that coworker bought it for her i'd be upset and confront her about it. Even my autistic butt knows some gestures have specific meanings and aren't "just pranks", and buying someone se.x.y lingerie means you wanna see them try it on and possibly sleep with them. NTA, OP is better off without both of them in her life.

LB
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My autistic butt agrees with yours. I have zero anxiety when people just tell me what's happening. Lingerie is too far for someone you've called beautiful and out of your league before. Mayyyybe if he'd come home all excited about the prank gift (look what I got her XD XD) it would have worked out differently. Also: WHY DOES HE KNOW HER SIZE

Load More Replies...
PattyK
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A psychiatrist once told me that practical jokes (“pranks”) are never harmless. There’s always some negative feeling behind them. OP needs to consider whether there is lust behind BF’s “prank.” Also, lingerie is extremely personal. What were BF and Claire thinking?

Libstak
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree with everyone saying 28 is too old for prank wars amongst friends. Nobody should be called out for having fun and staying in touch with child like joys. I had a group of friends at that age that were full of fun. I brought one edible undies as a gag gift, I absolutely never wanted to see him in them, that would have been icky but it was funny cos he liked his alcohol and they were vodka flavoured, he also liked his women "casual" and was full of sexual exploit stories that everyone rolled their eyes and ribbed him for.

BlackestDawn
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But if your (potential?) partner said they didn't feel comfortable with you buying someone else edible/sexy undies would you still do it? While I agree that pranks and such doesn't have a set age limit you still have to take boundaries of other people into consideration, and give proper explanations when they ask for it.

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