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Man Abandons Family For Mistress, Shocked Estranged Wife Won’t Care For Him When He’s Sick
Family fights can be many things, but one thing’s for sure—they’re rarely easy to deal with.
This Redditor appears to know that better than most. After finding out that her brother-in-law, who had been having an affair for years, wanted to return to his family, she sided with her sister-in-law and said he shouldn’t be welcomed back.
But what she didn’t expect was for her comment to upset her husband, and now she’s left wondering if she should have kept her thoughts to herself.
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After finding out that her cheating brother-in-law wanted to return to his family, the woman said he shouldn’t be welcomed back
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But to her surprise, this response didn’t sit well with her husband
Image credits: Nini FromParis / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: DrinkOk538
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
About 4 in 10 marriages experience an affair
Cheating is one of the most devastating things that can happen in a marriage. But unfortunately, it’s not that uncommon.
Psychiatrist Dr. Scott Haltzman, author of The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity, notes in his research that about 4 in 10 marriages will experience an affair. Despite this, more than half of these couples choose to stay together.
Continuing a relationship after infidelity isn’t always the healthiest or most reasonable option. In cases like the one described in the story, where the couple hasn’t lived together for six years, it raises the question of whether there’s any point in trying to work things out.
However, Rachael Pace at Marriage.com suggests that certain factors can help rebuild a relationship if both partners are committed. It starts with the desire to repair the marriage. “This means prioritizing your marriage, not just while things feel broken, but from this point on for the rest of your relationship,” Pace explains.
Another crucial step is to end the affair completely if it hasn’t already been addressed. “To have a successful marriage after infidelity, all third parties need to be removed from the relationship. This is the only way to restore trust,” Pace says.
Recovery after cheating depends heavily on effective communication, even when it feels painful. It’s important to talk, listen, and allow each other the space to process emotions. Seeking professional help, such as working with a couples counselor, can also provide valuable guidance and mediation throughout the process.
In the replies, the woman noted that she couldn’t understand why the couple was still married
Most readers agreed she was right to call out her brother-in-law
Some, however, felt it wasn’t her place to say anything
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What do you think ?
Abner_Mality 1 day ago
Exactly this! Once you abandon your family, you can't come back
Load More Replies...
Anxious&Bored Bear 2 days ago
Sounds like BIL has plenty of volunteers to take care of him. Oh, that's not what they meant by family helps family? Imagine that.
person (i think) 2 days ago (edited)
Exactly. Family supports family! Why would their MIL want the brother to live with such a ‘heartless’ lady anyway when he clearly needs the additional coddling only this toxic family knows how to give! Moving in with his parents is the perfect solution! Edit: corrected autocorrect
Load More Replies...
Melissa Harris 2 days ago (edited)
Poor OP is delusional about her husband. He, his brother and their family lack moral fiber. Her husband either condones his brother's actions or is a coward. I personally couldn't have any respect for a person like that. It sounds to me like she relizes her husband's lack of integrity is a cancer eating away at their marriage. The writing is on the wall and the OP just doesn't want to read it. She no longer respects her husband.
Beth Wheeler 2 days ago
The answer for him is HELL NO you're not coming back to MY house. He abandoned his wife and kid to screw around in another country for years and not support his wife and kid. If she hasn't done it already she needs to change all of the locks on her house, pack his c**p and put it in the yard, he can let Mommy take care of his sorry cheating a*s!
Brazen 2 days ago
The secretary where I used to work, had a son that left his wife and four kids behind when he moved to Mexico. He moved in with another woman, had kids with her and never had any intention of supporting the family he had originally. One day she was complaining to me that his soon to be ex wife wanted to get married again, and then change the kids last name to the guy she was with...who wanted to adopt them. This pissed off my co-worker saying that the woman had no right to do this, her son is their father...etc. etc. I really wanted to say that her son abandoned them, hasn't spoken to them in years...he is not their father. The man who stepped up to raise them and be there for them is now their father. *sigh* I held my tongue because of office politics, and I still regret not saying that to this day.
Janelle Collard 2 days ago
OP better watch out for *more* red flags from her hubs if he thinks his bro did "Nothing wrong." So - moving away for a job, being gone for years, *not* sending wife $$$ to support her + their child, having a mistress + baby is totally normal, right? And the in-laws are ok with all this? Totally f**cked up family.
Darthest Starfish 2 days ago
Your husband needs to be your ex. This is an Eiffel Tower sized red flag.
R Dennis 2 days ago
If it were my brother, I would tell him he made his decision and he has to live with the consequences. If I were the "wife", I wouldn't even want to know or care when he died... unless there was a payout. Because he has no value as a husband, father, or even as a human. You abandon your spouse and child? You can f**k (all the way) off.
RP 2 days ago (edited)
Am I the only one who get's the feeling there might be a cultural elements to this (not the cheating obviously, but the brothers' relationship)? Suing someone for having an affair sounds like something you'd do in the Chinese or South Korean legal system or am I completely off-base?
Pandapoo 2 days ago
I don’t think you can sue for an affair in the US, but you can probably sue for abandonment and get back pay for child support and maybe alimony. At minimum she should have claimed abandonment and got divorced in the first year he pulled this c**p.
Load More Replies... 
The Starsong Princess 2 days ago
You should double down and be very clear that you will divorce your husband if he does something like this. I hope your sil has lawyered up.
Mark Childers 1 day ago
I admit to cheating here and there when I was really young (early 20's), but they weren't exclusive relationships, so I didn't consider it cheating. I got a little older and realized that it was hard to keep several people around and getting to know them, and I didn't really deserve to get to know them. Since then, I never considered cheating even in casual relationships. It's so destructive to the other person and yourself. If a person realizes their eyes are wandering, they should have an honest talk with their SO first to decide whether stay together or end the relationship. It prevents so much damage.
Abner_Mality 1 day ago
Exactly this! Once you abandon your family, you can't come back
Load More Replies... Anxious&Bored Bear 2 days ago
Sounds like BIL has plenty of volunteers to take care of him. Oh, that's not what they meant by family helps family? Imagine that.
person (i think) 2 days ago (edited)
Exactly. Family supports family! Why would their MIL want the brother to live with such a ‘heartless’ lady anyway when he clearly needs the additional coddling only this toxic family knows how to give! Moving in with his parents is the perfect solution! Edit: corrected autocorrect
Load More Replies... Melissa Harris 2 days ago (edited)
Poor OP is delusional about her husband. He, his brother and their family lack moral fiber. Her husband either condones his brother's actions or is a coward. I personally couldn't have any respect for a person like that. It sounds to me like she relizes her husband's lack of integrity is a cancer eating away at their marriage. The writing is on the wall and the OP just doesn't want to read it. She no longer respects her husband.
Beth Wheeler 2 days ago
The answer for him is HELL NO you're not coming back to MY house. He abandoned his wife and kid to screw around in another country for years and not support his wife and kid. If she hasn't done it already she needs to change all of the locks on her house, pack his c**p and put it in the yard, he can let Mommy take care of his sorry cheating a*s!
Brazen 2 days ago
The secretary where I used to work, had a son that left his wife and four kids behind when he moved to Mexico. He moved in with another woman, had kids with her and never had any intention of supporting the family he had originally. One day she was complaining to me that his soon to be ex wife wanted to get married again, and then change the kids last name to the guy she was with...who wanted to adopt them. This pissed off my co-worker saying that the woman had no right to do this, her son is their father...etc. etc. I really wanted to say that her son abandoned them, hasn't spoken to them in years...he is not their father. The man who stepped up to raise them and be there for them is now their father. *sigh* I held my tongue because of office politics, and I still regret not saying that to this day.
Janelle Collard 2 days ago
OP better watch out for *more* red flags from her hubs if he thinks his bro did "Nothing wrong." So - moving away for a job, being gone for years, *not* sending wife $$$ to support her + their child, having a mistress + baby is totally normal, right? And the in-laws are ok with all this? Totally f**cked up family.
Darthest Starfish 2 days ago
Your husband needs to be your ex. This is an Eiffel Tower sized red flag.
R Dennis 2 days ago
If it were my brother, I would tell him he made his decision and he has to live with the consequences. If I were the "wife", I wouldn't even want to know or care when he died... unless there was a payout. Because he has no value as a husband, father, or even as a human. You abandon your spouse and child? You can f**k (all the way) off.
RP 2 days ago (edited)
Am I the only one who get's the feeling there might be a cultural elements to this (not the cheating obviously, but the brothers' relationship)? Suing someone for having an affair sounds like something you'd do in the Chinese or South Korean legal system or am I completely off-base?
Pandapoo 2 days ago
I don’t think you can sue for an affair in the US, but you can probably sue for abandonment and get back pay for child support and maybe alimony. At minimum she should have claimed abandonment and got divorced in the first year he pulled this c**p.
Load More Replies... The Starsong Princess 2 days ago
You should double down and be very clear that you will divorce your husband if he does something like this. I hope your sil has lawyered up.
Mark Childers 1 day ago
I admit to cheating here and there when I was really young (early 20's), but they weren't exclusive relationships, so I didn't consider it cheating. I got a little older and realized that it was hard to keep several people around and getting to know them, and I didn't really deserve to get to know them. Since then, I never considered cheating even in casual relationships. It's so destructive to the other person and yourself. If a person realizes their eyes are wandering, they should have an honest talk with their SO first to decide whether stay together or end the relationship. It prevents so much damage.
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