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Woman Can’t Believe How Bad Of A Mother Her Sister Is, Gives Her A Harsh Reality Check
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Woman Can’t Believe How Bad Of A Mother Her Sister Is, Gives Her A Harsh Reality Check

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When Reddit user Educational-Newt2449 moved in with her family, the woman thought she would be caring only for her mother.

However, she quickly realized that her sister, who was also living with their parents along with her children, was a neglectful mother. And as the situation became increasingly dire, the Redditor found herself stepping in to provide the support and stability the kids desperately needed.

But the intervention sparked an emotional conflict within the household, seriously straining the relationship between the adults. So the woman made a post on r/AITAH, detailing her experience and asking people for an outsider’s perspective on the whole ordeal.

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    This woman was appalled by her sister’s lack of involvement in her kids’ lives

    Image credits Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    So she decided to take action, however, the sister wasn’t happy with the woman’s involvement and took it personally

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    Image credits MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: Educational-Newt2449

    It sounds like the kids really needed a responsible adult

    Image credits: Vika Glitter / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Research says that the uninvolved parenting style is the one most likely to have negative effects on children. Although many children brought up this way become quite independent, they often do so out of necessity and as a means of survival.

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    A prolonged failure to respond to a child’s needs can have devastating consequences both in the short and long term. The most common symptoms of emotional neglect in children include:

    • depression;
    • anxiety;
    • apathy;
    • failure to thrive;
    • hyperactivity;
    • aggression;
    • developmental delays;
    • low self-esteem;
    • substance misuse;
    • withdrawing from friends and activities;
    • appearing uncaring or indifferent;
    • shunning emotional closeness or intimacy.

    Also, people who are neglected as children carry a lot of challenges into their adulthood as well — since their emotional needs weren’t validated in their youth, they may not know how to deal with their feelings when things get heated.

    The most common effects of childhood neglect in adulthood include:

    • post-traumatic stress disorder;
    • depression;
    • emotional unavailability;
    • increasing likelihood of an eating disorder;
    • shunning intimacy;
    • feeling deeply, personally flawed;
    • feeling empty;
    • poor self-discipline;
    • guilt and shame;
    • anger and aggressive behaviors;
    • difficulty trusting others or relying upon anyone else.

    Economist Melissa Kearney, who has been both vilified and praised for her book The Two-Parent Privilege: How Americans Stopped Getting Married and Started Falling Behind, is especially worried about the millions of boys who have just their mothers and no male role models around them.

    So the fact that the author of the post stepped up for the kids is truly commendable, especially since their grandparents are dealing with their own troubles and are limited in their ability to help.

    However, what’s worrying is that her sister, who is clearly overwhelmed with her parenting duties, isn’t actively looking for support. We don’t have the complete picture, and in her defense, in many cases, uninvolved parenting isn’t an intentional choice, so it’s likely that the mom reverted to this style because she has issues of her own.

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    Hopefully, this experience will serve as a wake-up call.

    The woman provided more details on the situation in the comments

    And people who read her story said she did nothing wrong

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

    What do you think ?
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    Julie S
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Their life was good before"? The sister means her life was good before, doing whatever she liked whilst neglecting her children.

    Full of Giggles
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There’s another horrifying aspect nobody comment on. Where are the kids school? Why didn’t they call CPS? Teachers and school administrators are legally required to report suspect neglect and abuse. This family had a kid with moldy hair, one that fell a whole grade level behind, and another won an award about being abused. All things that should have raised red flags. And yet, their schools did nothing. Unbelievable.

    Spencer's slave no longer
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They may well have reached out to the mother, who chose to ignore them. The school probably didn't have contact with anyone else. Schools can't raise red flags unless they know what is going on. Stop blaming the teacher and the school.

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You needed to say something. But at this point, you need to get a social worker involved. You can try and figure out if you can adopt them, but they are being neglected and it is past time to get it on record. There's a good chance the kids will be split up if you can't adopt them, but something has to change. If the child support can go to OP with official guardianship, maybe that can ease some pressure.

    Load More Comments
    Julie S
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Their life was good before"? The sister means her life was good before, doing whatever she liked whilst neglecting her children.

    Full of Giggles
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There’s another horrifying aspect nobody comment on. Where are the kids school? Why didn’t they call CPS? Teachers and school administrators are legally required to report suspect neglect and abuse. This family had a kid with moldy hair, one that fell a whole grade level behind, and another won an award about being abused. All things that should have raised red flags. And yet, their schools did nothing. Unbelievable.

    Spencer's slave no longer
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They may well have reached out to the mother, who chose to ignore them. The school probably didn't have contact with anyone else. Schools can't raise red flags unless they know what is going on. Stop blaming the teacher and the school.

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You needed to say something. But at this point, you need to get a social worker involved. You can try and figure out if you can adopt them, but they are being neglected and it is past time to get it on record. There's a good chance the kids will be split up if you can't adopt them, but something has to change. If the child support can go to OP with official guardianship, maybe that can ease some pressure.

    Load More Comments
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