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Most folks see their partner’s birthday as an excellent excuse to celebrate with them and do something nice. After all, who wants to date a person who does not care about your birthday? However, actually organizing something can be an intensive test of planning and logistics.
A woman asked if she was wrong to cancel her BF’s birthday party after he was multiple hours late. Despite his lateness, he was looking forward to the party and was incensed that she called it off, leading to a fight and him storming out of the house. People online did their best to give some insight and suggestions.
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Being late to your own birthday party is a problem for everyone
Image credits: hellobaliuk (not the actual image)
But one man threw a fit after his GF canceled the party she organized because he was hours late
Image credits: nimito (not the actual image)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: Apprehensive-Mine251
It’s unclear why he couldn’t tell anyone when he would be back
Knowing when to cancel a party is a pretty delicate question, because no two parties are alike. However, if the guest of honor isn’t around, your hands are pretty tied. After all, how can you start cutting the cake, eating, drinking or doing any activities before the “real” part of the party has begun?
The real issue is how he reacted. It’s perhaps understandable to be upset to learn your birthday was canceled, particularly after you had to do extra work. But if it was so important, why did he not take any steps to let people know when he was arriving home? Even if there wasn’t a party, letting your partner know your plans is just common courtesy. Not communicating and then being angry that your partner didn’t read your mind is both very dumb and a red flag.
Similarly, after a few hours, guests will start to leave if you don’t give them an update. If it seems like you don’t care, why should they? He did promise he would be back in time after agreeing to help at work. It’s unclear if he had to help, or he just decided to. After all, there are horrible managers out there who will penalize people for not doing “extra,” even on their birthdays.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
The BF seems awfully angry at the wrong person
Importantly, the friends started to leave first, it’s only then the GF decided it was time to call things off. This is an important detail because he seems to be furious at his GF, despite not taking any steps to rectify the situation. It’s not like she has the responsibility to make them stay. At that point, canceling was just a formality.
To cut him some slack, having to work on your birthday is terrible, having to work extra is even worse. The one thing you are looking forward to is the party, which you are perhaps forced to miss due to circumstances. Then you arrive late, and it’s over. It’s not hard to see how this would make someone grouchy. That being said, everyone has bad days, taking it out like this on your partner is poor behavior.
However, because he seems to have not taken any steps to help himself, or anyone else, it’s hard to sympathize. He agrees to do the work, he is late and he gives zero updates. Being late to your own birthday party, organized by your partner, is normally a bit embarrassing, but if there was some major problem at work or you have a terrible manager, most people would be understanding.
Instead, he is mad at the person who did their best to organize the whole thing in the first place. The details are scarce, but the fight must have been significant enough for him to leave the house. Interestingly, he went to stay with his mom and not one of the many friends who presumably wanted to see him at his birthday. Most likely, they actually knew the circumstances of the fight and would have been a lot less sympathetic to his complaints.
Image credits: Lorene Farrugia (not the actual image)
Many people thought she was in the right and she answered some questions
Netizens thought the BF overreacted
But some thought she could have handled the situation better
Poll Question
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What do you think ?
Libstak 3 weeks ago
A mechanic working those hours? Regularly being called in for work at odd hours? No, nope, he is cheating and an absolute douche to keep his friends and his girlfriend waiting for 5 hours without a word. He could have told his colleague he has to get back to his own birthday party except that weren't no "colleague".
Asswipe 3 weeks ago
Mechanic doesn't necessarily doesn't mean car mechanic. And even if he is a car mechanic, it's not so weird. For example if they do some kind of custom projects and stuff where work might be close to paid hobby. But I'm not defending that behaviour. It's unacceptable from every aspect.
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Papa 3 weeks ago
The first one wasn't completely wrong, but the second one was confusing, and the third one was delusional.
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zububonsai 3 weeks ago
Yup, I bet 50 bucks he was getting his *birthday f**k*
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Traveling Lady Railfan 3 weeks ago
It was my boyfriend's birthday. I told him we were going to have a party. He was really excited. It was going to be starting at 8:00 p.m. he got a phone call at 4:30, said it was a mechanic coworker who needed some help, Could you give me a hand? I'm going to work for a couple of hours, I'll be back in time for the party. Girlfriend goes to party. Friends go to party. They wait 2 hours. No phone calls no texts no updates. Friends go home. Girlfriend goes home. 11:00, boyfriend comes home and says where's my party? They all went home?? I'm going to go tell my mommy!!!!! 😭
CBolt 3 weeks ago
That's pretty much it except for what we hope OP said as he pouted his way out the door, "And don't come back! If you want to get your things you can pick them up any time - they'll be on the lawn, the sidewalk, & maybe in the street. Hey, to Mom."
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Surly Scot 3 weeks ago
Leave him at his mother's house where he belongs, big baby, move on to a man who appreciates you going to the effort of throwing him a party.
Yellow dot 3 weeks ago
It takes two to "communicate differently" and since zero communication was coming from one side, she left. Who tf would not after hours of trying to communicate with no response? This m**o is cheating, cannot convince me otherwise.
CBolt 3 weeks ago (edited)
Long day, 3 hrs round trip to take & eat Thanksgiving dinner with 95-yr-old MIL who as much as accused us of stealing her $, having a couple glasses of restorative wine after getting home - 8s that why I can't figure out what " m**o " is?
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BrownEyedPanda 3 weeks ago
You don't EVEN want to know. For that matter, neither do I.
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Lupita Nyong'heaux 3 weeks ago
i wanna know how the 7% think she shoulda communicated differently when a*****e wouldn't answer the phone or respond to her texts. inquiring minds wanna know...
Justme 3 weeks ago
I would have said something along the lines of the guests are leaving, or the party has ended, or you missed your party, rather than party canceled. Truly she didn’t cancel anything so it was weird that’s how she communicated that.
Load More Replies... Liz The Biz 3 weeks ago
NTA. The guests left because they were bored of waiting. He knew everyone was waiting and he couldn't even be bothered to call, text or answer his phone
The Camera Man 3 weeks ago
I betcha fifty bucks most of the YTAs here are also people who go for a sidepiece birthday f**k while ignoring their real obligations, and then gaslighting their g/f and Mummy.
Amused panda 3 weeks ago
I was reading it thinking...but, what if it was urgent, work that couldn't be delayed...then I got to the detail of what he does for a living and just thought, nah. However, I do think OP should have worded it slightly differently - rather than saying "Party cancelled", 'Party over, shame you missed it' would have been better.
Pittsburgh rare 3 weeks ago (edited)
She's only TA if she believes that flimsy excuse of working odd hours regularly as a mechanic. Guy's totally cheating
PrettyJoyBird 3 weeks ago
Mechanic collegues needing help. No he is cheating. His mommys an enabler. I really hope OP wised up moved on with her life.
Upstaged75 3 weeks ago
Why do women stay with men like this? She can't possibly think she's really in the wrong here?
Mad McQueen 3 weeks ago
He knew. It was for him. His party. All he had to do was tell the caller I'm sorry I'm in the middle of personal stuff I can't help you. Or he could have went to a bathroom and read his messages and given a heads up. 3 hours with Jo contact and it's your fault he got upset and then went and cried to mommy? It wasn't even his bday. Ya need a better bf that should have at least appreciated you trying to hold a party together that he couldn't even bother to message he was gonna be late. Bye Felicia.
CBolt 3 weeks ago (edited)
NTA & I don't see that it matters how she communicated to him that there was no longer a (his) party to attend - if my significant other did what this jerk did, there's no telling how I would have worded it - in the moment, furious, hurt - but it wouldn't have been anywhere as nice or as succinct as OP's msg was. Ditto for responses to his Mommy's texts since she's his enabler.
Suzie 3 weeks ago
You'd think that someone "so excited for the party", he would have bothered showing up for it. He must not have been too excited for it after all. I hope she told his mother that her son didn't bother showing up until 3.5 hours after the party started and couldn't even stay in communication about why he wasn't there or how late he would be.
Gwyn 3 weeks ago
Pretty simply he didn't want to go and can't take confrontation so made himself unavailable during and after the party. If he can't stand up for what he wants and communicate himself then there's no hope for a relationship. What's next... He agrees to have kids when he doesn't want to and then pretends they don't exist?
Libstak 3 weeks ago
A mechanic working those hours? Regularly being called in for work at odd hours? No, nope, he is cheating and an absolute douche to keep his friends and his girlfriend waiting for 5 hours without a word. He could have told his colleague he has to get back to his own birthday party except that weren't no "colleague".
Asswipe 3 weeks ago
Mechanic doesn't necessarily doesn't mean car mechanic. And even if he is a car mechanic, it's not so weird. For example if they do some kind of custom projects and stuff where work might be close to paid hobby. But I'm not defending that behaviour. It's unacceptable from every aspect.
Load More Replies... Papa 3 weeks ago
The first one wasn't completely wrong, but the second one was confusing, and the third one was delusional.
Load More Replies... zububonsai 3 weeks ago
Yup, I bet 50 bucks he was getting his *birthday f**k*
Load More Replies... Traveling Lady Railfan 3 weeks ago
It was my boyfriend's birthday. I told him we were going to have a party. He was really excited. It was going to be starting at 8:00 p.m. he got a phone call at 4:30, said it was a mechanic coworker who needed some help, Could you give me a hand? I'm going to work for a couple of hours, I'll be back in time for the party. Girlfriend goes to party. Friends go to party. They wait 2 hours. No phone calls no texts no updates. Friends go home. Girlfriend goes home. 11:00, boyfriend comes home and says where's my party? They all went home?? I'm going to go tell my mommy!!!!! 😭
CBolt 3 weeks ago
That's pretty much it except for what we hope OP said as he pouted his way out the door, "And don't come back! If you want to get your things you can pick them up any time - they'll be on the lawn, the sidewalk, & maybe in the street. Hey, to Mom."
Load More Replies... Surly Scot 3 weeks ago
Leave him at his mother's house where he belongs, big baby, move on to a man who appreciates you going to the effort of throwing him a party.
Yellow dot 3 weeks ago
It takes two to "communicate differently" and since zero communication was coming from one side, she left. Who tf would not after hours of trying to communicate with no response? This m**o is cheating, cannot convince me otherwise.
CBolt 3 weeks ago (edited)
Long day, 3 hrs round trip to take & eat Thanksgiving dinner with 95-yr-old MIL who as much as accused us of stealing her $, having a couple glasses of restorative wine after getting home - 8s that why I can't figure out what " m**o " is?
Load More Replies... BrownEyedPanda 3 weeks ago
You don't EVEN want to know. For that matter, neither do I.
Load More Replies... Lupita Nyong'heaux 3 weeks ago
i wanna know how the 7% think she shoulda communicated differently when a*****e wouldn't answer the phone or respond to her texts. inquiring minds wanna know...
Justme 3 weeks ago
I would have said something along the lines of the guests are leaving, or the party has ended, or you missed your party, rather than party canceled. Truly she didn’t cancel anything so it was weird that’s how she communicated that.
Load More Replies... Liz The Biz 3 weeks ago
NTA. The guests left because they were bored of waiting. He knew everyone was waiting and he couldn't even be bothered to call, text or answer his phone
The Camera Man 3 weeks ago
I betcha fifty bucks most of the YTAs here are also people who go for a sidepiece birthday f**k while ignoring their real obligations, and then gaslighting their g/f and Mummy.
Amused panda 3 weeks ago
I was reading it thinking...but, what if it was urgent, work that couldn't be delayed...then I got to the detail of what he does for a living and just thought, nah. However, I do think OP should have worded it slightly differently - rather than saying "Party cancelled", 'Party over, shame you missed it' would have been better.
Pittsburgh rare 3 weeks ago (edited)
She's only TA if she believes that flimsy excuse of working odd hours regularly as a mechanic. Guy's totally cheating
PrettyJoyBird 3 weeks ago
Mechanic collegues needing help. No he is cheating. His mommys an enabler. I really hope OP wised up moved on with her life.
Upstaged75 3 weeks ago
Why do women stay with men like this? She can't possibly think she's really in the wrong here?
Mad McQueen 3 weeks ago
He knew. It was for him. His party. All he had to do was tell the caller I'm sorry I'm in the middle of personal stuff I can't help you. Or he could have went to a bathroom and read his messages and given a heads up. 3 hours with Jo contact and it's your fault he got upset and then went and cried to mommy? It wasn't even his bday. Ya need a better bf that should have at least appreciated you trying to hold a party together that he couldn't even bother to message he was gonna be late. Bye Felicia.
CBolt 3 weeks ago (edited)
NTA & I don't see that it matters how she communicated to him that there was no longer a (his) party to attend - if my significant other did what this jerk did, there's no telling how I would have worded it - in the moment, furious, hurt - but it wouldn't have been anywhere as nice or as succinct as OP's msg was. Ditto for responses to his Mommy's texts since she's his enabler.
Suzie 3 weeks ago
You'd think that someone "so excited for the party", he would have bothered showing up for it. He must not have been too excited for it after all. I hope she told his mother that her son didn't bother showing up until 3.5 hours after the party started and couldn't even stay in communication about why he wasn't there or how late he would be.
Gwyn 3 weeks ago
Pretty simply he didn't want to go and can't take confrontation so made himself unavailable during and after the party. If he can't stand up for what he wants and communicate himself then there's no hope for a relationship. What's next... He agrees to have kids when he doesn't want to and then pretends they don't exist?
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