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Traveler Plans Japan Trip, Then Friends Add Strangers, They Cancel And Wonder If They’re The Jerk
If there’s one thing we’ve all learned from life, it’s that too many cooks spoil the broth. Now imagine those cooks are your friends, and the broth is your dream trip somewhere wonderful.
For one netizen, an exciting trip to Japan and South Korea with three high school friends went sideways when unexpected additions nearly doubled the group’s size. This forced the Original Poster (OP) to make a bold and controversial decision: to bow out of the trip altogether.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
When too many people get involved in planning a trip, what was once exciting can quickly turn into something really stressful
Image credits: Torsten Dettlaff / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author had a trip planned with friends and learned that an acquaintance was joining in for a few activities, but they were fine with it
Image credits: aliarai
Image credits: Diva Plavalaguna / Pexels (not the actual photo)
They would later find out that three additional people would be added to the trip, making the initial trip of four become a trip of eight
Image credits: aliarai
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author was uncomfortable with the added strangers, and organizing the trip with everyone became chaotic
Image credits: aliarai
They got a refund on their ticket and withdrew from the trip, leaving their friends surprised and upset
The original plan was quite simple: the OP had envisioned a trip to South Korea and Japan with three of their close friends. With tickets booked and planning underway, it seemed like the perfect getaway and the OP was eagerly looking forward to exploring.
One friend mentioned that a friend who the OP wasn’t familiar with might join them for a few activities in Japan, but it wasn’t a big deal. The person had their own itinerary, and it wouldn’t affect the core dynamic of the group.
However, things took an unexpected turn and got a bit more interesting when two of the OP’s friends were invited to join the trip. Suddenly, a group trip for four swelled to seven— potentially eight—and what was once an intimate plan now felt chaotic.
For the OP, the change was unsettling. Traveling in a large group— especially with people you’ve never met— came with its challenges. Will everyone get along? And what about the aspects like room-sharing, splitting bills, or navigating public transportation?
A group call meant to iron out the details only added to the OP’s anxiety. There were too many opinions, too many voices. Rather than risk a stressful and expensive trip, the OP made the tough call to withdraw, refunding their ticket and wishing the group well.
This decision left friends shocked and upset. However, the OP’s choice wasn’t about the newcomers— it was about protecting their own peace of mind. Traveling thousands of miles and spending a fortune with strangers felt like too big a gamble.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Traveling is one of the most rewarding experiences one can have, and traveling in a group can be a great way to share experiences, split costs, and have an added layer of security. However, there are challenges that come with traveling with a big group, let alone with a few strangers.
According to the Travel Pocket Guide, large groups may mean less flexibility, a clash of preferences, and a likelihood of personality conflicts. Decision-making will become increasingly complex as more opinions are added to the equation, and the mere act of trying to coordinate everyone’s schedules can sometimes feel like herding cats.
Moreover, the Stride Creative Group explored the science of familiarity, and they report that decades of research have shown that familiarity is a powerful driver of human behavior. People are naturally drawn to and feel more at ease with, those they know and trust.
Building on this understanding, the presence of strangers in a travel group can therefore become a potentially discomforting and uneasy situation. Christina Jane, a travel blogger, offers valuable tips for navigating trips, especially when traveling in a group.
“Trust your intuition. Do not be willing to go on a trip with just anyone,” she wrote on her website. She also emphasized ensuring everyone is on the same page. Finally, she advised being prepared to go your own way if things don’t work out.
Netizens were overwhelmingly in support of the traveler’s decision to cancel the trip, with many agreeing that adding strangers without prior consent was disrespectful.
Others validated the discomfort of traveling with strangers, suggesting that the OP save their money for a more enjoyable trip later.
Would you have gone on the trip anyway or made the same decision to back out? We’d love to hear your take on this—share your thoughts below!
The general sentiment from netizens was clear: the decision to bow out was the right one, and the friends’ actions were unfair
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What do you think ?
Gen X Feral 2 weeks ago
Who just invites people on a trip without a thought to the others involved, so rude. My husband and I trying to decide on a place to eat can be an ordeal, let alone a bunch of strangers. Sounds like a nightmare
KatSaidWhat 2 weeks ago
Hell, I struggle with JustEat by myself, never mind a restaurant 😆
Load More Replies...
veirdbuttrue 2 weeks ago
NTA! Complete change in group dynamics when its doubled and you don't know half the people. That's a whole different trip. I wouldn't like it either.
Mark Childers 2 weeks ago
It's rare that you find a group of four compatible travel buddies outside of two couples. Adding another four people she doesn't know would be miserable. Everything they did would become a debate, and everyone would get mad, defensive, and miserable. This trip will be a disaster, especially being in a foreign country and not being able to get home quickly when it all goes down. I've been in so many bad travel situations with people that I prefer to travel alone. I don't have to compromise on what I want to do or where I want to go, and I always have more fun because I meet locals.
Diolla 2 weeks ago
Yes! I've done several group travels out of convenience, to visit exotic faraway places. So far, in any group over 4 there has been tension, irritations, etc.. Travelling solo always works, although by now I'm a bit tired of always having to take care of everything by myself and not always having someone to share experiences with.
Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat 2 weeks ago
Dizzle71 clearly not been on a holiday that has been hard work because suddenly there was a big group and nobody could agree on what to do, where to go, what to eat...
Lance LaRocque 2 weeks ago
I would have kept the flight but go solo once you landed. You could still meet up for the odd meal or other activities.
CanadianDimes 2 weeks ago
I had something similar happen many years ago. I planned with a friend to go to Toronto for a few days, then a few of his other friends got wind of it and it turned into a road trip around Ontario with people I mostly didn't know (and one of them only wanted to go to attend a protest against seal hunting, not to actually travel). I bowed out because it was not what I wanted and my friend ended up having a miserable and stressful time.
Dave Morris 2 weeks ago
Everyone is different, and if you don't feel comfortable with the changes and are OK to pull out, then do that! NTA.
Paul Rabit 2 weeks ago
Having traveled with various people, I will definitely say that who you travel with can make or break a trip. And I'm not sure where OP is from originally but Japan is expensive to visit from most places in the world - I wouldn't want to spend that kind of money on a gamble.
Wang Zhuang 2 weeks ago
I would say NTA. Bottom line, OP has the right to be comfortable about the situation, and if they weren't, they did the right thing by pulling out.
Tams21 2 weeks ago
I've travelled a lot and often with people who were pretty much just strangers I met along the way but I'm still saying NTA. Everyone is different and travelling isn't just going from place to place, it often involves a deeper, personal journey. It's up to each person to make the experience theirs and that includes saying no when it doesn't feel right.
Gen X Feral 2 weeks ago
Who just invites people on a trip without a thought to the others involved, so rude. My husband and I trying to decide on a place to eat can be an ordeal, let alone a bunch of strangers. Sounds like a nightmare
KatSaidWhat 2 weeks ago
Hell, I struggle with JustEat by myself, never mind a restaurant 😆
Load More Replies... veirdbuttrue 2 weeks ago
NTA! Complete change in group dynamics when its doubled and you don't know half the people. That's a whole different trip. I wouldn't like it either.
Mark Childers 2 weeks ago
It's rare that you find a group of four compatible travel buddies outside of two couples. Adding another four people she doesn't know would be miserable. Everything they did would become a debate, and everyone would get mad, defensive, and miserable. This trip will be a disaster, especially being in a foreign country and not being able to get home quickly when it all goes down. I've been in so many bad travel situations with people that I prefer to travel alone. I don't have to compromise on what I want to do or where I want to go, and I always have more fun because I meet locals.
Diolla 2 weeks ago
Yes! I've done several group travels out of convenience, to visit exotic faraway places. So far, in any group over 4 there has been tension, irritations, etc.. Travelling solo always works, although by now I'm a bit tired of always having to take care of everything by myself and not always having someone to share experiences with.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 2 weeks ago
Dizzle71 clearly not been on a holiday that has been hard work because suddenly there was a big group and nobody could agree on what to do, where to go, what to eat...
Lance LaRocque 2 weeks ago
I would have kept the flight but go solo once you landed. You could still meet up for the odd meal or other activities.
CanadianDimes 2 weeks ago
I had something similar happen many years ago. I planned with a friend to go to Toronto for a few days, then a few of his other friends got wind of it and it turned into a road trip around Ontario with people I mostly didn't know (and one of them only wanted to go to attend a protest against seal hunting, not to actually travel). I bowed out because it was not what I wanted and my friend ended up having a miserable and stressful time.
Dave Morris 2 weeks ago
Everyone is different, and if you don't feel comfortable with the changes and are OK to pull out, then do that! NTA.
Paul Rabit 2 weeks ago
Having traveled with various people, I will definitely say that who you travel with can make or break a trip. And I'm not sure where OP is from originally but Japan is expensive to visit from most places in the world - I wouldn't want to spend that kind of money on a gamble.
Wang Zhuang 2 weeks ago
I would say NTA. Bottom line, OP has the right to be comfortable about the situation, and if they weren't, they did the right thing by pulling out.
Tams21 2 weeks ago
I've travelled a lot and often with people who were pretty much just strangers I met along the way but I'm still saying NTA. Everyone is different and travelling isn't just going from place to place, it often involves a deeper, personal journey. It's up to each person to make the experience theirs and that includes saying no when it doesn't feel right.
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