Honestly OP's gotta stop letting this woman live in her head rent-free. Mute her on FB, ignore the messages if you're not comfortable shutting them down directly, and move on. It's her problem, don't let her make it yours too.

My daughter will be going to South Africa next year on a trip from college. £2200 + vaccines + other expenses. There is absolutely no way we would ever consider asking other people to contribute towards paying for it. If we couldn't afford it, she wouldn't be going. It really is that simple. Someone needs to tell this person to fűck right off.

Ugh reminds me of my ex bosses who were millionaires and they begged regularly for funds for their severly disabled child, of whom they got regular large checks for from the government because he was born disabled (they knew at 4 months he would be severely disabled due to lack of oxygen and would need round the clock care 24/7). They guilted everyone to fork out money for every single event they held. People donated time, money, resources etc and not once did the family pay one thing. Special schools, hand outs; wheel chairs never used and custom made, hand outs; sent the child to America and they had a huge 3 week Disney vacation whilst the child was looked after in care, hand outs paid for the lot. Food, clothes, you name it, hand outs. They left the child in the elderly grandmother's care 90% of the time and she paid for everything instead of them. They gaslit her into it saying she should do it because her beloved grandchild needed it and if she loved him she would sacrifice it.

Honestly if tge family can't afford to send tge child on the trip then the child shouldn't get to go. It's not essential to her education and if she's desperate to help people in poverty then she could volunteer locally. As for the mother she needs to be told straight up to stop pestering, it's not nice and not going to encourage people to help. As for calling out people who gave more money I hope they ask for their gifts back because I truly wouldn't want to encourage her

In many workplaces, at least in the USA, collecting funds is banned. Can't even sell Girl Scout Cookies to your co-workers. I would complain to management, see if they care about this at all.

The way some people act like they’re doing the world a favor by traveling internationally… I do not know how we arrived here, but I have issues with people in my life acting like travel is some kind of moral imperative and if you don’t do it regularly you are missing out/not well-rounded as a person. Recreational travel - I include voluntary “charity” expeditions in this - is a LUXURY. No one is entitled to see the world because their soul yearns for adventure or whatever the frïck. In my universe, I work to provide for my needs, and if I’m able to earn beyond that, I might look for something fun to do or buy within those means. Bully for you if that results in you touring Italy or whatever, but don’t you dare go to others and act like they should give up a dollar of THEIR extra money because you don’t have as much as you wished. Rant over.

Jus tell her to stop harassing you unless she wants that settled in court. Block her everywhere you can too.

Just unfriend or block her on FB. Sheesh!

In cases like this, or when I'm stopped in the street by a "cheggar" (charity beggar) I tell them I support six charities. These are close to my heart for personal or family reasons: cancer research, British Heart Foundation, Water Aid . . . So yes, I am happy to contribute but YOU tell me which charity I stop giving to . . . . Barnardos? Cancer Research? Oxfam?

Set up a (fake) fund raiser page for your next holiday and when she asks again, say "I'm glad you brought that up. Here is a link to my fundraiser page for my trip. I know you'll be really keen to donate".

I hate this Performative Social Justice Tourism, paying thousands of dollars so some rich kids can donate $50 to poor people who were chosen because they're more interesting looking than local poor people and the setting are more photogenic. Looking at prices of flights and hotels, £6,000 per individual can pay for a luxury trip to Namibia, and even asking for friends and family to fund a high school's luxury trip is ridiculous, much less asking coworkers.

Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

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"You + your daughter are not on my approved list of charities."

I get upset with schools that set up these ridiculously expensive trips. Families can't afford this. I bet if the schools had to pay for the trips, the trips would become reasonable. OP needs to admit to herself that it isn't going to happen, followed by a discussion with her child.

Also, Namibia? It has a small population but is quite developed in areas. Is she thinking she's going to pose in front of grass huts or something?

Sorry, OP has much bigger problems if they can't even downright say "No, I'm not contributing, please stop messaging me". Mind you, I don't blame OP -who knows why they are like that? But they need to take care of that before someone really exploits them.

Start your own fundraising site for your holiday and ask her to contribute first then match funds - problem solved.

I suspect it may be Duke of Edinburgh Awards trip. So the students have to charity fundraise to go on the trip. But fundraise. Not beg. I'd speak to HR and see if there's a policy. If none, donate £1 and add a comment "paying to stop the persistent harassment tbh."

Cretinous friends? Bin 'em!

Sorry there's no WAY it actually costs £6000, because no school would expect a student to raise that kind of money

Lady! No one cares about your daughter's trip! Get over it!

OP should counter every request by asking this woman for contributions for one of the OP's relatives (real or fictional). "I'm sorry, but I'm trying to come up with money to send my niece Marsha to band camp this summer. How much do you think you could give?"