Public restrooms can become a source of dilemma and anxiety for some parents. Many wonder what the appropriate thing to do is when you’re a mom taking your toddler son to the bathroom. And vice versa – what if you’re a dad and your two-year-old daughter needs to go potty?

This mom got in quite an altercation with another woman when she took her two-year-old son to the women’s bathroom. The woman thought it was inappropriate to bring a male into a ladies’ space. Yet the mom thought this was absurd and shared online how she dealt with the screaming woman.

A mother took her two-year-old son with her into the ladies’ room and got schooled by a woman about how men shouldn’t be there

Image credits: Quinn Dombrowski / flickr (not the actual photo)

The mom then pettily waited for the woman to come out and confronted her outside

Image credits: Maria_Sbytova / envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Public-Proposal7378

Moms should take their toddlers to the women’s restroom, and dads – to the men’s

Image credits: Vika Glitter / pexels (not the actual photo)

As evident from the comments below, many parents have faced the dilemma of which restroom they should choose when with their children. When the child is still a baby, it’s not as concerning, as many people still perceive them as almost genderless. But when the child is older, a toddler, is there actual etiquette to how parents should solve this dilemma?

Ultimately, experts say that parents should apply common sense here. Most people believe that the gender of the parent determines which restroom the parent and the child should use. Parenting and youth development expert Dr. Deborah Gilboa is of this opinion.

“Unless there’s a good reason to use the women’s room, stick to the men’s room,” Gilboa told Today about dads who aren’t sure whether they’re allowed to take their daughters into the men’s restroom with them. “They’re not going to get cooties.”

Brisbane-based parenting expert Dr. Justin Coulson agrees. He says a father taking his daughter into the ladies’ room might make a lot of women uncomfortable. “I don’t think it’s ever appropriate for an adult male to be taking his daughter to the female toilets so that she’s comfortable,” he told ABC Brisbane.

“Similarly it doesn’t seem appropriate that a woman would take her son into the male toilets,” he went on. “We have gendered toilets so that people feel safe, and that should be respected. I think that’s an appropriate social norm that we have.”

So, if the child is too young to go into the toilets by themselves, the parent should take them to the toilet of their gender. If the child can do their business on their own but are scared to go in by themselves, Coulson recommends approaching an adult who’s going in to escort the child in and out.

Gender-inclusive bathrooms would simplify the public restroom issue for many moms and dads

Image credits: Tim Mossholder / pexels (not the actual photo)

For men, the restroom situation is often even worse. Many dads might need to come into the women’s restroom to use a changing table. While many men’s restrooms do have them, it’s still not required by federal law in the U.S. So, they have no other option than to go into the women’s bathroom.

Some people say that all-gendered bathrooms would solve this problem. Anyone can use gender-neutral bathrooms: transgender or cisgender, gender non-conforming or gender-conforming persons. Those with disabilities and the people accompanying them benefit from all-gender bathrooms as well.

All-gender bathrooms can be either single-occupancy or group restrooms. Single-occupancy restrooms usually have grab bars and wide turn radiuses for wheelchair users. They are private, so parents can change diapers and assist small children. However, they limit the user to a single choice and cause queues when there are lots of people around.

Non-gendered group restrooms are the most inclusive, according to Neumann Monson Architects. Each stall in such a restroom has floor-to-ceiling partitions and full-height doors to protect privacy. The architects say it reduces wait times: “A non-gendered restroom gives anyone access to the next available lavatory, creating a more equitable environment.”

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Many parents – especially dads – encounter a similar problem while out with their kids, and they shared their stories in the comments

Commenters sided with the mother, saying the woman was just looking for something to get mad about

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