The savage art of the comeback is something that we should all take the time and dedication to master. There are very few things in life as satisfying as completely and utterly decimating someone with your wit, your snappiness, and your banter. And if you throw some good old-fashioned logic and common sense into the mix? Whew, you’re a legend.
The place that celebrates these “well-constructed put-downs, comebacks, and counter-arguments” is the legendary ‘Murdered By Words’ subreddit. Boasting a whopping 2.5 million members, r/MurderedByWords shares the best comebacks that we all wish we came up with ourselves. And, well, during the actual arguments, not days later while we’re shampooing our hair in the shower.
One of the moderators helping manage the vast r/MurderedByWords community answered some of my questions about the community. "The way we see it, a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply. In other words, their point has been totally demolished," the mod explained to Bored Panda.
"Now, obviously there's more than one way to murder with words, and sometimes a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," they added. Scroll down for the moderator's insights about how they and their colleagues tackle the challenges that come with managing such a large online community.
Check out the best online verbal put-downs, upvote the ones that impressed you the most, and be sure to give r/MurderedByWords a follow if you’re a fan of their stuff. When you’re done with this article, you’ll find some more inspiration for your future epic comebacks by checking out our previous features of the subreddit here, here, and here. Somebody call the police and the coroner because these ‘word-murders’ are out of control.
This post may include affiliate links.
Red Shirts Everywhere...
I Think This Belongs Here Too
Women Aren't People, Apparently
The moderator representing r/MurderedByWords shared with me that they have a very thorough vetting system in place for new mods. "We manage the community by being a tight-knit group of moderators who are all carefully vetted before being given the position, to ensure the stability of the subreddit and that good content gets through," they said. However, it's not just the mods who decide whether or not a comeback can be classified as a 'murder.' That honor is also given to the community members themselves.
"Overall, we believe in letting the subreddit determine what is or isn't a murder, and try to step in or remove posts only when the rules are broken or we see the same post for the gazillionth time," the mod explained.
According to the moderator, the community has its own challenges, just like any other large subreddit. "Every single post will always have someone who says, 'Not a murder,' 'This sub is dying/dead,' 'Mods suck,' etc. That comes with the territory of any subreddit, from smallest to largest," they told Bored Panda that these sorts of comments are completely unavoidable, no matter what the community might be. However, a bigger issue is... politics.
Yes, The Answer Is Yes
Who Doesn't Love Irony?
Far Too Many People See The Answer To This As Being "Yes"
"Another challenge that came up was when we decided before the US Presidential Elections to ban politics from the sub (there is a sticky at the top of the subreddit outlining what is/isn't allowed). Somehow, we managed to have both sides of the political spectrum pissed off at us for that one. Democrats complaining we had caved to the Republicans who kept getting 'owned,' and Republicans complaining because this was one big left-wing [echo chamber] and now they couldn't even respond with their own posts. We then made the ban permanent, but we still have to remove plenty of posts which fit the criteria for the no-politics rule."
But at the core of it all are practical challenges like finding ways to keep the subreddit growing and full of fresh content that will keep redditors happy. "We're lucky in that we frequently create posts that reach the front page and receive tens of thousands of upvotes (many have even passed the 100k upvote mark), which in turn helps draw attention to the sub, which creates more content, etc."
The Media Makes It To Be A Feel Good Story Over A Dystopian Nightmare
You’re An Asstrovert
Let’s All Make A Pledge
Nearly two years ago, I had a friendly chat with redditor Xor50, who’d been one of the moderators helping run r/MurderedByWords. They told me a bit about the community that has been running since December 2016, the type of content the subreddit features (and how it differs from similar subreddits like r/clevercomebacks), and how to give your put-down more substance.
“A ‘real murder’ in terms of this subreddit would be [this]: A murder should be a response to something or someone that totally, for lack of a better word, destroys them. They are, of course, subjective, and should be more or less based on fact,” Xor50 told Bored Panda previously.
Don't B Confused
More C-19 Experts..
Am I So Out Of Touch? No, It's The Children Who Are Wrong
“What is the difference between a ‘murder’ and ‘burn’ anyway? The mod team and even the MBW community has struggled for over a year to try and define the difference. It’s quite subjective and nearly an ‘I know it when I see it!’ situation, however, there are some generalities,” the redditor explained that there have been debates about the details of what constitutes a ‘murder.’
“Murders tend to be longer. It’s nearly impossible to ‘murder’ someone inside of a tweet. It’s just not long enough. You can burn them pretty good yes but a ‘murder’ is far more complete,” they said.
“Basically, anything that you would think is a witticism, one-liner, snappy comeback, or hot take is going to be a burn. Those may be a better fit for /r/clevercomebacks. Murders tend to be long-form, taking a minute or several to read, and thoroughly deconstruct an argument and/or the person making it.”
Columbus Day
🤣 That reply has some zing to it, anyone know where I can find that spcie?
Murdered By Wit
I Like The Second Guy’s Energy
Xor50 added that your personal passion for a topic can help inspire you to find a clever way to put down someone’s bad arguments. “Think about a topic you’re really passionate about and imagine you’re talking to an idiot who just doesn’t get it. That’s how I imagine it,” they said.
The art of the comeback isn’t out of reach for us, no matter how epic and unreachable some of these slap-backs and roasts might seem.
Classic Karen
Yeah, That'll Work
That’s Got To Hurt
British comedy writer and stand-up comedian Ariane Sherine explained to me during an earlier interview what the most important parts of a comeback are. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda.
According to Ariane, most stand-up comics actually have a “repertoire of comebacks” that they rely on while on the stage. This way, they can be prepared for hecklers and (at least some) unexpected situations. There’s a lot of prep that goes into being a good comedian!
“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," she said.
How Dare We Give You The Correct Amount Of Changes
Bit Of A Stretch
What's with people and body hair? If you like body hair, good for you. If you don't, also good for you. No need to body shame someone for something that occurs naturally. It's like insulting someone for having legs. I'm looking at you, female beauty standards
Seriously What Is Wrong With You
So, does that mean we can have a Good Friday every year for the next 2,000 years to remember George Floyd, and condemn racism and police brutality?
And stick statues of George Floyd in random buildings too
Load More Replies...And resurrection! Talk about an attention whore!
Load More Replies...dude let it go it's been over a thousand years and he was just a carpenter
Right? It's in the past, just move on. We can never move on if we live in the past....
Load More Replies...Apparently, Elvis never died, also.
Load More Replies...Don't recognize? I can't go to most stores on Easter because friggin' zombie Jesus rose from the dead and apparently the whole world needs to shut down whether you believe in that s**t or not.
The reverend honestly gives a damn, it seems. At least he's got a few shreds of humanity in him.
They were both killed by the state. I guess that’s one thing they have in common.
The funny part: I bet he wanted to insert "the F**K" in there. I know I did.
The one thing some people don't see is Jesus Christ arose in 3 days. So technically He's not dead.
or--why do you want to make Jesus ashamed of you?
Load More Replies...Practicing Christian here - I agree with the minister (haven't gone to church in 10 years)
This comment is not meant to offend anyone so if it does, I apologize. As a Christian, it makes me super sad to see a whole bunch of idiots out there claiming to be Christian but completely going against what the bible and God say. I get that people make mistakes and that fine but when someone claiming to be christian openly negativaly or rudly makes a comment about somthing or someone that they have no business commenting on, just know that is not what we stand for. If you read that whole thing, thank you! Again, not trying to offend anyone. (Also, I think I spelled some stuff wrong, so sorry about that. Lol)
The Death of Christ is recognized all over the world for a couple of weeks each year, and has been for about two thousand years. Most people in the world don't know who George Floyd was.
I don't go to church, but if I ever did Dr. Chuck's would be where I'd go. Rev Jones, get your head out of your behind.
WWJD? Has this guy read his Bible? Does he think Jesus would turn away from George Floyd and racial inequity? If only Jesus had told us some stories about what we should do....
black on black issues are the worst annoyance in the entire universe. adding religion to it is worse.. argh Jesus is a savior for about 4 billion people and George Floyd is the savior of change in 7 billion lives' perspective on racism and equality! so shut up
I believe his triumph over death was what Jesus was trying to communicate.
Do you have any scientific evidence that jesus triumphed anything, let alone death?
Load More Replies...floyd, the criminal, was made a hero...Jesus, a hero, was made a criminal
Did jesus really die in your opinion? According to the myths in the bible, jesus had one rough weekend & then he went to heaven. Some humans have sacrificed & suffered much more than jesus supposedly did. Look at John McCain (who I didn't like), he was tortured in Vietnam for years & he didn't give up information on his officers. If god can do anything, why can't he just forgive? What's with the blood & torture? God is supposedly an all-powerful, all-good, perfect being with a divine plan. He created everything. He created the universe, he created the creatures in it, & created the rules for what are sins. Why did he create anything at all? Why create things that will go against him? Piss him off? Why create sins or even the potential to sin? Do you believe in heaven? Is heaven all-good? Are there sins in heaven? So god can create a place that's all-good with no sins in it. Why not do that on earth? Instead you have this nonsensical story about torture & jesus (who may not be real).
Load More Replies...I wish people recognized the death of Jesus Christ as much as they do their Nana. That's all I have to say.
Did jesus really die in your opinion? According to the myths in the bible, jesus had one rough weekend & then he went to heaven. Some humans have sacrificed & suffered much more than jesus supposedly did. Look at John McCain (who I didn't like), he was tortured in Vietnam for years & he didn't give up information on his officers. If god can do anything, why can't he just forgive? What's with the blood & torture? God is supposedly an all-powerful, all-good, perfect being with a divine plan. He created everything. He created the universe, he created the creatures in it, & created the rules for what are sins. Why did he create anything at all? Why create things that will go against him? Piss him off? Why create sins or even the potential to sin? Do you believe in heaven? Is heaven all-good? Are there sins in heaven? So god can create a place that's all-good with no sins in it. Why not do that on earth? Instead you have this nonsensical story about torture & jesus (who may not be real).
Load More Replies...Another nonsensical rebuttal. What in the world is he trying to say? That people should not recognize the death of Jesus Christ? That George Floyd was as deserving of recognition as Jesus Christ?
Did jesus really die in your opinion? According to the myths in the bible, jesus had one rough weekend & then he went to heaven. Some humans have sacrificed & suffered much more than jesus supposedly did. Look at John McCain (who I didn't like), he was tortured in Vietnam for years & he didn't give up information on his officers. If god can do anything, why can't he just forgive? What's with the blood & torture? God is supposedly an all-powerful, all-good, perfect being with a divine plan. He created everything. He created the universe, he created the creatures in it, & created the rules for what are sins. Why did he create anything at all? Why create things that will go against him? Piss him off? Why create sins or even the potential to sin? Do you believe in heaven? Is heaven all-good? Are there sins in heaven? So god can create a place that's all-good with no sins in it. Why not do that on earth? Instead you have this nonsensical story about torture & jesus (who may not be real).
Load More Replies...With George Floyd's death, we asked (including me) "Why?! Why did he have to die?" We wanted to know. We demanded answers. We went on to take action in response to those answers. So, with Jesus Christ's death, I know I asked "Why?! Why did he have to die?" I wanted to know. I demanded answers. I took action in response to those answers. Have you? Aren't both men deserving of equal consideration? I think so. That's all.
Did jesus really die in your opinion? According to the myths in the bible, jesus had one rough weekend & then he went to heaven. Some humans have sacrificed & suffered much more than jesus supposedly did. Look at John McCain (who I didn't like), he was tortured in Vietnam for years & he didn't give up information on his officers. If god can do anything, why can't he just forgive? What's with the blood & torture? God is supposedly an all-powerful, all-good, perfect being with a divine plan. He created everything. He created the universe, he created the creatures in it, & created the rules for what are sins. Why did he create anything at all? Why create things that will go against him? Piss him off? Why create sins or even the potential to sin? Do you believe in heaven? Is heaven all-good? Are there sins in heaven? So god can create a place that's all-good with no sins in it. Why not do that on earth? Instead you have this illogical, nonsensical story about torture & jesus.
Load More Replies...That's the theology that you were taught. It doesn't take into account that other faiths also hold people accountable for their actions. How they atone can vary: confession to a religious authority, prayer, direct atonement to the person they sinned against, etc. Atheists can certainly feel guilt, empathy and act selflessly towards others. Altruism has been observed in dolphins, wolves, and even vampire bats. Anyways, no worries, I had to learn similar things through observation, reading, thinking, and talking to different people and listening to them.
Load More Replies...Ariane revealed to Bored Panda that comedy professionals build up emotional resilience with time and experience.
“Heckle putdowns are generally shared among comics so there's no code of honor when it comes to using them (but you mustn't nick original stand-up material!),” Ariane told me where we can find some inspiration for clever comebacks.
Good Luck To The Women In Your Future
Entitled Karen Getting Stabbed By Words
Get Wrecked...
The comedy writer also pointed out that comebacks can either be spontaneous or more planned out (if you’ve got the time), depending on the actual comic.
"It [the comeback] needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” she said, adding that it’s relatively rare in her experience to have spontaneous eruptions of genius all the time. “That's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!"
Research Before You Sprouts Anything On Social Media
Better Check Those Facts
Handle With Care
'As a man, the only emotion you should show is forest hack-saw domination', said, a conservative.
Why Go Out Of Your Way To Be An As**ole?
This Doubles As A Til About The Spanish Anthem
Once Wasn't Enough, He Came Back For More
Rip Sportsball Fan
I completely support LGBTQ rights because LGBTQ people are the same as us heterosexuals, they just have different romantic preferences. They don't deserve to be treated as less than us...
God vs. Humanity
Trying To Gatekeep Conversations
What the actual f*ck is the original poster thinking? This must be one of the stupidest things I have ever read.
I've Had A 32" TV For Longer Than I'd Like To Admit
Oh, No! Anything But That!
US heath insurance is a scam... And textbooks are a scam... And minimum wage is a scam... Basically everything is a scam
The Ol' Switcheroo
Who Ever Will Fight A Wolf ?
But How Will They Make Money If They Can't Take Advantage Of People?!??
What Are Crab Cakes?
Doctor Of Reading?
Sounds like the symptoms of covid...so people without vaccination tend to get covid symptoms ... Who'd ave guessed?
I Don’t Really Know If This Counts But..
1) why would you be this pretentious in the first place 2) why would you be so pretentious on a god damn memes page...
Just So We’re Clear
It's Almost As If
You Can't Justify Her Actions No Matter What
He was trying to create a new line of skin care products...to sell in baskets....
I Once Knew A Peacock
Sometimes I actually forget that so many people are so completely stupid. Thank you for reminding me because it's important to remember.
Idiots being like "BP users are just looking to get offended" while being a BP user
I had to quit reading. I've never read so many stupid, uncaring remarks in all my life!
I keep hearing Only Fans on the internet lately, but I have a feeling I shouldn't bother Googling it.
Sometimes I actually forget that so many people are so completely stupid. Thank you for reminding me because it's important to remember.
Idiots being like "BP users are just looking to get offended" while being a BP user
I had to quit reading. I've never read so many stupid, uncaring remarks in all my life!
I keep hearing Only Fans on the internet lately, but I have a feeling I shouldn't bother Googling it.