Who does the cooking at home can be a contentious issue in many relationships. The question isn’t just about food: it’s about respecting your partner, dividing up household chores fairly, and using your creativity to move beyond ‘oh I dunno, what do you wanna eat?’ And it can be demotivating to realize that the person you make food for every single day doesn’t even appreciate your efforts.

Redditor u/Tart-Large opened up about the tense ongoing situation in her home. She asked the AITA Reddit community for their advice on whether or not she was wrong to throw out her husband’s dinner. He was chronically late to sit down at the dinner table, and she finally snapped: this was the last drop. However, this caused quite an argument between the married couple.

You’ll find the full story in the redditor’s own words below. Scroll down to read what happened and how internet users reacted. When you’re done, tell us your verdict in the comments, Pandas: who do you think was the jerk in this story? What do you think the couple should have done next?

It hurts when your efforts behind the stove aren’t appreciated by your loved ones. Especially when you’re the only one cooking

Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas (not the actual photo)

A redditor shared what finally made her snap and throw her husband’s entire dinner in the trash

Image credits: charlesdeluvio (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Siavash Ghanbari (not the actual photo)

The redditor had a small update for the AITA community later on

Image credits: Tart-Large

At the end of the day, this entire situation seems like it’s more about control in the relationship itself rather than eating food. The wife doesn’t get any time to relax. Meanwhile, her husband seems to be taking all of her efforts for granted. He’s not showing that he appreciates her cooking for both of them at all, from the post.

Things came to a head when the husband was late to come down for dinner yet again, despite the couple having decided on a specific time to eat.

The wife finally had enough and threw his dinner out when he was 5 minutes late. She made a very clear point that she had had enough and wouldn’t tolerate his disrespect anymore. He couldn’t fulfill his promises. He couldn’t bother to pitch in. And the wife finally drew a line in the sand. To be fair, however, the redditor did note that the husband does his fair share of other chores.

The vast majority of redditors were very supportive of the wife and urged her to pinpoint the exact issues that she has in the relationship. They also suggested that she should have a very serious conversation with her husband about what’s bothering her. However, some redditors had a different opinion and thought that nobody was blameless in this particular case.

According to certified relationship coach Alex Scot, dividing up the chores at home is a necessity. “If one partner consistently does the majority of the work, typically it leads to that partner feeling like a nanny,” she told Bored Panda earlier.

One way to do this is to have an open and honest conversation about which chores both partners prefer and which ones they detest with a burning passion.

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“For example, I don’t mind cleaning toilets but I hate vacuuming, so my partner is the one who vacuums and I’m the one that cleans the bathroom. For any chores that both partners don’t want to do, take turns alternating. This will vary from couple to couple but the goal here is to keep communication open, fair, and realistic for each other’s schedules,” the coach suggested.

However, if things get heated and you end up in an argument, you can start mending fences by becoming close physically. The relationship expert suggested a hug or a kiss. “Even though you may not feel like hugging or kissing your partner post-argument, as soon as you can bring yourself to do so, go for it. Your nervous system will thank you as it regulates with your partner’s nervous system by sensing their heart rate and breathing.”

Most redditors supported the wife on this. Here’s what they had to say about the entire situation

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However, some internet users weren’t convinced. Here are their opinions about the wife, who they thought wasn’t blameless

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